Despite the toxic stereotype of an unfeeling, “tough guy" persona, men face feelings of loneliness, depression, and other serious issues as well. Unfortunately, not enough people are willing to discuss these sensitive topics as society has put so much pressure on men to hold these things in.
Sadly, although men often experience more life-threatening depression than women they often untreated or hold it in due to stigma. Something we should all be working to break down.
One Redditor wanted to bring to light some of the issues men are facing today that often go unnoticed.
slowskyincog22 asked:
“What are some men's issues that are overlooked?"
Something that everyone can benefit from sometimes...
“It took until I was 33, married and a new dad to see a counselor. If you're still on your parents health insurance it may be covered in some form. I could never talk to my parents. Some people just don't know how to listen. But getting perspective from someone who can and is trained to listen is INVALUABLE. HMU if you ever want to chat about sh*t.” Katarzzle
ED can take a big toll...
“Erectile dysfunction. It seems like a joke, but guys literally kill them selves because of it. It's like losing the ability to love, losing your manhood, losing your ability to feel intimate with someone.” Snowfreak2507
“That sh*t just isn't sustainable for some people."
Tired King Of Queens GIF by TV Land
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“I'm late to the party so this will get lost, but in my experience it feels like dudes are expected to work 70+ hour weeks and be proud of it, or else they're lazy. Like, nah. I'm going to be working at least 65 hours next week between two jobs (which is plenty) and that includes both daytime and overnight shifts."
“If I complain for even a sentence though, I'm going to be sh*t talked by the crew when they think I can't hear them. I'm tired. I like doing things that aren't work. That sh*t just isn't sustainable for some people." SkipperDaglessMD
Good intentions take too far...
“So I'm at the park playing tag with these kids I'm babysitting and out of nowhere this old lady comes up to me and starts asking all sorts of questions. Do you know these kids? What are there names? Can you call their parents for me? Even asking the kids if they knew me and when they answered yes, she responded with ‘you don't have to lie, if you don't know this man, you can tell me and I can help you.’” WalkingOnCoffee
“The worst part is nobody really talks about it...”
“Male pattern baldness and the impact it can have on mental health and body image. Imagine being in college surrounded by guys with perfect NW1 hairlines with all these cool fades and modern trendy hairstyles while you're stuck looking like Moby or Varys from GOT. Brutal. The worst part is nobody really talks about it, it's a very hidden and taboo issue that many men go though but society refuses to truly address, so they are forced to suffer in silence.” ImpSong
Unspoken insecurity..
“Insecurity in general. You're not supposed to show that you have doubts or worries about your abilities or self-image. A man is supposed to be confident, able, and self-assured. It's not okay for men to admit that they lack self-esteem, or that they have genuine problems with their self-image, as they are seen as weaknesses in and of themselves."
“Other men or women aren't going to 'bring you up'. They won't provide emotional support and tell you it's okay to be unconfident or to feel shame about who you are - they will simply expect that you should take it on the chin. Not everyone can be 'that' guy. But, for a man, what actually makes you feel like a man is being that guy."
“So you kind of walk around pretending that you're happy, despite the fact that you're not seen as valuable or as desirable as other men - because in doing so, you would be seen as even less valuable or desirable. F**k. I've never really been able to put that feeling into words before, but that felt insanely good to get off my chest." OnePrettyFlyWhiteGuy
Isolating...
“Isolation. Many men have no friends. More so, they don't know how to find meaningful friendships, it's incredibly difficult to know where to even begin, moreso if you're not in college or school.”
“I'm 24, almost 25 and never had an emotional outlet. I don't even know what that looks like in a healthy sense. The first relationship I had, I believe I ruined because I put too much of what I had been carrying for so long on that person, as patient and as caring as they were.” NLY96
Loneliness wasn't helped with the pandemic...
“Crushing, black, empty, cold, never-ending, screaming-into-the-void loneliness and everyone's casual shrug when I even hint about it. Just work, pay taxes, walk the dog, keep your mouth shut, don't have feelings, don't be short, try to keep up appearances of virility, and never, ever, whatever you do, don't let anyone know how lonely you are because they'll just sort of awkwardly giggle and change the subject.” Doomstaar
“men are defined by what they do and not by who they are...”
“In western culture, men are defined by what they do and not by who they are (being). So, when they retire they often develop mental illness because they are no longer ‘doing’. this often leads to suicide. Then there's the whole nonsense of the stoic emotionless man getting on with the work.” tanktametet-pwemskan
Depression.
“The fact that people ridicule and laugh at you for having depression is something we ALL need to talk about. It isn't funny. Depression is real and the fact that so many are choosing to keep it within is simply disturbing.” sroth3839
People Share The Dumbest Purchases They Have Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
It effects many men too...
“Eating disorders. I'm a female sports coach who researched this topic as part of a sports medicine class. The stereotype is that eating disorders involve girls and that's where most of the research goes."
“Men suffer rapidly increasing rates of eating disorders, especially bulimia. It's becoming horribly common among athletes in particular, and has gotten worse with the advent of skinny male models." Disastrous-Shallot26
“Often times ‘bodyshaming’ is quite the issue. Not being well worked out or physically strong is often seen as a sign of weakness and no self-control.” doriiian
Parenting...
“Parental Duty / Just a babysitter. As a father of 3, I take a very active part in my kids life - I'm now separated and divorcing from my Ex, and am the primary parent (they live with me 95% of the time)."
“The reaction that this gets is one of amazement or incredulity that as a man, I'm unable to be a sole single parent. I get that it's not the standard, but it's not exactly rare nowadays, but the responses I get are ones of pity for my kids that 'they only have a dad'."
“I'm not knocking single mums in this by the way, I KNOW how hard it, but society accept single mums as a perfectly valid family choice, single dads are seen as bumbling and incapable of looking after their own kids - this goes into normal family life as well, where dads are seen the same - incapable of caring for a child, and just there as a baby sitter."
“Even during a normal relationship, I was constantly jokingly referred to as the Baby Sitter, and not seen on an equal footing to their Mother. This kind of adds to the Mental Health issue, and the other issues around not talking about real problems to other men." No_Film_2086
Sometimes people really are just having a conversation...
“Can't talk to a female without being suspected of trying to somehow get with them. Being fully serious here, as I've held conversations with women before and then had someone smirking at me and being like, ‘Yo dawg, you trying to hit that...’ and when I say no, they refuse to believe me.”
“Um, just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I'm trying to screw every living female... at least not anymore. A few years ago perhaps, but if a guy says he's not trying to ‘tap that,’ then he might be telling you the truth, so accept it.” Fangs_McWolf
“For me, it's the social dilemma of men having to be manly and not show any feelings. It kinda sucks when you can't do things you wanna do because people expect you to be some kind of macho man ladies boy, when they expect you to do sports, to do manly sh*t like going to the army and all you really wanna do is buckle down, read some books and listen to lofi music, it sucks."
“Another thing is the fact that crying i seen as not manly and you can't be vulnerable. I want to cry when my favorite anime character dies, I want to cry when something bad happens, I hate having to hold back my feelings in fear of judgments." aaerty
“I have seen many men self sabotage...”
“Honestly the biggest issue with men in general is self sabotage. Sometimes when you have issues you want to walk the line. Sometimes you want to cross it even if you know it comes with the consequences that you don't like going through but in the moment for a second the imagination can take you elsewhere.”
“This is where self dominion comes in handy and I bet a lot of older men will not feel the same self sabotage as I do. I have learned through out the years that if you have the little things in check then you can focus your energy on your priorities.”
“When you realize that something's can be measured by percentages and you realize the difference between taking a chance and self sabotaging yourself, then you can make investments or give or take opportunities. However I have seen many men self sabotage their relationships on purpose.“ CheezeGweeze
Body count shouldn't matter...
“This is an interesting one I've noticed: getting harassed for not being with a lot of women. A lot of girls talk about how it's toxic masculinity that guys are just constantly trying to have sex and ‘showing off’ their numbers. However, it's those same girls who will make jokes like ‘he's probably still a virgin’, ‘look at that guy, he prolly never gets any’, ‘no wonder he never gets laid’. Etc etc”
“I can't tell you how many of my guy friends have broken down because of how much they get harassed for being a virgin, or only having been with a couple people, and more. It's an interesting thing I've noticed that as a society, one way we make fun of men is by saying they're not able to attract women.” fm2816
It is gross and not remotely ok...
“I know I'm way late for this but Grooming. Young boys and men being groomed by older women and then taken advantage of and thinking it's fine because so many other men are like 'he probably enjoyed it!', 'Who wouldn't hook up with their teacher they had the hots for?!'"
“Like no. I don't care if the young boy 'flirted' with an older woman and 'started it' nope. Women who do this are Predators and get glossed over so so often and its gross." ErinnShannon
No one should have to feel like they must suffer by themselves. If you need to talk to someone or reach out call the 24hr hotline for mental health and substance use at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
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For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...