Top Stories
Incredibly Satisfying Revenge Stories

Incredibly Satisfying Revenge Stories

These Parents Have The Most Unsettling Kids

These Parents Have The Most Unsettling Kids

Sleepover Horror Stories

Sleepover Horror Stories

These Entitled Jerks Made Us Rage

These Entitled Jerks Made Us Rage

These Fathers-In-Law Are The Worst Of All Time

These Fathers-In-Law Are The Worst Of All Time

People Share Secrets They Meant To Take To The Grave

People Share Secrets They Meant To Take To The Grave

Teachers Share The Most Depressing Thing Their Kids Have Ever Said

Teachers Share The Most Depressing Thing Their Kids Have Ever Said

Teachers Share Their 'This Child Is A Sociopath' Experiences

Parents Describe The Worst Thing They Ever Confiscated From Their Kid

Parents Describe The Worst Thing They Ever Confiscated From Their Kid
Phil Goodwin/Unsplash

Parents often seem like super heroes juggling all that life gives them.

Some parents work while raising little ones, some are raising kids as a single parent, some parents are full time parents.

Regardless of the situation, parents can watch their kids like hawks and still they manage to get into things that parents never thought they would.

We went to AskReddit to hear from parents on what the worst thing their kids got into that they had to confiscate.

Redditor Slik2665 asked:

"Parents of Reddit: What is the worst thing you have seen/confiscated from your child?"

Some of the things in this list were funny, but others were down right dangerous.

A small tin.

"My two year old ran up to me with a small tin she found on the playground. I opened it up and found some meth."

- killerqueen5

"Woah, I’m so glad she found that and brought that to you, I could only imagine if a kid found that and didn’t bring it to their parents like your daughter did."

- montananhooman

All she wanted was a sister.

"I had to take an axe off my 6 year-old daughter because she was fed up with having two brothers and wanted to get rid of one so she could have a sister."

"She's now 32 and hates me reminding her about it."

- bertiebastard

"The next time I see a 6 year old I'm sprinting."

- Creeper_LORD44

"She was like something out of a horror movie dragging a huge axe behind her."

- bertiebastard

The tantrum even scared the police.

"So, my oldest son, until we finally found a doctor and the right medication, was very difficult. You've seen that condom commercial with the kids who wants candy and the Dad in the shop?"

"Think that, but over, well, anything. Doesn't want to go to bed? Screaming fit. Doesn't like what's on TV, screaming fit. He's cold? Screaming fit. You try to put extra clothes on him because he's cold? Screaming fit. He doesn't want a bath? Screaming fit. He doesn't want to get out of the bath? Screaming fit."

"He was also violent. He'd scratch, hit, bite, throw things, etc. Even when he wasn't upset, sometimes he'd do it just because he thought it was funny to see someone in pain. I have a twin set of scars on my rear from him copying a cartoon and stabbing me with a barbecue fork."

"It should be noted, we never gave into these tantrums. They'd end when he got tired or when he got distracted or when his own tantrum gave him a headache, so it's not like he was getting rewarded and incentivized for them."

"So, because of these, we regularly got visits from Child Protective Services. Hearing a child scream like that several times per day the neighbors were understandably concerned."

"On one of these visits after yet again confirming that there were no marks on him and seeing video we took off how the process went (he demands something unreasonable, we say no, he erupts) we're standing in the front lawn with the CPS rep and two Sheriff's when he runs out of the house at the Sheriffs with a chefs knife in his hand raised over his head. He runs between me and his mom and I snatched the knife right out of his hand with him still running by. His mom then grabs him and he starts struggling, clawing and biting."

"The Sheriff's were shaken and dumbfounded by how quickly and calmly we did it. They also came into the house to see how he'd stacked furniture to get to the knife block on top of the fridge. And seeing as how they'd been with us the entire time and gone in the kitchen themselves before going outside, they knew he'd done it himself."

"After that they never bothered coming out again."

- Emperor_Cartagia

"I really can't comprehend how good of a parent you are having a child like that will make me go insane."

- wally_north

"I'm am far from perfect, but I do my best."

- Emperor_Cartagia

A zip lock bag.

"Not me, but brother-in-law found my nephew with a zip lock full of warm urine. The 6 year old claimed he was using it as a hand warmer. I just find stuff my klepto 5yr old steals from daycare."

- TCtheThunderRooster

"My mom found 5 of my brothers in a circle outside, they don't usually get along so she knew something was up. They had a bag of pee, they all contributed, and were trying to light fires with it (like using a magnifying glass with sunlight). Apparently they saw it on some kind of survivor man show."

- ambereatsbugs

"I feel like you could have tested this with regular water instead."

- journalissue

She liked the taste.

"My daughter decided that she likes the taste of spiders for a while, so we had to keep her away from spiders other wise she would eat them, those were fun times."

- DMWv1

"I'm crying from laughing. I'm so sorry. I'm just imaging you pleading with the spiders to leave for their own good. Meanwhile your daughter is running around eating them."

- wheres_mayramaines

Kids are gross.

"When my brother was a baby he and our mom were playing outside when she got a call. She left to answer the phone and when she returned my bro had taken his diaper off and was playing in it. Horrified, my mom went to get him and he grabbed a handful of his shit, held it up to her and proclaimed 'muuuud!'"

"Later on when he was 6 or 7 he found a rubber bracelet in the road. He put it on and was so proud of his new bracelet. He wore that thing for half a day until he had to use the bathroom so he went inside. Remembering his new found piece of jewelry he went to show my mom who immediately recognized what it was. Someone driving down our street had thrown a used condom onto the road that my brother found after it had been run over a few times."

- WhenThePiecesFit

"This reminds me of when I found a set of acrylic fingernails scattered across a playground, I was horrified because at the time I thought someone's fingernails had actually fallen off their hands."

- trebaol

It's not what you thought it was for.

"Once my dad find a old rusty box cutter in my drawers, he start shouting with me because he thinks that I was using to self harm, but I was using for open candy packing."

- vaa_10

"Think your kid is having suicidal thoughts and/or self-mutilating actions? Yeah, yelling at them will help."

- MattKitten11

She wanted to escape.

"My car keys, a USB charger, and some change in my 2 year old's little backpack (she was planning an escape I guess). I couldn’t drive my car for a week and had been just about to tow it to the dealer to have a key made. Little sh*t."

- ExactPea9707

"She had enough of your sh*t and was leaving."

- Total_Ansh

Adult juice.

"It wasn’t in my kids possession yet, but one of the neighbor kids brought over “juice” for everyone. They were segrims whine coolers. The 6 year old had already had one. Turns out their mom bought them for them thinking they were juice and she was so embarrassed. They’re from another country and the box it came in really makes it look like juice."

- Dre6485

"A family we knew made homemade root beer and accidentally brewed it too long, their baby got a little tipsy."

- SgtVinBOI

Weird toothpaste

"When my sister was young, I told her to go brush her teeth before we left to go home because we were at our grandmother's and I knew it would be too late for her and she wouldn't do it once we actually made it there haha..."

"Well anyway, she comes out with the toothbrush in her mouth and said this toothpaste grandma has does not taste good at all and I walked over to see what it was and it was vagisil cream not toothpaste lmao"

- Jmee5

A Cigar?

"Not my kid but when I was a kid."

"Family was at the house. My grandmother suddenly asks why my sister who was running around the backyard has a cigar."

"It was dog sh*t. In her mouth."

- mills1127

Bury The Skull

"When I was maybe 6 or seven I was at the playground with my friend and both parents. While messing around me and my friend found a heroine pipe in the shape of a skull that had been used and buried in the wood chips and we thought it was some sort of pen? I’m not sure why."

"Then we brought it to show to my parents and they didn’t explain what it was but just told us to go bury it again and after that we left."

- lagunamk22

The one Fake knife

"I’m was the child in this situation, (I’m about to turn 31 at the end of the month,) but last time I went to go visit my parents, I found this plastic switchblade I had from some Halloween costume as a kid in a cup with pens and markers and other random stuff on a junk storage shelf in a closet."

"I laughed and asked my mom why she still had it, and she told me she didn’t know it was fake and found it in my room as a kid and was very concerned that I had a dangerous, illegal, weapon.”

"Switchblades were/are illegal in that state I grew up in."

"I was a rebellious emo kid so I could see why she’d be concerned, but it was legit probably from a Spirit Halloween store or like Walmart. It's not even remotely convincing as real lol"

"It’s also funny because I had probably at least 3 real pocket knives."

- martashirt

Tiny Hitchcock

"We once woke up around 5 in the morning to our then daughter of two years, standing next to our bed, claiming: 'Mommy, look, I found the glittery knife!' "

"We immediately knew what knife she was talking about: a 25cm, glittery grip, pointy double tip, multi purpose kitchen knife she had somehow rummaged out of a drawer."

"But even if we failed to recognize it from the description, we'd have known it from the way she was holding it over her head, in perfect Hitchcockian pose, pointing at my wife... I've never seen my wife fully awake THIS FAST. "

- davil-the-devil

A Fancy Pen

"My step-son… 9yo… he is so sweet and helpful. He brought me a 'pen' he found in the trash can in the bathroom. He thought it was thrown away by mistake."

"Such a genuine smile and happy to be helping me recover what was obviously a very fancy pen! Would have been awful if it was gone for good!"

"I quickly grabbed it from him and told him 'Don’t touch anything. Go wash your hands really really good. WITH SOAP!' ”

"Had to explain to him that the 'pen' was a part of a special kind of 'bandaid' that ladies sometimes have to put inside their bodies. He is very curious and will not take 'I’ll tell you when you’re older' as an answer."

"Really interesting conversation with his mother later…"

"He brought me a used tampon applicator. God I love that kid."

- sinskins

Spider friends

"When my sister was about 3-4 years old, she would run to her room to play with her “friends”. My mum had figured she had an imaginary friend, until the day she walked into the room to play with her and found she was having a tea party with a dozen or so Redback spiders."

- Elsy8

Faces are flammable

"My son is very tall for his age and he could reach the counter tops by the time he was 2 (not see anything on them, but could put a grubby little hand up on top)."

"Well my husband and I , not used to having to shove stuff on the countertops back further yet, left a blow torch we used to make creme brulee on the edge of the counter."

"I turn around to find my son as I heard him come into the kitchen and when I turned around again I had to watch in slow motion as he looked into the head of the torch (like you would a kaleidoscope) and squeezed the trigger."

"Thankfully my reflexes kicked in and I was able to swat it away from his face and on the ground, probably milliseconds from lighting his whole damn face on fire....I had to use my inhaler after that one, almost had a panic attack."

- MrsShort

Thank goodness these parents were able to get their hands on some of the more dangerous materials their kids got into.

Luckily, no one in these stories got hurt! So it's okay if you laughed a little.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

Related Articles Around the Web
parenting

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

– OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

– CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

internet rumors

People Share Their Best 'Don't Ask How I Know That' Fun Facts

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

dont ask

People Break Down The Times They Had To Sober Up Real Fast

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

The Most Ridiculous 'First World Problems' People Have Heard Someone Complain About

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.


problems