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People Divulge The Most Disturbing Secrets They're Keeping From Their Loved Ones

*The following article contains discussion of suicide.

You know what the internet is really good at? Keeping secrets.

We super duper promise it's safe with us. No worries about it being screenshotted and shared around for randos to poke and prod at it.

No sir. Not at all...

Just in case, let's give these people the kudos they deserve for being brave enough to offer up their deepest, darkest secrets even their families don't know about.


Reddit user, Throwaway001937, wanted to know what no one else knows when they asked:

"What’s the most disturbing secret you are keeping from your friends and family?"

Before we get too serious, let's have a teeny bit of fun.

The Mystery Will Live On For Forever

"Not so much disturbing, but I absolutely never want them to find out that I am the one in the family who draws little smiley faces in random spots for everyone to find."

"Everyone always accuses each other and of course I play along, but I am the one who does it lol"- Revolutionary-Mess21

She's Got It Going On

"I banged one of my mom's friends after mowing her yard."- SD-Caller

Snitches Get Stitches

"Mom believes my dad hired a private investigator and that that's who caught her cheating on him."

"It wasn't a P.I..."

"in reality, I was the one who caught her ON video and completely by chance"

"She'd come for blood if she was ever told the truth"- litken_chitle

Life is hard. Sometimes, it's harder for others. And sometimes it's so hard and situations so difficult you can't help but emotionally check out.

Don't Look. Don't Look.

"My second tour in Iraq we were in a nasty firefight when I felt something wet hit the side of my face."

"I knew the guy next to me had been killed but I was a little too busy to do anything about it."

"After it was done the corpsman came running over making sure I was ok, and I thought it was because I was covered in the guy's blood."

"Turns out one of the guy's eyes was basically dangling on the side of my helmet."- GlobeAnchor2004

Just So Very Tired

"My friends and family don't use reddit, so no throwaway necessary."

"Sometimes, I am passively suicidal."

"I am so f-cking tired of being alive, but I don't want to kill myself."

"1). I'm afraid of what happens or doesn't happen after you die."

"2). I don't want to hurt them like that, even if I am in a lot of pain."

"3). There's still some things I want to do, even though I do feel f-cking worthless/ugly/exhausted."

"As you can imagine I don't really have anyone to talk about it with, and I don't want to worry the people I love."

"It's a battle sometimes."- Darth_Titty-ous

Nothing Beyond Tomorrow

"I can’t imagine the future."

"People ask me what my plans are and I just don’t know."

"I have no chance of making plans."

"There’s just no vision or hope or amount of wishing hard enough to try and plan or predict my own future."-Firestar-

Whatever your reasons are for not telling your family, we give you all the credit in the world for being honest here today.

Wishing For The End

"I have stage 4 breast cancer and a prognosis of stable."

"I could be here for years and years, doing my treatment and living my life."

"Not secret."

"I don't want to be a cancer patient for years and years."

"My treatment sucks and it makes me feel sick every day."

"My brain sucks due to chemo."

"There are some real cognitive difficulties."

" I had to give up a career I loved."

"I'm entry level call center from home now."

"I've been home, not going out to fun places, since March of 2020, because my immune system sucks."

"It's worth the risk to go to the doctor or my son's parent teacher conference, but not the bar."

"My secret is that every time I make a wish, I wish for the cancer to kill me faster."

"This existence, feeling like garbage and doing my call center thing so I can afford to feel like garbage, is disheartening and it sucks."

"I'm in therapy and an exercise program and I have hobbies, I'm doing what I can to keep slogging along, but damn."

"The 'I don't wanna' is strong sometimes."- insertcaffeine

Acting Out From A Past Experience

"When i was around 9-10 i did really bad things to my younger brother and i can’t remember much of it but it was sexual, nothing below the waist."

"I still feel bad and I’m pretty sure me then thought it was okay because the same thing happened to me with someone older but it wasn’t and I always feel guilty anytime I remember."

"I don’t know if my brother remembers or not, but the trauma I caused makes me want to kms because I can’t comprehend how i could do anything like that now."

"I just needed to let it out."- Avacado_toast23

When he refuses to let me go.

"I hope my ex gets what he f*cking deserves."

"I've moved on from his abused years ago, and engaged to someone who's literally the guy of my dreams."

"But there are days when I hope my ex's present girl would know that he keeps on stalking me."

"Or better yet, I hope someone hurt him as much as he hurted me."

"Because, he doesn't deserve the peace he's experiencing now."- LaLunaChan

An illicit discovery

"When I was 7, my family and my cousins, he was 6, she was 5, went on a vacation to this cool house by the lake."

"It was pretty big and we found out there was a locked basement, so naturally the curiosity led us to finding a bunch of keys in a drawer."

"Tried like 20 or 30 of them and suddenly one worked."

"We were looking through some boxes and found kamasutra books."

"We were intrigued by pictures in there and decided to try and 'pose' in the same way."

"I am 22 now, never spoke to them about that, I hope they don't remember."- yachuuuuuu

I just can't fight the urge

"I have been vaping constantly for about a year and a half and I am currently trying to quit."

"No body else other then the people I used to vape with know."- emjaveee

A dark childhood

"There are a few."

"When I was a kid there were 3 kids that lived in the same neighborhood as me."

"I had a crush on one of them and the other 2 weren't friends."

"I decided to write down what I hated about each of them and said things like 'jimmy thinks he is cool but he isn't he is actually stupid' and just scrawl you'd expect from a 4th grade kid."

"I randomly took the dog for a walk, which I rarely did being the lazy little sh*t I was, and dropped the notes in the letterboxes of these kids houses, I have no idea if they ever read them."

"But I can only hope their parents got to them first."

"At that age i used to do a lot of drawing and it usually involved violence and death, for example alien invasions where people were dead or aliens were dead too."

"It was all 2D and not that detailed."

"I didn't possess the talent required."

My teacher said '<name> should start drawing nicer things, but they are very detailed'."

"I also wrote sarcastic comments underneath her grades she gave me on homework."

"I used to call her names and say 'why isn't this good enough?'"

" When I got caught I was silent."

"My mum told me it was bad."

"I used to talk a religious teacher at my school and talk to him about porn and masturbation."

"He never abused me."

"But he was a manipulative old man because rather than do the honest thing and say 'This is too much' and tell my parents, he went along with it thinking he was doing gods work."

"Even one time, I ratted out on my mum who said I was acting like a d*ckhead and he rang her up and told her not to do that."

"Religion poisons everything."- jo_concerned

Groominng

"That a cousin, that is at least 7 years older than I (27 M[ale]) am, got me to touch her inappropriately when I was probably around the ages of 5-6."

"To be fair, for years I thought I had just had a dream where my cousin had me go upstairs to her room and 'play doctor', where she made me touch her."

"After telling my wife and roommate they told me I probably thought it was a dream cause I couldn’t fully comprehend all that at that age."

"I still like that cousin and that’s part of the reason I haven’t told my family."

"I do think though that may be the reason I have some mental issues including an issue with being overly sexual from a young age until now."

"I’m also afraid that it was all a dream that my f*cked up brain came up with and that I would look like the biggest creepy big I brought it up."- AshamedLoan836

DIdn't cry at their funeral

"When my school bully died a few months ago, I was happy."

"People always say I’m kind, bubbly, smart, honest, hardworking."

"But I’m ashamed to say it."

"I even had intrusive thoughts about after and to be honest, it was the one time I wasn’t bothered by them."- kiwimadi

Saved by a truly great friend.

"That after my dad went to prison for molesting and beating me, and my mom kicked me out of the house because she 'didn't want to be a mom anymore', I lived under a bridge while trying to finish high school."

"My mom's side of the family (affluent) disowned me because the situation was 'trailer trash', and my Dad's side disowned me because they believed my dad was thrown into prison for my 'lies'."

"I decided to commit suicide, and set aside a plan to OD and go into the woods by the bridge, and bury myself before I'd lose consciousness."

"I chose that because I knew my mom would be angry about shelling out money for my funeral, it wouldn't bother her about me not being here anymore."

"So I wanted to just take that financial burden from her."

"I'd already be buried so no point in a casket."

"I really didn't have anything to keep me here anymore."

"My short life had been full of so much pain, and I didn't want to see if there was any more waiting for me."

"What stopped me was I confided in my best friend about my living conditions, after it became obvious that I hadn't eaten in days, she shared her school lunch with me every day without making me feel bad about it."

"Later that day, my best friend came to the bridge I was at, with her Mom, and they took me home with them."

"I lived with them 'til I finished high school and got my own apartment."

"Life got better after that."

"I now am married with 2 children of my own, and am really happy I stayed in this world.

"I will forever be grateful for my best friend's family, and still see them til this day as the only real family I've ever had."- smeaglebeagle39

Hiding literal pain

"I started cutting again."

"They might notice from the scars, but didn't say anything."

"But honestly, the urge is so bad that I keep on feeling like I did not cut deep enough."

"I have no intent to kill myself, but lately I'm questioning whether or not I have the intent."

"Because how I'm functioning, is as if I do have it, but my brain says no."- SpicedDick

Cardinal Sin

"I am having a relationship with a Catholic priest for almost a year now."- grabtheapplepie

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/


People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.