I know that so many of ya'll love the chili at a certain fast food restaurant that rhymes with Bendy's, but that stuff's not fresh, okay.
Sorry to burst your bubble. It's a dark, dark secret I've carried inside me for over a decade.
After Redditor Themanfromjapan420 asked the online community, "What is your job keeping secret from customers?" people lined up to share some secrets of their own.
We are all such fools!
there's a popular overpriced deli/bakery, also part of a chain, in the rich area near where i live. people always say how "fresh" everything is, how "talented" the bakers are. i always thought their baked goods were dry af but i hadn't been there in years and was looking for a specific cake i knew they had. they accept custom orders but when i was ordering they said they couldn't put vanilla frosting on a chocolate cake???
I kept asking why and the worker kept dodging with a vague "we can't." quickly realized nothing they "bake" is actually made there and that's why their it's so damn dry it's nearly stale. no clue how the hell so many people think there's anything more than a massive fridge in their "kitchen" or why this place is so popular.
I work for a printing company. The amount of jobs that we print that say "printed on recycled paper" and it is just normal paper is astronomical.
"Come on In"
We all know you are high/screwed on some drug. We don't just don't care if you can behave.
If anything, I imagine it's good for business because f*cked up people aren't paying attention to the rate at which they're annihilating money.
I worked at an incredibly under stocked coffee shop once. If someone asked for whole milk I was told by management to tell them we had it, then serve them 2%. Then one day I served a milk farmer. I've never been called out on my crap as fast as the damn milk man himself.
"All the Same"
Our residential and commercial model are the same thing just marketed and priced differently.
But when a person asks what the difference is, we get told to just pull crap out of our butt.
"stronger cooling fans, better waterproofing, stronger locks, better dust filters"
I basically just name all the features and say they're better... 😅
That's disgusting and will probably just surprise them.
I work in a Hotel, and at least in this Hotel our security is crap. I don't wear any id or uniform that proves that I'm actually an employee and can go in and out everytime i want to. So, that means that ANYONE can come and get in the hotel without problem at ANY TIME.
Phone plans are significantly less expensive that what we quote you a lot of the time. TPR wants us to sell you as much literal useless junk as possible that you would not ever agree to paying for, so they make us bundle it in so you don't even think about it. It's pretty shady, but I also got a kid to feed, definitely still searching for better.
There's actually no difference between a $300 champagne room and a $150 private dance. We're supposed to say it's more private etc, but it's the exact same just with a different price tag.
I used to work as a mechanic in a dealership. Women would accuse us of taking advantage of them constantly. Truth is, if a woman would come in for a problem and we caught another, if we could just fix it, we would and the customer would be none the wiser. In fact, if there was a problem we could correct without a part or a great deal of time, we just did regardless.
I used to be an in city truck driver. And id often deliver to hotels. You can pretty much just walk freely through most hotels, even in the kitchens and back rooms. There's actually lot of places you can just walk freely through, even just in street clothes. If you act like you belong, no one stops you. Sometimes if i had to take my lunch break at a delivery, id throw a flannel shirt over my work shirt and then a safety vest and just walk around with a clipboard in my hand. I got to see a lot of cool places and only got stopped once.
I worked for a grocery store who made a big song and dance about their "new green initiatives" and had large recycling bins in all our departments, assuring the customers that we were doing awesome!
Then at the end of the night we would just chuck everything in the trash compactor.
I work in manufacturing and we make parts for companies like Ford, GM, Mercedes etc. Not gonna lie after working in this career I'm surprised most people's car parts and just falling apart with the amount of crap we know that's wrong but we need to meet orders so we send it out anyways.
I work for an insurance company so we kind of have to be honest with our customers. But there are a lot of times when claims don't get paid due to an internal issue. You can't just say there's an unfixable problem with the system and that you don't know how long it'll take to get fixed. All we can say is that it's been looked at and should be fixed soon.
"I loved working in geriatrics"
I worked in a long term care home.... I loved working in geriatrics, I still do. I no longer work at this home.... Residents paid $84.00 a day to live in a home that was A) right across from a hospital but the nurses didn't want to send them because they didn't want to pay an ambulance fee. A man died of a brain aneurysm when he was showing symptoms of distress but didn't want to pay for the ambulance that drove them across the street B) if they were short staffed they would serve meals on styrofoam plates because they didn't want to stay late or leave dishes for the next day C) Last straw (then I quit) there was a power outage within this two story facility.... all locked doors opened.... all lights shut off, all elevators stopped working because there was NO backup generator....
I 10000% called the ministry of health and safety to let them know and they told me there were so many violations.... one hour and thirty minutes of discussing this hell hole I'll never get back. PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU SEND YOUR LOVE ONES 💗 PS I do cognitive support with seniors now within an amazing home!
I work in reliability. It's my job to be aware of exactly how sh*tty our suppliers are, and how many end user failures we can expect because of it (there's always an acceptable amount of failures).
So it's okay that your manufacturing is crappy. If companies wanted higher quality manufacturing, they would pay more for it (but they don't, always cutting costs).
My boss makes ZERO profit from tobacco/JUUL. If we under order from our distributor and need to get cartons from someplace else, he LOSES money. When we increase our price it's to satisfy the state minimum. He sells tobacco and milk at zero or negative profit so you walk in the door, counting on you to buy other items at 150-200% markup because you're already in there. Milk and tobacco sell themselves, and 50-75% of our customer base buys more than just those two items.
I worked for Fortune 500 company where my manager deliberately charged customers for hours I didn't work.
Indeed that is good ole' fraud.
Used to work at a private liquor store. We used to spend evenings of beer order days "repacking" the beer using a manual machine of sorts that made both 6 and 8 packs. The rings would come on a big perforated spindle that could be separated with ease after each pair of rings. It was possible to buy 6 packs, but the company saved so much money buying extra 24/36/48 packs for staff to break down into smaller packs.
"All for the $$$"Giphy
In a lot of cases you can get a college degree for way less than most Universities try to charge. This doesn't really apply to careers where certain prestige or accreditations are required. But in a lot of cases state colleges and even guidance counselors at high schools condition kids or even some adults into thinking that they need to spend a fortune on 4 years at one school to get a degree. The guidance counselors do it because the more of the students go on to a 4 year school, the better the HS looks. The colleges do it because $$$$$$.
"Up in the Air"
It is part of my UNIFORM that I carry paperclips 'in case the flap that releases masks doesn't open'. (meaning I could die). It's good to know that the plane that houses 300 passengers is so poorly built that their life could depend on a paper clip that they don't even carry.
I worked at a pet store where the grooming salon killed someone's dog. The groomer put it in a hold to clip its nails and choked the dog out. Two workers walked by and commented about how they didn't think it was a good way to restrain the dog.
The general manager told the owner the dog had a stroke. No one was supposed to talk about it. The poor girl tried to give the dog CPR, which was against company policy. She quit shortly after.
Our soup is not homemade and comes in a bag, I work at a high end steakhouse in NYC.
We hate when customers change their minds on products and leave them scattered at the front end instead of letting us know and hand it to us. We don't mind if you change your mind we just get annoyed that people are too afraid to ask. Its not the end of the world that they don't want a basket or a case of soda.
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"Members Not Only"
You don't actually need to be a member to get in.
I know at Sam's Club, you don't necessarily need a membership to come inside. But you do need a membership card to actually purchase anything.
"Third Party Issues"
I work for a worker's comp third party administrator, so while not an adjuster we're the middleman for the adjuster and most injured workers don't really know the difference. It doesn't bring me any joy to tell people they're denied or tell them their authorization is still pending after 3 weeks.
Some of that comes down to crappy or unresponsive adjusters, but the biggest issue is usually the doctors.
I have to explain multiple times a day to patients that we would be happy to approve their medical treatment, but everything is on hold because the referring physician didn't: fill out the form, filled out the wrong form, left required areas blank, put the wrong body part/diagnosis (this happens with alarming frequency), didn't sign it, didn't specify a quantity for something, didn't submit supporting medical notes, and refuses to answer our calls, our fax requests, our emails, the adjuster's calls and emails, their employer's calls, and the bat signal we sent up.
"System is Updating."
When someone in IT screws up a software system and we need to get it running again, we just put up a message on the login screen that says:
System is Updating.
That sounds much better than:
The IT guy screwed up, so your system that you pay monthly fees for is down. We are scrambling to fix it.
"shouldn't you be shocking them?!"Giphy
Contrary to popular belief, you CANNOT, I repeat, you CANNOT defibrillate someone who has flat lined. Those are only used to regulate abnormal rhythms such as ventricular fibrillation. If someone has flatlined, you do compressions and push drugs to help get some form of pulse back.
Source: was an EMT, now medical student. You'll be surprised how many people ask "shouldn't you be shocking them?!"
Despite being the 2018 #1 Restaurant on Yelp, they heat up their meat for their sandwiches & cook eggs inside a microwave. Glad I don't work there anymore. The family isn't as nice & friendly as they portray themselves on social media.
I'm a bar back at a winery, if we say we're out of a particular wine, we're not, there's like 15 boxes of it in the basement.
Back when I worked at Borders they told us if we suspected someone was shoplifting that we should approach them and ask if they needed help finding anything. It was supposed to make them think twice about stealing and maybe put back what they were taking since it made them feel like they were gonna get busted.
"Climb Every Shelf"
Sometimes the load of new merchandise completely blocks access to the backstock shelves. It takes time to work through the load and get it all onto the sales floor/on the backstock shelves.
If that is the case, and you ask "if we have any more in the back", the answer will be no - even if we actually do have your item in backstock.
No one is going to climb through the load to find what you're asking for. Come back on a different day and see if it's on the shelf then.
Back when i worked in a deli at a very well known grocery/retail store all across america i found the most hideous displays of food safety violations. This included a tub filled with chicken water (bits of cooked chicken and grease that came off racks that were soaked in water) that hadn't been changed in over 4 months. The smell alone almost knocked me out while i hard core gagged. This was where we stored racks to cook rotisserie chickens on without cleaning the racks before we reused them.
Showed my manager and she said she was "working on it". Cue this for another few months (me asking whenever i saw her to tell me how to fix it) and she was always "working on it" and "don't worry". I quit due to that and many other violations that weren't being fixed and moved to another retail/grocery chain located in the midwest. Much cleaner deli.
"won't sell kittens or puppies"Giphy
The cats at our store might be from reputable rescues, but the hamsters/lizards/etc we sell sure as sh!t come from animal mills.
Kind of screwed up for a business that spouts how wonderful they are because they "won't sell kittens or puppies" because of the issue with mills.
I work for a Dairy Queen and well it's not as bad as some other places but well if you liked fast food you wouldn't after seeing what goes on in that kitchen. I've seen just about everything food that's been dropped on the floor be served, sour milk in one of the machines, lettuce soooo old it turned into a soup, dumping of fry grease into the dumpster.
"The Menu Lies"
I worked for a fancy country club who bought their food from Walmart. I also saw frozen stuff like Stouffers lasagna. A LOT of stuff wasn't fresh at all. A lot of stuff was made, then frozen and then reheated later. I bet if the members found out they'd be freaking pissed!
We only clean the restrooms on Mondays... It's a school... But small and it's cleaned well I promise don't worry I definitely do my job well.
"1 accident at a time"
Fast food: We drop crap on the floor all the time. The pizza box, a chicken wing, the hot pan grabber. It all just gets picked up, put into the fryer for a moment, or run under the faucet for a second and put right back into use. Diversifying microbiomes 1 accident at a time.
"I worked at a deli/coffee shop..."
I worked at a deli/coffee shop that was part of a local chain. Most of the baked goods arrive frozen and half-baked, and half the soup is day-old.
"I worked in the infant room..."
I worked in the infant room at a day care and I saw so many kids take their first steps. We were supposed to lie through our teeth about this. We would tell the parents their kids were getting close and to keep the camera ready.
We had a new girl who refused to lie about this and allowed a little girl to walk to her mom at pick up. I saw that mom weeping in the parking lot when my shift ended a few minutes later.
A lot of parents deal with a lot of guilt over putting their kids in daycare. If the parents feel like they're missing important milestones it can be really hard. So we just let them have it.
"I've worked at..."Giphy
I've worked at two different restaurants that advertised "fresh squeezed orange juice" on the menu, but it was really Minute Maid from a dispenser.
"Back when I worked..."
Back when I worked for a rather popular clothing store, here in the UK. Customers would come into the store on Christmas Eve and ask if the items they wanted to buy would be cheaper in the boxing day sales. We had to say we didn't know, and wouldn't know until head office sends us the price lists after the store closes on Christmas eve.
The truth is, we knew a week in advance what the sale prices would be. We could even check the sale prices whenever we wanted. In fact, when you ask a member of staff to check if they have other sizes im stock, they would scan the barcode on the shop floor. Using a handheld scanner to check the stock they had in the store room.
Right there on that scanner, they have the current price, future sale prices, and any promotional offers on that item. As well as a list of every available size the item comes in and how much stock they have.
Management would tell us to keep future sale prices secret so the store could reach monetary sales targets.
"I used to work..."
I used to work at a well known pizza place and most of the time I worked in the back answering phones and washing dishes and every time I made a order we always add coupons just to be nice even if they're being a big pain. We would add one or two coupons.
"If a lawyer..."
If a lawyer drafts a document for you, they copied and pasted most of it.
Retail here. At least at the company I work for (and to the extent of my knowledge), nothing.
From my vantage point, customers inexplicably think we're hiding something, when we're actually not.
"The same store..."Giphy
I used to have a small side job at a billion dollar chain grocery store. Every few hours they would say "Attention associates, recycling is now open" over the loudspeaker. There was no recycling. It just meant someone had the door to the outside trash cans open.
The same store also hourly played a recording of 2 separate voices saying "Security, please check section 3" over the loudspeaker. There was no security.
Worked at a dentist for a few years. We know when you've completely neglected your oral hygiene for the past six months and tried to fool us by flossing five minutes before you walk in the door. We might not say it, but we know.
"Ask for an employee..."
Ask for an employee to run an analysis of your wireless phone bill. Ended up saving my parents $45 a month.
You may have heard of the phrase "retail therapy" before, which is the act of buying things for personal enjoyment.
Well, there's some truth to that.
The University of Michigan actually studied the affects of shopping on our sadness levels. Purchasing something you enjoy can actually decrease sadness 40 times better than not purchasing something.
There are tons of other benefits like dopamine increases, anxiety reduction and improved mood. We wanted to know what people are buying to give them that rush of happy hormones and increase their joy.
Redditor greyblacknavytan asked:
"What can you buy for $75 or less that will provide the most happiness?"
It might be time to start a wish list!
A sweet treat.
"The chocolate bar I’m eating right now is doing it for me. It's a Tony’s Chocolonely milk chocolate sea salt and caramel."
"$75 of Tony’s is a great use of money imo."
The amino acids in chocolate actually change our brain patterns to make us happy, so definitely a good investment.
Your neck will thank you.
"Get a nice pillow. So worth it. I got the a memory foam one from Amazon for $50. My neck is in premature heaven."
"Memory foam pillows are hit or miss. For me, they're all miss. Feels like I'm resting my head on a rock."
"I was the same way until I got a pillow that you stuff to your own firmness with shredded memory foam. It has the feel of a memory foam pillow but it's 'fluffier' if that makes sense. Add to that the customizability of the firmness and you have a perfect pillow IMHO. Just don't throw the extra stuffing away immediately, sleep on it for a while and adjust as needed."
Splurge on some nice food.
"I'm poor but not so poor that food is the main concern. What I mean is some nice cuts of meat, chanterelles, russet potatoes, cream, a nice wine and the rest for beer. I could make a meal for kings on that. It would make me so happy!"
"For sure, similarly you could even provide a meal for a group of friends for that amount which would make a group of people happy."
Invest in your hobbies.
"Invest in a hobby like good hiking boots or high quality yarn for knitting or so on. Hobbies keep you happier, healthier, and can help you make new friends."
"Good hiking boots are going to cost more than $75."
"Save money by buying just one boot."
11 years of happiness.
"I paid the Humane Society about $75 when I adopted my cat; he has thus far provided me with 11 years of affection."
For something silly.
"Googly eyes and some blue tack."
"This is my favorite first date. Just walk around sticking googly eyes to stuff together. It's always so much fun."
"Another one I really liked was leaving sweet notes in books in a bookstore."
"We took some notecards and wrote a short paragraph or two about a favorite book. What we'd enjoyed about it, how we wished we could read it again for the first time, that we were excited the new owner of the book is on the verge of that experience. We signed them with our (common) first names, but included no other contact information."
"Then we snuck them into books in a bookstore."
"It was a super fun date."
"I clicked on this thinking I'd be enlightened by some suggestions... Instead, everyone is telling me to do drugs, go to the gym, and relax with a vibrator."
"OK... You all convinced me. I'm going to buy a vibrator."
"Vibrators are pretty enlightening tbh."
Make a donation.
"3 cataract [treatments] to restore sight via the Fred Hollows foundation."
This can apply to any foundation of your choosing! You're sharing joy with those who need it.
"100% a bidet. A clean butthole makes for a happy day."
"Bidets are so underrated. I just don't feel clean without it anymore, yk?"
Maybe you don't have $75 to spend right now.
Well, even the act of filling up your online shopping cart and hitting "save for later" can give a rush a dopamine.
You're definitely worth that little bit of joy from buying that item that's been sitting in your cart for weeks.
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When we think of a "hero" we might think of someone in a cape who's saving civilians from terror. Or maybe we think of the essential workers we've called heroes throughout the pandemic.
Heroism is simply defined as "great bravery," according to Oxford Languages.
If being a hero is about showing courage, bravery and strength, heroic feats happen all around us every day with ordinary people.
Redditor thejppass asked:
"What takes significantly more heroism than people recognize?"
People on AskReddit shared what they thought made a hero.
Going against the grain.
"Saying no in room full of people saying yes because there is a reason to say no."
"It's especially brave when you consider it goes against a lot of instinctual human behaviour."
"We are partially meant to agree with the masses, for social acceptance and a few other reasons. Or at least not act against the masses and make a big show."
"It helps to be aware of this in a way."
"It's even harder when you know there might be repercussions for going against your superiors."
Getting out of toxic relationships.
"To walk away from a toxic relationship."
"Toxic family relationships."
"I think a hard part of toxic relationships is that there was enough "good stuff" to get into the relationship in the first place, and often people try to stay in the relationship to fix it or patch it up to try to get back to the idealized good part."
"That's why it's so hard to walk away from those relationships, compared to someone you are indifferent to."
Walking away from a fight.
"Walking away from a fight, I have been in situations where people were provoking me and saying the most horrible things they could think of to get me to lash out, walking away from those situations and looking weak (even though it took more strength) was probably the hardest thing I have ever done."
"One incident that made me know I was in love with my husband was when we were dating and some asshole guy in a bar tried to pick a fight with him. Instead of getting into it he turned to me and said 'let's get out of here.' As we were walking away he said 'damn that guy was big I sure didn't want to have to fight him' and he got laid that night instead of getting his a** kicked."
Or maybe finishing the fight.
"Standing up to a bully."
"My biggest regret of my childhood is not beating the sh*t out of at least one of my bullies the countless chances I had, but to this day I understand why I didn’t. I vividly remember the feeling of fear and how small I’d feel in their presence. Could have easily taken a couple of them, but that wasn’t even an option in my mind as soon as I got to school every day"
Admitting when you're wrong.
"Admitting (to yourself most importantly) that you’re being selfish/are wrong about something."
"Sometimes admitting your not selfish can be just as hard for some people too."
When the party's over.
"Asking people to leave your house at the end of a party."
"We had this issue on New years eve. My girlfriend just started cleaning around everyone. She said it's the universal 'you ain't gotta go home but you gotta get the hell outta here.' It worked."
"Slap your thighs as you stand up and say 'welp..'"
"Being publicly vulnerable."
"Specially as a man... its easier to act though. We push people away while its lonely its far more manageable. If you show vulnerability the consequences are far worse. It takes a lot of courage. Its much harder to show vulnerability. I know it first hand."
Donating an organ.
"Donating an organ (while alive). It's a lot of time to figure out if you're a match, first off, going to lab tests initially then other health tests. Once confirm match, having to go through the procedure itself."
"You could be a healthy donor but then not so healthy after the procedure, or your donation may not go over well with the new host. But if it all works out, whether or not you know the person receiving the organ, it's an amazing thing."
"The guilt and the heart break when it doesn't go well I wouldn't wish on anyone."
Being a full time caretaker.
"Caring for a loved one 24/7."
"Being the long term caregiver for an ill family member."
Heroism comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms.
It's no surprise that some of the most brave acts are about being emotionally vulnerable and standing up for what you believe in.
As the saying goes, heroes don't always wear capes.
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They say good things come in small packages—as a lifelong member of the "Never hit 5 feet tall" club it's a phrase I've had thrown at me often.
It's right up there with "small but mighty" and "people mcnugget."
It's popular because there's a fair bit of truth to it, though.
When it comes to some things, smaller is just flat out better.
Reddit user RasheenHyuga asked:
"What’s something that’s better when it’s smaller?"
We expected—and skipped over—the talk about butt stuff. Nobody is here to shame the size queens.
We did not, unfortunately, expect nor skip over the stuff about spiders.
We had to read it, so now you do too.
Differing Dad Approaches
"Pills/capsules shaped medicines."
"I have this difficulties swallowing hard capsules/tablets, if I'm aware."
"My dad used to hide them into fruits so I was not too anxious about it and not too bitter if I had to chew them."
"As a child, my father said that I’d need to learn how to dry-swallow pills in case there’s a world war & clean water is rationed."
"Kittens and puppies. They’re so cute when they’re tiny and I just wanna pick them up and hug them all!"
"Kittens, because when they grow up, they become bitches."
"I'm gonna get hate but dogs."
"I really like little dogs because they're like little wolves...but not! They're pocket companions and, if trained properly, can be well behaved and loving!"
"Yeah, having a large dog that can do stuff is awesome - but having a mini wolf you can shove in your back pack and take wherever is even cooler in my opinion. You'll never be alone because they're portable!"
"On a subway? Pocket dog."
"In a store? Pocket dog."
"Riding a bike? Pocket dog."
"The amount of Uno cards you're holding"
"I wouldn't mind a few more if they are all wild cards"
"Especially if it’s a plus 4 or plus 2!"
"The amount of Uno cards you're holding - while also remembering to say Uno on the last card. Learn from my mistakes..."
Bills, Bills, Bills
"A duck would disagree with you."
"Hospital bills in the USA is the obvious answer."
"With the hospital bills in the US right now, I totally agree."
"I got some old painkillers, tweezers, hydrogen peroxide, liquor, gauze & duct tape. I'll be fine."
The Small C
"It's never good, but it's better if it's smaller. I had a low grade Glioma (pre-cancer, caught it early) scraped/removed out of my skull, hell ya!"
"Statistically 60% of people don’t know they have one until they have the first seizure. That's what happened to me but I had other symptoms like light sensitivity, vision rainbows, exhaustion, insomnia, etc."
"I work on a computer everyday and I happen to have light sensitive eyes. One day I had a seizure."
"Lots of tests, MRIS, cat scans, pet scan, brain scans. They found a mass of brain that was explained as a “black mold” of brain matter."
"Surgeon suggested removing it sooner rather than watching it slowly grow over time."
"My cancer was caught on a mammogram when it was too small for even my doctors to feel, and it was right under my skin."
No Good Stones
"I've never had one, just figured bigger object through peepee = more pain."
"Fun fact I learned from experience: smaller kidney stones are way easier to pass, but the pain of them getting to that point can be far more severe because they're more likely to be jagged in structure."
"Suffice to say I agree with this one, but only just barely cause nonexistent is the best size for a kidney stone. That sh*t hurts. lmao"
"Aaahh, human pearls."
Speaking Truths Over Here
"Potato wedges are crispier and have an overall better taste when they're smaller."
"First answer I have read that isn't just making a bad thing smaller but rather is increasing how good something is"
"Yes. See? A real answer. Something I can apply to my life. Unlike philosophical moral truths and magic shrinking debt."
Literal Small Packages
"I'm a postal worker - packages. If it fits in your box, fuck yeah. Time saved."
"I replaced my street side mailbox a few years ago. No real need to but I put in a much larger box."
"My postman stopped one day and thanked me for doing it."
"F*ck yeah, I love it when my postal worker fits their package in my box."
"That reminds me of a jazz song called 'I'm Your Mailman' "
"It's about postal workers and yes, there's LOTS of innuendo."
"Mini m&ms are so much better in my opinion."
"Damn I used to live mini M&Ms but they stopped selling them in my country."
"The tube they used to come in now comes with the regular size m&ms, which makes no sense cause you barely get any. What the hell is up with that?"
"Spiders and all arthropods"
"Are you sure? Demodex is a genus of tiny mites that live in or near hair follicles of mammals."
"Around 65 species of Demodex are known. Two species live on humans: Demodex folliculorum and Demodex brevis, both frequently referred to as eyelash mites, alternatively face mites or skin mites."
"They have no anus so they just live in your eyelash follicles until their own sh*t makes their exoskeleton burst and they die."
"You probably have some living on you right now, they're just too small for you to see."
OK, you know ... we were all good until the poopsploding mites that live on your eyelids.
Somebody always has to make it weird on Reddit.
I'm starting to wonder if it's a secret by-law or something.
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Everyone has their "type" when it comes to sexual attraction.
"What is something you cannot find hot or attractive no matter how hard you try?"
People discuss the looks and behavior that are off-putting to them.
"Everyone's typing sexual shiz, but here's mine: Ego. When someone thinks they're just a top of the line kinda person and know everything about anything? No, just no."
"Had a guy I had just started dating awhile back ask me about my job at the time. I was telling him about it, but he would interrupt me to try and CORRECT me on things he clearly had no idea about (and was also wrong about every time he opened his mouth lol)."
"When girls put lipstick above their lip line to make their lips look bigger."
"I don't respect people that can't color within the lines, didn't in first grade and don't now."
"Those huge pumped up lips on a woman."
And To Top It Off
"The female equivalent of a toupee."
"I feel like that's the kind of thing that's alluring because it conveys confidence until you actually get involved with someone like that and realize they're just an a**hole."
There's a certain way adult couples speak to each other that others find annoying and more fitting for a nursery room.
"If you think it’s bad coming from a girl try hearing it from a guy. !!"
"Girls doing baby voices, I was once fooling around with this very cute girl and she used a baby voice sounding like tweety bird and sh*t and I couldn’t recover, I had to cut her free, hope she found the right guy who’s into that."
"My ex would often talk in this very childish way of speaking, like trying to be funny and cute, and honestly I thought it was, until one day we were hanging out with her ex and her ex started talking like that and I was like….ohhhhhhh….I see."
When it comes to the bedroom, these activities were ones Redditors could do without.
"Scat.""Truth be told, I had an ex who loves being f'ked in the a**. But it wasn't till the 20th ish time I realized she only wanted it up the poop shoot If she had diarrhea. And unfortunately it ended up all over me. Then she'd lick it off. Every single time I went immediately limp and couldn't finish. I tried, but, no.""I tried because she was into it."– oO_SbowWulf_Oo
"Beep bobbly dee doot dah dah bup ba boodle doodle hee bat NOPE!"
It's A Fecal Thing
"Scat play. I'm not here to kink shame, but... Miss me with that sh*t."
Leave It For The Gastroenterologist
"Unsolicited internal organs shots."
Here's A Pisser
"She asked, I obliged, we broke up within a month."
We all have our preferences that draw us towards certain people.
What others find repulsive, others find totally sexy. That's the beauty of dating, though, isn't it?
There's someone for everyone.
For those of you who are single and still looking, don't lose hope.
Your unicorn is out there.
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