People Break Down The Dumbest Things They've Ever Been Called 'Gay' For Doing
Reddit user Spagoobli0 asked: 'What is the dumbest thing people called you gay for?'
One of the lamest ways to insult someone is by describing their behavior as being gay.
The attempt at emasculating a perceived straight heterosexual male by comparing his actions to something that a homosexual male might do is a common form of mockery by alpha males.
Examples include mocking a guy who gets manicures, wears pink, or sits with his legs crossed. "Gay, gay gay," says the immature antagonizer.
Typically, the ribbing occurs between friends and is not prompted by verbal attacks.
Still, this casual form of bullying can be tiresome and only perpetuates misconceptions and stereotypes that can be harmful to the LGBTQ+ community.
Strangers online shared their experiences being targeted when Redditor Spagoobli0 asked:
"What is the dumbest thing people called you gay for?"
Apparently, maintaining good hygiene is so gay.
Being Clean
"i was called gay for showering daily."
– ilive4manass
"with other men?"
– intheken
Scrubbing The Backside
"I was told it was gay to wash my a**. The guy was recently evicted for defecating on his own floor for 6 months and not paying taxes."
– my-recent-throwaway
Pro-Tip
"In boot camp we shower with other dudes. I had someone call me gay in the shower for washing my a**. As if the only reason for washing my a** is to make it presentable for someone else. Nah, dude, I just don’t want skid marks in the tighty whities they make us wear."
"It’s not even like I was doing it weird. Like if I was bent over spreading my cheeks so everyone could see my brown eye, that would be one thing. But I literally just took a handful of suds and ran it down the crack a couple times because, pro tip to my fellow dudes; the water running down your back is not enough to clean the part of you that poop comes out of."
– Morningxafter
Lotion Up
"I once had a friend of mine stop by before we were going to meet some people for brunch. I had just taken a shower and gotten dressed when he walked in the front door (I always had a just walk in policy, suburban life). I have pretty dry skin so I was putting on a bit of moisturizing lotion. First words out of his mouth were 'moisturizing? That’s pretty gay isn’t it?' I said 'If feeling like I don’t want to scrape my skin off is gay, whip out the d*cks!'”
– bg-j38
Keeping up with appearances is hard enough.
The Damaging Effects
"'Gay' was the first 'dis' I ever heard, I had no idea what it meant for like a year. I just knew it was the worst thing to be. My whole generation struggled with that and I really feel for the people who had to come out to friends and family when I was young, it must have been really tough. I came out as bi about 6 or 7 years ago and that was pretty brutal, and the only reason I came out was because something happened that made it clear I was. Tbh it was f'king humiliating and awful at the time, it really f'ked with my head and my self worth. I am totally, 100% ok with it now, in fact I'm kind of proud I have the balls to tell people I'm bi now. It's become who I am and I'm ok with it.
"Just to be clear I've never had an issue with anybody being gay, at all. It's just for me it was a really difficult thing to deal with. Extremely personal. A lifetime of unconsciously being told gay was 'bad' has an effect on me, I wish it didn't but the truth is it did. I have mad respect for all openly gay and trans people."
– NitroD*ckclapp
Revealing Color Choice
"Had a guy genuinely ask if I was gay because I was wearing a red pair of Vans."
– LemonMan589
"Maybe he was cruising."
– InverseRatio
List Of Indicators
"I was a child in the 80s. Calling people gay was standard derogatory talk for checks notes literally everything. Bad play in sport, choice of clothes, hobby, etc."
– f_ranz1224
The Hopscotcher
"I was called gay for about 6 months in middle school for jumping down a hopscotch thing as I walked past it after lunch."
– Sado_Hedonist
What happens in the bedroom...
Going Down
"Like giving oral sex to my wife. Will never understand that."
– Beenthere-doneit55
"Fellas, is it gay to go down on a woman?"
– raveturned
"I view it selfishly. It combines the two two things I love the most, eating and having sex. If that makes me gay, so be it."
– Beenthere–doneit55
Flawed Logic
"They think if you'll do down on your wife you'll go down on a guy?"
"How would the two even translate??"
– WillieOverall
Even before I came out to my friends as gay, being called anti-gay slurs–even in jest–only suppressed my inclination to want to share my truth.
One of the things I've been mocked for during high school pre-coming out was my love for Disney.
The girls had no problem sharing my passion, but the jocks made fun of me for wearing a Mickey Mouse T-shirt to school, saying I was a "sissy boy" for liking Disney and that only "f*ggots" liked Disney.
Now, I know plenty of demographics–gay and straight, all ethnicities–that universally appreciate Disney. But I have to say, good on them for being accurate in knowing who I was before I did: a proud f*ggot who loves Disney.
Straight Men Confess How They'd React If A Gay Man Hit On Them
"Reddit user FregeanCoder asked: 'Straight men, how would you react if a man hit on you?'"
It can take a lot of courage to put yourself out there and let someone know you're interested.
As long as they're not creepy, aggressive, or crazy, it should be flattering, right?
If you're straight and a person of the same gender as you flirts with you, this should be easy to deal with.
In most cases, it took a lot more courage for them to ask than for you to hear.
The following question has been asked to many a straight guy over the years.
Let's see how the times and reactions have progressed.
Redditor FregeanCoder wanted the heteronormative gents out there to share with us, so they asked:
"Straight men, how would you react if a man hit on you?"
I've flirted with many a straight guy, and 99% of the time, it's all gone over well even if they turned me down.
Be Polite
buster keaton GIFGiphy"I've told them thank you but not interested."
twinturboboosted
"Pretty much this for me as well, no need to get scared, but at the same time I did have one super creep, not a comfortable experience."
Empty_Jellyfish_1995
Happy Endings
"My response was, 'I’m flattered, but it’s not my thing.' Guy insisted on buying me that drink anyway as an apology. Thirty years later, we’re still friends. I was best man at his wedding, and now they’re both like brothers to me."
ElectricTurtlez
"Wow, an 'apology' - for flattering you!? Maybe he felt that he made you uncomfortable. Sounds like a generous and humble person."
BoringBob84
"I wish men could do that when women reject them. For some reason, if a woman rejects a straight man he thinks 'being friends' is like a punishment."
Joygernaut
Aww Shucks
"My wife and I were at a gay bar with some friends and one time while alone a young man offered to buy me a drink… it was the most flattering feeling, which I of course told him as I politely declined. He must have been having a rough patch since he was very attractive and had no business hitting on a guy like me. Or maybe it was late and he was drunk."
corona-lime-us
"You could have been his type. Never know."
twinturboboosted
"Haha. Perhaps. I’ll cling to the possibility. I’m just grateful my wife agreed to marry me before I discovered IPA’s and how to smoke meat!!!"
corona-lime-us
Keeping it
"I had a man I thought was hitting on my girlfriend and telling us both multiple times he was into threesomes tell me in a forceful way at the end of the night was gay. I said ah, that's cool man good for you! He walked away looking kind of sad and defeated. It wasn't until the next day that we realized he was hitting on me and we all had a chuckle at my obliviousness."
Gettinrekt1
No Harm
"Well normally at first I’m polite and say no thanks in some way or straight out. If it ends there it’s amusing no harm done. But just like with women if they are overly aggressive after then it’s a lot different. Ashamed of how common that type of stuff is. It has nothing to do with people's sex life. People are capable of all kinds of things. We know this but seem to act like it doesn’t happen."
_Dirty_Deedz_
OHHHHHH!!!!
Seth Meyers Pain GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"Probably the same way as when a woman hits on me - be oblivious to it until weeks later when it suddenly dawns on me."
Eccentric_Fixation
I always hate that A-HA moment.
Like, where was my mind at in the moment.
SEE MEEE!!!
Jim Carrey Flirting GIFGiphy"I'm gay, my oldest friend is straight. Took him to a gay bar once. He got very offended that no one tried to hit on him."
J8766557
Why not?
"I'm a straight, bearded, short but pretty muscular guy living in (very liberal) Berlin. Apparently, that's attractive for a lot of gay men so I'm getting hit on by men pretty regularly, a lot more than by women. I usually just tell them I'm not gay and then it depends on their reaction."
"Keep talking, do more drinking, keep dancing... Why not? I've been on the opposite side after a rejection by a woman and it's nice to just keep having a good time instead of an awkward exit that you'll cringe about 10 years later randomly."
Magnetobama
Back when we danced
"Not sure how it works nowadays with apps like Grindr but in the late 90s/2000s, we had a gay club in our city (no longer exists and there’s not another one unless you drive 30 min to a town over). Anyway, I was the straight friend in a group of gay guys because I loved EDM and I think by association, other gay men thought I was gay."
Always flattered, politely said no and they would turn to the next guy waiting in line for a drink and hit on them. Rinse and repeat. I think what I learned is that men regardless of sexual preference are all horny and will try again and again until they find someone down to clown."
irn
Thanks, Corey
"I was at a house party and he started hitting on me. I kind of panicked and said I was dating one of the girls at the party. Went over to her after and asked her to play along because he was hitting on me and I didn’t want to start a fuss. Ended up hooking up with her later that night and 16 years later were married with 2 kids. At our wedding speech, I thanked him even though he wasn’t there. Corey wherever you are, thanks bud."
reload88
Beautiful Hair
"Happened to me by a coworker. I very politely explained I wasn’t gay but it never changed my opinion of him. He eventually thanked me for dealing with it the way I did and I explained it wasn’t necessary to say thanks. I asked him why me though. He replied, 'You’ve got one hell of a head of beautiful hair!' And he was right."
Particular-Paper-558
Be Fair
Criminal Minds Fist Bump GIF by IONGiphy"I flirt a little but make sure he knows I'm straight and there is no opportunity for us to be anything but friends. Gay dudes are some of the best friends a straight guy can have and I don't give a f**k what anyone thinks about that. Just don't lead them on, it's not fair to them."
somedoofyouwontlike
Well it does sound like we've come a long way.
It's nice to know.
Let's flirt.
The word gay, which was often used to describe moments that were joyous or lighthearted and carefree, has evolved considerably.
In modern usage, the word "gay" colloquially refers to homosexual men, but it can also be used in a demeaning way typically drawn from LGBTQ stereotypes of men behaving or appearing in a flamboyant manner.
Curious to hear how strangers online experienced how the word was used, Redditor Infrared-masochism asked:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve been told not to do because it’s 'Gay?'"
Interests in certain hobbies are apparently a dead giveaway of queerness.
Oh, Snap!
"I took up photography a few years back and my friends asked me to photograph their wedding. I did it and even made them a slideshow with nice music because I wanted to try it out. I showed it to them and my buddy said it was gay. He called his own wedding photos gay."
– livinalieontimna
Repeat Offender
"A few things I've been called gay for doing:
- Reading
- Using an umbrella
- Wearing a sweater
- Not knowing how to play any songs by Stevie Ray Vaughn on the guitar at age 15
- Yawning
- 'Wearing a shirt with another man's name on it' (it was a hockey jersey with a player's name on it and I was 12)
Just to name a few off the top of my head!"
– PoisonLenny37
Way With Words
"The funny (not funny) thing too was it was when I was in grade 4 and it was the student teacher who said it. We did an annual trip to a water park in June every year before the end of the school year. I had a broken arm that year so on the way out to the bus I ran back to the room and grabbed a book and as I was walking out he was like 'a book? You're gonna spend the day READING?' and I was like 'well, broken arm, ya know?' And he was like 'pretty gay, dude, pretty gay!'"
– PoisonLenny37
With A Dreamy Far Off Look...
"I didn't know my Dad was your teacher, holy sh*t. Well at least you got it lucky, as someone who still carries around a book with him to this very day, Dad used to call me a gay for reading just about everywhere all the time. 'you're so busy with your face in a book all the time. I'm so disappointed in you, Son. I brought extra condoms down with me because I thought you'd be a chip off the old block taking virginity." - My Dad on the common area at the hotel we were staying at on vacation when I was 13 years old."
– byehavefun
Kitchen Kween
"Cooking. Umm, I have to feed myself and I’d prefer fresh, nutritious meals that don’t require unhealthy takeaway and cost a fortune."
– bruh_wut69
Observing these normal types of behavior had skeptics convinced of their suspicions.
Squeaky Clean
"My Dad used to tell my brothers not to wash thier hair so much.or they would 'turn gay'."
– ineedatinylama
"Real men can fry a steak with the grease in their hair 👌"
– LionToTheSlaughter99
Cat Gender
"I was taken aside by my deeply concerned and shocked friend and was told 'you know that’s a MALE cat you’re stroking?' I was astonished."
– jim_jiminy
The Stigma Of Kindness
"Being kind to others."
"Excuse me, wasn't aware that I had to burp and fart right in your face to state that I'm a straight guy."
– Lumbertech
"I've heard this one many times. Apparently basic human decency is in such short supply these days that the idea that it could come from a straight person is inconceivable."
– thequietthingsthat
Ear Candy
"Literally just happened about 5 minutes ago. Listening to music at work, Cindy Lauper's 'Time After Time' came on. Co-worker walked by and informed me how gay I looked sitting at my desk listening to that song."
– Bypolur
There is a straight way and a gay way to examine your body parts.
Not-So-Cute Cuticle Check
"Apparently I passed a straight guy test (back in the 90s) when I looked at my nails palm up with my fingers curled in vs palm down with my fingers out straight."
– Humble_Nobody2884
"Had a friend who said he had weird bumps coming up on his skin so i suggested he go to the dermatologist. He said only women do that. Alright man, good luck…"
– mrboondoggle
In elementary school, a couple of my classmates asked me to check my shoe because I stepped on gum.
I bent my right leg behind me and looked over my shoulder to inspect the sole of my shoe, which turned out to be devoid of any of the suspected gooey substance.
The two yahoos howled hysterically and said the way I checked my shoe was soooo gay, and that therefore, I must be."
Apparently, straight dudes would inspect the bottom of the shoe by lifting their feet up in front of them and inverting their ankles upward.
Gee... how did they know?
Men Explain How They'd Honestly React If Their Friend Came Out To Them
Coming out of the closet is an inconvenient rite of passage for anyone who has been suppressing their authentic selves for the comfort of their heterosexual acquaintances.
While there have been some advances made regarding LGBTQ+ visibility with role models who are out, it's still impossible to predict friends' reactions.
This is exactly why some tend to reconsider declaring their sexual identity.
Curious to hear from straight males online about what their reactions might be, Redditor Glittering-Ask-7298 asked:
"Men of reddit, what would you do if you found out your homie is gay?"
Some guys really appreciated hearing the news.
No Fanfare
"Nothing...I had this happen actually. I said congrats at first but then said 'that was a stupid response it's not like you're getting married.' We both laughed about my response and I told him I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me and that nothing changes between us if he thought it would."
– HUGE_duck_boots
It Started With A Homophobic Sister
"Had this happen to me as well. He’s been (and is still) one of my best friends since childhood. I had no idea, other than I had noticed he really never dated anyone to my knowledge. One day, I called his sister out for some homophobic stuff she posted on Facebook (I think it was about Lil Nas X), because I distinctly remembered her having several girlfriends in high school."
"My buddy texted me to send a virtual high-five and came out to me. I told him that it had honestly never occurred to me but made a lot of sense. He then went on to explain he had been in some relationships but kept them private for obvious reasons. I told him it meant a lot being one of the only people from our small town that he’s opened up to."
– CasperTek
Michael, We Know
"A buddy of mine years ago came out to a whole group of us at a dinner once and we were just like, 'uhhh... Yeah, Michael, we know.' And then like 10 minutes later one of the group just goes 'WAIT! Hold on. Michael, dude, did you just come out to us? Were you not out before??' Apparently he was not, or at least he didn't intend to be..."
– CO420Tech
Some straight male friends deserve more credit.
Heat Of The Moment
"My buddy came out to one of my friends. He pulled him a side at like an airport when they were traveling or something. Of course he never pulled someone aside IRL like that, so it seemed pretty nuts. And he and was like, 'I have something important I have to tell you. I'm gay.'"
"My friend was like, 'Jesus f'king christ. That's it? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were gonna tell me you had cancer or something.' Of course in the moment it was nothing but love for my pal, showing he was going to be loved and accepted. And that him being alive and in his life was what mattered most."
– ConvenienceStoreDiet
My Best Friend Isn't Dying
"My best friend did the same to me. I was living overseas and he told me he needed to talk to me about something important but we had a 13 hour time difference. I was so stressed thinking he was dying or something. Came out and I was like 'oh okay! You had me thinking you were dying of cancer!' We still joke about how dramatic it all was. Our group as a whole suspected he was gay but were letting him figure it out and tell us in his own time!"
– WhosThatLady9
Not A Big Deal
"My best friend came out in high school and was so worried about what people would think of him. He cried when I told him I accept him regardless of what his sexual or gender preferences are. I didn't really do anything about it because I'm not a homophobe :P"
– AdministrativeWar594
Here's the thing about true homies.
Added Benefit To The Friendship
"Most of my homies are gay. They help me not look homeless when we go out for dinner 😁."
– avero34
The Misconception
"Honestly that's the big fear of gay guys when coming out to their straight homie, like they'll just walk away from the friendship or be really unsupportive but if he does that he was never a homie to begin with."
– grandwizardElKano
Continue Being The Best Man
"this happened with my best friend actually. He was terrified to tell me, and in retrospect it saddens me because it meant I made him feel like there was a chance I would judge him for it. He's still my best friend today and was the best man at my wedding, so the answer is, continue to be the best friend you can be."
– IStanHam
Some levity goes a long way.
Calling Out His Relationship Status
"Stop making jokes about him not having a girlfriend and start making jokes about him not having a boyfriend."
– seafoamteal
Wicked Humor
"I had this happen to me, as well. I was like 'OH MY GOD, YOU EVIL GAY MAN! YOUR GAYNESS IS CAUSING ALL THE CROP FAILURES BECAUSE IT DISPLEASES THE LORD!' And then, naturally, we sacrificed him so that the rains would come."
– ultranothing
It turns out that LGBTQ+ people generally don't have much to fear when it's time to come out on their own terms to friends.
Their reactions will either reinforce the fact that the friendship has always been authentic or superficial.
If coming out results in revealing the latter example, well, it was time to clean house anyway.
Keep the real homies close. They'll always have your back.
For closeted individuals, coming out is a rite of passage in life that LGBTQ+ people never signed up for.
Why is it that anyone who inherently identifies a certain way has to explain themselves to those who are confused and unwavering in their socialized ignorance?
Times have changed and while there have been advances made for LGBTQ+ people to find more acceptance and feel less like an "other," there are still many challenges to overcome.
Even with gay role models prevalent in pop culture, it can still be difficult for gay youth today to come out to a parent who chooses to live in the past and align themselves to antiquated ideals in society that prevents them from loving their child as they are.
But sometimes, the response after opening up to a parent in a vulnerable moment can prove that unconditional love is the best thing in the entire world.
Curious to hear about positive responses, Redditor Expert_Recover3061 asked:
"What's the best response to 'Dad, I think I'm gay'?"
Even those who aren't fathers can give the best response.
Crisis Averted
"In the 90s, when my girlfriend finally told her traditional Italian mom and grandma at 19, they sighed in unison and grandma said, 'oh thank baby Jesus, I was worried that I was going to have to tell you.'"
– DifficultAccident9
What Gran Said
“'I thought you were about to give me bad news! Don’t scare me like that!' - My granny when my uncle came out (in the ‘70’s!). She was decades ahead of her time…"
– LongjumpingCake1924
They're still parents.
The Rules Don't Change
"You still have to wear a condom."
– Ginchy1971
Not The Only Outcome
"Pregnancy isn't the only STD."
– rhymes_with_snoop
Bracing For The Worst
"This was my literal response when my brother came out to me. He’d called me and said he had something urgent to tell me and it had to be face to face. I was a bus journey away and started to panic so I made him tell me over the phone."
“'I’m gay.' 'I know that! I thought someone had DIED.'"
– Suspicious-Brain-521
Protective Dad
"When I came out to my dad when I was 16 I thought he would disown me. He said: 'Son, If anyone ever hurts you for that, I’ll f'king kill them'. In that moment I realized that I had the best dad in the world."
– Winterpegs
These reactions raised eyebrows.
Cryptic
“'So that’s why you don’t like mushrooms'. At least that’s what my friends dad said to him when he came out. We still don’t know what he meant by that."
– narnababy
"One of my friends from high school was gay, and when he came out to his family his Dad literally didn’t look up from his newspaper & told him his sister didn’t need to tell him she was straight so why would he need to explain that he was gay? He’s known him his whole life and already knew that."
"It was cute because he was so worried."
– 0Diamond0
These Redditors realized they had nothing to fear.
Cheers To That
"Well... My dad said 'I know... And I don't care. As long as you are happy, I'm also happy for you.' And then asked me if I wanted a beer or scotch to celebrate that I finally had the confidence to tell him."
– OneMorePotion
The Best Parents
"Our son came out to us a month ago. We already suspected, so it wasn't a shock."
"When he told me I thanked him for telling me, told him that I loved him, then explained that who he wants to tell next and how he wants to tell them is 100% his choice and we will support him however he wants and needs. He gave us a list of people to tell, and by the end of the week he wanted everyone to know."
"Love and acknowledgement and support."
– Feetyoumeet
Most parents these days aren't given enough credit for being understanding–and also having good instincts about their closeted children–as the fear of being disowned weighs heavily on the mind of individuals who are apprehensive about coming out.
A friend of mine told me her 19-year-old son came out to her and her husband. They already suspected and were waiting on him to come out on his terms when he was ready.
Her husband had the best response.
He said:
"Son, I just hope I get to have the first dance with you at the wedding."