Love at first sight is not very practical, but when you meet that special someone it just feels right. These people reveal how they knew that they found the person they married.
u/Kynsade asks:
Married Redditors: How was your spouse different from any of your exes when you were dating? How did you know they were "it"?
When the love keeps you sticking around
Giphy
I never got sick of being around her. 16 years and I haven't yet. I can remember dating other women and just wishing I could be anywhere else.
When the conversation flows
Giphy
I didn't have to try coming up with things to talk about. I didn't pretend like I was really cool, I wasn't shy about my honest opinion, I was able to be fully myself with this person, and it was so easy.
I also felt no social energy being drained from hanging out with him, and still don't. Both of us just knew. Still better than ever 8 years later. 😊
A clean track record
Giphy
I can always assume that she means the best in everything she says or does. It's been over 10 years and she hasn't let me down yet.
When the typically annoying things bring comfort
Giphy
When your biggest relationship worry is that the snoring has always pushed others away, but she said on the first night, "Your snoring is like a comfort blanket to me. I slept like a baby knowing you were there with me."
When loyalty is priority
Giphy
I had a pretty bad accident, was hospitalized for over a month and we didn't know if I was going to live, or ever walk again. He stayed when sh*t really hit the fan. He bathed me, dressed me, wiped my butt. The whole nine.
Communication is key
Giphy
She wasn't playing games. She didn't insult or attack me just because she was angry. When she does get upset with me, she is able to communicate with me and doesn't just passive-aggressively assume I should know what's wrong.
A trip away tells all
Giphy
I knew he was the one when we went away for the weekend together for the first time and I realized I actually enjoyed being with him and didn't want to kill him by the end of the weekend...
When they go above and beyond
Giphy
My father passed away very unexpectedly and we had been dating for only 6 months at the time. He flew across country to be with me and my family (whom he hadn't met yet), bought meals for us, mowed the lawn, replaced my sister's worn down tires, did laundry, picked up family members from the airport. All the little details that needed attention were the things he took care of so me and my family could greive. I couldn't imagine anyone else I had dated before doing something like that.
Home is where the heart is
Giphy
I could be completely myself, felt completely at ease and at home with him and wasn't at all worried about what to talk about and what I needed to do to keep him interested in me. I felt like I was in an equal, healthy, respectful and loving partnership and knew he would always be super loyal, committed and there for me.
When you can't get enough
Giphy
Honestly? I didn't get sick of him.
I know that sounds random, but in all of my previous relationships, there came a point where they became grating, or things I'd previously found normal became insufferable over time, or I'd realize that things I'd overlooked early on really shouldn't have been overlooked (e.g. my one ex who happened to have a love of drinking beer while driving his truck).
When I started dating my hubs, I was pretty sure I'd eventually tire of some aspect of him, or begin to find a flaw or three that would grow and become unbearable over time. But I never did. He has flaws, but they're just... part of him, you know?
Sometimes you just know
Giphy
This is such a great question that I always wondered as a single person. "How would I know if this person was the one?" I guess I can answer that now. I know it's probably different for everyone. My SIL and BIL dated for two years as a trial run and then said if they were together for two years they'd get married. Seems kinda strange to many, but 20+ years later it seems to work well for them. For me and my now husband, we just knew almost right away. I can't describe the feeling well—I knew he was different the first date. I had a real connection with him on the "I find him attractive but honestly I just love talking to him" level. I just knew if we were to actually be in a relationship we would get married. A couple weeks in we were in love and I knew this was it. And it was. It's a mixed bag of influences; the attraction of course, the way he was so solid in everything—his kindness in every way, the way he made me laugh, his intelligence, our deep talks, everything about him just fit into me. I could tell his feelings and words and actions were genuine, this wasn't a game, and this was real for him like it was for me. Ah, I love that man. I'm gonna go tell him again
When a mix tape does the trick
Giphy
He made me a mix tape. I listened to nothing else for weeks. Twenty years later I still perceive the opening to Operation Mindcrime as a love song. :D
Reliability can seal the deal
Giphy
The biggest difference in my SO was his consistency. Texted and called consistently. Showed up for plans. He's reliable and he was always all in. To him, we were always a team and he refused to walk away from that.
Independence and support
Giphy
It became clear early on that he thought of me as a complete person with my own independent path and not a girlfriend-shaped presence in his life who only existed to fit into it on his terms. He supported me without first thinking about what it meant for him, and took me for what I was without making it about him. We started dating at 21, and that was depressingly rare in other guys I had dated up until that point.
Nice guys get the girl
Giphy
He was never mean to me. He never said things to hurt my self-esteem, when he was feeling low or we were in a fight. I felt emotionally safe with him. And, he is incredibly smart. I always did (and still do) love talking to him. He says things that change my mind, make me think, puts things in a new light. That was probably the thing that made me want to marry him, I knew I'd never be bored.
Let her be!
Giphy
He just let me BE. It sounds really simple, but it isn't.
Being a woman you don't realize how much criticism you get from male partners until it's gone. In every other relationship I had ever had I was constantly told things like "you should grow your hair out" "I like it when you wear X". I was also expected to take care of all domestic duties even though I generally worked more then my partners. And at the time it genuinely didn't bother me. I thought that was just the way of things.
Listening makes all the difference
Giphy
He actually listened to me when I talked, and if we had any sort of disagreements we'd talk it out. In the almost 8 years together we have never raised our voice or cussed each other out. We've had some "major" disagreements but we never had a fight -- we had a talk.
When you are telepathic
Giphy
I didn't have an "idea" of us that I tried to make us fit into. We pretty much shared and still share a brain. We lived almost 2 hours away from each other but would often text each other the same thing at the same time. We'd be in the car together and one of us would say something and it would be the same thing the other was thinking. I had never had that with anyone. And when we fought we were always able to resolve it easily because our communication and honesty was always really open and easy.
A deep understanding is a clear sign
Giphy
I asked my supervisor about this. She looked at me for a moment, then dipped her head back down with a smile and said, "I thought about it, and there's really no one else I would rather spend my life with. We broke up once and we still found our way back. We were long-distance for two years and we survived that. He knows me. Like, he really knows me. He's romantic without being provoked. He just wants to treat me right. We just really understand each other."
When they make you a better version of yourself
Giphy
It was apparent right away that she made me a better person. I had always been a good person and always employed, but being with her made me want to do more.
When you respect their respect
Giphy
Lots of things, but the one that I've been able to note through the years is her self-respect which consequently leads me to respect her as well, which is crucial during those certain moments in a relationship.
When you come from two diffferent worlds
Giphy
We've been married 49 years, August 2. On our first date I knew she might be the one. Any girl that could eat a hamburger faster than I did was a keeper. She was everything I wasn't, danced in college plays, played an instrument, knew the classics, cultured. I was just a dumb farm boy that didn't even know when to walk in a crosswalk. She was a Spanish education major and I was an animal science major. She had a great sense of humor and very intelligent. I'm sure her folks thought I was the biggest hick ever. It apparently turned out ok after 4 kids and 49 years later.
When you want them with or without an arm
Giphy
She fell off a balcony and shattered most of the bones in her arm. I didn't know if she'd lose it or not until they wheeled her out of surgery and I saw she got to keep it. But while I was waiting I realised none of it mattered.
When they help you grow
Giphy
The first couple of times we hung out, we sat and talked for hours. We had a ton in common, and he was really easy to talk to. But I think the main thing that set him apart from others that I dated was that I felt comfortable just being myself with him. I was jaded in many ways from a lot of previous experiences in my life, and he allowed me the comfort to confront some of my own issues, to grow beyond things I had held myself back from.
Sometimes it takes a little push
Giphy
She demanded respect from me. She wouldn't tolerate any games or non commitment because she knew she was worth it. She did not put up with my bulls***. I fell in line, and I fell in love.
When she has your crotch covered
Giphy
I got a new dog that had a bad habit of jumping paws first directly on my crotch whenever I was sitting on the couch. I'd kind of developed a reflex to cover said crotch whenever the dog would start to lunge my way. One day, I was sitting next to my girlfriend (now wife) on the couch and had a drink in one hand and the remote control in the other. When the dog jumped towards me, my girlfriend covered my crotch for me. That was it. I knew.
When they show you real love
Giphy
I know this sounds lame but being with him made me realize I was never actually in love before. What I have with him is real love. He's patient. He's giving. He's gentle. He's selfless. He's honest. He treats everyone with respect and nobody has a bad word to say about him. I love him more than I've ever loved anything. :)
When they take everything as is
Giphy
Well, first of all, just to get to the premise of your question - that somehow when I met (or came to know my husband) I saw he had what all the others lacked and saw he was "it" or "the one." I don't believe in this concept, I think there are lots of "ones" and nobody is perfect or perfect for you - like Dan Savage says there is not settling down without settling for.
That said. The big things he had different than all my other exes is that he had no hang ups, no neuroses, no preconceived notions about relationships, what women should be like or what they should look like.
Vulnerability is key
Giphy
He REALLY LIKED me. I have an anxious attachment style, and with others, I was always wondering where I stood with them. With him, he never shied away from telling me how much he liked me. It took me a few months to believe that was for real, but the willingness to be so vulnerable about feelings was a big deal to me.
When she accepts your herpes
Giphy
We were long distance before and during dating. We had a visit scheduled. She was coming to see me for the first time since we met and we were pretty close to starting to date officially. From wrestling in high school, I contracted mat herpes and get an outbreak on my forehead about once a year. A couple days before she came to visit I got an especially bad outbreak. Nasty looking stuff on my forehead a little bigger than a silver dollar. Not only is it unsightly, but it has an especially negative connotation since most people associate the herpes virus with genital herpes, plus it's highly contagious via skin to skin contact. I was anxious for days about how I was going to tell her and hoping she wouldn't be too freaked out. I called her and tried to lay everything out, preparing for her to be really uncomfortable and put off.
Her response was "Oh that's it? Can I still cuddle you?"
Just the first of dozens of personal things that she blew me away with her acceptance of.
When you can fart loud and proud
Giphy
On our second date, we where in his bed and having a good time. It was late night, we were talking like we'd known eachother for years, eventhough we had only just met for the first time a few days prior. All of a sudden he mentioned that he had a wild urge to fart. I said, "fire away". He farted like there was no tomorrow. I laughed so hard and a few seconds later let out my own gassy adventure. From that moment I knew, if both of us can be that relaxed and comfortable around eachother, it must be "it".
When it's really chill
Giphy
My now husband and I started off as a sort of friends with benefits relationship, where we really liked each other too, however I was sure I was moving away as soon as possible, and he was in the midst of a divorce. Because of this, everything was super low key. I remember thinking to myself "I can't get mad at him for X issue because we're just really casual."
Well, that created an environment where we were just super straightforward with everything. There were no games or jealousy or expectations at all, we just hung out.
When the fun never ends
Giphy
First date story: we met up at a bar and sat on the back patio and just talked to each other the whole night. Not a single moment of awkwardness and no small talk. Once the bar closed, we didn't want to say bye yet so we went to his house down the street. We stayed up all night baking cookies, watched Donnie Darko, and playing guitar. We never slept and I didn't leave until I had to go to class the next day. Staying up all night became a pretty regular thing for us because we were having too much fun just hanging out.
All it takes is some food and magic
Giphy
When we were first dating I went over to her place, we had sex, smoked a joint then fell asleep. We both woke up around 2am and she brought be leftover chicken and fries in bed before we fell asleep again.
I knew she was the one that point. Happily married for 5 years now.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.