Sometimes in life, we make mistakes. Those mistakes can lead us down a path we never thought we'd lead. We can even feel regret.
Regardless of what it was, whether a small mistake was made or a life-changing decision, we learn our lessons. Those lessons we can then share with those around us and hopefully they learn as well.
We went to Reddit to know what things people have done once before and learned never to do it again.
Redditor Beyond_Human_202 asked:
"What's something you never want to do again?"
Let's see if we can take a page or two from these Redditor's books.
Putting energy into an unbalanced relationship.
"Waste time on a person who doesn't put the energy in the relationship as I do. This is draining."
"Yeah it is better to stay out of relationships where things are not mutual."
"Oof same. Not long ago I left my ex who couldn't even be bothered to come with me to my aunt's funeral. It made me crazy cynical and not hopeful for my future prospects. I've since found someone who wants to spend time with me, who listens, who cares about my wants and needs. I've felt more love from him in 6 months than I did in a 7-year relationship. If you haven't found who you're looking for yet, I wish you luck. They're out there."
"I had a friend whom I met at work. We both left that job so it became more difficult to see each other. I put a lot of effort into making plans but started to get annoyed that frequently she would show up late or say she couldn't stay long because she had other plans. Once I waited outside her door for twenty minutes before she drove up."
"I realized I was always the one to text or call I was always the one to make plans so I just decided to see how long it would take her to notice if I didn't text first. It was a over year later and it start with 'heyyy girlie!!' Then there was some schpeal about lipstick that doesn't come off."
"Preach. Learning to identify those people earlier is a skill I have had to sharpen. I was trying too hard to see the good in people that wasn't always there."
"Disappoint someone I care about..."
"I also want to stop being disappointed in people. I don't know why I am always so shocked when I find out yet another human sucks. Why am I this way?"
"For me it's lying to somebody who I love. It's so hard to disappoint someone but its not worth a lie."
Been there, done that.
"I would do it again if I could go back with all the memories I have now."
"Reliving it as I did the first time, though, f*ck no."
"Idk man, that almost sounds worse. Giving up all your adult freedoms and privileges. Dealing with high school level conversations and relationships. If you really wanted a redo you could probably use your current knowledge to rock your way through high school, but there would be a ton of downsides."
"Honestly I think high school would be easy as a do over, from class work and not being involved in as much petty BS because of experience and perspective... but then I think, you'd have these memories and this perspective but how much would that be compromised by being in a hormone flooded teen body again? How much of teen obnoxiousness is chemical vs perspective related?"
"The hardest part wouldn't be the other teens: it'd be the adults. Will never forget the conversation with the assistant principal halfway through freshman year where he misspelled my name, and then when I corrected him politely he looked me in the eye, grinned, and answered, 'I know,' without correcting a letter. Then he held that gaze to stare me down."
"Was in his office to take care of routine paperwork because I was transferring into that school. He was a massive jerk who knew he could get away with baiting a fourteen-year-old, and I was an honor roll student with no disciplinary problems. What a nightmare that man must have been to the kids who made any minor mistake such as being late to class."
Now that sounds painful.
"Bite my tongue so hard that it lacerates and then later develops a nickel-sized canker sore that prevents me from eating and speaking for two weeks. Doctor had to prescribe lidocaine mouthwash because the pain was so unbearable."
"I can empathize as I get canker sores a lot from biting my tongue/cheek or otherwise. Debacterol is a life changer."
"My heart goes out to you. Those things REALLY F*CKING HURT but they don't look like a big deal so people don't get how misery making they are."
No amount of money should be worth this.
"Compromise my morals and standards for a sub-par paycheque."
There's actually record numbers of people quitting their jobs right now, probably for this very reason.
"Second guess myself...maybe...hang on..."
"Are you sure?"
"...um...possibly...I don't know if I am indecisive or not..."
The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh MyyyThe world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...
Puppies look cute, but...
"Raise a puppy. As cute as they are, they're little monsters."
"As I read that my 17 week old lab just pushed his way through the fly screen to get inside."
"I have raised 3 different Golden retriever puppies over the years, and while I loved them all , I will never raise a puppy again. It is very very difficult. I will likely just adopt an adult dog next time."
Addiction is a difficult illness.
"Meth and heroin. I'm 7 years clean and I've never thought about going back."
"I started dating someone and moved in with him, he was an alcoholic and started to abuse me, before I could get out he offered me meth and when I tried it I felt like I couldn't leave. I tried it because I was being abused, believed no one wanted or needed me, no one but him could love me, and meth is what he did."
"Later in that relationship he let me try heroin and it was a turning point, I was worse on it than I was on meth."
"He didn't want me to live there so we lived in a hotel for a few months, one night I got so drunk I fell asleep outside of the hotel room, I called my family, they picked me up, I called the police and then they came and picked me up and took me to the ER. I immediately got rehab and within two weeks I decided to leave him forever. A few weeks after rehab I went to my first NA meeting and my life changed. I never went back."
"Lose really nice friends due to my own insecurities."
"The thing with friends is that you can reconnect several years later, assuming both want to reconnect."
"Except I messed up really bad. I've tried to reconnect but the trust is just too broken..."
"I know what that's like. I messed up really bad too, man; the best you can do is try to show how sorry you are. Time doesn't heal everything. Hang in there."
"Something I've learned in life is that friends come and go. It's very uncommon to have a friend for your entire life. Learn from each relationship and know that more friends are around the corner even though they're harder to make as you age. Eventually you'll have at least one or two who really accept you fully, even when you f*ck up."
Oh this is heart breaking.
"Burying a child. My son died in 2016."
"I lost mine in 2020. I don't think we'll ever be the same. So sorry, Holly."
"I actually think that if I could get a single wish granted it would be to have all of my children outlive me. There is a correct order of people dying, and in that correct order your children should go after you do."
Fall in love again.
"Fall in love again."
"My wife would kill me if I did."
"You can always fall in love with your wife again."
"Haven't fallen out to fall back in. But, I will remember your words if time comes."
"Oh, I didn't mean that way. It's more of a frequent reminder on why she's the best! That's falling in love for me."
When disaster strikes.
"Finding the perfect woman at the wrong time is a recipe for disaster."
"Absolutely. Worst feeling when it's someone you feel you should have met long ago, but she met someone else and it will never happen, not in this lifetime. The feeling was great at first, but I kinda wish it'll never happen again since the disappointment is so crushing."
"Finding out you're the perfect woman at the wrong time is equally as disastrous. The universe can be cruel."
An unlikely broken bone.
"Break my arm on a pillow."
"It was in a pillow fight and it just broke, I don't even have weak bones it just happened. And cause no one including myself thought it was possible I turned it into a clean break 2 day later on some play equipment."
"Stress fracture maybe? Like it was already injured and the impact was enough to break it completely? I remember doing a set of push-ups and felt fine, but then I stretched my shoulders and heard my clavicle snap."
One of the worst jobs.
"I always thought it would be good to work both retail and food service, to give me a better appreciation for when I'm a customer. But after working retail for a year and a half, and then getting out of customer service entirely, I'm not eager to go back for that experience in food service."
"Never ever want to work retail again, I ended up at the ER after being overworked. I'll add night shifts too, my current job has night shifts, maybe it works for some people, but not for me."
"I did 26 years of hard time in retail, the horror. Plus it was a toxic environment, a lot of my co-workers and management were straight up c*nts. I would sit in my car for a while before walking in, just to mentally prepare myself. I quit and I'm so happy I did. It was bad for my health."
"I hope to complete my degree and pursue my desired career. The thought weighs heavy on my mind that I may one day go back to retail or have to work it as a side job once I'm out. I'm 5 years in since dropping out of high school, getting my GED, and taking a gap year before college."
"While it helped me a lot with my awkwardness and trauma that'd kept me socially repressed, the hard knocks of dealing with dramatic coworkers and my own life dramas has made for a difficult time. It was my first job that ended with a bad layoff, and at my second, things are often boring and droll as a smaller business. With the exception of the holidays.
"One of my bosses would mock me at my old job covertly or to others, and he was what urged me to have a health breakdown and 'leave.' Understandable there will always be douchebags in the world, but middle managers in retail are often hellions who lurrrrve bullying employees."
Waiting for a disappointment.
"Wait about a hour to get into a fancy club. They're not worth it."
"Yesss! In my mid-20s I went with some friends to a 'fancy' club because they really wanted to. The cover was way [too] high, coat check was way too high and mandatory, there was a separate cover charge to get on the dance floor and the drinks were overpriced and watered down. Such a dumb, expensive night. The DJ wasn't even good."
Knock on wood!
"Chemotherapy. Final session Monday, touch wood..."
This list goes in so many different directions, but it's important to look into all aspects of life when evaluating the path we want to lead going forward.
Your future is yours to determine, so why keep doing something that makes out lives more difficult?
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Some things are deceptively simple.
Oh, skydiving? That's easy.
Love yourself? Simple.
Who can't open a can of pickles?
ME! ME! That's who. I can't do any of the above simply.
It's all hard. And you know it too.
It's just designed to" look" easy only to bamboozle us.
Approach everything as a burden and live by a motto...
Redditor pterv2112 wanted to hear about the things that are truthfully not so simple.
"What looks easy peasy lemon squeezy but is actually difficult difficult lemon difficult?"
Monopoly. For the life of me, I can't get the hang of that game. I don't care anymore.
Play it...Saturday Night Live Happy Dance GIFGiphy
"Playing the triangle. A lot of my non-musician friends joke about how easy it is to play it. Then they actually hold the damn thing and look stupid."
It's A Lot!
"Work. I'm a lawyer and had a client call saying she needs a help with a merger, but 'don't worry, it's super easy peasy lemon squeezy.' That project took 6 months and I almost had a breakdown. She didn't understand why the bill was so high since it was SO easy."
"Gotta love how the layman lumps all lawyers together as the sleazy snakeoil salesman type without realizing or appreciating the sheer complexity of the legal work involved."
"Dancing. I wouldn't say it looks 'easy,' but when I see people do it, they're so good at it and it flows so well it looks easy. But damn, I just CANNOT get my body to do anything more than a bop and maybe some stupid arm moves. I'm 25 and dance like a 50 year old at a reunion. Dancers are so delicate and make it look so easy, it's honestly amazing. It's just hilarious when I try to do literally anything and fail horribly."
"Whistling with your fingers."
"My cousin taught me when we were in our tweens. It's come in very helpful whistling for the dogs and horses at feeding time."
"What I always wanted to learn was how my grandpa whistled without having to stick dirty fingers in my mouth. Nothing like cleaning stalls, then trying to whistle for horses with sh*t-covered hands. Washing them in near-freezing buckets of water wasn't a first choice either."
It's a...Studying Hand-Made GIF by Philippa RiceGiphy
"Drawing something from memory. Like a bird or something. In mind - yep that's a bird On paper - that's... a bird?"
Drawing birds is impossible; mine look like mules.
Go DeepDigging Blue Collar GIF by JC Property ProfessionalsGiphy
"Digging. Anytime it's shown in movies or TV it looks easy AF but the second you have to grab a shovel and break dirt... bleh."
"A basic physical exam at the doctor. Looks like a simple 'look at the throat' - 'listen to the chest' - 'yup they have a heart all right.' When in actuality Doctors spend thousands of hours practicing it so that when you come in with a murmur or 'Funny-looking-kid-syndrome' they can recognize it immediately."
"And yes, there are entire class sections on how to respectfully ask your patient to turn their head and cough as you push on their testicles (they're looking for hernias)."
"Street names. Everyone thinks it's great fun and likes to offer suggestions but every tree, lake, and other natural feature has at least a dozen variations which you can't repeat for emergency service reasons. That and you get cities which want a street name change anytime the road changes direction regardless of a logical break point like an intersection."
"'Natural' makeup. More work than 'regular' makeup."
"To be honest this reminds me of a video I watched of a visual effects artist explaining his job, If no one notices your work on the footage you've done your job well, its only when you mess up do people notice."
"This is painfully true for a lot of jobs. When nobody notices, it means you did an excellent job but no one will give you credit because they aren't even aware there is credit due. But the moment you slightly f**k up, you're the worst person in your profession."
The SqueezeAs If Lol GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Making lemonade. Sure squeezing one lemon is easy peasy, but do you know how much juice that makes? Not a lot."
I love Lemonade... the drink and the album... but I have no patience to make it.
Art is subjective.
As much as movies are universally loved, there are some that leave a big question mark.
Sometimes films, plots, and characters make no sense. AT ALL.
And that is uncomfortable for the ego.
Is it art?
Am I just dumb?
Why do I care?
Redditor erin214 wanted to discuss all the movies most of us just don't get.
"What movie do you just not get?"
There are so many movies to bring up. But we don't have all day... let's discuss.
I'm Lostdavid lynch GIFGiphy
"Mullholland Drive. David Lynch once said there is definitely a coherent story and you can figure it out if you just pay attention. I don't believe him."
"The Nut Job. I get that it's a kid's movie and the expectations aren't high but that movie feels 15 years older than it is and it's full of the cheesiest one liners over and over. It feels so low budget yet the cast is nothing but stars."
"It's just mediocre. Saw it once when it came out, laughed about it and enjoyed it then but never have had the urge to watch it again."
So many twists...
"Primer. Can’t follow it. I tried; I even looked up the diagrams. I cannot follow that movie for the life of me."
"I think it's just ok to not get it all. When I watch Primer I don't try to follow it all, I just understand the gist of it and understand that it does all make sense on paper and enjoy the show. Don't get too caught up in following all of the twists, it's too clever for it's own good. Really great movie, though."
"I consider myself a mild movie buff and pay attention diligently when watching any movie. But when I watched I’m Thinking of Ending Things with Jesse Plemons I had no sweet clue what was going on."
"In a nutshell: the only 'real' character in the movie is the old janitor who freezes to death at the end. Everything else is his delusional fantasy of how his life could/should have been, mixed with memories of the grim reality of why it turned out the way it did. We're observing his thought process."
Headaches...Screaming Jennifer Lawrence GIF by mother!Giphy
"I feel like mother is how I feel during a migraine. Everything is happening way too fast and I have no idea what’s going on."
Mother. Oh brother. That movie.
Bad MouthChristian Bale Oooo GIFGiphy
"American Psycho. It’s one of my favorite movies so I’m by no means bad mouthing it, but that ending drives me insane. I can’t figure it out. It makes no sense to me. What was the point supposed to be?"
Second Time Around
"Just to clarify, I didn't (don't) hate the movie, I even found the plot cool. But when trying to give it sense, I can't, because a don't fully get it."
"I actually liked it better the second time and I think it's because I watched it on a crappy sound system that drops all the low end bass and is mostly mids and highs, making the dialogue easier to hear. The basic entropy reversal premise is still too stupid to consider interesting or clever though. I can't suspend my disbelief in that idea."
I see the light...
"The Lighthouse. But I still loved it."
"I think it's about a man who is mentally ill and gets isolated along with someone he cannot stand, middle of the movie he does say that a coworker died and the film indicate that he killed him, which explains the scene where he smokes a cig by the beach and see all those logs approaching and he sees a body and he walks right towards it, maybe he regrets what he had done, his mind is certainly playing tricks on him, that's just my take."
"Cloud Atlas. I’m pretty sure you need to go on a mushroom samba to understand it."
"The book makes more sense. It's weird because there is a whole lot in the movie that is lifted very faithfully from the book but there are lots of little intangible bits that don't translate onto the screen well."
"I loved this one! I can see it's a confusing movie, though."EmileWolf
Jake AlwaysBlack And White Movie GIF by hoppipGiphy
"Donnie Darko. Do I really need a website, a book, and a director’s cut to understand a movie? A little exposition, please."
"I love this film and have seen both versions a number of times over the years. I can't explain it though, it's just a vibe I guess. Like that feeling you get when you've just woken up from a vivid dream and haven't adjusted to reality yet."
So many of these movies are on my list. It's them not us.
They say it's hard for workers to get fired from their jobs. That is unless, of course, the employee is self-sabotaging and has nothing at stake.
While there are many unemployed people desperately looking for work, there are apparently just as many of those who want nothing more than to leave a situation that makes them miserable, despite having a steady paycheck.
Curious to hear about terminated employees, Redditor bartertownbeer asked:
"What is the fastest you have ever seen a new co-worker get fired?"
Fired? How about arrested?
"During their onboarding training, they stole my bosses wallet on camera.... 1 hour in.."
Right Place, Wrong Time
"This is the opposite route here but I found it amusing. My boss was out of town and I managed a tea shop near a Starbucks years ago. This kid came in (foreign) and said he was supposed to start today. We were hiring and I trained him etc. My boss came back two days later and had no idea. The kid was in the wrong place but he stayed with us. Hired on the spot without even applying."
"We had a recent college grad that would use his corporate card for personal purchases. He figured that the company would just keep deducting from his payroll until it was paid off. He was fired after three months of constant reminders to stop doing it. I don’t think it qualifies as the fastest, because he lasted three months, but it was so idiotic."
The Longest Errand
"I work construction. We had 2 new hires that were friends starting the same day. Boss told one take a coffee order and come back. Took everyone's money and said he needed his friend to go with him cause it was a big order. They never came back."
"A 19 year old kid got hired to work the seafood counter. See him twice and then never again. Asked a coworker what happened."
"He had closed seafood one night and was walking out of the store and the 5 pounds of crab legs he'd stuffed down the back of his pants fell out in front of the closing manager."
Being under the influence at work never ends well.
"New guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won’t pass a piss test, as he used his only bottle of clean piss earlier that day when he hired in."
"Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles...just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild."
"I worked in a bar and a new girl started. At work, she seemed a little rough but was fine."
"One day she finished a shift, sat at the bar and ordered a red wine with lemonade and ice in it (not really relevant to the story; just shows she is clearly insane). Her boyfriend came in, they had a huge domestic in front of my manager and several customers and she threw her drink over her bf and dramatically stormed out."
And That's Why We Don't Hire Off The Street
"Worked at a steel processing plant (polishing, cut to length, etc) Everyone started off as temps, some for years, before getting hired in. Management decided they were short-staffed and the solution was to start hiring people full-time off the street."
"So this dude starts, full-time on day one, full benefits, more money, getting trained by temps who've been there for months, if not years. Everyone is mad resentful of this dude, obviously."
"Halfway through his second day he gets escorted out for testing positive for coke on his drug test."
"They didn't hire any more dudes full-time off the street."
Competence is of utmost importance. Having brains is a good place to start as well.
Fast Food, Faster Firing
"Heard this from a manager I worked with when I worked in fast food. There was this one kid who didn’t show up for work. He ditched work often, so the manager called around, couldn’t get anyone to fill in his shift, so she had to fill it for him."
"A few hours into his shift, the dude ditching SHOWS UP, with his friends, and orders food from that manager. She fired him on the spot."
Careful Who You Denigrate
"First day of work, he walks in, says 'what the f'k is up dumba**' to the guy that parked next to (didn't touch) his new Camaro he bought since he got hired."
"The guy was the CEO of the company I used to work for, on visit to our branch."
"Literally ten minutes into his shift he was signing release papers."
"Worked in a grocery store for awhile: new guy took a lobster out of the tank and removed the elastic bands on its claws, then proceeded to put it back in the tank. The thing murdered all the other lobsters in the tank."
Up In Flames
"Guy had been working a few days at a barn. Decided to smoke right by bales of hay. Manager saw him and fired him right on the spot. At farms, you don’t f'k around with fire."
Remember when I mentioned how it's difficult for people to get fired?
Yeah, let's scratch that.
Apparently, it's super easy.
A trial can hinge on one simple piece of information.
All it could take for a suspect to walk free or go to jail for the rest of their lives is one single fact.
With this in mind, some lawyers will do their best to make sure that this information is buried, legally and ethically one hopes, and will never be brought up in trial.
However, for this to happen, Lawyers will still need to know this piece of information from their clients, as it otherwise could be brought up by the prosecution, effectively ending the case.
"Lawyers of Reddit, what is a detail that your client failed to bring up to you that completely lost you the case?"
The Whole Truth...
"Opposing counsel: 'Isn’t it true you hit Victim in the face with a brick?"'
"Client: 'No. Marcus hit him with the brick. I hit him in the back with a piece of wood'."- lizard96golf
Thought She Was Being Clever...
"A buddy of mine case as a public defender."
"A gal was busted on drug charges, and told him she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her."
"He thought, ok we'll use that."
"Turns out, she didn't have any drugs on her when they arrested her because she just sold them to an undercover cop."- CheapCigars
Choice Of Clothes Can Make A Difference...
"My house was robbed."
"In addition to all the stuff the thief took, he also stole a bunch of my suits and all of my neck ties."
"I had a big collection, like 100 or so."
"However, the thief left fingerprints on a hard plastic box that I kept spare change in."
"Fast forward 3 months, the thief is caught in the act of robbing another house in the same neighborhood, same detectives on my case and this new theft."
"They fingerprint the guy and the fingerprints match the ones from my house."
"At the thief’s arraignment, I see him stroll in wearing my suit and my tie."
"I tell the district attorney, he says there’s really no way to prove it."
"However, the tie he chose to wear was a one of kind street map of San Francisco and I still had all the documentation to prove it."
"The district attorney’s eyes widen and he informs the judge."
"The judge has the thief placed under arrest again for possession of stolen property."
"The thief’s lawyer was dumbfounded."
"It was a nice end to a rough situation!"- West-Operationsuit and tie johnny bananas GIF by 1st LookGiphy
Never Depend On Technicalities
"Obligatory not my client."
"Company I worked for at the time was doing due diligence before acquiring a small tech startup."
"The COO of the tech startup was a well-liked guy in the company, friendly and outgoing."
"Though we had heard rumblings that the COO was rather hands-on with the work and with female employees."
"Apparently there was a walk-away package proposed to the COO that would let him keep a sizable portion of his post-acquisition bonus because a young woman who worked in their sales department had filed HR complaints against the COO and obtained counsel."
"I sat in on the meeting with the COO and the company's retained lawyers while they grilled him about his contacts with the young woman."
"The COO denied ever having contact with her within the company without multiple other people present, those people said his behavior toward her in the meetings didn't raise any flag."
"The COO emphatically denied having any contact with her outside of work."
"The lawyers asked the question a half-dozen different ways and each time the COO denied any out of work contact."
"Later we meet with the woman and her lawyer with the COO not present."
"Her lawyer gives us a rather graphic card that came with a bouquet of flowers addressed to her from the COO."
"The guy had an account with a florist linked to his credit card."
"When the company-retained lawyers confronted him he said, 'but I never had contact with her'."
"'It's not like I delivered the flowers myself'."
"COO got terminated for cause so no walk-away package."
"At her request the woman was given PTO until after the acquisition then moved to another one of the companies under our umbrella."- GuiltyLawyerseason 5 episode 21 GIFGiphy
Who Exactly Am I Talking To?
"We got to the deposition of my client and all set up."
"The first question is 'please state your name'."
"The client looks at me and says 'can we take a break?'"
"We do and she pulls me out in the hall to tell me she's lied to me about her identity."
"She's apparently a serial fraudster and has changed identities 7 times since the 90s."
"She apparently thought the other attorneys had some how figured it out and that's why they asked the question."- Philosopher422
It's The Little Ones That Get You...
"Minor traffic cases can be the worst for this, believe it or not, because they are short and simple and often times the client isn't there, so if you get blindsided by something critical there's often no chance to consult with them to turn things around."
"I had a simple speeding case, 70mph in a 55."
"No big deal, if she does a driving improvement course they court will usually dismiss or reduce those, since her driving record wasn't bad."
"When I showed up for her, I found out that she had been driving 70 up an unplowed snow lane, to get around all the others cars traveling in the lane that had been plowed because they were driving too slow."
"I didn't know it was even possible to drive 70 on fresh snow."
"The officer stated he'd already cut her a break by not writing the ticket for reckless driving, and the judge politely agreed he didn't feel comfortable reducing it under those circumstances."
"When I called her up after court to confirm, she did, claimed she'd just forgotten to mention it."
"Now maybe I've lived too much of my life in the south, but that just boggles my mind as a detail you'd forget when hiring a lawyer for that incident."
"I would have told her in advance that hiring us was a waste of money, not to mention the hassle of taking an 8 hour class, and she should probably just go ahead and pay this one."
"I legitimately do that all the time during consults."
"Give my honest assessment if the case is even worth doing, and so by omitting that detail she harmed herself for no reason."
"At least she took it well and didn't get defensive."- AmberWavesofFlameDriving Get Away GIF by Zella DayGiphy
Despite the longstanding negative connotations which come with them, lawyers are there to help you.
So it's always the best decision to tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, especially if you're paying for their services.
That, or just obey the law so you won't need one.