Lies. Life and "wisdom" is littered with lies. Simple, everyday truths we tell ourselves and others are just a fabrication.
I know we want everyone to stay upbeat throughout our time on this Earth, but how desperate do we have to be to have swallowed some of this poppycock?
It gets better. Times heals wounds. Alcohol doesn't help with weight loss. I love you. Nonsense! Maybe I'm in a mood and exaggerating a smidge, but not by much. LOL
Redditoru/OptionsTrader14wanted to gather up intel on what parts of popular chatter are just not up to snuff these days by asking:
What popular sayings are actually bulls**t?
Seriously, looking back, how did we not start questioning the origins of life sayings long before we tried to implement them? Or at least when we reached ages when we should know better. Cue the gaslight...
I'll take an Orange!
apples caities classroom GIF by Super SimpleGiphy"An apple a day keeps the doctor away! Damn, the older I get, the more I wish it were that simple."
Dumb Love
"Love is never having to say you're sorry." I think from the movie, Love Story. Stupid and ridiculous."
"Said to Ryan O'Neil in "Love Story." In "What's up Doc?" Barbara Streisand quotes the line to Ryan at the end and he replies: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard"
Separate Ways!
The past year it has been "We're in this together."
"If anything it's been one of the most "every man for himself" times I've ever witnessed."
"Hey, can I have one of your 30 packs of toilet paper in your cart? I have 3 kids and no toilet paper. We're using cacti to wipe with."
"NO F YOU!"
- DC4MVP
More than Twice
"The lightning never strikes twice in the same spot." Yes, it does. Especially if that spot is a high metal structure, it will be struck twice, even more than just two times."
- ATF0
"The Empire State Building gets struck by lightning between 25 and 100 times every year."
"Without a lightning rod, these strikes would ground themselves through the building's wiring, or through the people working on one of its 103 floors, causing untold amounts of damage."
Snuff
Which Way Flex GIF by HollyoaksGiphy"That'll buff right out."
"I say that ironically these days, for anything that clearly can't be buffed out."
I do love apples. And I don't have to see the doctor often, so maybe there is merit there. Plus that one is easy, somebody just wanted somebody else to eat healthier. Just say that! And I like to focus on a different kind of buff.
like an adult...
cry baby GIFGiphy"Sleep like a baby. A more accurate description for it would be pissed the bed twice and woke up screaming."
I'm Sinking...
"We're all in the same storm together. But most of us are in rowboats, a bunch are treading water in the waves without so much as a life jacket. Meanwhile a handful are in their mega yachts looking down on everyone else, talking about how terrible the storm is."
It's Over
"Finish what you started. No, sometimes the thing I started was a bad idea and maybe I should do something I like better."
"I heard another quote from someone which I like better, the gist of which was "Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a long time making it."
"It's actually more efficient to quit bad thoughts/processes in the beginning, you'll waste less time. I learned that during projects in my apprenticeship."
- xzplayer
Everyday
"Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Well, I do what I love and I'm an unemployed alcoholic. Somehow, I don't think whoever said that first had this in mind."
"Do you really love it if it involves a lot of tasks you hate? I feel like that's just a job you don't love if you're not enjoying the bulk of it. Sounds just like you love the results of it, love the impact, not that you enjoy the day to day. Then you're just not doing what you love on a day to day basis."
"I've had a lot of jobs I hated and loved, currently love. It makes a HUGE difference, between being depressed and not. I knew my life would be way better when I found a good job I loved. Now I'm getting over alcoholism and cut way the heck down, and don't feel like I need to drink to cope."
"The "never work a day in your life" imo just means you'll never feel that stress of hating your job every day like many do. It doesn't literally mean you won't work, just that those stresses of work will be so unimportant and not make you feel like crap."
At Capacity
brain power GIF by nogGiphy"Teacher of mine have a good metaphor to illustrate the non sense. He said "areas of the brain not being all stimulated at the same time might sound like a non optimal way of using a machine."
"But now take a traffic light, we can say I works 1/3 of its capacity at time (one color represents a signal) and if it worked 100% all the time, putting all the colors at once, you agree it could be very dangerous for the traffic right?"
- Lacet19
That baby one is so true. I never thought about that one. And now I'm going to stockpile a list of sayings and begin origin research. Expose the lies! And just use common sense.
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Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
Forever
GIF by moodmanGiphy"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
fvillion
Frustration
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
QuietusNoctis
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
painthawg_goose
Heartless
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
Arkhangelzk
Necessity
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Fit_Technology8240
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
Percentages
Giphy"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
jakovichontwitch
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
molten_dragon
Age Related
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
Kantforall
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
caffeinated-hijinx
Kiss Me
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
Adventurous_Train_48
Touchy/affectionate...
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Borboleta77
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
NucularOrchid
Definitive!
Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
oeeiae
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
Sorry Amy...
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRob
Shawn Spencer What GIFGiphy"Snap, Snap."
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- Radkeyoo
Amy Poehler Ben GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamia
it crowd chris odowd GIFGiphyAfterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcan
Mothers Day Woman GIF by LaffGiphyIt Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwo
homer simpson love GIFGiphyBe they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.