Kids say some seriously whacky stuff sometimes, it can be disturbing, especially when they tend to discuss people who are not there. When the imagination is heading into "The Sixth Sense" territory, it may be time for a visit to the therapist. Now almost all of us had imaginary friends at one point in life. It is a very normal, common part of childhood. But much like the real friends in corporeal form we make in life, sometimes certain relationships are toxic and not a good influence. And separation is called for.
Redditor u/xX_ENTROPY_Xx wanted to hear about people's children's besties that they haven't laid eyes on by asking..... What's the scariest story you heard a child tell about their "imaginary friend"?
Hit the Road Jack
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My oldest when she was 4. She had an imaginary friend named Jack who lived under our back porch. And he liked to shove sticks down people's throats. I discouraged playtime with Jack.
Monkey & Cowboy
My son was 2-3 and always had a bunch of imaginary friends. The most frequently mentioned were Monkey boy and the cowboy. When my son was 2 he woke up one night screaming. I ran in his room and he was terrified. He kept pointing at the corner and saying that Monkey boy was bad. I ended up picking my son up and putting him in bed to sleep with me. The next time he was 3 and we were taking a walk with his younger sister in the stroller.
I'm pushing the stroller and he's walking just behind me. He keeps saying " owww stop it" or " please stop! " I keep looking behind me at him and see nothing. I stop and ask him what's hurting him. He says " the cowboy is hurting me mommy" I tell him that there is no cowboy by us. He says " yes there is. It's the cowboy in my head" kids are creepy sometimes.
Mean Don....
When my daughter was a toddler she randomly started talking about a man named Don. She always described him the same way and didn't seem scared at all, despite bringing him up every day. She didn't go to daycare and we didn't know anyone named Don. Then one day she got completely freaked out, wouldn't walk around the house alone in case she ran into Don, wouldn't sleep in her own room, and would talk about how she hated him because he said "mean words" to her all the time. About a year into "mean Don" we bought a new house. Once we moved she never spoke of him again.
Ganga
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My son had this imaginary friend - Ganga. She lived in the nearby pond, had duck feet, hair all over her face, ate through a slit in her neck and we were expecting her any minute for dinner.
He was totally chill with this horrific monster idea, yet he had recurring nightmares about a puppy coming into his room. Kids are weird.
Humpty?
My youngest niece had an imaginary friend and when my sister told me about it she said "ask her what she looks like"
"Ok, what's she look like?"
"Broken pieces."
"...Oh.. why's she broken sweetie?"
"She fell from our tree"
Nope. Sorry sis you're on your own.
Mooky likes to Watch
My cousin was a few years younger than me and he had an imaginary friend called 'Mooky'.
Mooky wasn't human, but some kind of alien/monster thing.
Used to freak me out when I'd hear a noise behind me at my grandparents house and my cousin would calmly say "It's only Mooky, he just wants to see you."
I Know Her
So maybe not scary but definitely weird.
When I was little I claimed to have an imaginary friend, who had light brown hair and wore a night gown, and she had stars for eyes.
Well, my niece was living at my old childhood home and she told me that she has a friend who misses me and she asked why I went away. When I asked who, she described my old imaginary friend. It was super spooky.
Edit: I have been informed that this is scary, my apologies.
In the Fire
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My cousin had an imaginary friend who she said used to live in the fireplace and "was red and patchy" - as if she was burnt. Apparently she was a little girl who wore funny clothes that "looked like olden day clothes". Still spooks me out!
The Lonely
My son stopped talking to his imaginary friend for months after my nephew, who was 15, took his own life. My son, who was not quite 5, was the apple of his eye. My nephew treated my son like a little brother, and since his mom watched my son while I worked, they spent tons of time together.
I had simply told my son his cousin was sick from sadness and he'd died. I would remind him every time before we went to their house so he wouldn't pester my sister about where he was. One day he said "Mom, you keep saying he's not here anymore, but he IS. He sits on my bed before I go to sleep and talks to me." He would NOT be dissuaded. This went on for months. He knew things we did not speak about around him that happened.
My nephew's grandpa on his dad's side passed a few months later. That's when my son told me his cousin told him he wouldn't be able to visit anymore. He was going on a train with his grandpa, and they couldn't come back again. Last thing he told him was to never play with guns, they weren't safe. My nephew took his life with a handgun. Wigged me the hell out.
Bless Us
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A kid said he didn't want to go to church because "my invisible friend says he cant follow me in there."
Ricky
Bro, me.
His name was Ricky, he lived in the mirrors and wouldn't let me change. I vividly remember saying something along the lines of, "Ricky, please don't watch me while I'm changing", "Ricky, go to a different mirror, I have to take a bath".
Like, what???
"orange doggie"
My son was two, he started to cry in the middle of the night and say an "orange doggie" was under his cot. This went on for at least a month, he would describe the Orange doggie as having sharp teeth, stealing his dummies and biting his lips and face until there was blood. He's 16 now and still remembers it vividly.
Who she is?
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My friend's kids used to wake up at night and tell us there is an old lady in their bedroom. Freaking best not be.
Paris Jaris
My youngest sister(4 at the time) had an imaginary friend named Paris Jaris. My dad had built her a small playhouse in our backyard where my mom could see and hear her while she was in the kitchen. My sister would have tea parties and such with her imaginary friend. One day mom heard her say "don't worry, as long as I'm alive they won't hurt you." She paused and said "well if you do that then I can't help you, it's not nice to kill people."
When my mom asked her what that was about my sister said "sometimes I have to tell Paris to be a nice person or he can't visit anymore." We moved not to long afterwards and she didn't get a new playhouse.
Framed Harold
My when my cousin and I were kids she casually mentioned she had a "friend named Harold who lived in the picture frames. Their entire hallways was lined with picture frames, and she would always hold her breath when she walked by them. Anyway one day we were hanging out in their unfinished basement and she pointed to a beam in the far back corner and stated very bluntly that "That's where Harold sleeps."
She's Gone
When my son was 3-4 he started talking about his wife. He would say she was outside, and very sad. I remember him putting his hand on his heart and saying he missed her, but we couldn't let her in- she needed to move on.
Ms. Mim...
I have a younger relative who used to talk about her imaginary friend, Ms. Mim.
Ms. Mim looks down on everyone, not because she's arrogant but because she is always floating high up on the ceiling.
Ms. Mim is always wearing her favorite white dress and holding a big clear towel (a wedding dress and veil).
Ms. Mim's neck is always bent.
Ms. Mim cries a lot.
Ms. Mim hates our grandma.
When we mentioned this to grandma, she told us she had a friend who hanged herself in her wedding dress after her groom left her at the altar.
I asked that same relative if she remembers Ms. Mim, but all she could recall was that weird crying she heard sometimes.
Holy Water Needed
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"I'm talking to Ms. Lady."
"Who's Ms. Lady?"
"The white lady with black eyes and long fingernails!"
Cue me searching for the nearest exorcist.
In the Attic...
CONTEXT: My bedroom was in the attic...
When my brother was 4 he told me about the man who lived in the attic. Apparently he would hear someone walking around in the attic when I wasn't in there. He said he'd seen someone's head poking out of the hatch watching him at night, and that he was sorry he'd been too scared to do anything about the man in my bedroom.
If that wasn't bad enough one time I was hanging out in his room one day when he went quiet out of no where and when I asked what was wrong he said "he's back" and I swear to god I heard footsteps coming from the attic.
I no longer live with them. I was talking to the same brother (now aged 10) about him taking the bigger attic bedroom now it's empty. My youngest brother (5) immediately answered, "but where will the man live?"
Green means Go
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My son has always talked about "the green lights that come visit him".
4yr old: The green lights came to me again last night.
Us: Oh, OK. Are they friendly?
4yr old: They don't have mouths.
... Sometimes they go into your room.
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Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.