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Married People Share The Exact Moment They Knew They Were Going To Marry Their Partner

Just like in the movies...

I love a good love story. I love an epic love story even more. And epic love stories are more common than we think. Often epicness happens in the details, the small moments and over a short period of time. I firmly believe that when you know... you know. Deep down you can feel it when it's happening. But we've all become so jaded by life and the crashing of so many dysfunctional relationships, we already knew were a disaster, we tend to be apprehensive about falling in love ourselves, especially when deemed "too quickly." But who can define "too quickly?"

Redditor u/1_1_0_0 wanted to hear all about the times that love led and everyone just knew by asking...

Married people of reddit , How long after you started dating, did you realize you were going to marry this person?

I've been in love a handful of times. And each time I fell, I fell fast and hard. And after each fallout I swore... SWORE... that next time, I'd take it slow and have a checklist to go through before an "I Love You." Cut to me falling faster each time that follows. Oh well. My heart is a mess. But, love has worked out for plenty of other people.

The Irritated

Come On Reaction GIF Giphy

"I first met my wife when we were dating other people roughly, 11 years ago. She found me annoying. I knew it was meant to be when she confessed this a few years later."

fugly16

Getting Oriented

"Met my wife the first day of orientation week in college. Both of us were in long-term (multi-year) relationships already. Less than 3 hours later, I went back to my dorm room and told my roommate, 'That's the girl I'm going to marry.' Took over a year to start dating, but we've been together ever since (nearly a quarter century later)."

"She's the other half of me I didn't realize was missing until we met. DAMN I love that woman... I'm going to call her now to tell her!"

HellbendingSnototter

It's Easy

"I know this sounds early, but like, a week. I feel exactly the same now as I did about her then. I knew it then and obviously I was right."

BleedingRaindrops

"Same. Husband and I stopped dating on date 3. It was too much effort and we were far too comfortable with each other. You hear about "clicking" but you never think how easy it can be. You find someone that fits perfectly with you."

Shanisasha

A Quick 6...

married single ladies GIF Giphy

"We dated for about 6 months before I started thinking about proposing, but we were together for almost a year before I finally popped the question. We were juniors in college and got married before we graduated. We've been married for 40 years."

schnozzberryflop

4 Years! 

"My (now) wife and started talking about marriage pretty early on. I don't have a specific timeframe, but I'd say within the first few months. At that point it wasn't super serious and nothing planned out. Just like, 'oh, when we get married I want to have XYZ at the wedding.' or 'when we have kids let's do XYZ.' That kinda thing."

"We knew it was going to be a while before that happened, though. She was in her final year of college when we started dating, and I was only just starting my career. We both had things we wanted to do before marriage."

"Mostly she wanted to live in a place on her own, without roommates or anyone else supporting her, for a year just to prove to herself she was actually able to fully support herself. I wanted us to live together, just the two of us, for a year just to know that we were really able to cohabitate well."

"So I didn't propose until about 4 years after we started dating, but we pretty much knew at the start."

VVillyD

See that? Love is like a venomous snake that strikes silently and without warning. Once the poison is in you, it's over. So all you can do is succumb. Oh, that's a gloomy analogy. Whatever, y'all know what I mean. And so do a long list of lovers with a movie worthy tale to tell. Read on...

Happy New Year!!

"20 years ago we met in December for lunch after being set up by friends. Talked on the phone for a couple of weeks, went out for New Years. We moved in together a couple of weeks later, middle of January. Married on February 24th, 10 weeks after meeting. Somewhere in the first couple of weeks we just kind of decided to get married. Best casual decision I've ever made."

bustedaxles

Bling Discussion

"After dating for like three months he asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted and proceeded to show me his favorites. It was so sweet and I realized there's no way in hell I could marry another man."

Schnucksworld

with the seasons...

just married love GIF Giphy

"We met in June, were in engaged by October, and married by the following July. That was 17 years ago."

rburgundy69

Daddy Knows

"I learned that he can defuse my dad's political rants without my dad catching on to what he's doing. It's very sly. Forget romance, that's a necessary survival skill and I needed him on my team."

"Edit: diffuse vs. defuse..."

"Also it was one of many reasons, but my dad is legendary among my family as the man you don't want to introduce your SO to before they're nailed down. He's a wonderful person and dad but he is kind of a crap-head. My husband gets along with him effortlessly. When you marry someone, you also marry their family. It's important that you're able to maintain peace."

Mannagggia

Smells like Love

"A week or two after we started dating she met my parents and farted in front of them."

SmokedByJesus

I Know You

"I had known this person by acquaintance since 2014. Asked me out in March 2017 - said no for 4 months. In September 2017 dated. In December 2017 he proposed, and in January 2018 I said yes."

"TLDR - 4 months after 1st date, but knew him for a few years before dating."

Jadhar303

Me & My Bestie

"5 months. My now husband planned this amazing road trip for my birthday where we went from Los Angeles —> The Grand Canyon —> Monument Valley —> Las Vegas. We had such an amazing time and he was the first person I spent that much time alone in a car with and didn’t want to kill lol. No fights, no bickering (even when a 4 hour drive from Las Vegas back to Los Angeles took 9 hours due to a massive accident)."

"We just laughed, had great conversations, and enjoyed the same music. I knew then he was the one I was meant to marry. We just meshed too well to not be soulmates; 6.5 years later (2.5 married) we still mesh so well. We’ve had maybe 3 verbal fights total, all of which only lasted a couple hours. Lucky to be married to my best friend. :) "

Smoky-The-Beer

Be Mad

"Probably after about 2 months, We had our first big fight and I remember when she offered to leave and I told her 'I'd rather be mad at you with you here, Rather than you leave.' That is when I realized it was different. 2 Kids a house and beating cancer later and we are still going strong."

Gorcrow

"Engagement Ring"

"I think I knew after two months, but after five months, I opened a separate savings account where I'd deposit an amount off of each paycheque to the account labelled 'Engagement Ring.' We were both still in school and I was working part-time on the weekends, so the deposits were more symbolic than anything, but in the end, they certainly helped out financing a good portion of the ring. That was almost twenty years ago and we'll still together."

BroodingBryanAdams

Immediate

In Love Hearts GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants Giphy

"My wife says she knew on our first date. I'm a bit slower on the uptake. It took me about 6 months."

*ickMorningwood9

3 Year Rule

"I had a 3 year rule. All of my previous relationships ended prior to the 3 year mark. Either I realised they weren’t the one for me or they realised it, either way it always happened before 3 years. With my wife I proposed just after 3 years when I realised I had had no thoughts at all that she wasn’t for me."

Settledforthisone

She was there...

"Before we started dating. She was my best friend for a few years, and I realized it during that time. I just had to wait for her to break up with her boy-friend. Then we dated a couple of years. We've been married 34 years, and counting."

Trid1977

Scared

Biting Nails Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants Giphy

"5 years; I had a lot of anxiety, undiagnosed depression and OCD. It took a break up and some time apart to realize he was the one I wanted to marry. We've been together for 13 years and I could not be happier."

IsaacNoodles

'Of course she's in those plans.'

"I asked my Dad for advice on if I should propose to my girlfriend or not. We were about 2-3 years in, and I had plans to possibly travel, to leave Pennsylvania where both our families and us live, or get a job overseas. He said do these plans include my girlfriend or not? And that hit me pretty hard because I instantly said, 'Of course she's in those plans.' My Dad told me to marry her. The next day I got the ring."

ClemClementine12

Be Okay...

"Probably about 5 years. I had commitment issues like crazy, and he also had some maturing to do. We broke up for a year, then got back together when I realized that it IS okay to be content in a relationship."

xiaomantoubuns

Listen to your heart, that's not just a great song from the 80s/90s rock band Roxette. (Love them) It's also a mantra we should all embrace more. Just try to embrace it with your brain attached. Pay attention to red flags but don't ignore Cupid's arrow when you feel the sting. Life is too short. But take your time before you share you're bank account information.

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Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?