The bluetooth speaker has become an essential part of our music listening. It's clear and loud and reasonably priced. But we often forget that it's on once the music goes silent. There is nothing to unplug so we tend to carry on and listen to other things and suddenly... everyone around hears a few things they'd rather not. Moral of the story.... we watch too much porn.
Redditor u/0keepsheep0 wanted everyone to own up to a few significant auditory "whoops" moments by asking.... What's your worst accidentally connecting to the bluetooth speaker story?
Oh God!
Giphy
I worked in a high end audio store. Anyways this 18/19 year old kid comes in with his parents to buy a bluetooth speaker. For the next 10 minutes I did a normal demo (it's worth noting that the store was quite full and the space was compact).
The kid then connects his phone and presses play... cue erotic fake screaming mixed in with a few oh gods... Whole store heard, parents embarrassed etc
Kid went bright red... I still made the sale though. Andwhy99
Too Loud.
This sucks but apparently my mom's Toyota Camry wants to connect to my Bluetooth and her car speaker everytime she pulls up into the garage or driveway and she definitely heard some hardcore porn while she pulled up.
I was watching porn then all of the sudden my volume went mute. Obviously the first thing I did was turn the volume up, and dear God was that the wrong choice. I noticed the porn volume at 100% on my phone but it was still silent... my mom heard everything.
She played it off like nothing happened and she didn't just hear screams in her car but I knew... The embarrassment was real. Reddit
Happy Mother's Day!
Yes porn story. Had been playing music on a Bluetooth speaker at a Mother's Day breakfast with family. Later on, some people had left some people hadn't. I jumped in the shower with speaker outside still connected. Thought I'd grab the phone for a quickie in the shower. Started playing the video but wasn't getting any sound. Realized what was going on 5-10 secs in.
Unsure if anyone noticed. And will never ask. alexanderwilloughby
The Grab.
My friend and I were talking and I made the joke about Lemongrab from adventure time. It's like 1 in the morning and my whole house is asleep aside from my friend and I. So I'm trying to play a video but I'm not sure why it wasn't playing. So, I turned it up full volume and I can hear the speaker upstairs scream "UNACCEPTABLE CONDITIONS!" And my stepdad reply "what the f**k?!" VeparTheDemon
Deep of Night.
Giphy
Metal Music I was listening to late at night suddenly blasting through the quiet house at 2:00 am.
My family was not pleased. Space_Gopnik2
WHAAT?!!
Wasn't a Bluetooth speaker but headphones. My dad was using the Bluetooth headphones for a work call and my phone connected to them whilst I was watching this I was watching it cause he promised he would make it and yea by the time I realized it I got a text from my dad saying 'what the f**k are you listening to?' Frizzzazzle
Drive Faster.
Car stereo decided to read out a text I had just received whilst I was playing music off my phone via bluetooth on a work trip. The text was a bitchy remark about the other passenger in the car, clearly in response to gossip I had just texted. We still had 2.5 hours of open road before we reached our destination. Worst drive of my life. 0/10 would never do again. hellosirplantalot
Oh Snap.
I was walking into my room to get something, probably around 10:30 pm and my sister was in the basement. I walked upstairs room and heard a very quit voice talking from her room. I was so scared that I was about to pee my pants because I knew that it was not from anyone in my family. I turned on the light and by pure coincidence as soon as I did that the voices stopped I turned back off he light and waited a little bit and the voices started again. Then I ran downstairs to tell my sister about it.
This whole time she was trying to figure out why her volume on Snapchat was not working. gamer_vegie
Hi Celina.
I was watching porn as any teenage boy does and I managed to accidentally connect it the the sound system in the living room, what they heard was - "Hi my name is Celina and I have a phat a**" (if u know u know) I managed to disconnect it after that, and told my parents it was a prank on a youtube video, don't think they believed it and I've been cautious since! AIDSSTARBEAST
Wide Awake.
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My neighbor keeps blasting hip hop out of my Bluetooth speaker at 2:00 am. Happens once a month for the last year. It's actually why I'm awake right now. moolord
We'll Never Know.
We tried to plant a bluetooth speaker at the customer service desk at work to prank our desk girl and had it connected to a fart sounds app. The thing wouldn't work (proximity, it seems) so as I was taking it back to our electronics department, the bt connected and the biggest fart possible came thundering out of it. Right next to a full line up of people.
Why I didn't turn it off before heading back to my department I'll never know. FreckledLasseh
Never Let Go.
Had friends stay over as a teenager. Spent all day playing Xbox and they crashed downstairs. I went to my room up stairs and started watching Brazilian fart fetish porn. But I couldn't hear anything. So I turned it up full blast. Still Wondering why no sound. Moments later several of my friends barge the door open laughing like F***ERY holding my Bluetooth speaker. I'd forgotten to turn it off from the mornings gaming. They never let that one go 😂 therealconel
Moan Away.
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8th grade. Had my music on Bluetooth. Almost heard a gay porn audio. It was in class, the teacher left when the moaning started. I still don't know how the audio got there. disturbing_boi
Oh Bolly!
Someone connected to my wife and I's Bluetooth speaker in the middle of the night and started blasting some Bollywood soundtrack. Scared the bejeesus out of the both of us and the dog. Gray_side_Jedi
The Blast!
Blasting tunes in the shower, and afterwards it was time for some me time, so found the perfect video and lo and behold, I was blasting moaning through the whole house. nlblocks
YouTube is Dangerous.
At work I had a music video playing on YouTube. It's only audible from my headphones, so I forget about it all the time because I take my headphones off when someone comes to talk to me. I went to a meeting and was attempting to demonstrate something, so I remoted into my computer. Eventually the music started playing, and shortly after that the lyrics came up clear as day "d**k sucking lips." nonameworks
Scream and Shout.
It's nothing terribly scandalous but, I work as a teacher and my subject requires the use of a speaker.
As I walk into the main hall and I'm setting up, I switch on my speaker completing forgetting that I'm listening to music through my headphones. It was very heavy music, lots of swearing and shouting, which I blast out at full volume in a room full of 4-6 year olds and their parents. Not my finest moment. dontknowwhattowrite_
Not Shutdown.
Not a Bluetooth story and it's not even that bad but once I was watching a film on my pc and I had the volume cranked to full because the film was so quiet. Anyway after it ended I shut down the pc and the windows XP shut down sound played through my speakers and nearly shattered every window at 4am. It woke the whole house. BlackCurses
A Rough Connection.
This past Christmas I was home and took my folks car to run an errand (I flew home). I set up the Bluetooth to listen to music. Later my mom, sister, and nephew went to the grocery store. With the house to myself I told them I was going to take a nap. The spare room is over the garage.
You know where this is going... after laying down for a while I realized I may not be by myself for a while so I throw on some porn to j/o. Unfortunately they got home and the car connected to Bluetooth.
It was awkward. SeamusSullivan
Umm... Meow?
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My music automatically connected to my mom's car and started playing what I was previously listening to with my entire good southern Christian family in the car. That song was "P**sy is God." DrDoofDoofDoof
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
That 70S Show Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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