Have you looked outside your house today?
Nothing might be happening or everything might be happening. Depends on where you live, obviously. Location can matter a lot to your overall state of mind, like whether you wake up every morning ready to go to brunch with the gals down the street or if you're grabbing your signs, ready to protest. For good and bad, everyone has that breaking point, and the world has broken a lot of people lately.
Reddit user, u/frognik, wanted to know:
When did you stop giving a f-ck and why?
You Can Only Be A Doormat For So Long
GiphyWhen I realized that no matter how nice and patient and understanding I am, people will still leave and I will still be perpetually treated like sh-t. The amount of times I've literally just let people punch me in the face and I have done... nothing... to "be the bigger person" only to see that it did nothing but make that person feel as if they have no consequences to their actions is what really made me realize that being the bigger person is a load of horse sh-t.
Such A Jaded Young Man
5th grade. I got into my first fight. It was a kid that showed up that year and took to hanging out with the few friends that have me the time of day and turned them into my worst bullies. He antagonized me for months and one day at recess we were all playing a game and they all agreed to completely ignore me the rest of the day. Not even moving to avoid my path just bumping into me if I was in the way.
I got fed up. And well, I think you can guess what happened from their.
Work Bleeds Into Real Life
When my management job started becoming too stressful to deal with, when it started spewing into my non-working time. Yet my anxiety still makes me give a f-ck, even though I know I personally, don't give a f-ck anymore.
Too Much Pressure All The Time
realizing I didn't wanna live like my mom. my mom always wanted the picture perfect family. I don't wanna live life like her. Always worrying about her "image" and what other think of her, always having to please ppl. Always pleasing.
Yeesh. So Much Effort For So Little Return.
After my 7th grade social studies midterm exam, I made hundreds of flash cards and even made a matching game out of them. I still ended up getting like a 72% on it.
Yeah! Go, You!
When I gained 60 pounds after high school. I used to be super self conscious as a teen in high school. I was extremely body conscious to the point where I quit the swim team because I was too ashamed of my body to continue. I never wore shorts in the summer because I thought my legs were too fat. I never wore sleeveless shirts. Then I gained a bunch of weight after graduation and said f-ck it. I buy shorts. I wear crop tops. I wear sleeveless shirts. I am trying to lose weight now because I know I'm headed down a bad slope but I'm almost glad I gained the weight because it taught me to stop being so self conscious.
When No One Believes Them?
When someone threw a traumatic event that happened to me in my face because they thought I was lying. Their sister ended up backing me up but at that point I was just done trying to help people that didn't treat me well. I will help you until you hurt me, but I was done letting people walk all over me.
A Complete Turnaround
I went to my shrink to avoid getting sent to the mental hospital and she changed my life. She pointed out that now that I knew I could cross that line and kill myself, I could just do whatever I wanted and if everything went to sh\-t on me, I could just kill myself. On that day, I stopped giving a f-ck about what anyone wanted, but me. I filed for divorce, came out of the closet and two months after that, met the love of my life. We just had our 15th wedding anniversary. But I haven't given a f-ck in a long time. What I want and how I want to live my life is all I am concerned with. As for the "other guy"? He comes first, right after me.
Welcome To Your Thirties!
GiphyWhen i turned 30 i realized i was pretending to give a f-ck for the past 5 years, all the time, creating f-cks in my head so i could give them, because i thought that was the way humans must deal with stuff. So i decided to embrace the f-ckless person that i became, and stopped giving fake f-cks completely. So now i just honestly don't give a f-ck anymore and don't feel bad about it.
Take A Possible Negative And Turn It Positive
When I realized at one point that everything I believed and did was completely wrong and had a huge existential crisis, along with a huge shift in my views and hobbies. This was probably a good thing though.
You Can't Change Their Mind
When I learnt that people are always pass judgement no matter what you do/say, since then I just do what makes me happy and let me sleep well at night.
Doesn't Matter How You Got There, You Still Got There
When I took molly and in the morning I was going through an afterglow and danced in front of my house from 9am to 2pm straight, even after being recorded by my neighbors, I just realized like. I don't f-cking care what people think anymore. I'm thirty and I've spent most of my life chasing people who don't give a f-ck about me while pushing away people who love the everliving sh-t out of me. I'm just done. I'm over it.
the person who's opinion matters of me is me, my partner when I find one and if I ever have a child, them.
Then You Have To Ask If It Really Matters
When I realized that people will talk/have an opinion on anything you do
Word. Also, knowing that a lot of talk/opinions are either bullsh-t or lies is icing on the cake.
It's Only You
About 2 years go I had a revelation. From birth to death, nobody has to spend more time with me than I do myself. Therefore, the only persons approval I have to have I my own. It has allowed my to quit worrying about sh-t I cant control and say f*** the BS to any negativity that may come my way.
Get To The Grind
When I realized adulthood is just endless grinding and leveling up.
When I realized how sooooo many people are absolutely full of sh-t.
When I realized all the "tough guys" were mostly wormy little b-tches.
When I realized all the motherf-ckers who'd been gaslighting me were dead wrong.
When I realized we're all specks of dust in the middle of f-cking nowhere.
Double The Pain
After I had to let both of my parents go.
Dad had his blood vessel in his head burst, along with prior kidney failure. The doctor said the surgery had less than 40% success rate. I figured out I we can't handle the cost, so I let him go.
Mom passed away 2 years later due to breast cancer, I told the doctor not to resuscitate her, at the time I just want to allow her to rest. She had been fighting for 4 years, staying alive just to see me graduate from college.
After all that, I find it hard to give a f-ck. I just wanna live my life and not be bothered, man.
A Changing Perspective
After my Mother died of stage 4 lung cancer.
People would be amazed at how tiny everyday life issues become in comparison to this emotional behemoth
Right there with you. I watched my dad suffocate as we took him off life support after lung transplant complications while he was in a medically induced coma. When I'm having a bad day, I remember that day and knowing there isn't much that can top that.
Then I remember how amazing the friends and people around me were to take care of my family. Makes the day a bit better in some weird way. I try to see if anyone else needs some help and I think less about how bad I'm feeling and I just let things go.
Turns Out The World Is Way Too Big To Care About Everything
GiphyI figured out caring about everything thing isn't good for my mental health.
I want to care about nothing but I can't. I keep caring about too many things against my own will.
Caring is will. So it can't be against your will. All this means is you have conflicting desires.
You want to have some desires fulfilled, but you also want to be free of those desires. The latter is achievable with some introspection. I was able to realise for instance that many desires I used to have (in terms of career, relationships, hobbies...) were actually my parents', and my peers'. Because I had the deep desire to please my parents, and be accepted by my peers. Once I realised that, I said "f-ck it", and I started to investigate my actual desires, and pursue those.
It still causes a little pain when I think about being rejected, but I don't care. A life lived in fear of being rejected by others if you don't meet up to their expectations, while denying your own true aspirations, is not worth living in my opinion. And it turns out, most people I know supported me in my choices. And I don't spend time with those who don't.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
Red Flags That Signal Someone Wasn't Raised Right
"Reddit user spirallinggg asked: 'What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?'"
Parents are meant to teach offspring how to survive in this world.
They're meant to guide us on how to be a good member of society.
But either some parents fail, or too many adults don't get the message.
And all that can lead to a mighty dysfunctional adult.
Redditor spirallinggg wanted to hear about the ways we can decipher if others have bad parenting, so they asked:
"What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?"
Basic human decency is a sign of a good upbringing.
Garbage
"They throw trash out a car window."
shershae
"I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month."
Pinkmongoose
Random Aisles
"People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles."
glockops
"I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone who ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which is made-to-order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take-and-bake pizzas we have."
"I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (the last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered."
weedtrek
Be Responsible
"Lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."
Sona-kin
I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are... but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc."
nakedwithoutmyhoodie
Rude
Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy"When they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back."
flowerzforthedead
THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the backs of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their lives. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you MF.
Cold-Load-4388
If you can't say it to their face, then don't say it.
Why do people have to crap talk?
Check Please
Escalate Customer Service GIF by FILMRISEGiphy"Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time and place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using 'please' and 'thank you' seems beyond some people. Bums me out."
CaptainLawyerDude
Others
"Lack of consideration for others."
NewVAinvestor1
"A lot of people do not fundamentally understand other people exist. They understand things exist. They understand those things should be referred to as people. But they do not understand those things have an entire existence and experience all their own exactly like them."
Sh3lls
No!
"When they can't take no for an answer."
NerdyPlaneResident
"I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time, I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, and then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning."
SergeantPsycho
Professions
"When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers."
Leekayleigh_
"Oh yes. My husband took on a second job doing pizza deliveries. A few people laughed at him doing that at his age. They don't laugh when he explains his main job is simple and, deliveries are just driving blasting tunes and adds $900 a month after tax to our income. Then they see all the travel. Usually shuts them up."
CurvePuzzleheaded361
Offensive
For Real Wow GIF by DeStormGiphy"Zero manners."'
Fuzzteam7
"I took a guy to a family beach condo because he says he never goes to the beach. Let him tag along with our group. Never said thank you one time. I dropped him back off at his house, and I said can you at least say thanks, he was so offended I asked or was trying to force a thank you."
berrey7
"BUT"
"When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added 'But you guys need to understand that I'm a no-bulls**t kind of person.' No sir, that's not how apologies work."
GimmickInfringement1
I hate a BUT.
Either you mean what you offer or don't say it.
Things Parents Do That Unknowingly Screw Their Children Over
Parenting isn't a simple job.
The health, safety and well-being of another human being is on the line. Eventually that human will enter society with all the lessons or traumas of their childhood shaping them.
That's a lot of responsibility.
But even the most well-meaning parents can mess up.
Reddit user RunningInAHurricane asked:
"What do a lot of parents do that unknowingly screws their children over?"
Because I Said So
"Not taking the time to explain themselves on certain topics."
"The whole 'do as I say because I said so' or 'because I had you' is not effective."
~ LiteLit
"Yes! Rules should always have valid rationales behind them. Ones that you can explain fully."
"'Your room must be clean: building habits and routines makes life way easier and keeping a clean house can help reduce the chance of injury from tripping or pests'."
"Bedtime is 8: sleep is very important for our health. If we dont get enough, we het cranky and dont function as well'."
"Yadda yadda. Adjust for age."
"And you can build in safe phrases for times when your kids need to listen and follow directions without question. These are used like this: 'if I ever grab your arm and say "apples aren't oranges" you need to do as i say because it is a matter of your own safety. Once we are safe, I will explain'."
~ Lostintranslation390
Selective Memory
"Forgetting what it was like to be that age, and expecting their kids to react differently to things than them when they were that age."
~ MunkRubilla
"People are quick to forget what being a teenager is like."
"It's hard on the body physically and mentally just from the hormones, all of their friends are going through the same sh*t, and they're also desperately trying to find their place in the world at the stage in between childhood and adulthood."
~ Cautious_Hold428
Critical Thinking
"Not teach them to think for themselves."
"They need to think independently from other people."
"My favorite thing my parents taught me was to not have a hive mind mentality and think things through before believing and using them."
~ GimmiwCoconut
"I'm 24 and recently visited family for a week.
"It's amazing how my mom immediately started trying to make my choices for me regarding what I do, wear, and eat."
"It's not malicious on her part, it's just a force of habit. But my God is it infuriating."
~ DisposableCharger
Failure Is An Option
"They fail at letting their kids fail and figure out how to recover."
"It prevents the kids from becoming resilient."
~ BS623-902
"This starts when they're little."
"You have to let the 2 year old struggle with the toy or puzzle and not just do it for them when they start to cry and get frustrated."
"It's okay for your kids to cry about being frustrated, you don't need to immediately stop it."
~ lexrp
Inside Voice
"Shouting at them instead of having a conversation."
~ therapoootic
"My husband is incapable of just having a conversation with our 15-year-old son."
"He's always shouting because he doesn't like the way our son looks at him or because he feels he's not being shown respect."
"This all boils down to him projecting his frustrations, as he can't shout at people at the office or on the street."
"So he does it at home. It's annoying."
~ DisastrousGarage9052
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
"Not apologize when they’re wrong."
~ Mlaer7351
"I’ve never heard my mum apologise to me ever."
"She’s said many hurtful things to me in the past that I’ve never let go of because she never came to apologise for any of the things she said."
"If she had simply apologised and admitted that what she said was wrong and hurtful, I think that things between us would be so much better."
~ ellie_wxbster
Control
"Might sound a little contradictory but either not disciplining them or disciplining them way too much."
~ RandomRamblings99
"The disciplining too much hits hard."
"I know so many kids with strict parents that became druggies the second they left for college."
"Nobody taught them to have self agency because their independence never existed until they left their homes."
~ Redacted_G1iTcH
"I never had chores to do around the house. I never had a curfew. I was rarely told no."
"I was spoiled to the point where my parents would be willing to pay for my Ubering everywhere because they were too afraid I would get in an accident if I drove a car. I'm 29 and don't have a license and pay for that almost every day."
"Basically grew up like a princess. My mom came to my doctor's appointments and even sometimes made said appointments for me (cause I couldn't make phone calls) until I finally moved out."
"And by that, I mean moved out of the house, country, continent."
"I've been living on my own for over two years now. I'm still alive. They made fun of me, saying I grew up like a princess and because of it, I wouldn't last a day without my family."
"Yes, I'm still very much codependent and talk with them more than anyone else even now—but I proved to myself that I can take care of myself. I'm a different person, and that's the first thing my sibling said to me when we spent some time together recently."
"I'm a full-blown grown-up now. And I'm glad I jumped into it. It was so hard, but I'm getting better at it. Slowly but surely."
~ Ancient_Reply4583
Gimme Shelter
"Over sheltering them."
"You can't protect your kids 24/7 for their whole lives."
"It leads to naive adults that get taken advantage of."
~ Chosen_of_Nerevar
"I think some parents confuse 'trauma' with 'adversity'."
"Trauma can lead to long lasting emotional, social, mental, and physical issues. Consequently, trauma should be avoided at all costs."
"However, adversity can lead to personal growth, perseverance, and confidence building."
"Parents (and society as a whole) need to be able to distinguish one from the other."
~ triton2toro
Parenting is hard work and no one will get everything right all the time.
All anyone can do is try their best.
Though we mean nothing by it, there's no denying the fact that there are some characteristics, personality types, and behaviors that we find to be a total turn-off when it comes to dating.
The difficult part, though, is that what we find to be unattractive might be an unusual or unexpected thing to point out to someone else. To each their own, right?
Curious about what others' expectations were, Redditor DawnOfLegion1 asked:
"What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?"
Similar Intelligence
"He should be as smart as or smarter than me."
"There's no bigger turnoff than a guy who is noticeably dumber and there's nothing hotter than a guy who is particularly intelligent."
- _hootyowlscissors
"I'll second this. If he's slightly less intelligent, I can deal with it (although it IS a turnoff), but I've had friends date hot dumb guys, and I never got the appeal. At all. Even if the guy was sweet, I just kept thinking I would feel like I was messing with the village id**t. Not my thing at all."
- LeRuseRenard
Completely Available
"I require my date to be single. Not 'we have an understanding', not 'she doesn't understand me', and not 'we're separated and neither of us can afford an apartment on our own.' SINGLE. Not married."
"The last time a guy told me that his wife was okay with it, I told him that I wanted to hear those words from his wife. Never talked to him again."
- INobodyisme
Mind the Rules
"No getting up at 6:00 AM to do CrossFit."
"No drinking and driving."
"No crazy ex that seems to hang around with them a lot."
- Haelifae
One Word: Reciprocity
"Not a requirement, but if I paid for dinner, you paying for two ice creams or coffees isn’t all that bad."
- Soup_and_Rice
"Reciprocity."
"The older I get, the more I realize how important it is that they put in as much effort as I am."
"It doesn't have to be the same thing, have your own style; but I can't be doing all the work, all the time."
"This is with money (buy me dinner sometimes, offer to get my drink), sex (I can be a little more dominant, but you have to initiate sometimes, you have to be into it, I can't do all the work), romance or intimacy (reach out and grab my hand to walk, touch my back sometimes), or communication (text me first just to check in, for once)."
- TheLateThagSimmons
Weird Requirement: Weird
"She must be weird. And I mean truly, the kind of weird that makes other men run away."
- Vamluck
Just Equally Weird
"They have to be a little bit pervy and a little bit weird."
- CherryApple89
"When I was younger, if I was at the bar and there was a guy I thought might be fun to talk to, I would walk up and in the sexiest voice, I would tell them they have the hottest knees I have ever seen on a man."
"10 seconds flat, I would know whether they were someone I wanted to get to know. So I think I have the weird thing down."
- Dull-Geologist-8204
The Importance of Quiet Time
"I wanna be able to just chill with them doing nothing. I've been with someone who always had to be doing something and it got exhausting really fast."
- Shatteredfart
Seems Fair
"Not currently recovering from something."
"All tattoos must be spelled correctly."
"Employed."
"Four-tooth minimum."
- Mohawk60
Staying on Equal Footing
"Not sure how weird it is, but my rule is that I pay for myself every step of the way until we decide to become a couple."
"After that, we can split the bills, or take turns treating each other, etc., if that is what we both choose."
"Too many times I let a guy buy me dinner, and it is somehow implied that I now owe him something. Nope. All done with that."
- One-Internet-1982
"As a man, I have a lot of respect for that. I don't mind paying for dates and such, but I always get a bit of an icky feeling when the woman expects or demands it."
"I prefer more of an equal partnership rather than old-school gender roles, and stuff as basic as, 'Hey, you paid for the last date, let me get this one,' goes such a long way, and I feel like it also shows genuine interest from the other person."
- CaptainFresh27
Willing to Try New Things
"No picky eaters. It’s okay if you’re not a foodie, but I like to cook, and if you won’t give my food a chance, it’s not gonna work out."
- Pandaburn
A Lover of Drama
"If your profile says, 'No drama, please,' I immediately assume you are the drama or are too immature to handle life’s normal ups and downs and consider that to be drama."
- WillowWispWhipped
Intense Passion
"I love it when they have a hyper fixation."
- Unlikely-Base-4989
"The ADD/ADHD community loves you back."
- YakitoriChicken93
Knowing Your Own Limits
"No horse girls."
"I've got nothing against it, but it’s always very important to them and I’m too terrified of horses to be properly supportive, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Former-Finish4653
What's in a Name?
"They cannot have the same name as my sister or my mom."
"Alternatively, my name is unisex and a girl with my name is a turn on."
- Smellymyhand
Quite the Commitment
"I've decided that anybody I plan to spend my life with has to be willing to buy and ride a tandem bike with me."
- Sheepherder_7648
Despite the prompt being "weird requirements," some of these make a lot of sense, and more people might be adding these to their list of requirements after reading this.
But others are slightly more unexpected and likely fall under the "to each their own" category.
We all find ourselves having an unexpected run-in with someone we know on the street every now and then.
In some cases, it's a pleasant surprise and plans are immediately made to catch up.
In other cases, you dig out the first excuse you can to keep on moving, as this particular individual was not someone you hoped would re-enter your life.
Then, of course, there are the times you run into an ex.
Whether you ended things amicably or acrimoniously, it's always going to be an awkward encounter.
Just how awkward it will be, however, depends on your reaction.
Redditor rageondad was curious to hear how people would react if they unexpectedly saw their ex on the street, leading them to ask:
"You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?"
Nothing But Happy Memories...
"1st ex: say hi, nice conversation."
"All good."
"2nd ex: hide from her again, like I did that one time at the gas station."- jfg1435
Who?
"Ignore him because he’s not worth saying hi to."
"And I wouldn’t care about him at all."- Big-Elevator2491
One Way To Handle It...
"Start taking a sh*t on the side walk immediately."- ceiling_fanzz
Excuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphyNo Harm, No Foul
"Say hi."- hot-breadfruit_poop
"And ask how they are doing."
"I'm a curious creature, what can I say?"- Lamacorn
Nothing But Excitement
"Give each other a huge hug."
"We're going to see each other next week for the first time in 25 years."
"It'll be good."
"We've remained friends this whole time, so we're both looking forward to it."- riceme0112358
"Say hi, give him a hug, ask him what he's doing in town."- m00nf1r3
Couple Love GIF by PantayaGiphyOuch!
"Didn't you die?" -Reddit
"Wonder who dug her up."- 8urfiat
"Walk On By..."
"Just keep walking."- MythicalMicrowave
Walking By Moe Szyslak GIF by Football AustraliaGiphyEven If It Means J-Walking
"Cross the street."- no_days_grace
Avoiding Your Ex In Five D's...
"Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge."- catinatank·
The Passage Of Time
"I would wish her well if I recognized her."
"It’s been over 20 years since I’ve seen her."
"It’s not like we parted on bad terms or anything."- Fangsong_37
Lana Parrilla GIF by Paramount+GiphyGo For The Jugular
"You've sure gotten old."- drpepper1992
About Face
"Run."- saus_blu
Remain Amicable
"Have a chat."
"We are still friends."- Mentalfloss1
Meg Ryan Comedy GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyOf course, the worst element of surprise is having no idea how we might react.
Try as we might to plan just what we'd do should we ever run into an ex, we can't possibly know what will actually happen should that moment arrive.
Though, hopefully it won't ever lead to defecating on the street.