Humans are dumb.
I'm not being mean that is just simple, scientific fact.
Sometimes we're just gonna act a fool.
Redditor IMA_COW_IRL wanted everyone to fess up about all the times they've used a few more brain cells than they usually do by asking:
"What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?"
It Burns....
"I applied hair removal cream meant for women on my testicles. I can't tell you how much pain I was in. I was in the shower at a friends house and I couldn't even ask for help. Air caused a burning sensation. So I switched off everything and just lay in bed. I also dumbly sprayed myself with pepper spray. But that's another story for another time."
ClinkingDoorKnob
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Going Up?
"At work we have glass elevators. Once, a guy was inside as I approached, so he was trying to press the button to open the door to hold the elevator for me. He accidentally pressed the button to close the door instead."
"I could see him inside panicking as the doors slowly closed, and as the elevator started to ascend he put his hand out to gesture an apology. For some reason, the sight of him and his hand gesture slowly floating up in the elevator made me laugh so much."
island_seashell
Being a Kid
"When i was about 8, i was walking out of school, i picked up some pink fairy floss (cotton candy) off the ground and put it in my mouth. It was insulation."
NitaRising
"Hahaha. Reminds me when I was a kid around that age, my cousin and I were hitting each other and playing around in insulation lying around when construction was being done on his house. We learned the hard way that day."
IMA_COW_IRL
Holed Up
"I've shared this before on similar threads but I can't get over how dumb it was. I turned my pants inside out after noticing they had a hole in them, thinking the hole would be on the inside that way."
Firestarhk
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The Worst Part
"I tried free climbing down a 20 ft rock wall towards the top of a mountain on Oahu with no climbing experience. Ended up falling right off of it, but there wasn't much space to land. So, I took an 80 ft tumble down the side of this mountain before I slammed into brush strong enough to stop me."
"Had to get airlifted off the mountain to a field where flight for life took me to the hospital with a broken wrist, broken humerus, shattered elbow, ruptured diaphragm, broken ribs, and a laceration on my spleen. I got lucky it wasn't my legs or head or neck. Worst part is if I'd have been patient I could've taken the little trail down next to the rock face that I climbed."
Flashdime
NO!!
"My sister once told her boyfriend she lost her phone, while on the phone with him, set down her phone, scoured the church for her phone, returned, picked up her phone and said, "I can't find my phone anywhere." And yet that's not the worst my family has done."
"My dad once stopped mowing the lawn to tell me to put the lawnmower (big red lawnmower with an 8 foot deck) onto the trailer so when he was done mowing the lawn we could tow it to the next location. It took a bit of explaining why I said, "No.'"
Aminar14
Don't Jump
"In a wedding I was alone, probably 13yo, exploring the space which was filled with beautiful gardens, when I found a large space, it's ground looked wavy like a skateboard park except it was black, I figured it was plastic so I jumped on it. It wasn't plastic."
"It was a net covering a biga** water reservoir and I sank in it knees deep before I got right out. Went back to my parents and no one noticed my legs we're super wet before they finally dried out, and my crazya** story I never told anyone stayed buried in my memory... Thus far at least."
thingusracamagucous
The Toot Maker
"Decided to mask a fart with a cough during class one day at school. Coughed, fart came out a second late. It was a cheek slapper. Then immediately proceeded to blame the kid next to me. Everyone knew it was me, and I still cringe about that moment to this day."
Dive In
"When I was younger my friend and I were messing around in my basement when we found some chemicals used in swimming pools and whatnot."
Giphy
"We started playing scientists and began mixing them all up in random ways and to this day I'm still surprised we didn't blow ourselves up or melt our faces off. Good times."
amlammy
Hot Press
"I decided to save time by ironing my shirt while I was wearing it and burned my boob." ~ RhinestoneHousewife
"Hair straightener! Only works well for button plackets and hems though, and is very, very hot immediately after. Also the risk of ironing leftover hair product into your shirt. All of this to say, I have also done this, while thinking I was being smart about it." ~ savvyjiuju
These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...The Licker
"Licked a saucepan that I just got off the stove when I dropped a bit of sauce on the edge of the pan. Walked around with a second degree burn on my lower lip and a numb tongue for 2 weeks. A close number two is trying to catch a kitchen knife that fell off the counter while doing the dishes. Luckily it only grazed the side of my hand, but it was with the sharp side towards my hand so now I have a cool little scar there. These are all reasons why I'm no longer allowed in the kitchen XD." ~ L_Greenleaf
Gamer
"Bought a Dreamcast two weeks before they stopped making games for it." ~ opus_4_vp
Logo 90S GIF
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metal + microwave = bad...
"When I was like 10 I was craving an ice cold coke, but all the cans were warm. I figured I’d toss one in the freezer for 20 minutes but forgot about it, and only rediscovered it a couple hours later frozen solid. I needed a quick way to defrost that tasty beverage just enough to be drinkable, so I tossed it in the microwave."
"Only upon seeing the flurry of blue sparks did I remember that metal + microwave = bad. Realistically this probably isn’t the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in terms of negative impact on my life, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt like a bigger idiot." ~ its_average
Square One
"I moved 1,000 miles away from home and had a hard time finding a job when I got there. After a few months of searching I finally did get a job, but I overslept twice in the first week and was late to work both times. They fired me that Friday and I was back to square one." ~ DanHam117
daredevil...
"There was a huge hill near where I grew up, and at the bottom was a 4 way roundabout. I was a dumb daredevil as a kid and this hill was on the way home from school, so naturally one day my friend watched me as I rode down the hill, my bike could not go any faster, and I went through the roundabout, narrowly missing 2 cars in the process. I did this twice until I realised how dumb it was. As an adult now, every time I go through that roundabout in my car I picture what could have happened, and how big a twat I was." ~ TheRealReapz
911
"I tried heroin with a guy I had just met. I overdosed and only survived because he called an ambulance." ~ YourYam
Kill Me Smh GIF
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Long Shift
"One time I was exhausted after a really long shift, and going to take a shower. So I got undressed, carefully folded my clothes, and placed them in the toilet. Then I stood there, staring at them, thinking 'I know something is wrong here, but I'm not sure what." ~ Crocutaborealis
Our brain is just going to malfunction.
Don't panic.
It is also perfectly normal to be a bit... scattered.
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Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
