Why would you even say this to somebody else? Well, someone did. And the reasons behind it? Just as difficult to grasp as the statement itself.
u/secondwife9 told us her story:
My husband [44/M] told me he wished I [37/F] was dead instead of his first wife. I'm devastated.
My husband "Nick" was married to his first wife "Vanessa" for 5 years and they had two amazing kids, "Luke" (15/M) and "Lila" (13/F). Sadly, Vanessa died in an accident 11 years ago when the kids were very young. I started dating Nick 8 years ago and we started off very slowly for obvious reasons. Nick has always been a little more distant than anyone I'd ever been with, but he and the kids lost Vanessa so young that I understood it.
After 3 years of dating, Nick asked me to marry him and I moved in. I've always had a really great relationship with Luke and Lila and they were happy for me to marry their dad. I had wanted an actual wedding, nothing big, but Nick really didn't want one so we got married at the courthouse with just Luke and Lila present. We had a really fast engagement, but it worked for all of us.
I have loved being Luke and Lila's stepmom and officially adopted them after I found out I was pregnant with our son "Casey" (2/M). The kids have been so great with Casey and help out so much. Nick was wonderful during the pregnancy and had always been a really loving dad and husband.
But Nick has been pulling away a lot the last few months. He's been even more distant than usual and working late nights and going away with friends almost every weekend. I've tried talking to him, but he's been impatient with both me and the kids. I found out I was pregnant in June and am now 21 weeks pregnant with a girl. The kids are excited to have a little sister, but Nick just seems so indifferent to everything and everyone. He's been missing soccer games, Lila's birthday, doctors appointments, etc. Casey is too young to notice, but Luke and Lila are so hurt by their dad's absence. These kids are so good and they lost their mom so young and I'm infuriated that Nick is ignoring the kids like this.
Last week, I finally sat Nick down and told him that he needs to stop disappearing and be more present in our lives. We're going to have another child soon and before we know it Luke and Lila will be grown up and going to college. After an hour of arguing, he screamed at me that he wished Vanessa was still alive and that I had switched places with her and died instead. He also threw in some awful comments that I need to stop pretending I'm Luke and Lila's "real" mom and that I'm only half the mom Vanessa was. The final straw was him saying that he never even wanted any kids with me, but did it so I'd "keep busy and leave him alone."
I'm so beyond hurt right now. I know I'm just his second choice, but I've always tried to honor Vanessa and tell Luke and Lila how lucky they were to have her as their mom. I love ALL of our kids more than anything and I'm just so heartbroken. Nick barely pays attention to Casey now and doesn't even acknowledge the pregnancy. He somewhat apologized this weekend and took all three kids to lunch, but he won't even look me in the eye. He seems like he wants to talk, but he doesn't say anything and I'm too upset to even be near him.
I'm not sure where to go from here. Honestly, I can't even be around Nick right now and if there weren't any kids involved, I'd leave and never look back. I'm not sure if he's cheating or the thought of a fourth child is stressing him out, but I'm devastated and not sure how or why I should save this marriage, besides doing it for the kids. Any advice is desperately needed right now.
tl;dr: My husband has been distant and ignoring our kids. When I confronted him, he told me he wished I had died instead of his first wife and that I'm only half the mother she was. I'm currently pregnant and not sure how to fix this or us.
Here were some of the responses.
Oh man. This is so f*cking heart-wrenching, and I honestly just want to give you a hug right now. You've got so much on your plate.
In your shoes, I think I would tell him that he has a choice between therapy and divorce. Get yourself into therapy as fast as you can- you've had your heart shattered by someone you love, you've been parenting alone, you're facing the possibility of a divorce. Even if you do couple's counselling, individual therapy needs to happen.
My only other piece of advice for you is to not leave the house. If it comes down to it, leaving can affect the divorce. Actually, no, I have another piece of advice for you- consult with a divorce attorney now, even if you're not sure you're going to go through with it, to get an idea of what you need to do during this period.
He's has 2 kids with Vanessa and he's going to have 2 kids with you. Do you think he feels resentful because his new life is 'taking over' his old life? I can imagine that it hurts him tremendously to realize his ex wife is a distant memory and I can see how your new baby will serve as a physical reminder of how the years have passed. This could be a huge stretch.. I'm just speculating what my concern would be if I was in your husbands shoes. Its possible he feel very guilty and disloyal because he moved on and built a new life so he's lashing out on the person who helped him build this new life. You.
I do want to say what you've done is amazing in that you helped to rebuild a home without disrespecting their bio mom's memory and I have no doubt you've been an awesome mom to your children. You do not deserve such hurtful words and whatever his reason I don't think I would be able to forget them. I really hope the best for you guys.
Hi Op, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, this is big stuff. I'll try to keep this short, and I'm hoping it doesn't seem harsh. Having Casey and now expecting a new baby is absolutely bringing something up for Nick. I don't think the word hurt suffices, there's guilt and resentment and anger and all of the worst parts of grief.
11 years is a drop in the bucket. A teeny tiny little blip of time in the scheme of things effected by grief. As his life now with young children starts to resemble his life then, it probably feels like her death was only yesterday. He 100% needs to get back in therapy, not to learn coping skills - he needs to use the therapy as the coping skill.
One of the things he's dealing with is knowing that his life, his family could all be torn violently to pieces at any moment without any notice, and there is an urge to get distance himself from any potential pain if something so horrible happened again.
I think another, maybe harder thing that he struggling with is the part of grief that isn't about missing the person who died, but about the sadness from knowing that the person who died will miss out on, or has missed out on, so many wonderful things. Those feelings aren't helped by someone supportively saying "I know you miss her." It can make you want to yell, "Who cares if I miss her! What about what she's missing!" - I am of course projecting from my own experiences a bit. Grief isn't just about feeling sorry for yourself as someone who lost a spouse, or a mom - it's also about feeling so sorry for the person who died. I don't want to excuse what he said, it's worse even that what he said is the symptom of him neglecting his psychological wellbeing. Like, I wanna say to him, hey Nick, you think you're some kinda tough guy? You're gonna just power through and try to distract yourself away from this pain? Away from all of these reminders? You got some kinda pride delusion that you're too good and strong or whatever to get some therapy? You're not....
Anyway, I'm not excusing what he said, but I suspect he's quite literally out of his mind at this point. He needs to be able to talk about his resentment, about his anger that Vanessa was taken, about his immense sorrow that she didn't get to raise those kids, and about his guilt over feeling all those things. How crazy making it must be to - on one hand wish that she had never died, and then on the other be thankful for you and the life you share. He can't say these things to you, he probably shouldn't say these things to you, he needs a therapist to say these things to. He's been keeping all of it bottled up and the pressure has grown and now he has exploded all of that nasty griefy bitterness all over you.
One thing that sticks out to me is that your child is 2 and that 11 years ago your stepdaughter would have been 2. I wouldn't be shocked if a milestones like that has kicked up a lot of feeling about her death. Since this behavior has started up, have there been any other milestones (kids birthdays, deceased wife's birthday, their anniversary of dating or marriage, when they found out they were expecting, etc) that could have exacerbated any issues he was having?
Your husband sounds depressed. He is disconnecting from everyone, his perception is skewed, his emotions are volatile, he isn't logical, he is irritable.
Sounds like his mental health has gone way downhill. I would have him talk to a doctor.
My husband lost his first wife. He used to get kinda upset around anniversaries or important dates. But after while, that stopped. He got help, he moved on.
He never, ever said anything so horribly hurtful to me. As a spouse to a widow/widower, I think we always have insecurities about measuring up to the deceased spouse. To have that thrown so awfully in your face? No. Unforgiveable. Especially since he refuses to apologize or offer to seek help.
OP, I know you are in a very bad place right now. You're pregnant, and trying to keep it together. You can do this.
The way I see it, Sir Buttface has 2 options. Which you can present as you see fit, if at all.
- Grovel, apologize and seek immediate therapy.
- File divorce papers.
Obviously, this what I would do and you need to decide how you handle it. But for me, that level of cruelty cannot go on. How this ugliness ends is up to him.
It certainly seems possible he's having an affair. I would bring it up.
It seems more possible he's having some hefty issues that he is dumping on the rest of you. That isn't fair.
OP he said he wished you were dead. That's scary as f*ck especially if he's emotionally unstable right now. I don't know how any amount of grief or depression could excuse that or how you could ever work past what he's said. You've also said you know you were never his first choice, your husband of eleven years shouldn't make you feel like that. Don't forget need hiring the kids too. If you're worried about losing the kids, I also just wanted to add (because a lot of people have wrong ideas about adoption) you will get custody of you fight for it, because they're legally yours. Good luck, you're a great mother and person.
He's had it hard losing his first wife, yes. And perhaps it's stressful and painful for him and that is, of course, understandable.
However, I cannot imagine a situation where it is EVER acceptable to tell your loving spouse that you wish she was dead instead of your late wife. This is beyond childish, this is not okay no matter what he himself is feeling.
Beyond this he only KIND OF apologized?
If you let him get away with this kind of behavior now without repercussion or action then you're only going to become his emotional punching bag.
I'm not saying you need to leave him right now, but I think you should seriously consider the possibility that this relationship is not good for you.
Yes, he clearly needs help of some sort, but you are not obligated to just sit back and let him treat you like garbage in the meanwhile.
My mom died and my dad remarried. If he ever said this to my stepmom I myself would disown him, forever, until he offered the apology of a lifetime that showed full self awareness and shame. Grief may be the explanation for his actions, but it is not an excuse, whatsoever.
I want you to internalize this: everything that's happening is a reflection on who he is, it says nothing about who you are. At all. His memories are outweighing reality, and his lack of self awareness about this has caused him to lose a complete grip on everything, to the point of cruelty.
If I were in your position the next thing I would look forward to is the day you and him behave civilly for the sake of your children, with all other vestiges of your relationship kept in the past where they belong. (But I'm just an outsider with limited info who doesn't actually have to live your life so what do I know.)
I'm sorry he did this though. Sincerely.
My first thoughts were guilt and fear. OP, you're having kids at the same age gap as the first wife and it feels like history is repeating itself. Nick is so fucking terrified that he'll have to go through that loss again, but at the same time, building a new life feels disrespectful to Vanessa. So, he lashes out at you so he's not losing you, he's choosing something else, and absolving his guilt about moving on at the same time.
All obviously a god awful sh*tty f*ckface thing to do to his wife. Absolutely not an excuse, and OP, I can't tell you what course would make you happier long term. What I can tell you is that if I die and leave my young children without a mother, there is nothing I'd ever want more than for my babies to be loved as you have taken in Luke and Lila. I 1000% promise you that if Vanessa were able to, she'd be raging at and disgusted with Nick even more than you are.
You could suggest couples therapy to find out if he has "checked out emotionally" or something else. Sometimes when a partner "checks out" emotionally they start avoiding their partner and eventually becoming resentful for no good reason. Even when a partner does that its another thing to wish someone is dead! With his previous history it could be more complicated.
Honestly, it sounds like some pretty serious depression. He could be cheating on you, but I think most likely he's hitting midlife crisis age and thinking back on a lot of stuff that maybe he never properly dealt with.
I'd say that line about talking to a therapist or a lawyer, his choice. If you even want to forgive him that is- I don't know if I would after someone said something that hurtful to me, personally. Either way though OP it sounds like you're a great wife/mother. Trust your gut and do whats right for you and the kids.
He has to be out of his mind to have said something so horrible to you of all people. I'm guessing it's stress-induced based on what you've written- no history of alcohol or other substance abuse? How is the financial situation? Job security? Notice I'm not jumping straight on the affair-train.
Y'all both need therapy stat. You need support and he needs third-party professional help.
Then couples sessions with another counselor or each of yours. You've got a lot of little ones dependent on you both and you deserve to be happy and feel loved. xoxo
First I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Is it possible that having your children possibly bright back unresolved issues he had from losing his first wife as it seems your youngest is about the same age your older children were when it happened? I may be reaching but it seems like he's never dealt with things properly and now having another son and daughter with you might be reminding him of the past.
What crossed my mind is he might be scared of losing you like he lost his first wife after they had children. Perhaps your pregnancy is bringing that to the front of his mind and he isn't good at communicating his feelings leading to his blow up. It could also be depression, maybe suggest couples counseling, if you don't think he would seek help alone. Another thought that crossed my mind, could your husband be using drugs? Some of the things you said made me think of someone hiding substance abuse. I'm sorry he said something so cruel to you, it's definitely uncalled for and if it gets worse or continues into abuse ( even verbal abuse however this was said in the heat of the moment and is out of character for your husband) please don't hesitate to remove the children from the home (you did adopt them) and leave until he gets sorted out.
People can say awful, hurtful things in the heat of the moment. And Nick said the most awful thing he could. It sounds like you two have had a good marriage until recently. Something is happening in Nick's life that is having a drastic impact, and he isn't sharing that with you. It's causing him to withdraw from you, your marriage and the kids. You and the kids are suffering because of whatever is happening in Nick's life.
Is that a fair synopsis? If it is, then it is so important that you find out what is going on with Nick. If you can get him to communicate with you about that, then at least you'd know what you are up against. It could be anything, right? Work pressures, midlife crisis, an affair, drug addiction, etc. Whatever it is, you need to know. Maybe you and Nick can accomplish this first step on your own, but I'd recommend marriage counseling. By yourself if he refuses, but preferably together. A really good counselor can help you both work through the mess, find a foundation to rebuild on, and repair the marriage. Also can help you with the decision to end the marriage if it comes to that.
Just from personal experience, the not being able to look you in the eye.... I do that when I am horribly ashamed of something I've said or done. I think it's possible that Nick is regretting those words and is sorry and ashamed of himself. He just hasn't been able to gather enough courage to actually express that yet.
Good luck to you and your family.
According to one misguided interpretation of The Clown Prince of Crime: "We live in a society."
What's something that people glamourize but it's actually just extremely toxic?
Just when you think you're doing something with a positive impact on someone's life, turns out you've gone and made the wrong decision.
Be Selective With Whom You Tell This To
"Be yourself", "You're perfect just the way you are", and "Never let anyone change you" are double edged swords that enable horrible people to justify continuing to be horrible or continue destructive behaviors that harm themselves or the people around them."
"Sometimes people need to change."
"It's also a cheap way out of growing yourself."
"I like 'be the person you want to be' much more than 'be yourself'. It recognizes that yeah, we each have our own shortcomings, and we shouldn't just accept every single bad trait, but at the same time, we can also accept ourselves knowing that were taking steps towards improvement."
"Especially when it comes to dating, you often get the advice that 'hey, just be yourself and talk to her/him'. That isn't really helpful if someone's 'self' is an awkward, nervous wreck. I think that telling someone to just accept who they are and their feelings in the moment is far better advice, because it recognizes the problem, and the fact that it's natural to be a bit on edge in that situation."
"Creates the sort of people sharing memes like "if you can't handle me at my doodliest, you don't deserve me at my diddliest"
Treat Them Like Who They Are: People
"Treating disabled people as if they were there just to inspire non-disabled people. Just let them be, it's not their job to inspire you"
"As a disabled person, I've lost count of the amount of times I've been called "inspirational" purely for still existing. Like, I'm just alive, I've done nothing spectacular."
Developing a misguided work ethic can come without much self-input. If you're working on a team, surrounded by people chasing that "hustle," then odds are you're going to be staying late, working overtime, and ignoring the people you have waiting for you at home.
Completely Devoted To A "Company"
"Working long hours"
"I worked for a manager once who, while bragging about his dedication to the company, proudly declared that he hadn't spent Thanksgiving with his family in 11 years. Sorry, dude. That's not something to be proud of."
"Adding to that, misplaced loyalty to a company."
"I had a part time job at Tesco's once as a student (supermarket chain in the UK). This particular branch was a Tesco Express, which is very small like a corner shop or bodega."
"The manager was a horrible woman in her 50s called Andrea who would try and boast how she had been working at Tesco since she was 16, she seriously saw herself as a huge success because she'd gone from a shelf stacker to manager over a period of 30 years."
"I would have felt a little sorry for her if she wasn't such a total B*TCH all the bloody time."
Killing Yourself For The "Hustle"
"Working overtime on a daily basis."
"I see this a lot with new hires, who think that working themselves to death will impress the company and help them advance."
"Too many good people have burned out on lack of sleep, rest, and too many energy drinks, just to try to impress an uncaring boss."
"Sadly, so many of them don't listen."
Get Those Late Hours, Bro
"Being sleep deprived"
"Just had a conversation today with a colleague about how the worst thing you can do to yourself is deprive your body a good night rest. He looked at me like a grew a 2nd head when I informed him I prioritize at least 8-9 hours of sleep daily."
This has already proved to be a big issue with the inexperienced-in-love group. When you don't have proper guidance, or gentle experiences, most your knowledge about being a relationship can come from movies.
Which isn't great.
Screams Loud And Clear
"People that describe their relationship as "when it's bad it's bad, but when it's good it's like nothing you've ever known" (or some variation of this). Like nahhh, that screams abusive to me."
"That's called a trauma bond"
Don't Burn The Ones You Love For 'Likes'
"Tiktok trends that challenge or test trust in relationships. It's not funny or cool to mess with someone's feelings and trust just for more views."
"If a girl locked me outside the car and started threatening to go through my phone(a trend right now), I would pretend to be okay with it, let her do the snooping to clear her pretenses, then immediately break up with her. If my affirmation is not enough for you, either our trust or your insecurities are not ready for a relationship."
I Love You Debt MUCH
"Huge weddings you can't afford"
"I honestly hate that too! Bride and groom are left broke, and both the families are showing off photos of the reception"
"I only have one thing I tell people when they get engaged : Don't get a loan."
"Everytime they've laughed in my face but then, six months down the line I can see they're deep in the fog and think three grand on an expense for one day "isn't such a bad deal! It has to be perfect!"
"Don't start your marriage in debt for the wedding."
All Together: "No Means No."
"Pursuing a romantic interest after they've turned you down"
"THIS. I was on a discord server during quarantine where amongst many other great people I got to know this guy who took an interest in me, I didn't take an interest in him though so I turned him down. At that time I didn't know yet that before we started talking he started being really interested in another girl who turned him down as well."
"After I turned him down dude started getting obsessed over her again, tried "wooing" her all the time even though she explicitly told him she doesn't want to have any contact with him several times and blocked him on every form of social media. The cherry on top was when several months later he randomly sent flowers to her house on another continent WITHOUT HER EVEN KNOWING HE HAS HER ADDRESS. She told us and someone gave him so much sh-t for that and he just wouldn't see how wrong and creepy that was."
"That was just a fraction of the sh-t he did btw but let's just say I'm pretty glad I didn't start a relationship with him. Real life is not a movie people. When someone tells you to leave them alone leave them the frick alone."
Be aware of what you're doing. Think through your actions. Be considerate of how what you do impacts others.
You know, kindness.
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There are creepers in our midst. Sometimes, they are the most unassuming types.
Lone straphangers on a semi-crowded subway are a dime-a-dozen, and they seem to mind their own business.
But when you notice out of your peripheral a person staring at you and grabbing their crotch, well, it's time to either get off at the next stop or move to another car.
Yeah, it happens.
"What's the creepiest thing you caught someone doing?"
How well do you know your friends? These Redditors wished they could unlearn some things while others realized it's been too long since they've last seen acquaintances from the past.
When I was 13, I went to a friends house. He put his dog under his bed covers and made the dog lick his nipples repeatedly."
."...needless to say, I didn't go back to his house again."
"When we were about 18 years old my friend Rich was telling me he was being followed by a strange dude with long hair, beard and mustache. He said he would turn around and see the guy following him from a distance. At night Rich would look out his front window and see the guy standing in the middle of the road staring at his house. 2 weeks later we finished up our band practice in our lead guitarist's back yard and Rich left to put his amp in his car. A few moments later Rich came running back terrified saying the bearded guy was out front and that he was coming through the gate to the backyard. I saw the creep come in and he asked 'Rich?' a few times. Rich asked who he was and he said 'Doug.' They had been schoolmates but Doug had moved away for a few years and grew his hair long. Rich asked him why he didn't say anything earlier and Doug said he was nervous about approaching Rich because he wasn't sure it was him. So he just stalked him for 2 weeks and Rich was terrified the entire time."
Lurkers and stalkers are unnerving, but these creeps have gone way too far.
Malicious Bar Patron
"I watched a guy ghost up to the bar while I was drinking with friends, drop something into a girls drink and fade back into the crowd. Super stealthy and if I hadn't been looking down at the bar I wouldn't have caught it."
"Notified the bartender, and the girl. He exchanged the drink, no questions, the bouncer asked me some questions about the guy, and I never found out how it ended up. Scary how fast it happened."
"I was in bed lounging around in my former boyfriends house (who lived with his parents at the time), and I heard a knock. I ignored it because I was too sleepy to care. Then I heard the door open a crack."
"Maybe it was instinct, but I knew I was being stared at. I opened one of my eyes slightly and saw my boyfriend's dad peeking at me through the crack in the door."
"We locked gazes and he scurried off, awkwardly."
"I never returned to that house again, and never told anyone."
"Ok, nobody is going to believe this, but I swear on my life, in roughly 1990, on a greyhound bus, I saw an old lady unwrap and eat a condom. It haunts me to this day…"
Some people are neighborly by nature. But there ought to be limitations.
Neighbor At The Loo
"Once I was taking a sh*t in a public restroom and heard weird noises, so I looked under the stall to check the feet of the dude next to me. I'm not sure why, I just did it to be safe. Turns out the dude next to me was checking at the exact same time I was. It was so f'king awkward as we made eye contact nearly upside down by our underwear. I guess it was weird for both of us."
"My neighbor stands in the backyard and stares through my windows. She also stands outside my apartment door and occasionally follows me into town and into stores."
"She's a well known creep in town but nothing can be done really because that's as far as she ever takes it also, my state doesnt have great stalking laws so the police can't touch her either."
You would think crowded subways would be places for creeps to avoid doing their pervy things. But being caught must be an added thrill for such offenders.
A friend of mine was literally groped by a strap hanger as she and I boarded the packed subway car.
She yelled directly, at him, "Did you just grab my A**???"
The non-reactive not-so-gentleman just stood there as every passenger glared at him for his ride of shame.
Although we doubted he needed to get off at the next stop, it was good to see him haul his own a** off the train.
Creeps, beware. You never know who won't put up with your handsy proclivities.
It seems that it's far more common to hear somebody complain about their job than to hear them give a glowing review of their line of work.
But before you think that everyone out here is miserable, there are some people who do like their work.
These beloved jobs come in all different shapes and sizes. And they're enjoyed for just as many various reasons: the lack of stress, the excitement of the work, the hours, or even the co-workers may all be good reasons to have a decent enough time at work.
Perhaps curious about the decent jobs out there, Redditor KM5550 asked:
"People who actually love their jobs: how and why?"
Many discussed the jobs that allow them to work outside, rather than sitting at a desk in an office all day long.
We All Know That Guy
"I'm the guy who gets to wave glow sticks at the airport and help parallel park airplanes. The only downside is that I have to stay outside at all times"
Furry Friends All Day Long
"Dog walker here. I love being outside all day, little to no contact with humans, and spending everyday with all kinds of fun and adorable dogs, there is virtually no downside."
"They are so happy to see me and even happier to walk. It's seriously criminal that I get paid to do this lol"
Close to Earth
"I own and run a farm. We do a lot of gourmet mushrooms, garlic, specialty fruits, etc. I have always loved to cook. Cooking with fresh local ingredients is awesome."
"Basing your life around producing those ingredients, cooking with them, and sharing with your community is amazing. I would never have a normal 'job' again."
"It really is true that with some persistence and a bit of luck you can find a job that doesn't feel like work."
Others enjoy their work for all the time they get to spend with children. There is never a dull moment with those zany, tiny children.
Blowing (Up) Minds
"I'm a science teacher. I love working with kids, I love that I don't have administrative responsibilities. All I have to do is make lesson plans, and teach those plans, and I can refine them through the day as needed. If a lesson goes great, I can save it for the next year, and there is no shortage of good ideas online."
"It is infinitely more rewarding helping kids understand difficult concepts and seeing those 'aha!' moments, much better than my previous soul-crushing desk job."
"Also, every now and then I get to blow sh** up with a bunch of kids."
Legos Is a Nice Perk
"Pediatric registered nurse. When I'm done my assessments, medication administration, and charting, I spend my downtime building Legos and playing video games with my patients."
"Pretty sweet gig."
Concocting Behind Closed Doors
"I'm an art teacher. I shut my door, interpret the curriculum how I see fit, and have a blast making amazing projects with my kids."
"Since it's art, nobody really gives a crap about what I'm doing, as long as my kids are working. It gives me a lot of freedom to teach what I think is appropriate."
Others highlighted their work in manual labor or service industry positions. Those these often get a bad rap, these jobs are apparently rather enjoyable.
A Pragmatic Skill
"I love working in manufacturing/welding. There's a lot of satisfaction in creating something out of something else. I take pride that my work meets specs and the money is ok."
"It's not necessarily a rare skill set, but not everyone can do it. I've struggled with ADD and depression, so being successful at my trade is very important to me."
Some Peace of Mind
"Worked retail for 10 years. Took a pay cut to go to a different, small grocery store. It's kind of like a David's if anyone knows that chain. Bit bigger, it's in a rich a** development. Old white folk (nice tips sometimes randomly just for pointing out the bananas or something)"
"So I'm the only one in the produce department, aka I run this, zero supervision. It's pretty nice. I can take breaks whenever I want, free lunch from the deli, don't have to deal with customers aside from the occasional "where is X". Pretty sweet gig."
"But I've already gotten a raise to match my previous salary. And the usual promises of more. We'll see about that, but I'm happy for now, they're happy with me. All is well, and I'm not pi**ed off all day anymore."
"Only complaint would be that because the way the trucks are scheduled I don't get two days in a row off anymore. But oh well. I can deal."
"I left my career and the big hustle of the city (LA, and before that Toronto), and moved to a tiny town in the mountains where I took a job as a baker. It's like living in a Hallmark movie; there isn't a stop light around for like 30 miles and everything is all alpine village-y and."
"I make half the money I did at my old desk job but my expenses are half what they were, and I have ZERO stress - our customers are always happy because pie."
Just a Fine Job
"I'm a member of the International Union of Elevator Constructors. I install elevators for a living. The benefits and pay are incredible. The work is very satisfying and I actually enjoy coming into work every day."
"It can get stressful and some days are way harder than others but generally it's a pretty fun job building sh** and using tools all day."
So if you're looking to make a massive career change to feel less stress, perhaps these jobs are worthy of some thought.
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How many times have you stubbed your toe because you weren't paying attention and banged it against some furniture? Hurts like hell, doesn't it? Have you ever slipped outside because you didn't realize the rain––or ice––on the roads would be so slick? You probably have (and hopefully you didn't bang yourself up too much). You probably hope no one was looking... to save yourself from certain embarrassment.
Believe it or not, there are people out there who've fared worse.
People were all too willing to share their experiences after Redditor 7937397 asked the online community,
"What is the stupidest injury you've ever gotten?"
"Then got laid off."
"Leaned forward to look at my face closely in the bathroom mirror. Vertebrae in my lower back slipped out of position. Nine weeks on disability. Then got laid off."
It's true what they say... when it rains, it really pours.
"I once injured my leg..."
"I once injured my leg by jumping off the back of a moving truck, so that I wouldn't be in trouble for riding on the back of a moving truck."
"I once broke my thumb..."
"I once broke my thumb trying to give someone a hug.
Awkwardly caught it on their body and the ligament of my stretched thumb popped off and took some bone with it!"
How did you do that?!
I mean... I know you explained it and all, but... how did you do that?!
"I wasn't watching..."
"I've hurt myself in many weird ways, so this was tough to figure out. A while ago I was riding my bike and saw a rabbit. I wasn't watching where I was going and rode off a retaining wall. I got a concussion from that."
"When it reopened..."
"When I was 5, I was stepped on by a llama. My mom said I had a llama foot-shaped bruise on my back for a couple of weeks.
They closed the petting zoo after that. When it reopened, they no longer allowed people inside the animal pens."
Ah, I see now.
So you're the one who ruined it for everyone else. Gotcha.
(Great story, though.)
"When I was six..."
"When I was six my forehead was really itchy but it was one of those deep itches that you couldn't really scratch out. So my bright 6-year-old brain told me to get into an all-fours position and try rubbing my forehead into the carpet… well I did that and ended up taking a small layer of skin off that took ages to heal completely."
Imagine walking in on your kid and seeing this.
You'd think they were possessed.
"I punched myself..."
"I punched myself in the forehead during an improv comedy bit and gave myself a concussion."
This begs the question...
So are you really strong?
Or just really weak?
"Severed three tendons..."
"Severed three tendons in my left hand while slicing a bagel. Basic tendon repair went over well, but my middle finger got infected. They had to put a tendon from my leg into my hand. Three surgeries over a bagel."
This one wins.
Sorry, everyone. You can all go home now.
"I decided it would be quicker to walk down an incline of tennis-ball-sized rocks in flip flops with my hands full than walk around on the pavement. I was right - I descended quickly!"
"I had lost..."
"I had lost about 30 pounds, and my belt was getting too big. Most people would say "oh, time to buy a new belt!" The craftier of us might say "time to get out my leather punch!" I say "time to dig a hole in the belt with my folding pocket knife!"
It folded in on itself while I was digging a new hole in the leather and cut my thumb to the bone, and had to go to urgent care to get it stitched up.
My wife bought me a leather punching tool for Christmas that year."
We hope you're all thinking twice of playing with knives... or jumping off trucks... or even going outside.
Just stay indoors, preferably in bed. You should be safe. God-willing.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!
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