The bluetooth speaker has become an essential part of our music listening. It's clear and loud and reasonably priced. But we often forget that it's on once the music goes silent. There is nothing to unplug so we tend to carry on and listen to other things and suddenly... everyone around hears a few things they'd rather not. Moral of the story.... we watch too much porn.
Redditor u/0keepsheep0 wanted everyone to own up to a few significant auditory "whoops" moments by asking.... What's your worst accidentally connecting to the bluetooth speaker story?
Oh God!
Giphy
I worked in a high end audio store. Anyways this 18/19 year old kid comes in with his parents to buy a bluetooth speaker. For the next 10 minutes I did a normal demo (it's worth noting that the store was quite full and the space was compact).
The kid then connects his phone and presses play... cue erotic fake screaming mixed in with a few oh gods... Whole store heard, parents embarrassed etc
Kid went bright red... I still made the sale though. Andwhy99
Too Loud.
This sucks but apparently my mom's Toyota Camry wants to connect to my Bluetooth and her car speaker everytime she pulls up into the garage or driveway and she definitely heard some hardcore porn while she pulled up.
I was watching porn then all of the sudden my volume went mute. Obviously the first thing I did was turn the volume up, and dear God was that the wrong choice. I noticed the porn volume at 100% on my phone but it was still silent... my mom heard everything.
She played it off like nothing happened and she didn't just hear screams in her car but I knew... The embarrassment was real. Reddit
Happy Mother's Day!
Yes porn story. Had been playing music on a Bluetooth speaker at a Mother's Day breakfast with family. Later on, some people had left some people hadn't. I jumped in the shower with speaker outside still connected. Thought I'd grab the phone for a quickie in the shower. Started playing the video but wasn't getting any sound. Realized what was going on 5-10 secs in.
Unsure if anyone noticed. And will never ask. alexanderwilloughby
The Grab.
My friend and I were talking and I made the joke about Lemongrab from adventure time. It's like 1 in the morning and my whole house is asleep aside from my friend and I. So I'm trying to play a video but I'm not sure why it wasn't playing. So, I turned it up full volume and I can hear the speaker upstairs scream "UNACCEPTABLE CONDITIONS!" And my stepdad reply "what the f**k?!" VeparTheDemon
Deep of Night.
Giphy
Metal Music I was listening to late at night suddenly blasting through the quiet house at 2:00 am.
My family was not pleased. Space_Gopnik2
WHAAT?!!
Wasn't a Bluetooth speaker but headphones. My dad was using the Bluetooth headphones for a work call and my phone connected to them whilst I was watching this I was watching it cause he promised he would make it and yea by the time I realized it I got a text from my dad saying 'what the f**k are you listening to?' Frizzzazzle
Drive Faster.
Car stereo decided to read out a text I had just received whilst I was playing music off my phone via bluetooth on a work trip. The text was a bitchy remark about the other passenger in the car, clearly in response to gossip I had just texted. We still had 2.5 hours of open road before we reached our destination. Worst drive of my life. 0/10 would never do again. hellosirplantalot
Oh Snap.
I was walking into my room to get something, probably around 10:30 pm and my sister was in the basement. I walked upstairs room and heard a very quit voice talking from her room. I was so scared that I was about to pee my pants because I knew that it was not from anyone in my family. I turned on the light and by pure coincidence as soon as I did that the voices stopped I turned back off he light and waited a little bit and the voices started again. Then I ran downstairs to tell my sister about it.
This whole time she was trying to figure out why her volume on Snapchat was not working. gamer_vegie
Hi Celina.
I was watching porn as any teenage boy does and I managed to accidentally connect it the the sound system in the living room, what they heard was - "Hi my name is Celina and I have a phat a**" (if u know u know) I managed to disconnect it after that, and told my parents it was a prank on a youtube video, don't think they believed it and I've been cautious since! AIDSSTARBEAST
Wide Awake.
Giphy
My neighbor keeps blasting hip hop out of my Bluetooth speaker at 2:00 am. Happens once a month for the last year. It's actually why I'm awake right now. moolord
We'll Never Know.
We tried to plant a bluetooth speaker at the customer service desk at work to prank our desk girl and had it connected to a fart sounds app. The thing wouldn't work (proximity, it seems) so as I was taking it back to our electronics department, the bt connected and the biggest fart possible came thundering out of it. Right next to a full line up of people.
Why I didn't turn it off before heading back to my department I'll never know. FreckledLasseh
Never Let Go.
Had friends stay over as a teenager. Spent all day playing Xbox and they crashed downstairs. I went to my room up stairs and started watching Brazilian fart fetish porn. But I couldn't hear anything. So I turned it up full blast. Still Wondering why no sound. Moments later several of my friends barge the door open laughing like F***ERY holding my Bluetooth speaker. I'd forgotten to turn it off from the mornings gaming. They never let that one go 😂 therealconel
Moan Away.
Giphy
8th grade. Had my music on Bluetooth. Almost heard a gay porn audio. It was in class, the teacher left when the moaning started. I still don't know how the audio got there. disturbing_boi
Oh Bolly!
Someone connected to my wife and I's Bluetooth speaker in the middle of the night and started blasting some Bollywood soundtrack. Scared the bejeesus out of the both of us and the dog. Gray_side_Jedi
The Blast!
Blasting tunes in the shower, and afterwards it was time for some me time, so found the perfect video and lo and behold, I was blasting moaning through the whole house. nlblocks
YouTube is Dangerous.
At work I had a music video playing on YouTube. It's only audible from my headphones, so I forget about it all the time because I take my headphones off when someone comes to talk to me. I went to a meeting and was attempting to demonstrate something, so I remoted into my computer. Eventually the music started playing, and shortly after that the lyrics came up clear as day "d**k sucking lips." nonameworks
Scream and Shout.
It's nothing terribly scandalous but, I work as a teacher and my subject requires the use of a speaker.
As I walk into the main hall and I'm setting up, I switch on my speaker completing forgetting that I'm listening to music through my headphones. It was very heavy music, lots of swearing and shouting, which I blast out at full volume in a room full of 4-6 year olds and their parents. Not my finest moment. dontknowwhattowrite_
Not Shutdown.
Not a Bluetooth story and it's not even that bad but once I was watching a film on my pc and I had the volume cranked to full because the film was so quiet. Anyway after it ended I shut down the pc and the windows XP shut down sound played through my speakers and nearly shattered every window at 4am. It woke the whole house. BlackCurses
A Rough Connection.
This past Christmas I was home and took my folks car to run an errand (I flew home). I set up the Bluetooth to listen to music. Later my mom, sister, and nephew went to the grocery store. With the house to myself I told them I was going to take a nap. The spare room is over the garage.
You know where this is going... after laying down for a while I realized I may not be by myself for a while so I throw on some porn to j/o. Unfortunately they got home and the car connected to Bluetooth.
It was awkward. SeamusSullivan
Umm... Meow?
Giphy
My music automatically connected to my mom's car and started playing what I was previously listening to with my entire good southern Christian family in the car. That song was "P**sy is God." DrDoofDoofDoof
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
Away Messages
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"
GiphyThe Unknown
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."
GiphyThe Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."
GiphyFiguring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."
GiphyEndless Learning
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"
GiphyMaking Friends
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."
GiphyA Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
- tsoldrin
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
- dramboxf
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."
GiphyGo Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
- dienices
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."
GiphyIt Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."
GiphyWe Used To Love Yahoo
"Yahoo Answers"
"Yahoo Pool"
- inaclick
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."
GiphyOn a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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