I know that so many of ya'll love the chili at a certain fast food restaurant that rhymes with Bendy's, but that stuff's not fresh, okay.
Sorry to burst your bubble. It's a dark, dark secret I've carried inside me for over a decade.
After Redditor Themanfromjapan420 asked the online community, "What is your job keeping secret from customers?" people lined up to share some secrets of their own.
We are all such fools!
"Unbaked"
there's a popular overpriced deli/bakery, also part of a chain, in the rich area near where i live. people always say how "fresh" everything is, how "talented" the bakers are. i always thought their baked goods were dry af but i hadn't been there in years and was looking for a specific cake i knew they had. they accept custom orders but when i was ordering they said they couldn't put vanilla frosting on a chocolate cake???
I kept asking why and the worker kept dodging with a vague "we can't." quickly realized nothing they "bake" is actually made there and that's why their it's so damn dry it's nearly stale. no clue how the hell so many people think there's anything more than a massive fridge in their "kitchen" or why this place is so popular.
"Just Normal"
Giphy
I work for a printing company. The amount of jobs that we print that say "printed on recycled paper" and it is just normal paper is astronomical.
"Come on In"
We all know you are high/screwed on some drug. We don't just don't care if you can behave.
Nightclub owner.
If anything, I imagine it's good for business because f*cked up people aren't paying attention to the rate at which they're annihilating money.
"Serving 2%"
I worked at an incredibly under stocked coffee shop once. If someone asked for whole milk I was told by management to tell them we had it, then serve them 2%. Then one day I served a milk farmer. I've never been called out on my crap as fast as the damn milk man himself.
"All the Same"
Our residential and commercial model are the same thing just marketed and priced differently.
But when a person asks what the difference is, we get told to just pull crap out of our butt.
"stronger cooling fans, better waterproofing, stronger locks, better dust filters"
I basically just name all the features and say they're better... 😅
That's disgusting and will probably just surprise them.
"Security"
Giphy
I work in a Hotel, and at least in this Hotel our security is crap. I don't wear any id or uniform that proves that I'm actually an employee and can go in and out everytime i want to. So, that means that ANYONE can come and get in the hotel without problem at ANY TIME.
"Phone Plans"
Phone plans are significantly less expensive that what we quote you a lot of the time. TPR wants us to sell you as much literal useless junk as possible that you would not ever agree to paying for, so they make us bundle it in so you don't even think about it. It's pretty shady, but I also got a kid to feed, definitely still searching for better.
"Bubbles"
Giphy
There's actually no difference between a $300 champagne room and a $150 private dance. We're supposed to say it's more private etc, but it's the exact same just with a different price tag.
"The Dealership"
I used to work as a mechanic in a dealership. Women would accuse us of taking advantage of them constantly. Truth is, if a woman would come in for a problem and we caught another, if we could just fix it, we would and the customer would be none the wiser. In fact, if there was a problem we could correct without a part or a great deal of time, we just did regardless.
"Hotel Visit"
I used to be an in city truck driver. And id often deliver to hotels. You can pretty much just walk freely through most hotels, even in the kitchens and back rooms. There's actually lot of places you can just walk freely through, even just in street clothes. If you act like you belong, no one stops you. Sometimes if i had to take my lunch break at a delivery, id throw a flannel shirt over my work shirt and then a safety vest and just walk around with a clipboard in my hand. I got to see a lot of cool places and only got stopped once.
"Trashed"
I worked for a grocery store who made a big song and dance about their "new green initiatives" and had large recycling bins in all our departments, assuring the customers that we were doing awesome!
Then at the end of the night we would just chuck everything in the trash compactor.
"Moving Parts"
Giphy
I work in manufacturing and we make parts for companies like Ford, GM, Mercedes etc. Not gonna lie after working in this career I'm surprised most people's car parts and just falling apart with the amount of crap we know that's wrong but we need to meet orders so we send it out anyways.
"Pay Out"
I work for an insurance company so we kind of have to be honest with our customers. But there are a lot of times when claims don't get paid due to an internal issue. You can't just say there's an unfixable problem with the system and that you don't know how long it'll take to get fixed. All we can say is that it's been looked at and should be fixed soon.
"I loved working in geriatrics"
I worked in a long term care home.... I loved working in geriatrics, I still do. I no longer work at this home.... Residents paid $84.00 a day to live in a home that was A) right across from a hospital but the nurses didn't want to send them because they didn't want to pay an ambulance fee. A man died of a brain aneurysm when he was showing symptoms of distress but didn't want to pay for the ambulance that drove them across the street B) if they were short staffed they would serve meals on styrofoam plates because they didn't want to stay late or leave dishes for the next day C) Last straw (then I quit) there was a power outage within this two story facility.... all locked doors opened.... all lights shut off, all elevators stopped working because there was NO backup generator....
I 10000% called the ministry of health and safety to let them know and they told me there were so many violations.... one hour and thirty minutes of discussing this hell hole I'll never get back. PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU SEND YOUR LOVE ONES 💗 PS I do cognitive support with seniors now within an amazing home!
"Shotty Work"
I work in reliability. It's my job to be aware of exactly how sh*tty our suppliers are, and how many end user failures we can expect because of it (there's always an acceptable amount of failures).
So it's okay that your manufacturing is crappy. If companies wanted higher quality manufacturing, they would pay more for it (but they don't, always cutting costs).
"Lost $$$"
Giphy
My boss makes ZERO profit from tobacco/JUUL. If we under order from our distributor and need to get cartons from someplace else, he LOSES money. When we increase our price it's to satisfy the state minimum. He sells tobacco and milk at zero or negative profit so you walk in the door, counting on you to buy other items at 150-200% markup because you're already in there. Milk and tobacco sell themselves, and 50-75% of our customer base buys more than just those two items.
"Fraud"
I worked for Fortune 500 company where my manager deliberately charged customers for hours I didn't work.
Indeed that is good ole' fraud.
"repacking"
Used to work at a private liquor store. We used to spend evenings of beer order days "repacking" the beer using a manual machine of sorts that made both 6 and 8 packs. The rings would come on a big perforated spindle that could be separated with ease after each pair of rings. It was possible to buy 6 packs, but the company saved so much money buying extra 24/36/48 packs for staff to break down into smaller packs.
"All for the $$$"
Giphy
In a lot of cases you can get a college degree for way less than most Universities try to charge. This doesn't really apply to careers where certain prestige or accreditations are required. But in a lot of cases state colleges and even guidance counselors at high schools condition kids or even some adults into thinking that they need to spend a fortune on 4 years at one school to get a degree. The guidance counselors do it because the more of the students go on to a 4 year school, the better the HS looks. The colleges do it because $$$$$$.
"Up in the Air"
Flight attendant.
It is part of my UNIFORM that I carry paperclips 'in case the flap that releases masks doesn't open'. (meaning I could die). It's good to know that the plane that houses 300 passengers is so poorly built that their life could depend on a paper clip that they don't even carry.
"Choke Out"
I worked at a pet store where the grooming salon killed someone's dog. The groomer put it in a hold to clip its nails and choked the dog out. Two workers walked by and commented about how they didn't think it was a good way to restrain the dog.
The general manager told the owner the dog had a stroke. No one was supposed to talk about it. The poor girl tried to give the dog CPR, which was against company policy. She quit shortly after.
"Be Polite"
We hate when customers change their minds on products and leave them scattered at the front end instead of letting us know and hand it to us. We don't mind if you change your mind we just get annoyed that people are too afraid to ask. Its not the end of the world that they don't want a basket or a case of soda.
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"Members Not Only"
You don't actually need to be a member to get in.
I know at Sam's Club, you don't necessarily need a membership to come inside. But you do need a membership card to actually purchase anything.
"Third Party Issues"
I work for a worker's comp third party administrator, so while not an adjuster we're the middleman for the adjuster and most injured workers don't really know the difference. It doesn't bring me any joy to tell people they're denied or tell them their authorization is still pending after 3 weeks.
Some of that comes down to crappy or unresponsive adjusters, but the biggest issue is usually the doctors.
I have to explain multiple times a day to patients that we would be happy to approve their medical treatment, but everything is on hold because the referring physician didn't: fill out the form, filled out the wrong form, left required areas blank, put the wrong body part/diagnosis (this happens with alarming frequency), didn't sign it, didn't specify a quantity for something, didn't submit supporting medical notes, and refuses to answer our calls, our fax requests, our emails, the adjuster's calls and emails, their employer's calls, and the bat signal we sent up.
"System is Updating."
When someone in IT screws up a software system and we need to get it running again, we just put up a message on the login screen that says:
System is Updating.
That sounds much better than:
The IT guy screwed up, so your system that you pay monthly fees for is down. We are scrambling to fix it.
"shouldn't you be shocking them?!"
Giphy
Contrary to popular belief, you CANNOT, I repeat, you CANNOT defibrillate someone who has flat lined. Those are only used to regulate abnormal rhythms such as ventricular fibrillation. If someone has flatlined, you do compressions and push drugs to help get some form of pulse back.
Source: was an EMT, now medical student. You'll be surprised how many people ask "shouldn't you be shocking them?!"
"Yelped"
Despite being the 2018 #1 Restaurant on Yelp, they heat up their meat for their sandwiches & cook eggs inside a microwave. Glad I don't work there anymore. The family isn't as nice & friendly as they portray themselves on social media.
"Wino"
Giphy
I'm a bar back at a winery, if we say we're out of a particular wine, we're not, there's like 15 boxes of it in the basement.
"basic borders"
Back when I worked at Borders they told us if we suspected someone was shoplifting that we should approach them and ask if they needed help finding anything. It was supposed to make them think twice about stealing and maybe put back what they were taking since it made them feel like they were gonna get busted.
"Climb Every Shelf"
Sometimes the load of new merchandise completely blocks access to the backstock shelves. It takes time to work through the load and get it all onto the sales floor/on the backstock shelves.
If that is the case, and you ask "if we have any more in the back", the answer will be no - even if we actually do have your item in backstock.
No one is going to climb through the load to find what you're asking for. Come back on a different day and see if it's on the shelf then.
"Gagging"
Back when i worked in a deli at a very well known grocery/retail store all across america i found the most hideous displays of food safety violations. This included a tub filled with chicken water (bits of cooked chicken and grease that came off racks that were soaked in water) that hadn't been changed in over 4 months. The smell alone almost knocked me out while i hard core gagged. This was where we stored racks to cook rotisserie chickens on without cleaning the racks before we reused them.
Showed my manager and she said she was "working on it". Cue this for another few months (me asking whenever i saw her to tell me how to fix it) and she was always "working on it" and "don't worry". I quit due to that and many other violations that weren't being fixed and moved to another retail/grocery chain located in the midwest. Much cleaner deli.
"won't sell kittens or puppies"
Giphy
The cats at our store might be from reputable rescues, but the hamsters/lizards/etc we sell sure as sh!t come from animal mills.
Kind of screwed up for a business that spouts how wonderful they are because they "won't sell kittens or puppies" because of the issue with mills.
"Dumpster Queen"
I work for a Dairy Queen and well it's not as bad as some other places but well if you liked fast food you wouldn't after seeing what goes on in that kitchen. I've seen just about everything food that's been dropped on the floor be served, sour milk in one of the machines, lettuce soooo old it turned into a soup, dumping of fry grease into the dumpster.
"The Menu Lies"
I worked for a fancy country club who bought their food from Walmart. I also saw frozen stuff like Stouffers lasagna. A LOT of stuff wasn't fresh at all. A lot of stuff was made, then frozen and then reheated later. I bet if the members found out they'd be freaking pissed!
"filth"
Giphy
We only clean the restrooms on Mondays... It's a school... But small and it's cleaned well I promise don't worry I definitely do my job well.
"1 accident at a time"
Fast food: We drop crap on the floor all the time. The pizza box, a chicken wing, the hot pan grabber. It all just gets picked up, put into the fryer for a moment, or run under the faucet for a second and put right back into use. Diversifying microbiomes 1 accident at a time.
"I worked at a deli/coffee shop..."
I worked at a deli/coffee shop that was part of a local chain. Most of the baked goods arrive frozen and half-baked, and half the soup is day-old.
"I worked in the infant room..."
I worked in the infant room at a day care and I saw so many kids take their first steps. We were supposed to lie through our teeth about this. We would tell the parents their kids were getting close and to keep the camera ready.
We had a new girl who refused to lie about this and allowed a little girl to walk to her mom at pick up. I saw that mom weeping in the parking lot when my shift ended a few minutes later.
A lot of parents deal with a lot of guilt over putting their kids in daycare. If the parents feel like they're missing important milestones it can be really hard. So we just let them have it.
"I've worked at..."
Giphy
I've worked at two different restaurants that advertised "fresh squeezed orange juice" on the menu, but it was really Minute Maid from a dispenser.
"Back when I worked..."
Back when I worked for a rather popular clothing store, here in the UK. Customers would come into the store on Christmas Eve and ask if the items they wanted to buy would be cheaper in the boxing day sales. We had to say we didn't know, and wouldn't know until head office sends us the price lists after the store closes on Christmas eve.
The truth is, we knew a week in advance what the sale prices would be. We could even check the sale prices whenever we wanted. In fact, when you ask a member of staff to check if they have other sizes im stock, they would scan the barcode on the shop floor. Using a handheld scanner to check the stock they had in the store room.
Right there on that scanner, they have the current price, future sale prices, and any promotional offers on that item. As well as a list of every available size the item comes in and how much stock they have.
Management would tell us to keep future sale prices secret so the store could reach monetary sales targets.
"I used to work..."
I used to work at a well known pizza place and most of the time I worked in the back answering phones and washing dishes and every time I made a order we always add coupons just to be nice even if they're being a big pain. We would add one or two coupons.
"Retail here."
Retail here. At least at the company I work for (and to the extent of my knowledge), nothing.
From my vantage point, customers inexplicably think we're hiding something, when we're actually not.
"The same store..."
Giphy
I used to have a small side job at a billion dollar chain grocery store. Every few hours they would say "Attention associates, recycling is now open" over the loudspeaker. There was no recycling. It just meant someone had the door to the outside trash cans open.
The same store also hourly played a recording of 2 separate voices saying "Security, please check section 3" over the loudspeaker. There was no security.
"We know..."
Worked at a dentist for a few years. We know when you've completely neglected your oral hygiene for the past six months and tried to fool us by flossing five minutes before you walk in the door. We might not say it, but we know.
"Ask for an employee..."
Ask for an employee to run an analysis of your wireless phone bill. Ended up saving my parents $45 a month.
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?
Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
Forward
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
- NiTlo
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
Shame...
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
Look Within
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
- supnseop
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
- allovia
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
- supnseop
The Appeal...
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
35
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
Post University...
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
Skills
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
Connections
Dont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
Cheers...
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Doggy” style…
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guy
Channel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.
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