People Share Their Best 'Oh Wait, I Might Not Be Straight' Experiences
Every person, no matter what age has that Oprah "Ah-ha" moment when it comes to the realization about sexual identity. Yes, nowadays, thankfully, it's a more accepting, inclusive world, at least more accepting than it used to be but progress has been made. But before one comes out to the world one must have a self reckoning. And those experiences can often be the most surprising. There is always a moment you can point to and say... "that was when I knew." And those moments can be chill or chuck full of drama.
Redditor u/UnsettlingAura wanted to see who would be willing to admit and discuss the moment they realized.... maybe it's time to explore some alternate ideas by asking.... What was your "oh crap I might not be straight" moment?That Dude
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjE1Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MDUyODM3NH0.O9t1ood98aphG1lnnQPLp6jhstvAPAO1Goleo0-D3Rs/img.gif?width=980" id="c9e90" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e221f10614255992ed98eb13794d58f2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />sexy boy GIFGiphy<p>When I said to my friend "This dude is cool, I wouldn't ask him out, but if he asked me I wouldn't refuse" turns out I'm gay and shy. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcyi79w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ThyAlphaGod</a><span></span></p>At 23....
<p>My therapist was doing a series of quick questions and asked "you like boys?" and I was like "yeah" "and you like girls?" and I said "...no? I don't know?" and he "well, straight people normally answer that one waaay differently"</p><p>Then it hit me, at 23, that I'm not straight (might be bi) and finding that actress pretty, fantasizing about a girl 2 years my senior wasn't me "being so ok with being straight that I was ok with having experiences with women" I actually kinda like them so yeah, I was that oblivious. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcyettb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mippi_</a><span></span></p>School Chums
<p>I used to have this thought to myself in high school about my friend! I really didn't want to be gay. but I had to confront the thought that if she wanted to be my girlfriend, I would have wanted that too.</p><p>She didn't, and also I didn't tell anyone haha. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcyty45?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lookingup9</a></p>Fiery....
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjE3NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3NzU4NjIxMH0.kZGMLn7HwZ2IXVy3sYFv5UXRzZFfaB7QrbgZNhty-QU/img.gif?width=980" id="32d4e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="bc14e72b8bf102bd696f328483c42f84" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="320" />Giphy<p>When I was little and whenever I read books about a straight couple in love, and the woman was this fiery goddess, I never wanted to be the gorgeous woman in the book, I was curious about how it felt to fall for one. I loved the idea of it. Then, I started to develop intense crushes on girls. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcy4gy1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HangaGoochie</a><span></span></p>Discussing Philip
<p>Met a girl via Twitter through a tag, started talking, then moved to video calls. Every time a notification came up on my phone from her, I got that warm faced, fuzzy chest feeling. "we're just good friends" I said to myself (like a liar). "She's just really sweet and I like talking to her." Four months of this and one day she mentions Philip. I ask her who that is, as I'd never heard the name from her before.</p>Famous Ladies
<p>One time in high school, I knew a girl who was really attached to me. I had low self esteem and she would always be happy with me and she would say things like "You look cute today" and "That skirt matches your eyes". I never thought she liked me because I would just think, nobody can like me or I would just think I was lucky to have someone so nice. It was by valentines day she made me chocolate in a little pink lock and lock as she confessed her love to me. I almost fainted as I coughed in shock. Wrong reaction. </p>I Heart Hermione
<p>Very first clue that I was bi was rewatching Harry Potter when I was 11 and wanting to make out with Hermione super bad. Then when I was 13 me and my friends were all at a sleepover and, since we were horny teens, we played spin the bottle. I got my best friend and it was like the best thing ever. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcy0igk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">warlocks_best_class</a></p>Can't Change the Channel
<p>The day when I was 16 and had just realized that the only porn that i had been watching up to that point for the last 5 years was the gay kind. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcy83xl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sssoft_and_sssubtle</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcy83xl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a><span></span>You: <em>watching gay porn</em></p><p>You, 5 years later: <em>still watching gay porn</em></p><p><em>Wait a second... </em></p><p><em></em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcyzxwb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DankNastyAssMaster</a></p>"We" Love Lucie
<p>When my best friend came out as a lesbian and my brain went automatically "YES WE HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER....... wait" so turns out I'm bi.</p><p><strong><em>Edit:</em></strong> by "we"I mean me (a dummy) and whatever runs my emotions, and no I did not say I had a chance with her out loud</p><p><strong><em>Second edit: </em></strong>For clarification, no, we never got together. </p>A Girl Crush
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDgwMjI2My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2ODk3MzU1NX0.XXQqimvSVxF3en8vE8cnyjXuKA_kg0Opycbu0REa7JE/img.gif?width=980" id="ecbb2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b785de6a13d91b6e0dd98da3a4df6a78" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />Love You Smile GIF by The SwoonGiphy<p>When I was 13/14 I was at a sleepover. We discussed our "boys we fancied list" then our "girl crush list".</p><p>They named celebrities, I named like... Holly from Drama Class, one of our female teachers, a girl in the year above. And was yeah "yeah she's pretty and she's so cute when she ...."</p>"HER"
<p>I wrote a very long diary entry in late middle school about how beautiful my best friend looked as she slept at a sleepover. I wrote in detail about her fluttering eyelashes, her smooth skin, her parted lips, her deep breathing, etc. I closed it out by saying that I'm not homosexual and I never would be, I just thought my best friend was a beautiful soul.</p><p>We started dating a couple months later. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcy5ghy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">musicphantom24601</a></p>He's a "10!"
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0ODUzMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNDE4OTEwMn0.fNtcQ5WnhVS6PKG2afkef1BSACquySEqbKLUHcBJrQQ/img.gif?width=980" id="538eb" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="444216ad3c95c843840a032146db00f0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="384" data-height="216" />Reaction GIF by moodmanGiphy<p>Realizing that a male friend was objectively more attractive than my girlfriend. Took me another 20 years to admit to myself that I was bi, though! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mangosta007/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mangosta007</a><span></span></p>I'm Comfortable
<p>Was year 10 uk (maybe 15). on a school trip to the US, shared a 2 double bed room with 3 upper 6th (17-18) guys, this would be back in 2007ish, when skinny indie kids with greasy hair were the thing. One of them was this guy, who was 18 and I thought he was so mature and grown up, he wore a proper thick woolen trenchcoat and told stories about girls giving bjs under it, which felt like I was talking to some sort of wizard. He had very pale gray blue eyes, but with dark skin and messy curly dark hair so they really stood out. </p>The Ladies
<p>Megara from Hercules (and Hercules).</p><p>Chel from Road to El Dorado.</p><p>Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.</p><p>Lola Bunny in Space Jam.</p><p>(And quite recently reignited my passion for men too) Zagreus from Hades. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcxzvii?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TaterThotsandRavioli</a><span></span></p>Googled It
<p>Sitting there googling "am I a lesbian" quizzes lol</p><p>Well the first sign probably should've been lil 4th grade me, after learning of the existence of gay people, laying there at night thinking, "aww man, gay girls are so lucky. Wish I could date a girl! Oh well, guess I'll marry a man."</p><p>Or the countless times groups of girls would be obsessing over how cute some dude was and I'd be standing there like ???</p><p>Or maybe the fantasies I had in 6th grade about me dating a girl I was friends with.</p>the sex is in the heel....
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0ODUzNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3NDYxMTE1MH0._-5XZwnn3-mx4zJZlZfGQhj-onHqpQ-bbo6iN09NFuc/img.gif?width=980" id="cb3cd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="aa8df0123f519b18d11239eb95900089" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="300" data-height="225" />high heels wall GIFGiphy<p>When I saw a woman dressed in a business suit, but with a skirt. She had on heels and tights with a black line going up the back of her legs. That sight with the click of her heels... I didn't just like boys! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcy6i0p?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Rotley1</a></p>When Blogging....
<p>I was reading a blog and it said bisexuality was imagining yourself married to either gender and being happy with it. It's probably not an accurate statement but I figured yeah, I'd be totally fine with either.</p><p>Later on I thought about the sex part, was completely repulsed and learned the term 'asexual'. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcy26gw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">iamnotarob0t</a></p>So Shy
<p>I really liked the dude and he really liked me to, we were both to shy to say but you could tell from a mile away due to happenings like these, I changed HS on third year and the beautiful love story came to an end, we did meet afterwards and I swear we could have had sex then and there but neither made a move, I'm still in love with that dude and have been in for 9 years since I met him, and I'm afraid next year I'm letting it go, I have to live my life. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcybaan?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">caribe5</a><span></span></p>Proof at the Louvre....
<p>I don't think I'm gay since in relationship dynamics I much more prefer the company of women. However since the first time I went to the Louvre at 13, I was really fascinated with all those statues and paintings of naked men. So yeah, I'd say a beautiful body is a beautiful body, no matter the sex. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcxv2pv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> I_love_DPs</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_love_DPs/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p>After the Shower
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDg0ODU0MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNjcyMTI3MH0.2I68YV2HpuHFQRTGNqOxyedlskxMRE2_3ttRfdOyc9c/img.gif?width=980" id="b1f55" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4bfa9d91d7037989c498f52959ec3625" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="266" />John Cusack Film GIFGiphy<p>i was over my friends house and he took a shower and came back to his room naked and started playing Fortnite naked i was way too interested in looking at him that i knew i wasn't straight. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jxow2l/what_was_your_oh_shit_i_might_not_be_straight/gcxudfu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Reddit</a></p>LGBTQ+ People Explain Which Things They Deal With On A Regular Basis That Straight People May Not Realize
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay |
In 2020 when we discuss acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community, we have to acknowledge and rejoice that we have come so far. We really have. But somedays it feel like there are still miles to run to get to the finish line.
In this time of culture war and grand renaissance we're all learning. And hetero/cisgender people still need to understand a few things. The best route to understanding is empathy. If you don't know, then ask me. Ask me about my fears, my goals and my triumphs as it all pertains to my struggle as a gay man. You'll be surprised about our similarities and about what the community still must endure while you believed the struggle was over. Just don't be inappropriate.... unless you're asking me out.
Redditor u/Eat-the-Poor was hoping the LGBTQ community members would be willing to share some truths that need to be heard by asking.... Homosexuals of Reddit, what is something about being gay that a straight person would never guess is a thing you have to deal with on a regular basis?
TMI
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDY2MDE4Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjQ4MjAyN30.SmMcWY-oTjQBSydgkKU6MIfxQ2lUkkSjcOo8RIs6wpw/img.gif?width=980" id="2cf96" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1faae6bede3a0fcfbc6321efab1f6478" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="498" data-height="272" />Ummm GIF by memecandyGiphy<p>People asking how you have sex. I've had neighbors, a former boss, and family members ask me immediately after I told them I have a serious girlfriend. Its like, you wouldn't ask a straight person that. </p>Looking Forward
<p>Having some sort of conception of the future.</p><p>Since gay marriage is a relatively recent thing (and it came suddenly and unexpectedly) you never grew up assuming that you would ever get married, have kids, or build a home. The question of "what do I want to do with my life" really was never addressed in your younger years because you assumed there was no future for you. </p>Do No Harm
<p>People just don't understand what it's like. And there's no ill intentions in many cases!</p><p>I live in a very liberal, gay friendly area. I recently had to get tested for an uncommon urinary bacterial infection (which ultimately just turned out to just be problems induced from sitting more due to COVID WFH). The doctor saw my ring and started to go on about if it came back positive my wife would need to be tested as well, risks to women, etc. </p>Always Out
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDY2MDMyOS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzk5OTEyMX0.fEt-k7tN1-ACsveu5AYmWcjziNziSZuh1B8cG9pxNqU/img.gif?width=980" id="ea50e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b4908b36626a4405bdd80c5675958c22" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="320" />gay pride rainbow GIF by Capital Pride | Have Pride 365!Giphy<p>Once you come out you never truly stop coming out. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlaknz/homosexuals_of_reddit_what_is_something_about/gaoiggh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bunnystrawbery</a></p><p>Every time you fly, cross a border, get stopped by a cop etc. Same question and how do the two of you know each other? I am always tempted to say "We have been sleeping with each other for 35 yrs." But I never will. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlaknz/homosexuals_of_reddit_what_is_something_about/gaop246?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RightrevJames</a></p>Just Asking...
<p>My next door neighbor that I spend a lot of time with was raised extremely religious to the point where she wasn't exposed to pretty much anything. (No Harry Potter, no news). When I told her I was bi, she had a lot of questions, but it was kind of refreshing to be able to answer honest questions without dealing with preconceptions. She was very sweet and kind about it. She just wanted to understand what she's never been exposed to before. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlaknz/homosexuals_of_reddit_what_is_something_about/gapn4hs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">begoniann</a></p>Never One and Done
<p>The mini internal debate you have every time you tell a story about your SO. Do I say friend or girlfriend? Have I come out to this person yet? Is there someone in the vicinity who I don't want knowing I'm gay? If I do say gf, will the person think I'm getting political/over sharing even though they wouldn't think that if I said boyfriend instead of girlfriend? Coming out is not a one-and-done deal. You have to make that snap judgement a thousand times and every time it's scary. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlaknz/homosexuals_of_reddit_what_is_something_about/gao0ytt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">brenthebrave</a></p>Convo with Dad
<p>The first thing that comes to mind is a few years back I was talking to my dad, and he mentioned when he met my mother, she was having serious family issues with her own father. They didn't get along, at all, and my dad helped solve the issue because the way he was raised... family was the most important thing, and he "couldn't date a woman who didn't get along with her family."</p>Danger
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDY2MDM3Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2NTEwOTIzNX0.ZrD24YTEj2P3a801itUd9qd1_uyDok0MUqkJwnTje7E/img.gif?width=980" id="4cbf1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7720640ed790d99b553d2afa6e16d473" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="198" />Meaning Excuse Me GIF by 1091Giphy<p>Knowing that there are some people who really hate gays even though everyone today pretends they are totally cool with them, and there's always a chance decisions will be made at work that result in you not getting the promotion or straight-up getting fired. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlaknz/homosexuals_of_reddit_what_is_something_about/gao2yrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TillikumWasFramed</a></p>The "It" Approval
<p>People being overly loving of my sexuality, sometimes it feels really forced. I appreciate the support, but I feel like it's trendy to support gay people.</p><p>It's something to be celebrated. But for example, it's like acting like someone's 28th birthday is just as meaningful and a milestone as age 30.</p><p>I grew up Catholic, and my parents and friends were super against gay people. Now that it's trendy I feel like it's easier to support. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlaknz/homosexuals_of_reddit_what_is_something_about/ganydvy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kennybearrr</a></p>I Do
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDY2MDQ1OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3Mzg0MTY3M30.pD3R6iSLjyBtHlC4drlnYKjCbRz6CS6fcG-1pqwJWss/img.gif?width=980" id="6397c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="aaa9121dd4f6c11bb36aeaa3364b794e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />Episode 12 Showtime GIF by ShamelessGiphy<p>Planning my wedding was a pain.</p><p>"Are you going to wear a dress? Are you going to have bridesmaids or groomsmen? Where do we sit? Are you allowed to do it in a church"</p>‘Inter-tech-ionality’: Cracking the Code to Better Representation
Last year, a poll of 7,000 LGBTQ tech employees in Silicon Valley asked if they'd experienced homophobic harassment at work. 40% said yes.
But while that number is disheartening, the report made no mention of what the makeup of that percentile was.
Leanne Pittsford has an idea on how to address that.
People who engage with more than one gender have a really unique experience.
Those of us who fall squarely into heterosexual or homosexual know the emotional and sexual patterns of the genders we are attracted to, for the most part. We know what to expect on a first date or in a long term relationship.
We don't have to keep track of too much information. Bisexual folks on the other hand? They have their work cut out for them.
Cuddle Time
<p>As a bisexual man, it's awesome to be little spoon and actually fit. I know that's probably not what you're looking for, but it's the first thing that came to mind.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NedWretched/" target="_blank">NedWretched</a></p>Snail's Pace
<p>In my experience, relationships with men move a lot slower than relationships with women.</p><p>In a relationship with a man, we talk for several weeks, then we date for a month before we even discuss defining the relationship. With women, you go on two dates, and then she has a drawer at your place.</p><p>I'm a woman in my late 20s. I've had 4 girlfriends and 3 boyfriends since I was 15. Edited again: Thanks for the gold!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/cryrabanks/" target="_blank">cryrabanks</a></p>Homophobia: Alive And Well
<p>I'm a bi woman and to be honest the biggest difference for me is other people's perception of my relationship.</p><p>When I date men I don't get the same 21 questions from strangers and family members as to why I've made the choice to date that person.</p><p>Also once when I was dating a woman my step-grandma asked me not to hold her hand or kiss her at Thanksgiving dinner so that it wouldn't "confuse the children"... They've never asked me to withhold public affection from male partners. I think I've dated more men than women long term because it was the path of least resistance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/prettygirlpuking/" target="_blank">prettygirlpuking</a></p>It's Called Not The Bare Minimum
<p>As a man, men who've only dated women before are really easy to impress. I bought my ex dinner a few times and he just about lost his mind because no one had done that for him before. I've heard lesbians say the same thing about women, so I think it's more of a societal expectation thing than anything else.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/enjollras/" target="_blank">enjollras</a></p>Getting Faster
<p>From my experience at least, wlw relationships tend to move faster? I can't explain it like when I was with my ex we were so ride or die since day one, saying i love you after less than a month together, very intense overall. Also unfortunately, sometimes you get to realize how much bias and prejudice your "friends" and family might secretly hold.</p><p>With men, I never had something like that. There were a lot more downtime I guess? Also no fear about having to go out while holding hands, or introducing to the family.</p><p>Although, aside from a few things, I think it's very different overall because people are different, ya know? Like my ex was very extroverted and my bf is very introverted, so the dynamic changes because of that too.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/blueparkelephant/" target="_blank">blueparkelephant</a></p>Again, Not The Bare Minimum
<p>With most of the women I dated, gift/acts of kindness were an every day thing. Like, I'd make an extra stop for something they liked and it wouldn't be a big deal to them.</p><p>Every. Single. Guy. I have dated has lost their minds over the little things. When my husband and I first started dating, I stopped and got him a slushie while I got gas, not even an extra stop. I just set it in front of him at his apartment and you'd have thought it was the Holy Grail.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sewwhatdowehavehere/" target="_blank">sewwhatdowehavehere</a></p>Let's Gender Dumb Things!
<p>With a hetero relationship, there a lot of gender based assumptions. The dude drive and kills the bugs. The woman remembers that they're out of milk and arranges social things. It's not always true, but even then it feels like you're breaking the norm and "different". With gays there is much less expectations. Chores tend to be distributed evenly. Who kills the bugs is sometimes both or neither.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/boom_boom_bang_/" target="_blank">boom_boom_bang_</a></p>Tossed Around
<p>I'm a small human, and when I date women they're mostly my size, but men are usually at least 6" taller and have 50 pounds on me. There are a lot of physical differences with cuddling and sex with partners of different sizes. I love that men can pick me up (when I want them to) and that I get to feel tiny and safe with men I trust. With women, it's more equal, so we switch back and forth between being the cuddler and the cuddlee. Also with women, we usually take turns (getting attention) during sex whereas with men it's more likely to be just one effort. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/janes_left_shoe/" target="_blank">janes_left_shoe</a></p>That Homophobia Will Getcha Every Time
<p>I've dated more women than men, but both of the guys were way easier and more direct than any of the women were. Sex with a guy is easier to get started; literally you can be playing video games on the couch and suddenly you're both horny and going for it. Women need more prep time, generally, it's almost never 0-100 in a flash. It's slower to get started and longer to reach the finish, but in my opinion it is more satisfying when you both get there.</p><p>Culturally it is easier to date women as it isn't immediately seen as taboo by most people. Almost nobody will bat an eye if you kiss as hetero in public, but you'll get a look or two if you're the same gender.</p><p>These have been my experiences and in no way do I think it is universal, just the folks that have been nice enough to date me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Nonsenseinabag/" target="_blank">Nonsenseinabag</a></p>Sharing Time!
<p>As a guy I found I get more excited for Christmas when I date guys rather than girls because it's a mutual want and desire (you get to share most things, clothes and video games). Woman are sweeter and love little gestures more than guys. Like when I do the dishes or make supper or clean the house they get super appreciative. Guys just brush it off or don't notice those kind of efforts.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PopcornEverywhere/" target="_blank">PopcornEverywhere</a></p>Since we grow up in a world where it is assumed that we will be straight, we don't receive a lot of education on the LGBTQ+ community. Most places receive zero education, as decades of homophobia and gay erasure rear their ugly heads even in modern society.
So curiosity from straight people is natural. It's welcome. It only helps break down the walls between our communities.