Secrets are heavy. Holding a problem or discomfort inside seems to have its own extra dose of gravity. It feels lonely and usually, the best and only way to lighten that load is to get out.
We tell someone we trust the secret and we feel a little less lonely, and suddenly it doesn't all seem so heavy on our shoulders anymore.
But we must choose that recipient wisely.
After all, a secret is heavy because it is so inundated with that defining characteristic: if the wrong people heard it, interpersonal strife would erupt.
So we have to choose somebody air tight. If we choose wrong and they have loose lips, the blow up after they spill the beans will make the pain of holding it in look like chump change in comparison.
Some folks on the internet were unfortunately well acquainted with how it goes when the wrong choice is made.
Talking Shop Takes a Turn
"Talking sh** to a co-worker about how the job can be boring sometimes and the next day boss calls asking if I'm happy at the job. Learned my lesson." -- Zero1030
"Yeah, lesson learned here."
"Really gotta watch what you say and choose the wording you use very carefully in the workplace. It's sad that companies are this way, you give honest feedback about a job in passing or in a survey and now they have a reason to look at you differently..."
"Gotta love Corporate America tho." -- Jay_Heinz
"Told my former best friend I was doubting whether I was straight or not."
"Fast forward two years where i'm in a position of use to her, she literally said 'if you don't do this thing for me I will tell everyone you are secretly gay.'"
"Needless to say I blocked the number and told my friends that she might tell them i'm gay."
Absolutely Not Therapeutic
"My parents divorced and I was sent to mandatory therapy. I was told that it would be a confidential thing (and there were no red flags about me, etc, it was just the part of the usual procedure)."
"The therapist told the court and my parents literally everything I ever told her, I obviously get into huge trouble with my dad. I have major trust issues since then."
"I told my dad when I was 17 that I wish I weren't gonna turn 18 because then I knew my aunt could use any excuse to kick me out."
"Him and my aunt's boyfriend got into a argument while he was drunk and he turns to me and was like 'Tell them what you told me the other day!' Then storms off somewhere."
"Was interrogated into telling them what I told dad. My aunt reassured that they wouldn't kick me out when I'm 18 and blah blah."
"Anyways, guess who got threatened to be kicked out a few weeks after turning 18 anyways!! I just knew that she'd use it as ammo!"
Tis the Season to Ransack Your Roommate
"I told my former roommate who was an addict that I used klonopin for my anxiety disorder. I didn't have any choice in roommates btw. I went to thanksgiving at my Grandma's house came back and my room had been broken into and a couple things stolen."
"They went through my top drawer of my dresser where I kept my medications, looking for my klonopin. Luckily I had taken everything valuable with me to my Grandma's, but I'll never tell another person about my medication."
"When I was in 3rd or 4th grade I had a huge crush on this girl in my class. It was the first time I had felt like that and told my parents."
"They teased me about and made it into a big joke (I can still hear my mom saying the girls name in an exaggerated sing-song voice). I never spoke to them about anything like that ever again."
"To this day I still subconsciously associate those feelings with shame, and as such struggle to express or deal with them. And my mom wonders why she doesn't have grand kids lol"
A Loose Interpretation
"I started a new job in a call centre and the group I started with had to do these team building games and one of them was to learn 3 interesting things about the person next to you."
"I can't remember what I told him for the first two of them but I remember telling the guy that my gf at the time had a blackbelt in a martial art. Pretty innocuous stuff, usual ice breaking games."
"When the trainer got to him, he said the first two fine, and then announced to this group of future colleagues, that my gf beats me up. Domestic abuse is not funny, but my friends had made that joke before. This guy was a complete stranger. The whole room were complete strangers."
"It was then I knew, before anyone else, that you don't confide in this guy. I learned it then and there, some of my colleagues learned the same lesson much later and with much worse consequences."
For the Likes
"She was a YouTuber."
"When our friendship ended (you know, because all youtubers and narcissistic a**holes that'll do anything for attention) she made a video about my childhood trauma as if she was some kind of saint that had a friend with PTSD that she selflessly befriended regardless of how unstable they were..."
"...even though I was the only one with a job that supported a family while being in a long term relationship."
D & D Disapproval
"Told a friend of mine about how I was getting into D&D, but that my mom hated it and I was scared of her finding out. We had her over on Christmas day and she spilled the beans loudly and without a hint of shame."
"I had to have a chat with my mom, who said that wasn't even the first time this woman had told her—she'd come to my mom with the whole 'concerned friend' shtick going to tell her that she was worried this was taking over my life."
"In high school I told a friend after I'd lost my virginity, just one, but they told someone who told someone else who told the whole school."
"The next day my gf's friend called her a sl*t and refused to talk to her for ages, my gf was understandably very upset with me."
"When I was in 9th grade, I told Matt that Keith had a big mouth. Matt told Keith that I said he had a big mouth."
"Told my mom I was pregnant early on, then had a miscarriage. When I got pregnant again, I waited until I was 12ish weeks to tell her. She assumed I was telling her super early again and basically said I shouldn't tell anyone because 'Look what happened last time.'"
"The one person I should be able to trust cruelly threw my miscarriage in my face during what should have been a happy moment."
"Lesson learned: I'm never telling her anything ever again."
"There was a teacher I thought I could trust in middle school because she seemed like a cool adult, so in a random conversation I told her I liked anime, or that I was watching an anime or something (this was about 15 years ago, I don't remember exactly)."
"Next day I was called over to the student counselor and reprimanded because apparently she told them I had been staying up late watching satanic cartoons or some sh**."
"I know it sounds stupid, but that made me loose a lot of confidence trusting other people."
"I told someone why a guy they were weirdly interested in was dangerous."
"They told their partner, who told a person who they wanted to get with who told the person it was about."
"They spent half an hour grilling me about it."
"At night. By a river in the woods. Alone."
"Heard a person use our private conversation as an example in a public speech. He didn't mention my name, but it doesn't matter."
"A private conversation is private, not something you quote without even asking. Now I feel like I can't trust him at all anymore and never should have told him anything at all."
Leave the Human Body Out of It
"I have a cousin my same age and and we were close growing up but grew apart when she got engaged. I mentioned my endometriosis to her and expressed concerns."
"A few days later he fiance asked about it."
"Super uncomfortable conversation I was like??? Don't tell this guy that I barely know about the status of my reproductive organs."
Some Parting Wisdom
"One thing you have to watch out for: if someone talks badly about someone to you, what's to say they won't talk badly about you to someone else?"
"I'm always wary of these people and they always prove me right."
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