People Describe The Most Distressing Paranormal Activity They've Ever Experienced
Is the paranormal real?
While there are plenty of skeptics, there are many who insist that it is, and that they have the experiences to prove it.
And suppose you do think the paranormal is a thing. It would likely scare you. It might even scare you a lot. So much so that you'll be writing about it years later on a Reddit forum.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor Kangaruan asked the online community:
"People of Reddit who have had extremely distressing paranormal activity in their homes, what's your story?"
"When my son was 3..."
"When my son was 3 he started having dreams and visions of people coming out of holes and dancing in his room. He said they were trying to tell him something. He also said he would wake up to see faces in the dark and they were screaming at him."
"There were many nights when his screaming would wake me up and I would run into his room. It honestly sounded like he was being attacked. One night in his room he was telling me about one of his experiences I saw a streak of white light move up over his face."
"Another time I ran into his room and he was up on his knees looking around the room. I didn't say anything and just continued to watch him in the dark. This went on for about 15 minutes and finally he looked at me and he said one word, "Manya" - it was apparently his name for whatever spirit he was seeing."
Another time on the baby monitor and we heard a loud male voice say, "Stop that!""
We happened to know a mother and daughter psychic team and enlisted their help. They tuned in and both said they saw an evil old man spirit from the 40s who brought in other souls to make mischief. He also smoked a cigar (we often smelled cigar smoke in our hallway outside my son's bedroom)."
"They tried cleansing the house remotely (they lived in another city). We thought all was good until one evening we were walking into our dining room to sit down when my son went flying forward into the table. He started crying and said that someone pushed him from behind."
"We kept our son in our room that night and my wife and I both heard what sounded like an old man making gagging noises from my other son's room (he was 11 months old)."
"Our friends put together a whole team and they came and cleansed the house. It was quite a process and our neighbors probably thought we were real weirdos but they got the job done. We haven't had any issues in ten years. It was really scary!"
This is actually pretty creepy... it's the stuff of horror films.
"To this day..."
"My story isn’t extremely distressing, but it’s halfway there. When I was younger (4th-5th grade) I lived in a small house that was really dark and quiet at night. I always woke up around, what felt like midnight most nights and would look for something to eat in the kitchen."
"So one night as per usual, I woke up and went to grab the first slice of bread from the new bread my mom bought that day. The kitchen is completely dark aside from the two small windows that were fogged so no one could look in."
"There was this small corner around my fridge that was just dark. Like darker than the rest of the kitchen even when there was light hitting it. However, I was partially asleep so I didn’t think much of it. So when I went to grab the slice of bread something hit me in the face. I went to wipe it off my face and all I felt were just long, long fingers."
"I was terrified and ran back to my room and as I ran I could hear and feel something chasing me and I could hear all kinds of things falling behind me as I ran back to my room frightened. When I got to my room I shut my door and felt my eye and it was bleeding. To this day I have a scar."
"Never have I encountered something that terrifying again."
That's not extremely distressing to you? What does it take be extremely distressing then?
"Things would slide off of the back of our vanity..."
"This probably doesn’t fall under “extremely” distressing, but I’ll put my story down."
"The earliest memory I have is of an experience with an apparition, based on what I know, I was no more than 3 years old when I saw it. Parents didn’t believe me, always had some explanation for me. We moved houses and tiny things would happen here and there, but once again my parents always chalked it up to an overactive imagination."
"There was a full body apparition that both my brother and I saw as it walked past a doorway while we were home alone. Fast forward to getting married and moving into an old apartment, things start to heat up a little bit. Bins would get flipped over and the contents dumped on the floor."
"Things would slide off of the back of our vanity (about 18 inches deep) and fly 3 feet to hit the footboard of our bed, not gently. More activity then I had experienced before but still not a lot. We moved into an almost brand new apartment, and while one or two things happened things calmed down significantly."
"Then we moved in with my in-laws while my husband went to school. Queue the real events. The house would go through periods of high activity, particularly centered around me. My husband would hear me calling him from another room, I wouldn’t be calling him."
"He would see me pass by the bottom of the stairs as he was coming down and would follow me all the way around the corner into the far room only to dead end with the room empty. I came in from the chicken coop to him upset because I’d been calling him from all over the house."
"I’d been outside the whole time. It would make one of the dogs go absolutely feral, barking and snarling at nothing. I would have small, soft items thrown at me. I would hear clapping and walking around the house, and the dogs would go looking for what made the noise."
"Here’s the main story. My husband was working nights and I was home alone on the farm while the in-laws were out of state on a trip. One of the dogs goes into an episode, staring at nothing in the middle of the living room absolutely losing it, rabid dog."
"I CAN'T get her to calm down. Usually a light touch on the back will snap her out of it but I could not call her off this time. I finally go to my room to take a breather and I hear her stop. Maybe 15 minutes later she’s at it again. I can’t describe how terrifying it is to see her like this, like I said absolutely feral."
"I go halfway up the stairs and am talking to her through the bannister, finally get her to come over to me and stop barking. She keeps looking next to me at the top of the stairs, then a huge slam on the baby gate there happens, rattling the gate and the banister."
"I ignore it because I’ve heard that’s the best thing to do when something’s right next to you. The dog barks but I get her stopped again. Then right in my line of sight I see a pen slid forcefully off the table, flying multiple feet before hitting the ground."
"The dog immediately runs to attack, and goes into another fit looking at something next to the table. I start to lose it, immediately go back downstairs to my bedroom. I sit on my bed next to my cat napping there. He stands up and comes to me since I’m upset and crying."
"I hear the dog move back to barking in the living room, closer to my room. A minute later my cat turns to look at the doorway, his back raises up ears pin back and his hair stands on end looking straight at the doorway. I ran out of the house at that point."
"That was the worst it ever got. I have lots of other little stories though. I just moved into a brand new house and (knock on wood) nothing yet. I refuse to talk about paranormal activity aloud in any home I stay in, and I think subconsciously I pushed myself to only move into a new construction for fear of stirring anything in an existing house up."
"With what I know about the experiences through my life compared with where I was staying, I’ve kind of begun to think I might be a poltergeist. A new construction home was the only place I felt safe moving into. So while my story isn’t to the level of a horror movie, I’m happy to be out of old houses and apartments!"
Uuh, for the record, that falls squarely under "extremely distressing."
"My childhood home..."
"My childhood home was notoriously haunted. We moved into the house when I was around 6 and my brother was 3."
"It started slow with him and I seeing weird things at night and constant nightmares. Things would go missing only to return a few day later. We would constantly hear people talking, foot steps, and doors slamming when no one was around."
"Over the years is started to escalate and there are a lot of stories so I have included a few."
"One parent was in their bedroom during a party when they heard a child running and the door to their walk in closet creeked shut. She assumed it was me or my brother and went to open up the door. When she did some of the t-shirts that were hung close to the floor were swaying."
"Peaking out from behind them was a little girl she did not know. The little girl vanished before her eyes."
"I was home alone waiting for my boyfriend to come over. I heard him call my name so I came out of my bedroom and headed towards the front door. When I came to the stairs that separated my room from the front door I saw this...thing?... it almost resembled a person, pitch black, crawling up the stairs...it cracked its neck to look up at me and i ran."
"I called my boyfriend and he wasn't there yet. I hid in my room until he came."
"The last one I'll put is after my family moved out we rented it for a while. the tenant complained of similar things that we experienced in our first few months there. He went out of town and left his dog in the garage."
"His friend came to check on it and the dog was missing. He later fount the dog (who was fine just scared) locked in the crawl space that was completely separate from the garage and two closed doors away from where the dog was left. This crawl spaces was the worst place in the house for negative activity."
Excuse me, you're telling me that creepy vanishing things are a thing?
No thank you.
"This happened when I was 11 and visiting a lighthouse in Michigan that was supposedly haunted by a boy. My parents wanted to take a tour with the tour guide, but I wanted to play outside considering we had been touring various sites in the upper peninsula that day. No one was around, so my parents ended up letting me play outside the lighthouse while they took a quick tour."
"As I played outside, a really beat up ball rolled up to my feet. I bent over to pick it up, and as I stood back up I saw a boy standing next to the edge of the lighthouse looking at me. I assumed the ball was his, so I tossed it over to him and he wandered away."
"I didn't think any about it, but when my parents were done with the tour they asked what I did. I told them something along the lines of "I was just wandering around. Oh, and I helped this kid get his ball back."
"The tour guide was with my parents, and when I mentioned the kid he looked startled because as I mentioned earlier, there was no one other than us at the lighthouse. Only three cars. My parent's car, the tour guide's car, and the car belonging to the person at the front desk."
"The tour guide asked me to take a look at a picture in the lighthouse. I know this sounds super cliche, but when he showed me the picture, it was the picture of the exact same boy with the exact same beat up ball. Apparently, that kid died at the lighthouse. (On a side note, we checked around and there was no boy.)"
"So you might be asking me, why was this creepy, especially considering that the boy never scared me or tried to scare me. What creeps me out is that I touched that ball. When it comes to ghost stories, most people only report a ghost not other objects."
"Assuming that was a ghost with his ball. What the heck did I touch? Also, it felt solid, like a real ball. If it was a "ghost ball" then how the heck do you explain what I touched? This still bothers me to this day."
That's creepy! I really need to stop reading these late at night...
"Something was violently throwing the chairs..."
"While a friend (the biggest skeptic, I'd say) was sleeping over, him, me and my sister were discussing my friend's girflriend at the time. It was the middle of the evening, not too late and we were sitting in my sister's room."
"Something was violently throwing the chairs around in the kitchen. The sound was as clear as day. Thinking it was a burglar, we lock the door and press the alarm button."
"When the security guys arrive all the doors are locked and their s nothing amiss in the kitchen. This was truly frightening."
Does anyone know where the nearest church is? Anyone? I really need to get my hands on some holy water or something.
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Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked: 'What is the weirdest animal fact you know?'
People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.
Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.
One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823Cats Dragging GIFGiphy
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
Good Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
On A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
What About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
Or Two Sets Of Twins
"Armadillos always have offspring as quadruplets."
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
Who's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence
We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.
But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.
Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:
"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"
Time for an Upgrade
"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."
"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."
"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."
No More Spark
"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."
"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."
"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."
"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"
"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"
Misery Loves Company
"Now we are both broken."
"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."
Getting to Watch a Partner Grow
"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."
"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."
"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."
"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."
"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."
"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."
Not a Match
"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."
"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."
In Their Nature
"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."
"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."
The Importance of Boundaries
"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."
"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."
Happily Ever After
"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."
An Uncommon Ending
"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."
"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."
A Little Help from Our Friends
"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."
"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."
All Their Idea
"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."
A Helping Hand
"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."
"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."
"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."
"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."
"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."
"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."
Best Friends Forever
"It went well but it didn’t work out."
"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."
"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."
"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."
So Worth the Investment
"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."
"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."
"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."
"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."
"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."
In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.
There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinatecatholic the exorcist GIFGiphy
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleiaexercise push up GIFGiphy
Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologisturuguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy
At Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy
Not The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343dating app GIFGiphy
If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.