Laser tag can be a load of fun. It's one of the safer activities one can partake of in the dark. But, like any job that depends on the occupancy of the public, employment duties can be strenuous and down right grotesque. Those who work in the world of laser tag are often left will the human "clean up" craziness. Next time we're tagging... act accordingly people!
Redditor u/Dcashmoney33 wanted laser tag employees to share a few tidbits about their days by asking.... Laser Tag employees of Reddit, What was the weirdest things you've seen happen in the Arena?
Happy Poop Day!
Giphy
During a birthday party, for a teenager, a 16 year old girl took a poop on the carpet. She was also the birthday girl. bbjteacher
Why would a 16 year old do such a stupid thing, like these rounds are like 5 minutes long. _Clex_
Oh the drunks.
Don't know if it's weird, but someone got drunk, climbed onto one of the set pieces, and rode it like a horse, grabbing onto the fire sprinkler head above for support, and then proceeded to rip it out of the ceiling causing the whole arena to flood into the cell phone store below... thousands of dollars of damage. We followed that up by implementing a strict zero tolerance policy on alcohol.
Also the guys we hired to paint the arena walls all space themed hid penises all over the place (it was very dark in there so easy to miss them), took a while before we found them all. Liv4damuzik
No Running.
I never saw anything super strange, did see a couple surprising injuries though.
The arena is dark and lit by blacklights, so of course for liability purposes we do the whole rule-reading before each round and one of the rules is obviously 'no running.' Kids would inevitably break the rule and end up running into something, but usually not at a speed that could do any more than some bumps or bruises. One little girl managed to sprint full-tilt into a wall and break her nose, that was quite the event. Real bloody, real traumatizing for the other kids.
Our arena also had some obstacles, like boxes and barrels. Some of them were loose and could be adjusted between rounds (but were still quite heavy to avoid accidental movement), other stuff was nailed down so it couldn't go anywhere. This one time a group of boys around 11-13 ripped some barrels out of the ground so that they could build their own custom fort, but didn't notice the nails protruding from the barrels.
Another kid ran by, ran their hand along the barrel as they ran, and sliced their forearm waaaaaay open on one of the nails. Thankfully I didn't actually see the aftermath but that was also quite the gossip, especially because the victim's parents tried to blame us at first. That threatened lawsuit fell apart pretty quickly when the actual story came out. GlitterLamp
As a Shield.
Back when I was early 20s, me and a few guys went laser tag. Since there was only a couple of us, we got paired with a group of kids, and some of their parents.
During the match, one of the fathers had looped his arm through his daughters vest, and was using her as a shield, and she was just getting carried around like a little shooting shield. Still makes me laugh. andehpants
Not poop or sex.
Giphy
When i was young my family went to play laser tag (this was in new orleans). Mostly kids were playing that day, but there was also an older guy (maybe 25?).
This older guy was competitive. He wanted to win bad. Here i am, probably 13 years old, running around like James Bond from N64 goldeneye, using the structures to cover myself. I round a corner looking for prey and what do i find?
The older guy, coming at me full speed backwards, bent over, with his gun between his legs. Butt first. His strategy was simple yet effective. If he shoots between his legs, no one can shoot his chest or back. He was an unbeatable butt gunner. Worst game ever. Aliencj
Family Fun.
Worked at a small family run laser tag for about 3 years.
I saw so much weird stuff over the years, and with 3 floors in pretty much total darkness (only lighting was UV lights) I knew I was pretty much bound to find weird stuff going on.
The worst thing I happened to find was a group of friends (about 7 or 8 people) came in to play a few games. Fast forward to their second game and as the game is going on, I walk around a corner to a couple, with her hands down his pants and his hand down her pants, fully going at it.
Obviously I had to ask them to leave, although I did want to know what made them even want to do that when there were kids around too.
The most SFW weird thing I saw was probably 3 or 4 dad's had unenthusiastically joined the game and found them in a large open space on the ground floor trying to beat each other doing handstands. I later found out they were dad's of kid gymnasts. Smartie967
All the Fun.
Sex. Condoms. Tampons (used and unused). Poop. All of these things can be found in laser tag arenas.
The weirdest thing I've seen happen was when I was working in the arena and a kid stuff in the middle of the game. Some poor soul game running through and slipped in it. That was fun.
Second weirdest was finding crappy underwear in the bathroom. It looked like the scene from Dumb and Dumberer.
Third weirdest was the car fire in the parking lot where I had to pull a kid from a car seat.
Those places are black holes of normalcy. Everything is weird there. Jobeofthejungle
Birthdays.
One day, a birthday party comes in. Everything went normal until the match ended and everyone had to come back. They all made it back and had cake, except for two little guys who thought it would be hilarious to camp in one of the corners. Everyone noticed they were gone and panicked. Two other employees went looking for them in the arena, and found them. What was strangest is they decided to make a poop and pee hole if they were gonna be camping there. That was no fun to clean. munching_cactus_74
FORTNITE!
Former arcade employee, worked there for a year. We had:
- Birthday kid vomited, didn't tell employees. Had the next group come in and the girl slipped and fell face first into it.
- Kids who screamed "FORTNITE!!!!" then proceeded to fall down when they got shot, crawling around and begging to be revived. I told one he could just get up, as the vests power back on. He just looked at me and said he was playing Fortnite.
- A kid came out, calm as crap, nose obviously broken and blood pouring everywhere. Said a kid had hit him with the gun. Filed an incident report, never heard from the kid again.
- A hispanic family came in, a lady fainted and the family started screaming at me to get them some alcohol so she would wake up.
- I did a lot of wingwoman work there, often times girls or guys would ask me to put them on the same team as someone they liked, and it was cute seeing the results. CarnivalRat
Under the Vest.
Giphy
I wasn't an employee, but I was playing laser tag against a group of random kids, and while in the match I saw a kid who took off his laser vest and all his clothes down to his undies, and was running around shooting at people with his laser gun, with the vest dragging by the cord behind him on the floor. Wasn't sure how to react, but he got me with his gun as I wasn't prepared for that. SuperSpirals
- People Describe The Trashiest Thing They've Ever Witnessed - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Stupidest Thing They've Ever Done Just To Prove They Could - George Takei ›
- People Break Down Things They Did As A Kid That They Now Realize Are Extremely Weird - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Seen Their Pet Do - George Takei ›
- People Describe Their Absolute Funniest 'So That's Why That Rule Exists' Experiences - George Takei ›
- People Divulge The Weirdest Things They Found In A Public Toilet - George Takei ›
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
