Losing your job is embarrassing. Being fired is extremely so. Some people make mistakes, but some people face consequences completely disproportionate to whatever it was they did. These are their stories.
u/imnutothis asked Reddit:
Here were some of those answers.
Dodged A RibeyeGiphy
Chef here. Got fired because I sent a steak out that "had char on it".
The only "char" on it was grill marks.
Ok lady, you probably just saved me a huge mess.
I handed my boss my two week notice and she ripped it in half and said "Don't bother, you're done today."
HQ wasn't too thrilled with her decision as they had to pay me a severance because of her hatred towards me.
Haha, I once had the exact opposite happen - I submitted my resignation and my boss refused it. The next day, I received a meeting invite from my VP on my client site - very rare for him to come to me - and when I walked in, the VP, HR, Senior Manager, and Manager were on one side of a long table and there was one chair on the other side for me. They insisted that, despite my moving two states away, we would make it work. It was awkward, as I didn't particularly like working from home (I'm a social creature and if left at home alone, I will play video games all day), but we made it work for another year before we amicably ended my employment.
I came back to my summer job at an amusement park from missing 3 days with strep throat, handed in my doctors excuse, and was fired for missing work. Apparently to call off you couldn't just talk to a manager, you had to talk to the department head, a person I had never met with a phone number that had never been made available to me. Because I missed more than 2 days, it didn't matter that I had a note because I was considered a no call/no show. The assistant manager I gave my excuse to handed me a letter back that said I had 10 minutes to clean out my locker and vacate the premises or they'd call the cops for trespassing.
I was 16, in a state with very liberal employment laws, and my mom retained a lawyer. I didn't win any money but they ended up having to list me as rehire-able in their system and they paid a huge fine for essentially making it impossible for employees to call in sick.
I was told Friday out of nowhere "we won't be needing your services anymore" after being told in November I would have a position into next year at the minimum. So that's a fun holiday gift.
Same. Let go day before Thanksgiving after 5 years at a company and negotiated my new raise with substantial documentation of my worth to the company.
I was replaced almost immediately and suspect my raise was given to that individual....
Nah, It Was RealGiphy
Me and my friend were two young Irish lads working on rebuilding the Canary Wharf tower in London (which had been blown up by some other Irish lads a year earlier, but that's another story.) It was like the Nakatomi Plaza. There were so many floors, if you didn't feel like working, you could just go to some random floor and hide out for a while.
So me and my friend, both 18 years old, were hungover one morning. We went to the 23rd floor where there was a comfortable couch and we lay there smoking weed. Suddenly the English foreman appears and fires us on the spot. As he was walking away, he says "That was taking the piss, lads."
Unfortunately, there was somewhat of a misunderstanding here. What he meant was that our behavior was so bad we had crossed a line. However, in Ireland at that time, "that was taking the piss" meant I'm only joking. So we continued working for another three or four hours before he came back and said "I fired you this morning, what the hell are you still doing here?"
Too Much Of A Threat
I was working for a small family owned restaurant. All the wait staff, and most of the kitchen staff was family or friends with the owner. I was hired as a waitress, and I did okay, not great, not terrible, it was my first time being a waitress.
One day, one of their regular customers came in, who is a bit of a local celebrity. He apparently came in once or twice a week, and tipped very well. Normally the owners daughter would take the taAble, but she was out sick so I took them. I got an amazing tip from him, and he told the owner that he would like me to wait on them if I am available in the future. The second he left I was fired.
I'm Quaking In My Hairnet
I told my manager at a fast food place that I was going to be looking for a new job, and to not schedule me after this pay period. The next week, I see my name on the schedule and ask her what the deal is.
"I told you I was going to get a new job and not to schedule me"
"Well, did you get a new job yet?"
"No. But I'm still not sticking around this one."
"Well you know what, you can just not come back here now with that attitude."
She sure showed me.
Jerk Bosses Who Played Themselves
I was fresh out of College at an IT contract-to-hire job. I came in on a Tuesday, sat down at my desk, the boss/owner came up behind me and told me I was fired. I sat there, mouth open, and then asked, "Why?" He said that I was not a good fit for the company and that I had to leave. So I gathered my things and he stood there watching me (probably making sure I did not steal anything) and escorted me out of the office. I found out later that because of the size of the company, at the time, they were looking for a tier III worker, but I was a tier I; I told them this in the interview, but apparently they did not have the resources to train me. Well jokes on them, I went through a month of unemployment and I found an even better IT job where I make a lot of money and work only half as hard as that job.
Blessings In Disguise
My first job out of college was for a very small dental insurance claims clearing house. The company had recently split from another company, whose name was on the software that all the Dentist offices used, so that was the name they recognized. The two companies were basically fighting over their client base. So, my job was to call up all of their clients to remove the old software from the former partner and install the new janky-*ss sh*t they'd cobbled together since the split.
My job alternated between:
- Calling up customers to install the new software and train them on it
- Troubleshoot the problems with the software and come up with work-arounds, typically during training calls.
Clients typically were finding out from me that the software was changing and I was supposed to insist that it was the same company, just different software.
After almost a year of this, I was getting to a point where it just felt so awful to trudge my way into work because I knew I'd spend the day getting yelled at by clients who were upset that their routines were changing. I spent a lot of my downtime complaining to my friends over my personal email about how awful it was. Probably not the best thing to do, but I was young.
Well, one day I come back from lunch and find the door to my office closed and my boss standing there waiting for me. He showed me the emails he'd printed out from my personal email account with portions of conversations highlighted that he didn't like. I never used any names or revealed company information - just my emotions while working there. He shoved the papers in my hands and said "Explain this to me." I basically said I was just having trouble with the day to day grind, but he just responded with, "I think it's time for you to find something else. Get out of here."
Fine by me. I probably should have left before it got to that point, but hindsight is 20/20 and all that.
What Did You Expect To Happen?Giphy
I was 15 I think. I was a lifeguard at a subdivision pool. Being the "new guy" and the "young kid" I worked every weekend. Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday day. I had already missed going to my grandparents a couple of times, and my parents were taking a vacation. I asked off and was told that I couldn't go. My dad basically said, "you are going, I don't care." I told the boss this and she said, you still have to work. I left with my parents, and when I got back there were a dozen messages on my parents answering machine saying that they couldn't open the pool because I wasn't there. She fired me 3 or 4 times that weekend.
She was a bored housewife hired by the HOA to schedule the lifeguards who were mostly high school kids. She fired another for wearing a bikini. They didn't use her the next year, but by that point in time I was 16 and had a better job.
No Dime For A Jerk
Mom, brother and I were at Olive Garden about 20 years ago. We had the worst waiter in the history of the world. He was outrageously rude to the point of being abusive to us. At the end of the dinner my mom left him a dime for a tip and as we were leaving the waiter threw the dime at my mom (I was a little kid otherwise I would have probably at least attempted to defend her). Waiter's boss saw the dime throw and fired the waiter on the spot. Everyone has a bad day, but that guy was just a prick.
Not Doing Your Work For Ya, Bucko
A colleague (from another department, always borderline hostile) had emailed my boss that I no-showed a call while on the job. Terminated immediately.
This wasn't possible though, as I had documentation that I showed to the call. And it's also not possible to no-show a call. Like, people literally die. If one can't go, you call your partner to go for you. But in my case I had gone there. All my documentation proved I had been there.
Theirs on the other hand, did not. But my manager skipped the investigation on this. No checking call logs, no checking notes (legally binding documents), no even hearing my side. Came in in the morning, asked me if I had gone to a call 5 days ago, I asked what the documentation said and he said we're ending your employment. Good manager!
Don't Ride An EngineerGiphy
I was an engineer at a company. Glorified term for the guy who designs construction projects and orders the material on smaller scale telecom projects. The owner of the company would take a big group of installers to install the projects. He was always riding us engineers to use up smaller pieces of inventory from the warehouse instead of ordering brand new stuff (for example do not order the 10' piece of steel if you can have the warehouse pull a 4' from our stock).
Well I would design the projects and only order the longer pieces if it was part of my design requiring and I would bid the project based on that design. Never failed the owner would go to site with his rag tag group, tear apart my design, build it completely different than my design, and then bitch at me for ordering too much material (he would send me nasty emails copying everyone). Keep in mind that he would install the job with a much different design than we bid for which means our quotes should have been reduced per our contract with our client.
I finally had enough of him berating me and sent a nasty email response to one of his belittling emails he sent and copied the entire world like he always does. I show up to work and my direct line supervisor laid me off. I knew very well that my email would probably get me fired and that I was burning a bridge but I already had another job lined up and it felt so good to tell that guy to f*ck off. My manager was laughing about the email as he was telling me that he had to lay me off.
3 months after all of this the owners wife was calling me and asking if there was anyway in would return. I declined for obvious reasons.
All That For Nothing
It was my first job, I think I was 16 or 17 at the time. I worked at a local grocery store a couple days a week as a cashier.
One morning my dad had just dropped me off at work and it was a slow Sunday morning. A couple hours into my shift a girl comes in and buys a pack of cigarettes. I forgot to ID her and turns out she was underage and it was one of those sting things. (which when I worked there I did not know that was even a thing that happened.) Well a guy comes in with the same girl and talks to the manager. Tells him what happened. After the two leave he pulls me to the side and tells me that I am fired. I was devastated because I was a really good kid and followed by the rules and hated getting in trouble.
I then go outside call my dad and the minute he answered I burst into tears. I tell him that I need him to pick me up because I was fired. He comes picks me up I tell him what happened and he calms me down. Then my mom comes home from church and tell her what happened. She was fuming. My mom was saying that I should not have been selling cigarettes or alcohol in the first place because it is illegal for a minor to do so. Then my mom and I go back to the store and my mom is talking to the manager how it is wrong. That I was not supposed to be selling them in the first place and etc. After all that the manager says that I can have my job back I just cannot be a cashier anymore, but my mom refused to let me work there anymore.
Do I Need A Hall Pass?
I was 3 months in my job and I was getting harassed by my manager constantly for several weeks. Every day they'd follow me to the bathroom and make comments the whole time I needed to be in there.
I felt uncomfortable with this and reported it to HR, the next day the president of the company came to the office, and summoned me and the HR rep.
He brought up my concerns, and asked me what I wanted. I said I just wanted him to be professional and not follow me to the bathroom every time I have to go.
After I finished, he said, "Okay... well. Here's the thing. I've read the reports, and it just doesn't look like you're a good fit here. It's within 90 days, so we're just going to terminate your employment immediately. You'll be escorted out."
And that was it. I hated myself for opening that can of worms, but at the same time f*ck that guy.
Sears used to pay their electronics folks commission on top of base pay for big items. It was a pretty nice rate for commission. Anyways, we would "price match" compared to Frys or Best Buy (this was '05). Sometimes we made up Best Buy prices and would just say it was a promo weekend there.
I wasn't a great salesman and would incentivize customers to buy out of desperation. I'd take off like $400 sometimes.
One time a customer and I really hit it off. Super nice folks, came in around the holidays. I got on first name basis with em by the end. Anyways, lost prevention called me in and showed me on camera making the sale, I slipped up and said oh that's "Ed and his family." They thought I knew them on a real friend or family basis and gave them a $2900 tv for $2400. Fired on the spot.
Pay your workers more than $7/hour base and you won't see shit like that. People will sort out a way to cheat the system on you if you pay pennies. I got away with price matching probably 20 times before I got called on it.
That Sears is dead and gone now, I say good riddance.
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.