"Secrets, secrets, are no fun. Secrets, secrets, hurt someone." A silly rhyme made famous by The Office, its lesson still holds up. People keep secrets because they're afraid once the secret gets out someone will get hurt. Typically, they overestimate the amount. No one's going to care you stole gum when you were 5-years-old.
However, these are not those kinds of secrets.
Well, not all of them.
Reddit user, u/MoistPotatoPeel, wanted the sauciest secrets when they asked:
What is the biggest/longest secret you've kept?
Jealousy Breeds Action
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I killed my best friends fish while watching it for her while she was on vacation. Then I replaced it with a fish that looked nothing like it and told everyone that they were crazy for thinking that it wasn't the same fish.
Edit- it was accidental, and the fishes were the same type of fish but they just didn't look the same. i also watched it for two weeks and it just happened to die on the last day. And to top it off the fish that I bought to replace the other one died a week later.
so concluding RIP Jackie O'Conner (yes, she actually named her fish that)
A Horrifying Find
My sister's cat died during the night a couple days ago, and I'm the one who found her in the morning. I lied to my sister about how I found her. I said she was lying on the ground and possibly had a heart attack (which would explain her eyes being wide open, I couldn't close them).
I actually found her trapped, under the dining table, hanging between two chairs with her front legs, with her head back. She must have fallen and couldn't free herself (she didn't have good control of her claws anymore). She looked like Jesus on the cross, completely stiff from rigor mortis. I was f-cking horrified and still can't get the image out of my head. It hurts me so much to know that her last moments were of suffering. I now can't ever tell my sister how it really happened.
Edit: To slightly soften the story, she was a very old cat, about to turn 20 years old. What was unbelievable was that it was on the morning of the day we had booked a vet appointment to put her to sleep. My sister actually feels relief that she died 'naturally' rather than being taken to a strange place she didn't know. I can't share the same sentiment, sadly, but I'm just relieved that she is relieved.
Unable To Complete A Last Request
I have a relative who committed suicide, and next to their note, they left a small stack of things they wanted to be buried with. Several days after the funeral, the director of the funeral home called my mom and let her know that sadly, the items my relative wanted to be buried with did not get put in the coffin.
It happens sometimes, and he told mom that they try to contact the family member who seems least likely to lose their sh-t over it. I'm paraphrasing of course, but my mom was the perfect person; the woman is unflappable. Mom went up to the funeral home and they returned the items to her.
She told me the story once, and that nobody in the family knew, but that she wanted me to know where the items were in case she passed before she found an appropriate time to give the items to my relative's kids (it was some photographs of my relative with family and friends, and then a wedding ring).
The kids were very young so it wasn't appropriate for her to give it to them at the time. It's been well over 20 years, and I don't think she has ever passed the things on. We have never discussed it again, and I haven't ever told anyone. One day I am sure I'll have to have that conversation with one or both of my relative's kids, but until then, this is the only time I've said anything about it.
Two People Stuck In A Trap
That my mother was abusive to me as a kid. I kept it for 22 years. I told my dad a few months back. I told him in anger because I blamed him for letting it happen.
He truly didn't know the extent, she kept it well hidden.
He then explained to me that he tried to protect me from her and he did when he was around. He told me he'd been in an abusive relationship with her. She separated him from every friend and family member he had. She took his entire paycheck and wouldn't let him have a card.
She told him he couldn't leave her because she'd never allow him to see me again.
My dads not perfect and he left me in dangerous situations but he tried at least. And now both of our 20+ year secrets are out to each other.
The Most Heinous Crime...For A 7 Year-Old
I loaned a bunch of books from the Library in 2001 (as a 7 year old). Found them in my room 3 years later. My 10 year old mind was convinced the cops would come looking for me cause of it so I neatly disposed of the books in a manner that will ensure they'll never be found again.
Unless someone cleans up the basement... well, time to visit my parents.
A Ticking Deadline
The most recent one. I dropped out of university 3 months ago and my parents don't know... I'm planning on moving out in 2/3 weeks because that's how long I have before everything comes out (probably, if I don't make something else up)... I'm at square zero on my plan to move but honestly I can't live here anymore.
I'm 'the smart one' so they wouldn't guess I'd actually drop out despite it being overwhelmingly obvious... It was a pretty drastic decision, but I don't regret it... I do have a few options on how to move my plan forward in such a short time, and I do have some pretty drastic measures too, but the end goal is clear and I'll get there, no matter what... Wish me luck
Keeping The End At Bay
I've been suicidal for most of my life - starting from when I began to develop OCD as a child.
The feeling has not gone away since and I'm now 22. The only people who know this about me are the few counsellors I have seen - not a single family member or friend because I know they will overreact.
Dad Doesn't Need To Know Right Now
That I knew my mom was having an affair when I was 11. My dad found out a year later and they got a divorce but I acted like I was shocked. I'm 23 now and only came clean last year
A Family Member Out Of The Blue
My 2 cousins have a brother somewhere. My aunt had gotten pregnant before she married my uncle and gave the baby up for adoption.
I've never mentioned it to anyone until now, so it's been almost 20 years.
Turns Out You Can Pick Your Family
I've never told anyone outside of my family about my dad. I told all my friends that my stepdad was actually my real dad, when my real dad lives on the other side of the planet (I moved countries when I was a kid, and have only really seen my dad once since then).
My real dad was an actual piece of sh-t, he abused and manipulated, both me, my mother and all four of my brothers, and would lash out all the time through a drunken rage. And so, when my mum remarried, my steep-dad became a real father to me, and so I always just called him by my dad. It's probably not the biggest secret, but its something I have just never really told people.
A Lie For The Years
I had once told my friend in the 7th grade I had a girlfriend and it went on until the 10th grade when I actually got a girlfriend. All my friends were 'pleased' to meet her finally.
A Bonding Experience?
My ex admitted to me that he watched porn with his mom as an adult. They would watch porn when they were bored, in the living room, while his father/her husband slept upstairs.
I was mortified. I asked him if he felt any way about it, and he said he thought it was funny. Not funny as in disturbing. But "hahaha" funny. He thought I was weird for finding it weird.
I broke up with him shortly after that for this reason, but never told anyone about it until now.
No, No, I Promise! I Was Cleaning It!
This is not as serious as the other stories I've seen so far but it is one of my most closely guarded secrets. I currently have a deep scar on my left index finger, it has been there since middle School when I was messing around with a knife and a sweet potato. My mindset was, "if I lightly chop the sweet potato while holding it with my unprotected hand, nothing bad could happen."
Lo and behold, I was rushed to the E.R. with a cut so deep, I legitimately thought I almost amputated the finger. The circumstances behind this were so embarrassing, I quickly made up a story about me cleaning the knife and the knife slipping and slicing my finger. To this day, I still tell my family that it was a knife cleaning accident.
How Do You Go To Reunions?
My sister told me a few years ago that she and our cousin had a sexual relationship that started when they were in their 20s and continued on and off for years. In that time they both married other people who never suspected a thing because, you know: cousins.
This was not a cousin she met in adulthood and didn't feel related to. We grew up seeing him and his family once or twice a year.
Ratted Out By The Mom
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I was touring Australia for six months with my girl friend Jan who's twin sister had lost her son to cot death a few months before we left. Jan was devastated but still really wanted to go to Oz with me. Her twin sis had given birth to a second son about three months after the death and when we left for down under the boy was about three months old and a big focus of love for everyone after the shock of the cot death.
Every week Jan would ring home and talk to her mother. At the end of the second week the mother asked to speak to me. This was unusual. We did not have much to say to each other normally so I was surprised. It turns out she wanted me to know the second son had been diagnosed with Leukemia, but whatever happened I should not tell Jan as it would spoil her holiday.
She was right that it would devastate Jan and that she would want to leave at once, and to be honest there was nothing she could have done even had she returned.
So I sat on this awful news for nearly six months. To make it worse her mother told her on our return that I knew about the diagnosis from the start, so it was one of those circumstances where you can never win.
We're Less Related Than You Think
My "half brother" isn't actually related to me at all. Because my dad's ex wife cheated on him and got pregnant. Everyone knows but my half brother.
Wrongfully Framed
My house was raided for child pornography.
Agents came through, searched every room, collected every storage device and questioned me. I promptly said I would not talk without a lawyer.
My wife was bawling, I told her to not talk without a lawyer. After an about four hours all of the agents left with every electronic device. Then they handed me the warrant.
Apparently my IP address was detected.
After counseling and a lot of communication my wife and I agreed to not tell anyone about this. Not family, not friends, no one. We moved from the house because it just made us uneasy being there.
After THREE years of fighting with the agency we finally got all of our devices back. The devices they took were the only copies of all of our photos, so it was one of the happiest days ever. It turns out one of our neighbors was using our WiFi (which had an easy 8 letter lower case password). Once they didn't find anything on our devices they did a search of the neighbor.
TLDR - use a good WiFi password or bad sh-t can happen
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...