The bluetooth speaker has become an essential part of our music listening. It's clear and loud and reasonably priced. But we often forget that it's on once the music goes silent. There is nothing to unplug so we tend to carry on and listen to other things and suddenly... everyone around hears a few things they'd rather not. Moral of the story.... we watch too much porn.
Redditor u/0keepsheep0 wanted everyone to own up to a few significant auditory "whoops" moments by asking.... What's your worst accidentally connecting to the bluetooth speaker story?
Oh God!
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I worked in a high end audio store. Anyways this 18/19 year old kid comes in with his parents to buy a bluetooth speaker. For the next 10 minutes I did a normal demo (it's worth noting that the store was quite full and the space was compact).
The kid then connects his phone and presses play... cue erotic fake screaming mixed in with a few oh gods... Whole store heard, parents embarrassed etc
Kid went bright red... I still made the sale though. Andwhy99
Too Loud.
This sucks but apparently my mom's Toyota Camry wants to connect to my Bluetooth and her car speaker everytime she pulls up into the garage or driveway and she definitely heard some hardcore porn while she pulled up.
I was watching porn then all of the sudden my volume went mute. Obviously the first thing I did was turn the volume up, and dear God was that the wrong choice. I noticed the porn volume at 100% on my phone but it was still silent... my mom heard everything.
She played it off like nothing happened and she didn't just hear screams in her car but I knew... The embarrassment was real. Reddit
Happy Mother's Day!
Yes porn story. Had been playing music on a Bluetooth speaker at a Mother's Day breakfast with family. Later on, some people had left some people hadn't. I jumped in the shower with speaker outside still connected. Thought I'd grab the phone for a quickie in the shower. Started playing the video but wasn't getting any sound. Realized what was going on 5-10 secs in.
Unsure if anyone noticed. And will never ask. alexanderwilloughby
The Grab.
My friend and I were talking and I made the joke about Lemongrab from adventure time. It's like 1 in the morning and my whole house is asleep aside from my friend and I. So I'm trying to play a video but I'm not sure why it wasn't playing. So, I turned it up full volume and I can hear the speaker upstairs scream "UNACCEPTABLE CONDITIONS!" And my stepdad reply "what the f**k?!" VeparTheDemon
Deep of Night.
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Metal Music I was listening to late at night suddenly blasting through the quiet house at 2:00 am.
My family was not pleased. Space_Gopnik2
WHAAT?!!
Wasn't a Bluetooth speaker but headphones. My dad was using the Bluetooth headphones for a work call and my phone connected to them whilst I was watching this I was watching it cause he promised he would make it and yea by the time I realized it I got a text from my dad saying 'what the f**k are you listening to?' Frizzzazzle
Drive Faster.
Car stereo decided to read out a text I had just received whilst I was playing music off my phone via bluetooth on a work trip. The text was a bitchy remark about the other passenger in the car, clearly in response to gossip I had just texted. We still had 2.5 hours of open road before we reached our destination. Worst drive of my life. 0/10 would never do again. hellosirplantalot
Oh Snap.
I was walking into my room to get something, probably around 10:30 pm and my sister was in the basement. I walked upstairs room and heard a very quit voice talking from her room. I was so scared that I was about to pee my pants because I knew that it was not from anyone in my family. I turned on the light and by pure coincidence as soon as I did that the voices stopped I turned back off he light and waited a little bit and the voices started again. Then I ran downstairs to tell my sister about it.
This whole time she was trying to figure out why her volume on Snapchat was not working. gamer_vegie
Hi Celina.
I was watching porn as any teenage boy does and I managed to accidentally connect it the the sound system in the living room, what they heard was - "Hi my name is Celina and I have a phat a**" (if u know u know) I managed to disconnect it after that, and told my parents it was a prank on a youtube video, don't think they believed it and I've been cautious since! AIDSSTARBEAST
Wide Awake.
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My neighbor keeps blasting hip hop out of my Bluetooth speaker at 2:00 am. Happens once a month for the last year. It's actually why I'm awake right now. moolord
We'll Never Know.
We tried to plant a bluetooth speaker at the customer service desk at work to prank our desk girl and had it connected to a fart sounds app. The thing wouldn't work (proximity, it seems) so as I was taking it back to our electronics department, the bt connected and the biggest fart possible came thundering out of it. Right next to a full line up of people.
Why I didn't turn it off before heading back to my department I'll never know. FreckledLasseh
Never Let Go.
Had friends stay over as a teenager. Spent all day playing Xbox and they crashed downstairs. I went to my room up stairs and started watching Brazilian fart fetish porn. But I couldn't hear anything. So I turned it up full blast. Still Wondering why no sound. Moments later several of my friends barge the door open laughing like F***ERY holding my Bluetooth speaker. I'd forgotten to turn it off from the mornings gaming. They never let that one go 😂 therealconel
Moan Away.
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8th grade. Had my music on Bluetooth. Almost heard a gay porn audio. It was in class, the teacher left when the moaning started. I still don't know how the audio got there. disturbing_boi
Oh Bolly!
Someone connected to my wife and I's Bluetooth speaker in the middle of the night and started blasting some Bollywood soundtrack. Scared the bejeesus out of the both of us and the dog. Gray_side_Jedi
The Blast!
Blasting tunes in the shower, and afterwards it was time for some me time, so found the perfect video and lo and behold, I was blasting moaning through the whole house. nlblocks
YouTube is Dangerous.
At work I had a music video playing on YouTube. It's only audible from my headphones, so I forget about it all the time because I take my headphones off when someone comes to talk to me. I went to a meeting and was attempting to demonstrate something, so I remoted into my computer. Eventually the music started playing, and shortly after that the lyrics came up clear as day "d**k sucking lips." nonameworks
Scream and Shout.
It's nothing terribly scandalous but, I work as a teacher and my subject requires the use of a speaker.
As I walk into the main hall and I'm setting up, I switch on my speaker completing forgetting that I'm listening to music through my headphones. It was very heavy music, lots of swearing and shouting, which I blast out at full volume in a room full of 4-6 year olds and their parents. Not my finest moment. dontknowwhattowrite_
Not Shutdown.
Not a Bluetooth story and it's not even that bad but once I was watching a film on my pc and I had the volume cranked to full because the film was so quiet. Anyway after it ended I shut down the pc and the windows XP shut down sound played through my speakers and nearly shattered every window at 4am. It woke the whole house. BlackCurses
A Rough Connection.
This past Christmas I was home and took my folks car to run an errand (I flew home). I set up the Bluetooth to listen to music. Later my mom, sister, and nephew went to the grocery store. With the house to myself I told them I was going to take a nap. The spare room is over the garage.
You know where this is going... after laying down for a while I realized I may not be by myself for a while so I throw on some porn to j/o. Unfortunately they got home and the car connected to Bluetooth.
It was awkward. SeamusSullivan
Umm... Meow?
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My music automatically connected to my mom's car and started playing what I was previously listening to with my entire good southern Christian family in the car. That song was "P**sy is God." DrDoofDoofDoof
War Face GIF
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Apparently, their sense of humor has no bounds. Curious to hear from drill sergeants online, Redditor darkstalker1000 asked:
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
Longheld Punishment
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
Confusing Paycheck
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
Eye-Level Reprimand
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
The Stain
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
– ScootaFL
Ambush Training
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
The Replacement
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
– Konebred
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.