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Ah, massages. This very legitimate therapeutic technique has been around for nearly as long as human beings.

But now it's been co-opted by so much erotica and so many movies that it seems to constantly provided weirdo creeps with a place to actualize their fantasies.


Real life massage therapists have plenty of run-ins with said weirdo creeps. PSA: happy ending massages are NOT to be expected. Sex work does not equal therapeutic medical techniques.

u/Tracewell asked, "Massage Therapists of Reddit what is the creepiest thing to ever happen to you while giving a client a massage?"

GLAM IS NOT DEAD

We usually leave the room to let the clients strip down into underwear before we commence, but with this guy I had no chance to get away. Before I had time to give him a towel he dropped his pants to reveal a sparkling blue G-string that barely kept everything in place. The guy was about 58, huge beer gut, grey hair, gold earring, and hairy like Robin Williams.

u/alstraka

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Pay Me My Money

At the end of the third session as I was massaging his neck while hes on his back he just started pleasuring ghimself. I was kind of shocked in the moment and didn't know what to do. I stood up and said I have to go. Was fairly awkward waiting for him to get dressed so i could pack my table and get my money and leave.

u/kingnixon

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Gonna Need a Bigger Wad Than That

One day this male client books a massage for himself with our male therapist, Ed.

This fu**er flips over, hands Ed a wad a cash from who knows where saying "That's for you," and starts to pleasure himself off. Ed promptly said "Alright your appointment is done they'll take care of you at the front desk" and books it out of there. Dude pays leaves with no problem.

u/scampede

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A Happy Ending Rejection Play-By-Play 

The conversation goes like this:

Creepy dude: "You do happy ending?"

Me: "No."

CD: "Why not?"

Me: "Because that's disgusting and unprofessional."

CD: "I pay extra"

Me: "We're done here."

u/kinkyshibby

Taking Liberties, Are We?

My wife and I were at a small resort in Costa Rica. This time we decided to get a couple's massage.

The time came to do my butt, she moved the towel down and started working my cheeks. Then the inside of my cheeks, which I thought was odd, but I'm new to this massage world and maybe that's what a deep tissue was. At this time I'm starting to feel, not relaxed but insecure. I suddenly become aware of my wife next to me who sounds more then relaxed.

Meanwhile back at my butt, she was really doing the inside of the cheeks well. I had hoped this was the last spot she would do, the last thing I want is butt cheek sweat rubbed all over my body. Then started to press down on my actual anus. I felt pressure building up behind her thumb. I clench, and I clench like I never have before. I spin around and say very politely thank you for the massage.

u/louiestarrz

Whatever Gets You Goin'

Someone I know (they are female) said that while doing a Brazilian wax on a male he climaxed. She just wiped it up and remained professional. Idk how

u/PristineBean

Those eyes. Those EYES.

This one dude though kept folding the sheet down to just under his nipples. I would keep moving him and adjusting the sheet but he would eventually fold it back down. The edge of the sheet perfectly underlined his nipples and I just kept getting distracted by them... they were like 2 eyes staring at me.

u/simplerthings

(Grossest Thing I've Heard In Days)

One day she had a guy in his late 30's early 40's come in for a back massage. When he took off his shirt, his back was literally blackhead central. Like there wasn't one spot in which he DIDN'T have a blackhead, and her hand was slathered in gross juice and pus when she tried to massage him. She just gave up after that.

u/CheesePuffFluff

Welp, Everything Seems To Be In Order Here

Well one day I receive a call from a man asking if im available. He said he would like a massage at his office in the middle of downtown.

After 30mins, I started to get a sense that something is off. I would glide my hands to more intimate areas but he keep talking casually. Most guys would pop a tent, or ask to be massaged near their groin. But he was talking about his wife and daughters.

Then starting going on about his relationship with this guy and how they have a very strong friendship and that they would constantly prank each other.

This guy thinks this a legit massage! This was suppose to be a prank that somehow got way to advance without any party knowing. Hence, why I'm in the middle of a tech office and he is so non chalant about everything.

u/Blackrockmuscle

Kylee Alons/Unsplash

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