One time, my freshman year of high school, I really wanted to be 1996 cool, so I wore a floor length skirt and heels to school. Except I had never work either before and I'm not even 5 feet tall (so I was maybe 4'7" for this) so "floor length" skirt on me means floor length ... and then some.
I managed to get myself tangled, fall down a ramp, and cause the domino-style collapse of about 40 other kids.
I will have you know no amount of praying will cause the earth to open up and swallow you whole, body and soul, thus erasing your existence from the fabric of the universe. 9th grade me tried. Really, really hard.
So anyway Reddit wants to share some of their great moments in cringe, too. And I'm going to let them. Cause there's no way I'm taking this tumble by myself. I didn't in high school, certainly not about to start now.
Buckle up, homies. Away we go.
Aaaand Scene
Doing a practice for a play in front of a small crowd of like maybe 35 - 50 people when I pooped my pants. Middle of my lines a felt the wetness and had to run off stage. I kept my self locked in a room the rest of the day.
Experience
Went in for an interview for a banquet server position. I had no server experience, but I was imagining standing on the other side of a buffet line scooping food onto people's plates.
First thing this woman asks me to do is carry a tray full of dishes to the other side of the room. I have never done this, at all. But how hard could it be?
So in all my genius, I bend over the top of the tray, grab the sides (including the tray stand underneath) and shuffle to the other side of the room. Technically I did what she asked, but apparently she wanted someone with "experience".
Periodic Surprises
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I was raised Mormon, and they have these temples where you can go do rituals as a proxy for dead people so they can go to heaven (yes, its as weird as it sounds lol). The one teens do involves being baptized for someone who never was, and the Mormons do baptism by immersion (ie, they don't sprinkle water on your head, you're dunked, completely submerged, into a pool of water). You do this while wearing special all-white clothes the temple itself usually provides, including the underwear (which are the same as those weird white underwear garments you may have seen online in those "magic Mormon underwear" memes).
I got my first-ever period while in those white clothes, IN the baptismal font, age 12. 😐
Once got my period in the middle of a scene in a junior school play. I was 12/13.
A Little Too Excited
I was 19, working at a small, tightknit smoothie place. We got a new guy, he seemed nice. Not long after he started, he started talking about how his roommate was going to start there soon as well. The first time they worked together, I looked at them and thought, "Oh they are so dating."
They didn't really interact with each other that I noticed, barely even looked at each other. Not long later, I'm working with guy #1, we get to talking about dating and he reveals that him and his roommate are actually partners. I literally started jumping up and down, practically screeching:
"I knew it I knew it I knew it!"
🤮 I remember this every once in a while and hate myself all over again 🙃
Raw Meat
I was interested in a guy but didn't know how to start a conversation with him. We were standing next to each other while preparing food for a barbecue and I just thought it was a good idea to start a conversation with "I like the feeling of touching raw meat"
I guess he thought I was the weirdest person ever because after getting out of that situation he never really talked to me again. Don't worry tho, I'm over it.
Groping A Penguin
I was walking into an expensive hotel with a friend and I tripped going up the stairs. As I was stumbling, I reached for the handrail. I didn't notice there was someone standing against the railing until I grabbed his ass instead of the handrail.
He turned around and said "Sorry, guess my ass was in the way."
I couldn't look him in the face as I apologized profusely, but noticed he was a really tall guy (I am only 5'0" tall). While checking into the hotel my friend and I noticed there were lots of big guys walking around and commented on it.
Someone then told us that the Pittsburgh Penguins were staying at the hotel that night, and we realized I had groped a professional hockey player. I have no idea which player I groped as I was too humiliated to really look at him as I apologized.
- rma0623
A Real Puzzler
When I was 16 I got set up with a family friend's daughter. We started dating in a long distance relationship. After a month or so it was school holidays and I went up to visit her. I didn't have alot of money but I wanted to buy her a gift. A settled on a beautiful jig saw puzzle.
She wasn't too happy about the gift. Because she was blind. Yes I bought my blind girlfriend a jigsaw puzzle. In the moment it seemed very appropriate because I thought each piece was unique, right? She can feel the pieces right??
Pure effing cringe. Still haunts me.
"Ghost Version"
One time in like 5th or 6th grade, I was at my friends house playing hide and go seek "ghost" version. Basically it's hide and go seek with all of the lights off so it is dark.
Everyone who was anyone in our tiny town was there. We were the "cool" group. So, I was hiding right behind an open bedroom door. When the "seeker" came into the room I, obviously, couldn't see her. However, I knew she was there and then thought she left the room. So I had the bright idea to slam the door shut by kicking it with all of my awkward-middle-schooler strength. Lo and behold she was still standing in the doorway, super quietly.
That door damn near broke her nose when it hit her with the speed of light. Now, she was always a bit dramatic, but she absolutely LOST it. She yelled and claimed I did it on purpose. I felt absolutely horrible and started sympathy crying instantly. I apologized over and over. Then, she had the AUDACITY to tell everyone I was trying to be the center of attention while apologizing and making sure she was okay by getting ice for her nose and what not.
This is the most cringe worthy experience of my life as I obviously couldn't get mad at her for being mean and making everyone hate me since I had just turned her into a short nosed pug puppy on accident in front of all of our friends.
Racist Mom
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Oh man. Some context, my best friend growing up was black. We were inseparable, we wanted to make video games together when we grew up, all that.
Well, he went with me and my mom to the store. As we were driving, a man nearly ran into her car, and she shouted:
"Fcking ni**er!"
It got quiet in the car, so she turned and said to my best friend in the back "You're not the ni**er I was talking to," as a way to apologize.
I was young, but even then I knew something awful had happened. It completely changed how I looked at my mom and how my best friend looked at my family. We stayed friends, kinda, but I had to hang out at his house since he stopped coming to mine.
Couldn't blame him. Super-cringy, life-changing.
- Tonyadpx
Fired
The time my internet access was shot over a weekend, so I went to work as usual on Monday, and stayed and worked all day; and then when I got home my internet was back and I found out I'd been fired via e-mail the week before .
Small, very high-profile business. This was a very small firm. The owner was famous within the field; think of a celebrity with a staff of 7 people. No HR, no manager, just a small group of people glad to work there. I was there as a freelancer. Everyone was acting weird all day.
I soft-broil myself to sleep in this memory.
50 Yard Dash
Late response but I will remember this until I die. If I ever get dementia this will be the one memory I keep.
So I was on the swim team when I was about 11 or 12 and I had my first swim competition and it was finally my turn and I was super excited. Well the announcer said it was a 50 yard dash and I thought that meant two laps not one. Well when I finally finished the two laps I was still super proud of myself until I realized the entire room was now silent.
Awkward.
Oblivious To The Fart
Farted in class during a test back in middle school. Everybody knew it was me but I was too awkward to confirm or deny it so I just acted oblivious. That fart must've been pretty awful because a bunch of classmates around me covered their noses with their shirts and the teacher cracked open a window. Just the complete awkward silence that followed the fart and the feeling of everybody staring at me in disgust still makes me shudder with cringe whenever I think about it.
High School Musical
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For non uniform day in my last year of primary school I wore a red and grey striped zip up hoodie, a red corduroy skirt and underneath that blue jeans. I though I looked like hot shit, I had never looked so cool in my entire life until that day.
Then a boy in my class said I looked like someone from High School Musical and I started crying and then the teacher had to give a big impassioned speech about how we all have the right to wear whatever we want and nobody should tease each other because of their appearance. The whole time everyone was looking at me because I was still crying while this was going on.
I had done such a good job of burying that memory!
Kate Todd's Lap
I'm a Canadian and we had this show in the 2000's called Radio Free Roscoe. I was obsessed with this show! I watched it religiously on the Family Channel. My aunt had a friend who was a makeup artist for the show and so she managed to get us on set to meet the cast and visit all the different places. My 11 year old self was ecstatic! It was the most incredible thing to happen to me. My brother and make cousin went with us
We get to the set and it's amazing and everything I had hoped it would be. We got to see them film a scene and see all the behind the scenes stuff, it was incredible. We went to do the meet and greet with the cast and I was so nervous but excited. I'm an awkward girl and super oblivious especially when I'm nervous.
Kate Todd (the female co-star) was being super sweet with me because I was the only girl in our group. She called me over to sit with her for the photos and used her hand to pat the seat beside her.
Being oblivious I missed the seat pat and went and sat directly on her lap. I'm 27 years old now and I still remember her saying "Oh! Um, Okay" in a super surprised voice. I was mortified that I just sat on her damn lap like a baby instead of beside her like she intended. I honestly couldn't look anyone in the eyes again after that. I still cringe to this day thinking about sitting on her damn lap. She was super sweet about it but I knew I had fucked up.
Pajamas
So when I was 8 or so, some of my parents' friends came over, and they brought their son, who was a few years older than me. I used to really idolize that kid for some reason...he just seemed cool and was always friendly toward me. So this particular day I happened to be lounging around in my pajamas watching television and I hadn't expected company. I don't know why, because wearing pajamas (especially as an 8-year-old boy) is not that big of a thing, but I was absolutely mortified when the kid came into the room to say hi.
So I ended up running to the closet nearby and shutting the door. This was right in front of the kid. My parents couldn't get me out. The kid came up and through the door was like, "that's totally fine, bud, there's nothing for you to be embarrassed about, come out and play. If you want you can go change first."
But I wasn't having any of it. I was by this point more embarrassed about my reaction than being "caught" in pajamas, so I couldn't bring myself to come out until the kid and his parents left like two hours later.
The Ultimate Cringe
In 9th grade, I wrote a radio DJ a really nasty email because he didn't like Limp Bizkit.
- Bells87
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
