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Emergency Room Employees Share The Funniest Reason A Patient Was Brought In

Emergency Room Employees Share The Funniest Reason A Patient Was Brought In
Photo by Owen Beard on Unsplash

Not asking for this to happen to anyone lucky enough to read these stories, but you would hope if you had to make a trip to the emergency room it would be for a worthwhile reason. Maybe you damaged your clavicle bravely fighting off some purse snatchers or injured your fibula rescuing your family from a sinking ship.

Not sticking something up your butt and getting it stuck there.

On purpose. Which happens a lot more than you might think.

Warning, some of these tales from the E.R. are NSFW.

Reddit user, SnooSuggestions5585, wanted to hear about the craziest things happening in hospitals when they asked:

"Redditors who work at the ER, what's the funniest/absurd reason someone was brought in?"

You would expect most of the injuries obtained in the E.R. to come from kids, right?

Sigh, Teenagers Gonna Teenager

"Over the course of an evening 9 teenagers were brought in by their parents for hallucinations."

"None of them were able to tell us what was going on and they trickled in over about 4 hours."

"The drug screens were negative but they were all pretty badly out of it."

"Finally one of the siblings was able to tell us they had all been at the same party."

"One of the teens had talked the others into trying mushrooms except they were mildly poisonous ones instead of the ones you take for 'shrooms'."

"They were all tripping like crazy for the night and they had to stay in the ER until they were sobering up."

"It was amusing for the staff but the parents were quite irate."- Liz4984


"I’m a cop and was posted at the ER on night shift once and a woman came in because she got bit by a snake in her yard."

"She was panicking because of it."

"Her hand was really swollen."

"One of the nurses asked if she saw what kind of snake it was and she said no."

"A couple of minutes later, these two boys, maybe 12-13, came running in holding a decapitated snake in pieces inside of a ziploc bag."

"They had rode their bikes from their house to the hospital to show the doctors the snake that bit this lady."

"Like these kids heard about what happened and went on her yard to kill the snake just to do this."

"It was funny and oddly heartwarming." - Amy-Paradise

bag snakes GIFGiphy

​You really need to question the sanity of some of these people before they visited the hospital. Ask questions like, "Why weren't you brought in sooner for just being alive?"

Seemed Like The Right Call To Make At The Time

"When asking what brought him in today he said he was arguing with his sister about the car and how much this costs and carrying on, had to stop and ask him again why is he here."

"His reasoning was he was tired of arguing with his sister and would rather be admitted to the hospital."- Lil-one

Wait Until All Of It Is Good And Out

"A woman came in after she cut her hand pretty bad making dinner."

"Instead of putting any pressure on the cut to stop the bleeding, she was just letting herself bleed into a large kitchen bowl."- Virtual-Cupcake-1510

With Friends Like These?

"Had a guy come in after smoking weed with his friends and then he also did PCP."

"His friends got very paranoid and he became aggressive towards them, so naturally they attacked him… with a samurai sword."- Current_Recording_64

Mean Lets Go GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy

And then there's these.

The ones you were all waiting for with delightful, Schadenfreudian glee.

The sex ones.

Wait, This Happens So Often There's A Nickname For It???

"As a kid, my Mom's EMT stories seemed hilarious, but as an adult I don't think I'd have the patience to tolerate so many people's bullsh-t."

"That being said, here goes the story."

"They get a call that a guy has a sever nosebleed, is already feeling dizzy, losing a lot of blood and can't stop it."

"Needless to say they floor it, thinking the guy might bleed out, get there in very short time."

"They ring the doorbell, a guy answers."

"They ask him to take them to the victim, he says they're talking to him."

"Not one drop of blood on the guy's face or clothes or anywhere, cheeks all rosy, doesn't look like he's lost a lot of blood so they ask what the deal is."

"He says it's hard to explain but he was worried they wouldn't send him an ambulance if he was honest about his symptoms and he's in a lot of pain."

"My mom tells him to sit down and tell them about the symptoms while they take his blood pressure."

"Guy says he'll do all of that, except for the sitting down part."

"Now, I bet you all know where this is going."

"Turns out he'd been trying to convince his girlfriend to experiment sexually with him."

"She wasn't into it, was afraid it would hurt."

"So the guy says 'if I show you on myself, will you do it?'".

"She reluctantly said yes."

"So the guy lubes up a thin aluminum flashlight, 2 cm thick, 15 cm long, bends over and jams it up where the sun don't shine"

"So they put him on a stretcher and the driver says into the radio 'ambulance 98 returning, 28 year-old male with severe constipation and foreign object in his rectum'."

"'Uhm... it's a flashlight, in case it matters'."

"'So, uhm... Yup, you heard that right: we're bringin' you a firefly, stand by'."- Corvus_Manufaktura

flashlight GIFGiphy

Don't Pick Him Up And Shake Him!

"My Mom worked in the OR and said there were soo many guys who ended up there because of things they 'slipped and fell' on."

"The craziest one for her was the guy who 'slipped and fell" on a snow globe'."- craponapoopstick

He'll Follow You Until The Afterlife Fades Away

"I got admitted to the ED after a heavy leather bound photo album fell off the top of a free standing wardrobe during sex and hit me on the head."

"I ended up with 12 stitches and a multi layer closure and luckily missed out on a skull fracture."

"The album in question? The woman’s wedding day with her dead husband."

"We joked later that it was his ghost disapproving of our random horny moments."- W2ttsy

Wait For The Twist Ending...

"Girl came in saying she had a lump in her vagina."

"Very worried about it."

"Examination revealed nil abnormalities."

"On further questioning her new boyfriend said he felt it during sex'."

"It was her cervix."- craycraxy

A visit to the ER shouldn't be a laughing matter.

Unless it's the only possible treatment for the scenario.

I've got a burning desire... or I'm just burning...

"Last night a guy came in with a fever."

"CORRECTION: His PENIS had a fever."

"Yeah, you read that right, his Penis, only, was warmer than usual, and it freaked him out."- Dont-Lick-the-Cat


She's a woman now

"I’m not an ER nurse, but my dad used to be and I’ll always remember this story."

"This mom brings her 13 year old daughter in and swears up and down that her daughter was bit by a bug and has a nasty infection."

"She says the daughter was bit by mosquitoes while they were outside, and her chest was swelling abnormally because of it."

"So they do some kind of physical exam, and my dad had to explain that the daughter wasn’t bit by mosquitoes, she just hit puberty and was developing breasts."- katelikesmilk

What are you trying to hide?

"One I was working at the ER a young guy 18-19 years old, who was at a party, came piss drunk and unconcious."

"In order to get a urine tox screening we decided to take a urine sample through a catheter."

"When the nurse pulled down his pants we discovered that he had put a thick white sports sock in his underwear."

"After the test was taken we decided to put the sock back where we found it so he wouldn’t die of shame when he woke up!"- alexfrommalmoe

"I've decided that if I ever have a sex-toy-related injury that requires medical care, I'm just going to own it."

"In fact I'll go one better."

" if I have an innocuous boring injury that sends me to the ER, I'm going to claim it was an athletic sex injury instead."-triggur

The Lengths some people will go to

"I don’t work in the ER, but did my preceptorship in the ER my final semester of nursing school."

"Had a lady come in via EMS because her partner 'threw a red solo cup at my back and I’m having terrible pain now!'"

"It was the most dramatic show I’ve ever witnessed watching that poor EMS crew roll her into a tiny room as she’s flailing and fake-sobbing."

"ER doctor looked at me, the student, and said 'take her this script for Ibuprofen'."

"She’s discharged'."

"He spent maybe 2 minutes in her room."

"I took the script in, gave her the discharge paperwork, and she threw it in my face and told me to 'get f*cked'.”

"No joke, she came back 2 hours later, walked into the ER herself, with a bloody towel wrapped around her hand."

"She told me to hold out my hand."

"I already had gloves on."

" She placed her thumb in my hand and said 'can I get some pain medicine now?'"

"'Calm as could be and very manipulative-like."

"This lady legit went home and cut her thumb off to get pain meds."

"She didn’t get any pain meds, she got an immediate air lift to a major hospital to have emergency hand surgery."-deadheadramblinrose

Read the instructions carefully

"Directly from a family member who’s an ICU rn."

"Patient was brought in to the ER after making a homemade dart gun with a needle and straw but blowing IN, instead of out."

"He swallowed both."

"Thought he could just poop out both but ended up with massive GI bleeds and losing most of his blood."

"Needed surgery and a ton of blood product transfusions."- Responsible_Rent7970

It goes both ways

"I don't work there, but I personally went to ER and asked them to fake a report for me so I can skip a test I had the following day."

"They agreed."- MarwanMero

Maybe we rely a but too much on technology

"A woman came into the ED recently because she couldn't find her pulse on her apple watch so she was worried that her pulse was gone."

""The doctor taught her how to find her pulse via jugular and sent her home."


apple watch connecting GIFGiphy

You don't outgrow fun... or do you?

"Friend of mine in college thought it would be fun to swing in one of those rubber tire bucket like baby swings in the park."

"So she managed to put her feet through the leg holes and climb in."

"Only to get completely stuck in the swing."

"Her circulation was getting cut off by the swing and her legs were swelling like crazy."

"We tried to pull her out but no luck."

"We had to call 911."

"She ended up going to the ER with the swing still on her to get cut out of it."- RainbowUnicorn0228·

Maybe ease up on the self gratification.

"I volunteered at a hospital in HS, and my only time in the ER, a gentleman came in complaining of severe pain in his groin area."

"Come to learn he was a chronic masterbater, and had rubbed considerable patches of skin OFF."

"Not only that, you could hear him yelp randomly, and it was because he was doing it then too!"- notnotasock

As always, all of the salutes and respect to the people we pay to heal us. The things they have to outright not laugh in our faces for must be a mountain impossibly high.

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.