People Who Left Stressful Jobs For Their Mental Heath Share Their Experiences
A truly stressful job can destroy your self-esteem and confidence. It's been said that people don't necessarily leave jobs, they leave management.
Indeed, bad management can leave you feeling unmoored and unsupported.
There has been a wider conversation about hostile work environments over the last couple of years now that the COVID-19 pandemic has afforded many people the opportunity to switch careers and/or call it quits with their awful jobs.
No job is worth your mental and physical health.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor yourmaeve asked the online community:
"Redditors who changed careers from a high paying but stressful job to a lower paying but low stress job, was it worth it, why or why not?"
"My wife and I sold the house..."
"I didn't make the switch until I was 50. Something about turning 50 sparked a change in me. I previously had high blood pressure issues and I was having stress related fights with the people I love. I started to hate myself. Something had to change."
"My wife and I sold the house in the city and moved up to the high country. I took a low-paying job with a small startup company. I wanted to make a difference (and not just make an income)."
"EVERYTHING about my life got better almost instantly. Do I miss the money? Sometimes, but not often actually. The quality of life is way more important for us. We often comment/joke about how we still feel like were on a vacation."
Congrats on the change! It sounds like you guys are much happier and healthier to boot.
"The check is smaller..."
"Yep. The check is smaller, but comparable to what I would have lost in a divorce in a couple years."
"About a 45% pay cut, but my "real" labor hours dropped from like 65 and permanent on-call status to about 35 hrs or so and after 4pm, I CANNOT BE CONTACTED... worth it. I'm genuinely happier, healthier, and family life is now GREAT instead of slowly decaying."
Congratulations on saving your marriage and family.
"I left after 30 years..."
"Had an IT job. On call 24x7x365 - never knew what situation would come up. Phone would ring and it would make my blood pressure rise. I left after 30 years as they made me part owner, but God that was stressful."
Glad you got out! 30 years is a hell of a long time.
"Although what's interesting..."
"100%. Although what’s interesting is once I didn’t hate my job I did a much better job advancing and now I make about what I did back then."
It makes sense though that you would naturally just do a better job if you aren't hating your life.
"I'd rather be broke..."
"Yes. I'd rather be broke than suicidal."
Amen to that. Glad you're still here with us.
"It has come with some sacrifices..."
"Yes. It has come with some sacrifices, like I can't do the lavish vacations or buy the super fancy cars that all my neighbors do/have, but I also get to be at home every night and weekend. I learned through a stretch of rapid ascent up the corporate ladder that I don't care about that kind of ambition and got super burned out. I'm finally healing."
Healing is necessary. It's great that you've found what's important to you.
"Money is temporary..."
"Most definitely it was. Money is temporary but the peace of mind and much better family life are everything to me."
Peace of mind? A better family life? It sounds like you won the lottery. Well done!
"I used to rake in paychecks..."
"Yes. Yes. Yes."
"I took a 25% base pay-cut 4 years ago to escape a terrible situation at a terrible company. My new job was salaried, no overtime pay but also no real expectation of overtime. No regrets."
"I used to rake in paychecks that started with a $5xxx, net, with overtime but the negative effects on my health made it pointless. If you're working crazy overtime for too long, you're going to wind up in the hospital, especially if it's a high-stress job in a hostile work environment."
"I gave up the overtime, the title, and the base pay for a far better job elsewhere. To be honest, I haven't really even noticed a difference financially since I have far fewer medical expenses nowadays."
You have your health! That's huge. Kudos for escaping such a toxic work environment.
"I didn't really change companies..."
"I didn't really change companies but I had my middle management position eliminated (60+ hour weeks, stress) but was assigned to another position with about a $20k decrease. But it was 35 hour weeks, low stress, less meetings and when the day was over I was done: no after hour calls, no late nights."
"It was awesome and I ended up being glad I didn't leave for another company and another management position. I have since moved on but i wouldn't go back to a stress filled life."
That's great you were able to stay in the same company but find something right for you. I feel like a lot of people have to completely change their field to something different in order to find what works for them.
"Have since moved up..."
"I used to be a healthcare administrator for private practices. High stress, but pretty good pay. Got into IT at the very bottom. Low stress, low pay."
"Have since moved up and my pay has returned to previous levels. Some stressful days, however my worst day now is like an average day in my previous job. Most days are just fine and the good days are very good."
"I'm not high profile anymore and I don't have to wear a tie anymore. It has been worth the pain of losing 70% of my salary for several years. I sleep better and don't dread going to work everyday."
Sleeping better is the goal! Well done.
No job is worth sacrificing your health. Remember that the next time you feel like you're going to lose it and your management team isn't being supportive. You absolutely deserve better.
Have some stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Reddit user kingpin000 asked: 'What failed when it was initially released, but turned out to be ahead of its time years later?'
It is not uncommon in this world for people to be underappreciated or even ridiculed for their work because they were ahead of their time. Nicolaus Copernicus was mocked for his theory that the universe was heliocentric. Jackson Polluck's art was only revered posthumously.
This is true for many things, including inventions, movies, video games, and even restaurants.
Redditors know this all too well. They have identified what things failed when they were initially released but turned out to be ahead of its time, and are eager to share.
It all started when Redditor kingpin000 asked:
"What failed when it was initially released, but turned out to be ahead of its time years later?"
"Viagra. Fascinating history. It was developed as a blood pressure medicine in the 80s. The bonerific side effect was “embarrassing” and “unwanted” in the 80s, but desired a decade or so later when sex became less taboo."
"So, it failed as a mainstream blood pressure pill, but succeeded as a boner pill."
"It's actually used as a blood pressure medication still, but it's for the more rare Pulmonary Hypertension."
That's Why They're Called Sticky Notes
"The glue that became part of Post-Its. The guy who invented them was trying to create a stronger glue for the aerospace industry, but the adhesive he created was a weak adhesive. Years later one of his colleagues used that adhesive to create a bookmark that didn't fall out of the book he was reading. Eventually, that idea became Post-Its."
"If I recall the story correctly, it was a hymn book which had delicate pages."
"The Post-Its adhesive worked great on it by not ripping or ruining the pages."
"I always feel like the Zune and their music model was ahead of its time. 10 dollars month for unlimited downloads while at the time you were paying 1 dollar per single. Now everyone just uses Spotify for the same thing."
"You also got to keep 10 of the songs you downloaded at the end of each month. It was essentially paying for 10 songs with as free streaming on top."
If Only They Waited
"Yes they are everywhere now but the Buicks 1986 model had one, and most cars today have it."
"Hell, the concept was developed in 1965!!!"
"Microsoft pushed a tablet computer about 5 years or so before the iPad got released. It failed miserably and they quickly gave up on the idea."
Almost, But Not Quite
"Vine. They were almost TikTok, but weren’t."
"I don’t understand why Vine died and Tik Tok lives?"
"Because Vine was ahead of its time."
The Big Screen
"The movie Blade Runner."
"Shawshank flopped in the theaters. It's a classic because TNT began airing it because it was cheap. Boys grew up watching Shawshank. Now it's one of IMDb ten greatest films."
"We can also look at It's a Wonderful Life."
"I've said it on here before somewhere. But The Thing went from being an absolute critical bomb at the time... to being one of the most lauded (and rightfully so) horror sci films ever created now. Specific tastes aside, anyone who enjoys horror probably has The Thing in their top 10."
Can't Believe This Flopped
"Bluetooth was released with a huge fanfare and then fizzled for a few years before it really took off."
"This should be a huge one! It flopped on the market for a long time before someone figured out how to use it correctly and now it’s a staple for electronics."
Just When He Got Rid Of It...
"Debit cards. My dad got one in the 70’s when they were a new idea and nobody seemed to understand them and didn’t take them. He finally got rid of his. Now……"
My Favorite Childhood Toy
"Slime (silly putty). originally, it was an attempt to replace rubber during WW2."
"German engineer Andreas Flocken built the first real electric car in 1888. The first electric car in the United States was developed in 1890–91 by William Morrison of Des Moines, Iowa; the vehicle was a six-passenger wagon capable of reaching a speed of 23 km/h (14 mph)."
What Might've Been
"Google Glass the biggest argument against it was ppl being so angry about the wearers filming them. Here we are 10+ years later and everyone films everything everywhere they go. And we have ppl wearing GoPros and other klunky cameras all the time."
"The Google Glass offered AR, filming, assistant functionally, map and web access all in an easy to wear and use piece of tech that was also super cool and futuristic. I think if it had taken off we would have even more advanced models now. It was just WAY too ahead of it's time for widespread adoption. I think it would be wildly popular now."
For Man's Best Friend
"Pets.com. Everyone laughed at the idea after the tech bubble burst. Chewy.com is worth $10B today."
"If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that animal lovers will drop some serious cash."
Shut Up And Drive
"The Sinclair C5 electric vehicle. Complete flop in 1985, but now a thriving hobby as many people are upgrading them with modern batteries, motors, disc brakes, etc. So much fun to drive."
"Can't help but feel had it been succesful, the following iterations would be superior to the e-bikes we have now."
Eye Of The Beholder
"Van Gogh's paintings. Amy Pond from Doctor Who knew how good he was, but none of Vincent's contemporaries did, and he eventually died by his own hand."
Poor Van Gogh. He's my favorite artist!
I'm glad he's appreciated now, even if he wasn't in his own time.
(And this is exactly why Doctor Who's Amy Pond was my favorite companion!)
Life can be destroyed in an instant.
Every single moment of every single day we make choices that can further our existence or ruin it.
Sadly, it often feels like a majority of us choose the latter option.
We only get one life.
Why is it so hard to make the most of it?
We're all guilty of poor decision-making.
That's okay, as long as we learn from it.
It feels like there is always time to right wrongs.
The truth is, there's not.
That clock eventually runs out.
Redditor metalnxrd wanted to hear about the people who have brought personal wreckage to themselves, so they asked:
"Who are some people you know personally, or otherwise, who ruined their own lives, and how?"
I've watched too many people self-destruct.
It all starts in the mirror.
Don't be afraid to look.
All-InSeason 17 What GIF by America's Got TalentGiphy
"Took out a mortgage on his house and leveraged all his other assets to go all-in on Luna coin. It worked beautifully until it didn't."
"Had a buddy who got scouted by professional baseball when we were in high school. They wanted him in the farm system, his mom wanted him in college. So the team allowed it."
"Dude found meth before leaving for college. He never made it there."
"He's now homeless and on his last legs."
"Family member addicted to shopping. She & her husband made really good money and could have had a very comfortable life. Every single year she decided she didn’t like their house, sold at a loss, and then renovated and bought all new designer furniture for every new house. On top of that, she constantly bought multiple pieces of the same designer clothes and jewelry (why?), art, cosmetic procedures etc."
"Eventually they couldn’t even get a mortgage anymore and were in an insane amount of debt, lost their cars and everything else they owned. She ended up stealing her mother’s credit card to use for restaurants and attempted to make a bunch of frivolous lawsuits which just resulted in more legal debt."
Out of Recovery
"I helped an old friend of my mother-in-law for some time, she was in recovery for some years. She had drunk so heavily for so long that she developed a neurological disorder that left her debilitated. She gradually lost her balance, her motor skills and coordination, and is now hospitalized and unable to care for herself."
"She is almost a decade younger than me and her life of independence is over. She will remain bedridden and rely on others for her most basic needs for the remaining years of her life. This is neither far-fetched nor the worst-case scenario, people die from addiction every day."
"Staying in bad relationships, doubling down and marrying and having children. Now they have the same relationship problems that they had ten years ago but with children involved."
Being alone by yourself is better than being alone in a relationship.
If you need a reminder please listen to Ms. Whitney Houston's "It's Not Right, But It's Okay!" on repeat daily.
Tainted LoveShaking Head Reaction GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
"SIL is a trainwreck. Ruined her marriage, ruined her relationship with her kids, lost her house and car, all to be with some abusive piece of crap."
"A friend from HS won a thousand a week for life. Never went to college. Never held down a long-term job. Always worried some lady was trying to take his money by getting pregnant or or stealing it through marriage. Has had a very mediocre life without much progression or new relationships."
"The rest of the friend group used to think he was the luckiest guy alive. Now we all just try to keep his spirits up when we get together and keep our advice to ourselves. He is aware of the solutions to his problems at a 10-mile view but the $1000/week has sapped his will to execute any self-improvement plan."
"Midlife Crisis... Came to a realization they didn't have something they really wanted in their life. Abandoned everything they already had (job, family, friends) to chase that dream. Finally forced to realize what they were chasing was an unobtainable illusion but the damage was already done."
"Someone in our friend group keeps having kids with people and then leaving, screwing him financially because of child support. He can't hold any jobs and has stolen from friends. Right now he's crashing on one of my friend's couches. I dunno why they are allowing him to stay there."
Make better choices.
Do you have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments.
As much as we might like to be, we can't be good at literally everything.
But when we struggle with something that everyone else seems to naturally "get," that can be a hard thing to accept.
Redditor B**IZDeepInUrMom asked:
"What are you below average at?"
"My handwriting is nuts one person described it as looking like a serial killer's mad scribbles."
"A nurse once told me I sign with doctor scribbles."
Carrying a Tune
"Singing. I’m very bad. I only sing in the car and I still fear I may one day be cautioned by police for being so terrible."
"Do you know why I pulled you over? That B was way off-pitch, sir (or ma'am)!! I'm arresting you for murdering that song!"
"One of my biggest fears is pocket-dialing someone while I’m singing in the car."
The Quiet Ones
"Words spoken per day."
"Why say many word, when few word do trick?"
"Yessss, someone who gets it. I use like four words every day at school."
"I go through more, but it's mostly 'Excuse me' and 'Thank you' and other s**t I'm required to say 1,000 times per day to not be thought a sociopath."
"Listening. I'm trying, but it's tough to change a lifetime habit."
"Did you say something?"
Basic Social Interactions
"I SUCK at social interactions."
"'Nice weather today.'"
"A new cringe core memory unlocked."
No Flirting Game
"I'm not good at noticing when someone flirts with me. I'm not even very good at knowing the difference between an extrovert being friendly and them hitting on me."
"My current girlfriend and I met at a club. I was crossing the dance floor; she got in my way, and we had an awkward encounter. Happened a couple more times before I got the clue: 'Oooh, I think she wants us to meet...'"
"Other than my girlfriend, I maintain I have never been flirted with or hit on once."
"Height. I'm only five feet tall."
Elusive Math Skills
"I've always been the kind of guy who 'seems smart' because I'm good with English and communication, and I'm good enough at the kind of 'real world' math like percentages, multiplication, addition and subtraction, etc."
"Then it gets to sh*t like algebra word problems, trig, calculus and I'm suddenly the dumbest person alive and the world thinks I deserve to die alone in poverty. Go figure, eh?"
Poor Sleeping Habits
"Sleeping. As of writing this, I have been struggling to catch up on sleep for about a month and I have been awake for about 16 hours and it is 7:42 AM. I’m so tired."
In Need of Driver's Ed.
"Driving. Watch out for me in the streets!"
"Parallel parking. I’ve been driving for two years now and I’m utter garbage at it. I refuse to parallel park even if there’s no angle parking available."
"My wife claims I’m a pretty lousy mind reader, and I’d have to agree with her."
"Probably the ability to feel good about myself."
"Like, why do I think I'm ugly, or why do I think I'm a good person or why the f**k do I think I am Autistic? Probably because I'm dumb as soup."
"Or you just don't trust your capacity to see yourself more. I struggle with that s**t."
"Investing. I have no clue what to do."
"No one does. It's either people who were rich from the beginning or some random guy who tries to sell you stuff."
Beauty is in the Eye of...
"Convincing my wife she's beautiful."
"The good fight continues."
Clean and Tidy
"Cleaning. I’m slowly getting better but I’m definitely below average."
"Bro, same, I don’t try to be a slob but everything ends up a mess because I get distracted."
"Yeah! And if you’re like me you will not notice until it’s BAD."
If this was not one of the most relatable threads we've read to date, then we don't know what would be.
The funny thing is that, many of these struggles are struggles we all have or at least think that we have. Perhaps that means that we're really not doing as badly as we think we are, and really we just need to show ourselves some grace.
Finally going out on a date with the person you've been chatting with online is a very exciting yet nerve-wracking first step.
But when you finally meet the person with whom you've developed romantic chemistry online, one of two things can happen–Fireworks or bombs.
In other words, being face-to-face with a prospective love interest for the first time can either confirm your hopes or suspicions about the person whom you know very little about online.
Curious to hear nightmare stories about dating life, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What's the worst date you've ever been on?"
People and their obsession with their electronic devices is getting out of hand.
"Sat for 15 minutes to hear him talk about himself, work and his future plans, and then as he asked me 'what about you?" his hand went to reach his phone and he starts scrolling. I can't stress this enough, his hand reaches his phone at the same time those words left his mouth. It felt to me like he already decided whatever I am going to say was going to be boring so might as well multitask as I talk."
"Went on a date with a chick that took my phone and put a picture of her on my Snapchat, I got 20 messages almost instantly from chicks that knew her and told me to stay away. She was 2 months pregnant, didn’t tell me till my friends did. That was a wild date for sure. She was very upset."
"Tinder date. She pulled out her Ipad and started introducing me various insurance plans she is selling."
"Oooooh god that's almost as bad as trying to recruit a first date into your MLM line..."
"I had a date that tried to sell me whole life insurance. She told me before the date to meet her at her office. It was downtown so I thought nothing of it. Then she walks me to her desk and tells me to sign some papers."
Sometimes, dates turn out to be disastrous through no fault of participants.
Things Went Downhill
"I thought I would be a little more adventurous and suggest that we go skiing for a first date. At the time, I lived in the south where the closest ski mountain was 2.5 hours away and it was opening day. It became clear that we probably didn’t click on the drive up, but I figured we’d still have a fun day of skiing. On the first run, maybe 100 yards in, she falls hard and tears her acl, lcl, and mcl. It was a very long and awkward car ride back, and I ended up staying with her for several days after to help care for her since she lived alone and was new to the area. She was a very nice woman, but that was just a lot for a first date."
People were forced to make a run for it.
The Great Escape
"So many bad dates over the years. One of the worst was this guy I met on a dating site. We agreed to go to dinner at a nearby restaurant. Turned out his profile picture really was of himself but it was just a 'few' years old. BS! In person, he straight up looked like Santa Claus on vacation complete with the Hawaiian shirt. I was a little unhappy about that but it wasn’t the end of the world. I thought well maybe he is jolly and fun. That turned out to be a big NO."
"So we ordered dinner and he started talking about ex wife #1. She was a b*tch and crazy. Ex wife #2 was also a b*tch and crazy. Ex wife #3 was a psycho crazy b*tch from hell. He told me ex #3 hit him in the face with a frying pan. He seemed to enjoy my horrified reaction. That was, until I asked what he did he do to her to make her smack him upside the head with said frying pan. Personally, I thought it was an awful date and I couldn’t wait to go home. He ordered dessert. :/"
"mentioned getting home soon and he said We can discuss that later as he was paying for my meal and we were going to enjoy our time together. I waited for a few minutes and politely excused myself to the ladies room. He stood up and watched me go in and was watching me when I came back to the table. It was as if he knew I wanted to bolt out the door. I got my chance when he finally went to the men’s room. I handed the waitress money for my food plus tip and told her I was on a very bad date. I left the restaurant just before he came back from the men’s room. He saw me through the front windows and started screaming like a lunatic. I don’t know what he was saying but I ran to my car!"
Tasks First, Eat Later
"Went out with a guy from POF who lived an hour away from me. (I live in the sticks so this is normal.) I texted him to let him know I was on my way and this dipsh*t proceeded to text me every few minutes to ask me if I was still coming. So much so that I finally had to call him and tell him to stop because I can't text and drive at the same time. In hindsight, I should have turned around and went home right then."
"Finally I get to the place we were meeting. It was a store parking lot. Since we were meeting there and going somewhere else right away, I texted him and said I was there, where are you and he replies insisting I come into the store. He absolutely would NOT come outside to meet me. So I had to spend the first hour of this date following him around an auto parts store while he pawed through every display and bin, not talking to me very much at all."
"Finally he was ready to leave the store and I thought we were going to eat, as we had originally planned. I was starving but he said no, I gotta go return my work uniforms to my old job first. Uhh, okay I guess."
"So we drove in his car to this factory where he parks and says hop out so I can lock my car up. It was cold and rainy so of course he expected me to stand out in it? After like 15 minutes I was like f'k this and I went in the lobby of this place to get out of the rain. For some reason it took this guy 45 more minutes to return his uniforms so I was glad I went into the building to get warm. But apparently this was a huge no-no to him because when he came back out from wherever he went to return this stuff he glared at me like I just dropped trou and took a sh*t in his lap and asked me why I didn't just wait outside. In the cold rain. For almost an hour."
"At last he decided it was time to go to the restaurant. I sat there trying to keep a poker face while he talked to the waitress like he was addressing a toddler, messily stuffed his face and chewed with his mouth open wide and kept glancing around every 30 seconds like he was scared someone was going to see him out with a woman in public."
"Plus he kept asking me invasive and crude sex questions the whole time too. Lovely."
"I quickly inhaled a salad and managed to pay for it at the front without him seeing me, I told him I needed to go to the little girl's room and bounced. Luckily this restaurant was across the highway from the store where I had left my car so I crossed it real quick and blocked him everywhere before I even got the car warmed up."
"I'll betcha a million bucks and a house salad that a**hole was married."
It's unfortunate that people on dating apps aren't always forthright about themselves.
"I wouldn’t say it was the worst but it was the most interesting. Met a lady on a dating app. A Beautiful woman who claimed to be 38 which is my age. I suspected through the pictures she might be in her early 40s. Her profile said she had 3 kids. We talked and she seemed cool. We then met for dinner a week into talking. I could tell she was older but looked younger than she should because of Botox. Within 15 minutes she said she had to tell me the truth because she really likes me. She does not have 3 kids but 6! She is not 38 but 48!"
The Date That Wasn't A Date But Actually Was A Date
"I didn't even know it was a date."
"Girl I worked with was talking up a breakfast place in a nearby town, and I was like 'that sounds great, let's go this weekend!'"
"We went, I had a great time, the pancakes were amazing, and I had fun hanging out with a work friend outside of work. I thought she had a good time too, she was laughing and fully engaged with the conversation just like normal."
"Like three weeks later, I was talking to another coworker when it all came out that she'd been telling people we went on a terrible date, how I didn't even make a move or flirt or do anything that guys she goes on dates with normally do, and how I even talked about a date with another girl at one point."
"I was flabbergasted, my fat a** genuinely thought we were just a couple of friends getting pancakes."
If you're no longer in the dating pool because you found your person, congrats.
There's no doubt you have kissed some frogs along the way to finding true love.
Because if it weren't for all those "horrible dates," you might not be able to appreciate what you've got when the right person comes along.