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People Slam The Lamest Motivational Sayings They've Ever Heard

You ever in a bad mood so deep that somebody tries to cheer you up and all you can hear is "Bullsh-t!" Well, you're not alone. It's a common human experience. Not every glass can be half full.

jbyrd13 asked Reddit:

What motivational saying do you think is complete bullsh-t?

Here are some of the responses.

Constantly Working

"Just be yourself."

"Myself" is a 400 pound sack of sh-t who does nothing but eat pizza and play video games. That's who I'd be if I let myself be "myself".

What I TRY to be is the best version of myself. That's why I work out, go to school, study another language, stay in touch with friends and family. To improve, and not settle.

Syntax

I was just thinking about this the other day.

Everything (does) happen for a reason (because of previous events).

Everything (does not) happen for a (future) reason (that is of supposed greater purpose).

It's such a nothing statement.

Where's My Money, Though?

Do what you love and the money will follow.

Being Dishonest With Your Feelings

I think variations on "stay positive", because it's made out like you should always be happy and positive about everything. They don't tell you that you need to reflect and what brings you down sometimes.

Where Does It End

"Work hard, and good things will come."

Sometimes it's true. Sometimes it's completely untrue and you work hard at a sh-tty job for the rest of your life and wish you were dead.

What Do I Have

Someone always has it worse.

Sure. But, this is my issue right now. Feeling sorry for some homeless dude at this moment isn't going to fix my busted -ss car so I can get to work.

Begetting Work

"You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want." - Zig Ziglar

A Grain Of Salt

"Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." (BS- there will be days where Doritos & COD sound way better than your passion for woodworking.)

"Love is never having to say you're sorry." Been married 2 years, totally in love- still apologize probably 8 times a day for dumb crap that I do.

A Lover AND A Fighter

"if you love something let it go, if they don't come back they were never yours in the first place."

F-ck that. Fight tooth and nail for what you want. Don't let go until you know for sure it's a lost cause.

Yes, AND....

Good things come to those who wait. Sure patience and waiting have their time. But so many things need action and perseverance and so many people just need a kick up the butt to get them moving. Good things come to those who work for them.

Logic

"God never gives you more than you can handle." What? People encounter things that kill them. It you take a bullet to the head and then you die, that was more than you could handle.

Are You Irish?

"You make your own luck!"

That's literally not what luck is!

????????

"A bird in the bush is worth two in the stone". What the f-ck does this even mean?

I Think You Misunderstood

"Don't count your eggs before they hatch."

Chickens and eggs are both edible, you know.

Live By This

"You gotta fake it, till you make it!"

That doesn't take into account how much people enjoy exposing frauds.

Taking To An Extreme

You can do anything you put your mind to.

I had a debate once because my step mother once said that, and so I asked her "Am I able to time travel back to 1568 build a solid aluminum tower through the sun within 20 seconds" all she said was, if you put your mind to it.

Reality

The general consensus in this thread is that the saying "you can have it all" is bullsh-t.

That's right on target.

You're not going to be a rock star. Or a famous actor. Or a champion athlete. No matter how much positive thinking you engage in, you're not going to make millions.

If you work hard, you might wind up being a session player in that famous band. Or an assistant coach on that team. Or a producer on that hit sitcom. And that's okay.

Not everybody gets to be the star of the show.

I'm In Control

You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most.

I hang out with less than 5 people regularly so how should I interpret that?

Also the saying that people with an active social life are happiest but i genuinely feel happiest when my social life is nearly though not completely nonexistent. An active social life still makes me less happy than a nonexistent one but a very minimal one is ideal for me.

Yoda

"There is no try, only do." it's a way of making people feel like sh-t for not being perfect at something right out of the gate under the guise of motivation.

Dreaming Wide Awake

Follow your dreams. I think the majority of people actually do.

Lifehacks, if applied properly, can really change the course of a single household chore.

Chores can really be such a pain to take care of, and nobody wants to do it. But with a little life hack under your belt, you might be able to turn chore time into something a little fun.

u/rat-avec-london asked:

What is a lifehack that seems fake, but is a true lifesaver?

Here were some of those answers.


My Finger, The Glass

If your ring gets stuck on your finger windex will slide it right off. Worked at a jewelry store for five plus years.

coykoi314

You can also use any oil (cooking, automotive... anything).

You can also reduce the size of your hand (and finger) by holding it up in the air. Chilling your hand in cold water THEN holding it up in the air for a couple minutes whilst rubbing oil &/or dishwashing fluids in there... trifecta of ring removal.

Should work on anyone that just stole Sauron's prize - though biting it off also works, i suppose.

SageSilinous

Multiple Uses

Use shaving cream as anti-fog. I used it on the inside of my motorcycle visor. Smear it on, let it dry, then rinse off and dry. It also works for bathroom mirrors. You can use it on a small spot so you can still see when you get out of the shower.

Caspers_Shadow

Shaving cream also removes the smell of urine. If you ever have to take care of someone who is old and/or sick and who wets the bed, a little shaving cream on a rag wiped over their buttocks after they are thoroughly cleaned up helps them really smell clean again.

It's a bit of a sad tip, I know, but you never know when you might end up caring for someone who needs help with things like this. Nobody wants to smell. A dab of shaving cream to restore a bit of dignity? Priceless.

Gen-Jinjur

Pretty Important For Stage Actors

Every male should know this. If you want to get rid of an awkward boner flex any muscle in your body maybe an arm. For a minute. The blood will rush to that muscle and away from your penis. Crisis averted.

GingerOverseer

These life hacks really don't seem real at all, but if you can swear by them, they can save your life.

Obligatory Poop Hack

I saw a comment on one of these kinda threads that recommended gently rocking back and forth while pooping. I've never had any problems in the bathroom, but I happened to be sitting on the toilet when I read the comment so I decided to give it a test drive. I was pleasantly surprised at how quick and effortless the whole experience was and I haven't gone back to my old stationary technique since. As a bonus, #1 and #2 now require the same amount of time in the bathroom!

ASS_LORD_666

It's The Alcohol

If you have funky armpits and need to fix them fast, use hand sanitiser. I figured this out years ago when I remembered that the smell comes from bacteria reactions - which antibacterial hand gel kills stone dead. Instant results and the medical smell lasts only a minute. Don't do this routinely though as it's delicate skin.

ihadanideaonce

But Hopefully It's Just A Playing Puppy

True lifesaver: if you are ever attacked by a dog, push your forearm INTO the bite. This pries the jaws apart and prevents them from clamping down. If a dog is attacking you, the best thing you can do is offer your forearm, push as far back as possible, and then grab the dog by the scruff of its neck with your other hand to hold it. The dog is now functionally muzzled and you have control of its head. The sooner and harder you push into the bite, the less damage the bite will do.

IAlbatross

Get It Off Anything

That rubbing alcohol removes chewing gum.

I'd go through a 20 layer deep marketing funnel to get to that tip because it really does work.

Also wow! Thank you for all of the awards nice Redditors. I completely forgot I left this comment and came back and my notifications had blown up.

omgIamafraidofreddit

And previously impossible situations will give way at long last.

Sayonara Capsaicin

Rubbing vegetable oil (or any cooking oil) on your hands after you cut up jalapeños or other hot peppers. It gets rid of the awfulness that would normally be left on your hands from the peppers. I rub my hands with oil and then wash it off with dish soap. I can totally remove my contacts after doing this. It's crazy how well this works.

PaulRuddsButthole

Crying Crying

Put your onion in the freezer for 10 minutes before chopping it. It freezes the juices just enough to slow down the process of it turning in to a gas, giving you a few minutes to chop the onion without tears. I learnt this tip from a kid's science show years ago and I haven't had to deal with onion tears since. So many people don't believe me, and then are genuinely surprised when it works.

Lost_in_the_Library

Just A Quick Little Base

The cheapest, most effective, and safest insecticide against roaches (especially those huge "water bug" roaches that we have in the South) is a spray bottle of mostly water with just a little liquid dish soap in it.

Shake the bottle & get the water a little foamy, then spray the roaches. They will run, scrabble, and attempt escape, of course, but they will die. The soap film suffocates them faster than any chemicals will.

A friend told me about this, & I thought she was nuts, but I tried it & it works amazingly well. Plus it's very easy to clean up and safe around food (not that you want to spray soapy water ON your food).

SnooPickles3213

Incorporating any of these lifehacks into your home may make a big difference. You'll never want to turn back.

Or you will, whatever. But they're worth a try!

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