Being a parent is tough. As your kids get older, there's an impossibly fine line we have to walk between respecting our children's privacy and their growth as their own person, and our desire to protect our babies.
One Reddit user asked:
Parents of Reddit, what "secret" do you know about your kids that they don't know that you know?
Some of the responses were downright adorable, others tugged on our heartstrings. We grabbed a few of our favorites to share with you.
1. YouTube Search History
My 9 yr old son has started to search for "girls taking jeans off" on YouTube. I also found out he has a type by his latest search of "brown girls taking jeans off"
2. Secret Reddit Account
I know my kid has a Reddit account, discovered it when I tried to create a sub about a very specific thing he has created, and I wanted to document/archive all of his creations there for him to see a few years in the future, turned out it already existed.
Went through his post/comment history. He's such a naive and good boy! Couldn't be prouder, always asking questions and helping out people. Gave him gold, never told him.
Whenever me and my wife speak about Reddit stuff he says " wish I could have an account" or "I have never been there, how is it like?" or "that sounds boring"
He's got more karma than me.
3. You Cannot Fool A Master
My 19 year old son thinks I don't know he smokes. LMFAO child please, you cannot fool a master.
4. Unopened Mail
She's 21, still on my health insurance, still lives at home (helps out with some bills), and I generally pay all the medical bills for all my kids right now.
I don't open mail addressed to my kids, unless it's a medical bill. So without realizing it, I opened a receipt that the clinic sent her. It was fully paid, and clearly used the word abortion.
I don't judge her for it. But she clearly didn't want me to know, so I didn't say anything.
5. Nephew
I know that my nephew is gay. I don't know if my sister knows yet, but I know. He came to visit a few years back. I let him use my PC. He downloaded a bunch of gay vids and forgot to delete it.
6. Wet Lingerie
If my son finds out about this comment he will be mortified. I will probably have to delete it at some point:
My youngest son, at age 13, would take lingerie out of my dresser drawer, put it on, and wear it in the shower to "choke the chicken." I don't use my lingerie but noticed it in the laundry. My husband approached him and bought him some cheap lingerie for him to keep in his room. To this day he has no clue I know all about it.
- This was not recent, my kids are older now.
- It happened during puberty because he liked the feel of warm silk. It was for tactile pleasure.
- He got caught because he was leaving the wet lingerie in the laundry. Husband does all the laundry and I fold. I didn't know it was showing up wet so at first I thought my cat was getting into my drawer. Hubby suspected it was one of the boys and confronted them until youngest fessed up.
7. Disabled Parent
I know that she has days when having a disabled parent makes her thoroughly miserable, no matter how much she tries to hide it. I see it and see you kiddo, I know the difference when you are miserable and when you are genuinely happy. You know you can always talk to me, so when you are ready, I'll still be here with a hug and a cup of cocoa.
8. Stolen Weed
My 14-year-old left his phone at home recently. I never felt the need to scroll through it, but I figured I should just to make sure things were good with everything. One of his best friends was telling him that she stole some of her sisters weed stash and was wondering if he wanted to come over the next day and smoke it with her. His response was "No thanks, and I don't think you should do it either"
I was so proud of him. I wanted to give him a big hug and tell him how proud I was, but I didn't want him to know I was looking at his stuff. So instead I decided we would do a surprise ice cream trip, and when he asked for a double scoop I said yes.
I know in the grand scheme of things a little weed isn't bad, and I know at some point in his life he'll try it, but I'm not ready for him to do that kind of stuff yet.
9. Letting Her Know I'm An Ally
I stumbled upon one of my notebooks (I have a bunch of pretty ones on hand when I fill up my journals) in my daughter's clothes hamper when I was collecting laundry. She had written in it about being bisexual (she's going to be 13 next month).
I invited her to a family-friendly Pride Fest in my area, and while perusing buttons at a vendor booth, I found one that say "ALLY" on it and wore it. That night I told her I knew about her secret, and that I love her more than life itself and I was proud of her. She was incredibly relieved to not hold that secret anymore.
10. Coat, Check Yourself
When I was 16, I lied to my mother every Friday about going to my friends house to sleepover. Little did she know I was actually going to a club in my hometown where I had (again) lied about my age to work as the wardrobe girl. The night she found out was when she passed me her jacket and was shocked to see me working there. She told me she always knew I wasn't going to any sleepovers but she couldn't believe I was actually working rather than partying.
11. Invisibility Cloak
My son is 4. He still thinks he is invisible when he covers himself with a blanket. Our whole family has made a pact to act like he is. Things should be interesting in a few years
12. Hide The Wrappers
My little brother used to sneak all kinds of snacks and stuff and when he was done he'd "hide" the wrappers in the couch cushions, under his bed, in the VCR, and anywhere else you can think of. Our mother was a stay at home mom and did all of the house cleaning, it was always hilarious when he'd deny and honestly act offended when he was accused of putting ice cream sandwich wrappers in my dads work boots.
13. "Nobody Slurs When They Have Food Poisoning"
When I was 17, I got really, really drunk at my neighbor's. I was a total mess and was sick for hours (in retrospect, I probably should have gone to the hospital, but hindsight's 20/20). Two friends had to carry me back to my house, change me out of my vomit-stained clothes, and dump me in my bathroom.
They told my dad I had food poisoning.
When he told me years later that he knew I'd been drunk, I was shocked: how could he know? He snorted and said, "Nobody slurs when they have food poisoning."
14. Two Girlfriends
I know my son has two girlfriends and was lying to them both about it. I thought I had taught him better than that. I sat him down and told him he's not worthy of either of them for what he's doing. He whined about it. I decided he's too immature for a relationship and made him break it off with them both. It was that or I tell them both myself. He's mad, but he'll get over it.
15. "Electric Toothbrush"
Found out my parents could hear my vibrator recently when my father politely asked if I could "not use the electric toothbrush late at night" as it had woke them both up a few times.
None of use own an electric toothbrush. I want to die.
16. Fluent In French
My school district taught students how to speak French starting in Kindergarten. In high school my friends and I were pretty much fluent and would speak French over the phone to make secret plans to hang out after our parents went to sleep.
I learned in college that my mother is fluent in French. I always wondered how she knew I was sneaking out.
17. Lack Of Computer Skills
Found some VERY Dirty stuff on my browser history after my daughter spent the night (she was 14) and also a Google search on how to delete history, she was unsuccessful. I was very disappointed about her lacking computer skills.
18. My Little Pony
My 6 year old son loves to watch My Little Pony and other such shows on the iPad and whenever his mum or I enter the room he quickly turns it off and won't tell us what he was watching. He acts so embarrassed.
I can't count the number of times I've told him that there are no 'boy' or 'girl' tv shows, and the colours pink or purple are for anyone, not just girls.
Anyway, his friend came over and we were sat watching tv for a little while, and a My Little Pony playset was advertised. My sons friend immediately stated 'I hate my little pony, it's only for girls'. I didn't need to look at my boy to know how he felt, I could feel his heart drop in his chest. So I quickly stated 'well I love my little pony, it's so cool and it doesn't matter whether you're a boy or girl'. My son jolted up in the seat, looked straight at me with a look of shock and said, 'yeah me too!' He sat with a beaming smile on his face for the rest of the afternoon. Gender stereotypes are so tough to break.
TL;DR - my son secretly loves My little pony and his friend declared his hatred for it as it's only for girls. I jumped to its defense and my son loved it.
19. Amnesia
My little brother (11) does a lot of stupid sh!t then pretends he doesn't remember. Just yesterday, he lit fire to a box of tissues, and when asked about it, he fucking feigned amnesia. He pretended that he didn't know us. I talked to him about it and he thinks that our Mother believed him.
20. Dressing Like Our Lesbian Neighbor
I came out to my mom and she said she's known ever since I started dressing myself as a kid. Apparently I had a knack for dressing exactly like our lesbian neighbors (and was also really bad at hiding my undying love for the short haired army wife next door)
H/T: Reddit
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
Giphy
"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
Giphy
"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...