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Millennials Share Things Older Generations Don't Understand About Today's Job Market

Times change, and if you don't change with them you're likely to get left behind. That simple piece of wisdom applies to pretty much everything - up to and including the job market. It seems like a lot of older didn't get that memo, though.


So I'm standing in the store with my mother and she starts in again asking me when one of us (she means me, my partner or the father of my children) are going to get a "real job." All three of us freelance and she just cannot fathom why we would choose not to have a steady 9-5 job that offered benefits and a retirement plan. Of course I've tried explaining that they're not that easy to come by, but she is the head of HR for an international company and has had the same position for longer than many of you readers have been alive. She "grew" with the company and doesn't grasp how rarely that happens anymore. She's never faced a world where a company isn't willing to pay what she's worth, doesn't offer benefits, and certainly doesn't view employees as family members. We freelance because it pays way better and it affords us the freedom to not have to pay for daycare or aftercare costs - and almost nowhere offers health benefits that we can afford anyway, sooo... ?

One Reddit user asked:

What does the older generation not understand about today's job market?

And I kind of want to send all of these responses to my mom, but I'd rather not get into a fight that I know will last 42.68 lifetimes - so I'll passive aggressively write an article instead!


It's All Online

As someone who works in HR, please don't apply for a position in person unless you are specifically told to. Almost all applications are done online now. If you drop off a resume, you are actually making me do the work. I would have to create a candidate application profile in your name using your resume, apply on the job, and move you to the interview stage if you were selected.

When people fax or email resumes, I usually throw them out because I literally do not have the time to apply on your behalf. Older people think that it shows 'initiative' but it's actually a huge inconvenience and shows me that the applicant refuses to follow directions and cannot complete tasks as instructed.

- CommanderShift

You Can't Just Walk In

That you can't just walk into a company and walk out with a job. My dad and his friend walked into a factory in the early 80's and both left with a job (my dad still works for the same company to this day) he can't understand why I'm finding it so hard to find work now...

- The-Ginger-Lily


My dad thought the same thing. Then he retired from his 30 year job and went to look for work to keep himself busy. He later apologized, he really didn't think it was as bad as I told him it was until he started looking himself.

- TintenfischJoe


When I was unemployed my mom told me I should work for Google because they pay a lot and she heard it's a good company to work for. I told her I have a bachelors in a liberal arts field, and I'm not qualified to work for Google. "But you're so smart! If you just talked to someone there they would hire you because you're charming and intelligent! I would hire you!" I love my mom and I appreciate her confidence in me, but that's not how any of this works.

- mrs-morris

Loyalty Is Out

It's much more competitive, and much less rewarding. You don't owe the company you work for with extra unpaid hours or your loyalty and submissiveness since you aren't rewarded for that anymore, at least certainly not like they used to. Loyalty isn't the name of the game anymore. Flexibility is. You get a better opportunity at another company? Take it.

This is why job hopping is much more common now. Not because of "entitled youths", just because loyalty just isn't effective anymore. Loyalty is no longer rewarded and down right taken advantage of by the generation who reaped the benefits of being loyal. It's not their fault (individually at least), the hypercapitalistic society gave way to an economic crisis and as such cuts in salary, firing a lot of people and less rewards. A more capable workforce (more degrees) also leads to more selective and competitive employee choosing.

The job market changes over time, and the generations that grow in them are adapted to their situation. While the best move for them was loyalty, right now it's flexibility and adaptability.

The problem is they don't seem to understand that, and whine about the "lazy and entitled" younger generation.

- AlwaysBurningOut

My company gave me a .5% you read that right half a percent. I told my manager I quit. He got mad at me I told him half a percent is just pissing in my face and calling it rain. If your company isn't giving you at least a 2% raise every year then you end up basically losing money after inflation and cost of living. Inflation in my area was like 5%. I asked him why I was getting paid less today than when I started. I showed him the math and told him about my rent increases. With that, he had enough ammo to get HR to come back at me with a legit raise.

They couldn't train anyone else so he gave me a bigger raise so they didn't lose me. I told him he needed to talk to HR and sort it out because we were a separate department from sales which is where they were losing money. The big company model ends up punishing people for the shortcomings of others rather than rewarding individuals.

I like my job but yeah I have resumes circulating constantly. I have worked here for 3 years and I have taken maybe 5 job interviews. Its just constantly being open to something new. Its always better to move to a new company and get a raise that way than to wait for the awkward realization that the place you work is trying to keep you on as cheaply as possible.

- Pencilowner

Find a new job every 2 years.

At one of my last jobs they hired a guy who lied on his resume, and didn't know how to do anything design or civil related. He got terminated within a few months, and I found out he was hired on making a little less than double what I made.

It honestly a f*cking joke. Companies refuse to pay their existing employees a competitive wage, so they all just deal with the merry go round expenses of turn over and hiring new people exponentially more than just keeping their existing employees happy.

I wish loyalty was a value. I think it makes a work environment cancer when you have to walk into your boss's office with an offer in hand to receive any meaningful/competitive raise.

- -_Chiron_-

"Seasonal" 

Giphy

My dad was telling me how my friends must be really lazy if they haven't found Christmas break jobs. I tried to explain that we live in a college town area, near a big city, and that all the Christmas work (what little there is to begin with, why hire seasonal employees when you already have enough staff?) is already taken by October by all the college kids who already live in the area. Not only that, but trying to get a job back home when you're cities or even states away is really hard. How do you show up for an interview if you're across the country? But he just didn't get it.

He really expects businesses to hire someone for 2-3 weeks during Christmas break. Seasonal jobs start hiring in at least October nowadays and are considered months long positions not weeks long.

- rainjays


I got a seasonal job over the summer. I started in April (which ended up being later than my coworkers) and they expected me to go through October, with some employees going to January. Seasonal is just code for no benefits. The only people who had been there for long were just desperately hoping to get a full time position after putting in years of physical work for less than you'd get at f*cking Target.

- RIP_Fun

Do It For Less

There's so much competition nowadays. We now live in a global economy. No matter what I do, there's someone out there willing to do it for much less.

My boss was paying this accountant $20.00 an hour to do the books. Then he fired him when he realized he could pay some college kid minimum wage who's really wanting to build a resume. Now our new accountant is making minimum wage. The kid is pretty smart. I'm not hating on him at all, but it's just a good example of how a surplus of human labor nose dives wages.

There's sooooo many humans that are competing.

- Yossi25


Happens in the IT world too. High School kid knows just enough to keep the computer systems running that were maintained by the professional who was costing the company $70K per year. Kid will do it for a buck over minimum wage. All works fine for a year then something breaks. Kid tries, messes up really bad and splits. Costs $100K for two weeks to clean up the mess.

- atombomb1945


The Requirements

Fun fact, some employers are required to post job listings, even if the position has been filled before the listing is even created.

My mom works for a school district. They have this requirement. Since it's a public school job (she gets state benefits, etc,) I don't know if it's a "company" policy or a law, but they either shift people around to fill from within, or hire someone's friend/family member instantly when a position opens, BUT they're still required to post the job and pretend it's available, except nobody who applies externally gets called.

Pretty sad, and a good demonstration of how the job market is in the USA currently. We're apparently at record lows for unemployment. To me, that means everyone's family members stepped up their efforts to help each other out.

- spiderlanewales

Algorithms

How much people have been taken out of the equation in job searches.

A lot of these online application portals are automated. It's not a person reviewing your application first. It's an algorithm scanning your resume and cover letter for key terms and assessing your responses to any additional questions in the application.

Tell the computer what it wants to hear, and you might get to the human review pile. But if you don't, it will reject you regardless of your qualifications.

- TripleEhBeef

It Takes So Long

I was informed by my employers that my services were no longer required... or even wanted... in June of 2014, after 10.5 years with the company.

I took a week "off", where I just relaxed like I was on vacation... I hadn't had more than one day off in a week for something like two years... and then began doing the job hunt thing.

At the start of the hunt, I was filling out five applications a day for jobs that were legitimately in my wheelhouse, and sometimes up to 15 or 20 for ones that I could do, but my background didn't look it (computer repair, for example: I've never worked in the biz, no classes, etc, but yet I've been doing such stuff for myself and others for close to 20 years).

Nothing. I didn't get my first interview for a month, and that was a failure... mostly because it was one of those "pay us money and we'll hire you!" jobs. I didn't realize that when I applied.

After six months, I maybe was filling out five "real" applications a week. After 11 months, I was about to jump off a ledge. I did get hired at that point, but it was getting close.

I had filled out close to 500 applications and gotten 10 interviews. In a year. And I suspect that my numbers are nothing uncommon.

- When_Ducks_Attack

"Bother Them Until They Hire You" Is The Worst Advice

My grandmother is always telling me to "bother them until they hire you" and if I say no I'm met with "you have no idea how the world works yet" which infuriates me to no end. It's like yeah they will definitely hire me if I come in every day and ask about a job even if they say they aren't hiring.

- Straight_Ace


You cannot go and "check-in" on your application (aka contact them about the job after submitting an application). Most places will mark you as a Do Not Hire because of this, saying that it makes you impatient & desperate.

Source: I've seen a couple of people who work in hiring say that this is a policy that they've been told to uphold, including my own supervisor.

- Casdayme

After I graduated from the police academy at 21 years old, I had the worst time trying to explain to family that after submitting an application I was specifically told any attempt to contact them (the police department) first would result in my application to be immediately withdrawn. They never believed me until they took it upon themselves to try to call about my applications and it was immediately withdrawn right on the phone. I did eventually get a job at an entirely different department, but it took a lot of damage control. It's no joke.

- Dylzeebear

I was on the interview panel for a job we were advertising, I was filling in for the manager who was on leave so I didn't even really have much influence on who would be hired anyway. One of the applicants added me on LinkedIn straight after the interview, with a message asking how long until he finds out the result. I had to declare it to HR and to the rest of the interview panel because it was a potential conflict of interest. Even though he was a good applicant it did undermine his application because it came across as pushy, like he was trying to curry favor to get the job, as well as extremely inappropriate.

- LazerTRex

9 - 5

Giphy

The jobs young people are applying for are legitimate jobs.

Older folks think if you don't work M-F from 9-5 it's not a real job that you can use to support yourself and family.

- namedafterabean

"Just Move" - How?! 

A lot of older (and affluent) people tell me "Just move out of state! You'll find a job easy!" But then I ask them with what money will I put down on an apartment when I can't afford to move out of my parent's place even as I scrape together saving. All my family lives within 30mins. I don't have aunts or uncles that live in a different state so I could apply there and bum the couch til I'm on my feet.

They also don't realize how little job security there is. I'm currently long term substitute teaching in a district where the teachers haven't had a raise in 4 years and don't have a contract. You'd think a job that involves educating our youth would be more secure.

And even though I perform all the duties of a teacher, I get paid 1/3 of the wage of the other teachers. The only benefit I am getting is mentor ship and my provisional which is good, but this is the second long term position I have gotten and I still don't seem to have enough experience or something for a full time permanent position. Everything is competition and being a college graduate with honors and all the honor societies you could want still isn't enough.

- ravibun

Trade Is A Viable Option

I'm 27. Didnt graduate high school. I went to trade school for automotive technology (mechanics) I wanted to be a mechanic. Ive always been into cars and motorcycles, anything with wheels anyway. Met some people whilst buying cheap cars and motorcycles on CL and reselling them. I was also in to aircooled VWs. I'm was pretty inclined for a 20 year old, it wasnt just The schooling, it was more,the passion for it.

I have been doing auto body for 9 years now, taught by my peers and a drive to achieve quality, lots of hard work nonetheless.

I make better money than most my age with debt and degrees, with great benefits.

Find your passion, work hard, and be assertive!

- llmacgregor

Adjusted For Inflation

Giphy

Adjusted for inflation, I make about the same per hour that my mom did at my age, though I have a master's degree and she has no college degrees.

- just_a_deer

Tech Is Your Friend

As someone who hires people: Boomers need to embrace technology. If you walk into a job interview where i'm trying to find someone to make low 6 figures in sales and you say things like "I don't do computers and cell phones" - chances are you are not going to get the sales job. We might offer a warehouse position for a wage you don't want.

Not saying all Boomers are like this but there seems to be a larger subset of Boomer individuals who just shun modern technology. Even though they grew up and have lived during the amazing technological leaps and bounds of the past 50+ years.

- cdiairsoft

Home or Office? Pick One. 

Cost of living is astronomical and companies are in a constant competition to see whom they can pay the least to do the most, and work-life balance is hugely important. Sitting in an office twiddling your thumbs when it's not very busy benefits exactly nobody. I have an aging parent; this is going to require me being home sometimes. Like it, don't like it, but if the older generation wants their kids to take care of them when they're old, they need to actually understand that that involves either 1) working from home or 2) not being in the office. They just can't have it both ways: have us working ourselves sick or taking care of them at home.

- SilverCityStreet

The Factory Down The Street

My grandma told me when I was 17 looking for work that she used to be able to quit the factory one day and finish a shift the same day at a factory down the street. I told her it's not that simple anymore and she was surprised.

- TheOrangeTickler

Out Of State Secretary

That you usually can't get a job in a new city before you move there. Every time I tell my dad I'm ready to leave Los Angeles and try (insert city here) he tells me that I need to make sure I have a job before I move. That only works for specialists-- doctors, lawyers, engineers. No one is going to hire a secretary who lives in a different state.

- thundercat88

Inked And Working

Giphy

That tattoos won't stop you from getting a job. Every time I get a new tattoo my Nan says 'you'll never get a job looking like that'. Like... I work in a bank. Nobody cares how tattooed my body is as long as I don't steal account details or piss on the photocopier.

- ryanocerous92

Literally Fewer Jobs

That between increasing population and increasing automation there's literally fewer jobs now than there were 40 years ago. Especially in "entry-level" work. (For instance manufacturing output in the USA is the highest it's ever been while manufacturing employment is the lowest it's been)

- boytoy421

Flexibilty For All

I'm going to take a different approach to this question and speak from someone as if they were already working in the market. Older generations do not understand the need for a flexible/remote work environment. Why do I need to sit in an office to do something I can do from a laptop on the beach, in a coffee shop, or even at home? Also why am I expected to work 8 hrs? 9-5pm is archaic. What used to take 8 hrs (filing, physically writing notes or documents, speaking to others) now takes way less time. Cut work weeks to 32hrs or 4 days a week but don't cut pay, New Zealand did it, and it's worked. https://www.seattletimes.com/explore/careers/a-4-day-workweek-new-zealand-test-run-shows-a-surprising-result/

Phones, text, email, laptops, internet have all made our jobs easier and have eliminated the need for paper and while we are using these tools to our productive advantage we are not using them to our flexible advantage.

- Gravey9

People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.