Laser tag can be a load of fun. It's one of the safer activities one can partake of in the dark. But, like any job that depends on the occupancy of the public, employment duties can be strenuous and down right grotesque. Those who work in the world of laser tag are often left will the human "clean up" craziness. Next time we're tagging... act accordingly people!
Redditor u/Dcashmoney33 wanted laser tag employees to share a few tidbits about their days by asking.... Laser Tag employees of Reddit, What was the weirdest things you've seen happen in the Arena?
Happy Poop Day!
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During a birthday party, for a teenager, a 16 year old girl took a poop on the carpet. She was also the birthday girl. bbjteacher
Why would a 16 year old do such a stupid thing, like these rounds are like 5 minutes long. _Clex_
Oh the drunks.
Don't know if it's weird, but someone got drunk, climbed onto one of the set pieces, and rode it like a horse, grabbing onto the fire sprinkler head above for support, and then proceeded to rip it out of the ceiling causing the whole arena to flood into the cell phone store below... thousands of dollars of damage. We followed that up by implementing a strict zero tolerance policy on alcohol.
Also the guys we hired to paint the arena walls all space themed hid penises all over the place (it was very dark in there so easy to miss them), took a while before we found them all. Liv4damuzik
No Running.
I never saw anything super strange, did see a couple surprising injuries though.
The arena is dark and lit by blacklights, so of course for liability purposes we do the whole rule-reading before each round and one of the rules is obviously 'no running.' Kids would inevitably break the rule and end up running into something, but usually not at a speed that could do any more than some bumps or bruises. One little girl managed to sprint full-tilt into a wall and break her nose, that was quite the event. Real bloody, real traumatizing for the other kids.
Our arena also had some obstacles, like boxes and barrels. Some of them were loose and could be adjusted between rounds (but were still quite heavy to avoid accidental movement), other stuff was nailed down so it couldn't go anywhere. This one time a group of boys around 11-13 ripped some barrels out of the ground so that they could build their own custom fort, but didn't notice the nails protruding from the barrels.
Another kid ran by, ran their hand along the barrel as they ran, and sliced their forearm waaaaaay open on one of the nails. Thankfully I didn't actually see the aftermath but that was also quite the gossip, especially because the victim's parents tried to blame us at first. That threatened lawsuit fell apart pretty quickly when the actual story came out. GlitterLamp
As a Shield.
Back when I was early 20s, me and a few guys went laser tag. Since there was only a couple of us, we got paired with a group of kids, and some of their parents.
During the match, one of the fathers had looped his arm through his daughters vest, and was using her as a shield, and she was just getting carried around like a little shooting shield. Still makes me laugh. andehpants
Not poop or sex.
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When i was young my family went to play laser tag (this was in new orleans). Mostly kids were playing that day, but there was also an older guy (maybe 25?).
This older guy was competitive. He wanted to win bad. Here i am, probably 13 years old, running around like James Bond from N64 goldeneye, using the structures to cover myself. I round a corner looking for prey and what do i find?
The older guy, coming at me full speed backwards, bent over, with his gun between his legs. Butt first. His strategy was simple yet effective. If he shoots between his legs, no one can shoot his chest or back. He was an unbeatable butt gunner. Worst game ever. Aliencj
Family Fun.
Worked at a small family run laser tag for about 3 years.
I saw so much weird stuff over the years, and with 3 floors in pretty much total darkness (only lighting was UV lights) I knew I was pretty much bound to find weird stuff going on.
The worst thing I happened to find was a group of friends (about 7 or 8 people) came in to play a few games. Fast forward to their second game and as the game is going on, I walk around a corner to a couple, with her hands down his pants and his hand down her pants, fully going at it.
Obviously I had to ask them to leave, although I did want to know what made them even want to do that when there were kids around too.
The most SFW weird thing I saw was probably 3 or 4 dad's had unenthusiastically joined the game and found them in a large open space on the ground floor trying to beat each other doing handstands. I later found out they were dad's of kid gymnasts. Smartie967
All the Fun.
Sex. Condoms. Tampons (used and unused). Poop. All of these things can be found in laser tag arenas.
The weirdest thing I've seen happen was when I was working in the arena and a kid stuff in the middle of the game. Some poor soul game running through and slipped in it. That was fun.
Second weirdest was finding crappy underwear in the bathroom. It looked like the scene from Dumb and Dumberer.
Third weirdest was the car fire in the parking lot where I had to pull a kid from a car seat.
Those places are black holes of normalcy. Everything is weird there. Jobeofthejungle
Birthdays.
One day, a birthday party comes in. Everything went normal until the match ended and everyone had to come back. They all made it back and had cake, except for two little guys who thought it would be hilarious to camp in one of the corners. Everyone noticed they were gone and panicked. Two other employees went looking for them in the arena, and found them. What was strangest is they decided to make a poop and pee hole if they were gonna be camping there. That was no fun to clean. munching_cactus_74
FORTNITE!
Former arcade employee, worked there for a year. We had:
- Birthday kid vomited, didn't tell employees. Had the next group come in and the girl slipped and fell face first into it.
- Kids who screamed "FORTNITE!!!!" then proceeded to fall down when they got shot, crawling around and begging to be revived. I told one he could just get up, as the vests power back on. He just looked at me and said he was playing Fortnite.
- A kid came out, calm as crap, nose obviously broken and blood pouring everywhere. Said a kid had hit him with the gun. Filed an incident report, never heard from the kid again.
- A hispanic family came in, a lady fainted and the family started screaming at me to get them some alcohol so she would wake up.
- I did a lot of wingwoman work there, often times girls or guys would ask me to put them on the same team as someone they liked, and it was cute seeing the results. CarnivalRat
Under the Vest.
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I wasn't an employee, but I was playing laser tag against a group of random kids, and while in the match I saw a kid who took off his laser vest and all his clothes down to his undies, and was running around shooting at people with his laser gun, with the vest dragging by the cord behind him on the floor. Wasn't sure how to react, but he got me with his gun as I wasn't prepared for that. SuperSpirals
- People Describe The Trashiest Thing They've Ever Witnessed - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Stupidest Thing They've Ever Done Just To Prove They Could - George Takei ›
- People Break Down Things They Did As A Kid That They Now Realize Are Extremely Weird - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Seen Their Pet Do - George Takei ›
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...
Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
The Sting
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
Walk Away...
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed Off
Piano Performing GIFGiphy"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...
Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
Smoked
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"Well, if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it'll be something to fawn over."
Hey Fam...
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!
jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
- Sregge
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"This joke is great because everyone can laugh at it."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."
Lord Farquaad Ok GIF by PeacockTVGiphyCars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paint
lightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
"Also in Cars, when Mack is driving down the highway and wants to pull over into a truck stop to rest, the sign at the truck stop says 'Top Down Truck Stop, All Convertible Waitresses.'"
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
Oh, Ratatouille.
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"
ratatouille flirting GIF by Disney PixarGiphyCoco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
- TerH2
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"Monster House."
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."
Whispering French GIFGiphyChildren's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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