Husband Tells Wife He Wished She Died Instead Of First Wife, And The Internet Has Feelings

Why would you even say this to somebody else? Well, someone did. And the reasons behind it? Just as difficult to grasp as the statement itself.
u/secondwife9 told us her story:
My husband [44/M] told me he wished I [37/F] was dead instead of his first wife. I'm devastated.
My husband "Nick" was married to his first wife "Vanessa" for 5 years and they had two amazing kids, "Luke" (15/M) and "Lila" (13/F). Sadly, Vanessa died in an accident 11 years ago when the kids were very young. I started dating Nick 8 years ago and we started off very slowly for obvious reasons. Nick has always been a little more distant than anyone I'd ever been with, but he and the kids lost Vanessa so young that I understood it.
After 3 years of dating, Nick asked me to marry him and I moved in. I've always had a really great relationship with Luke and Lila and they were happy for me to marry their dad. I had wanted an actual wedding, nothing big, but Nick really didn't want one so we got married at the courthouse with just Luke and Lila present. We had a really fast engagement, but it worked for all of us.
I have loved being Luke and Lila's stepmom and officially adopted them after I found out I was pregnant with our son "Casey" (2/M). The kids have been so great with Casey and help out so much. Nick was wonderful during the pregnancy and had always been a really loving dad and husband.
But Nick has been pulling away a lot the last few months. He's been even more distant than usual and working late nights and going away with friends almost every weekend. I've tried talking to him, but he's been impatient with both me and the kids. I found out I was pregnant in June and am now 21 weeks pregnant with a girl. The kids are excited to have a little sister, but Nick just seems so indifferent to everything and everyone. He's been missing soccer games, Lila's birthday, doctors appointments, etc. Casey is too young to notice, but Luke and Lila are so hurt by their dad's absence. These kids are so good and they lost their mom so young and I'm infuriated that Nick is ignoring the kids like this.
Last week, I finally sat Nick down and told him that he needs to stop disappearing and be more present in our lives. We're going to have another child soon and before we know it Luke and Lila will be grown up and going to college. After an hour of arguing, he screamed at me that he wished Vanessa was still alive and that I had switched places with her and died instead. He also threw in some awful comments that I need to stop pretending I'm Luke and Lila's "real" mom and that I'm only half the mom Vanessa was. The final straw was him saying that he never even wanted any kids with me, but did it so I'd "keep busy and leave him alone."
I'm so beyond hurt right now. I know I'm just his second choice, but I've always tried to honor Vanessa and tell Luke and Lila how lucky they were to have her as their mom. I love ALL of our kids more than anything and I'm just so heartbroken. Nick barely pays attention to Casey now and doesn't even acknowledge the pregnancy. He somewhat apologized this weekend and took all three kids to lunch, but he won't even look me in the eye. He seems like he wants to talk, but he doesn't say anything and I'm too upset to even be near him.
I'm not sure where to go from here. Honestly, I can't even be around Nick right now and if there weren't any kids involved, I'd leave and never look back. I'm not sure if he's cheating or the thought of a fourth child is stressing him out, but I'm devastated and not sure how or why I should save this marriage, besides doing it for the kids. Any advice is desperately needed right now.
tl;dr: My husband has been distant and ignoring our kids. When I confronted him, he told me he wished I had died instead of his first wife and that I'm only half the mother she was. I'm currently pregnant and not sure how to fix this or us.
Here were some of the responses.
One
Oh man. This is so f*cking heart-wrenching, and I honestly just want to give you a hug right now. You've got so much on your plate.
In your shoes, I think I would tell him that he has a choice between therapy and divorce. Get yourself into therapy as fast as you can- you've had your heart shattered by someone you love, you've been parenting alone, you're facing the possibility of a divorce. Even if you do couple's counselling, individual therapy needs to happen.
My only other piece of advice for you is to not leave the house. If it comes down to it, leaving can affect the divorce. Actually, no, I have another piece of advice for you- consult with a divorce attorney now, even if you're not sure you're going to go through with it, to get an idea of what you need to do during this period.
Two
He's has 2 kids with Vanessa and he's going to have 2 kids with you. Do you think he feels resentful because his new life is 'taking over' his old life? I can imagine that it hurts him tremendously to realize his ex wife is a distant memory and I can see how your new baby will serve as a physical reminder of how the years have passed. This could be a huge stretch.. I'm just speculating what my concern would be if I was in your husbands shoes. Its possible he feel very guilty and disloyal because he moved on and built a new life so he's lashing out on the person who helped him build this new life. You.
I do want to say what you've done is amazing in that you helped to rebuild a home without disrespecting their bio mom's memory and I have no doubt you've been an awesome mom to your children. You do not deserve such hurtful words and whatever his reason I don't think I would be able to forget them. I really hope the best for you guys.
Three
Hi Op, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, this is big stuff. I'll try to keep this short, and I'm hoping it doesn't seem harsh. Having Casey and now expecting a new baby is absolutely bringing something up for Nick. I don't think the word hurt suffices, there's guilt and resentment and anger and all of the worst parts of grief.
11 years is a drop in the bucket. A teeny tiny little blip of time in the scheme of things effected by grief. As his life now with young children starts to resemble his life then, it probably feels like her death was only yesterday. He 100% needs to get back in therapy, not to learn coping skills - he needs to use the therapy as the coping skill.
One of the things he's dealing with is knowing that his life, his family could all be torn violently to pieces at any moment without any notice, and there is an urge to get distance himself from any potential pain if something so horrible happened again.
I think another, maybe harder thing that he struggling with is the part of grief that isn't about missing the person who died, but about the sadness from knowing that the person who died will miss out on, or has missed out on, so many wonderful things. Those feelings aren't helped by someone supportively saying "I know you miss her." It can make you want to yell, "Who cares if I miss her! What about what she's missing!" - I am of course projecting from my own experiences a bit. Grief isn't just about feeling sorry for yourself as someone who lost a spouse, or a mom - it's also about feeling so sorry for the person who died. I don't want to excuse what he said, it's worse even that what he said is the symptom of him neglecting his psychological wellbeing. Like, I wanna say to him, hey Nick, you think you're some kinda tough guy? You're gonna just power through and try to distract yourself away from this pain? Away from all of these reminders? You got some kinda pride delusion that you're too good and strong or whatever to get some therapy? You're not....
Anyway, I'm not excusing what he said, but I suspect he's quite literally out of his mind at this point. He needs to be able to talk about his resentment, about his anger that Vanessa was taken, about his immense sorrow that she didn't get to raise those kids, and about his guilt over feeling all those things. How crazy making it must be to - on one hand wish that she had never died, and then on the other be thankful for you and the life you share. He can't say these things to you, he probably shouldn't say these things to you, he needs a therapist to say these things to. He's been keeping all of it bottled up and the pressure has grown and now he has exploded all of that nasty griefy bitterness all over you.
Four
One thing that sticks out to me is that your child is 2 and that 11 years ago your stepdaughter would have been 2. I wouldn't be shocked if a milestones like that has kicked up a lot of feeling about her death. Since this behavior has started up, have there been any other milestones (kids birthdays, deceased wife's birthday, their anniversary of dating or marriage, when they found out they were expecting, etc) that could have exacerbated any issues he was having?
Five
Your husband sounds depressed. He is disconnecting from everyone, his perception is skewed, his emotions are volatile, he isn't logical, he is irritable.
Sounds like his mental health has gone way downhill. I would have him talk to a doctor.
Six
My husband lost his first wife. He used to get kinda upset around anniversaries or important dates. But after while, that stopped. He got help, he moved on.
He never, ever said anything so horribly hurtful to me. As a spouse to a widow/widower, I think we always have insecurities about measuring up to the deceased spouse. To have that thrown so awfully in your face? No. Unforgiveable. Especially since he refuses to apologize or offer to seek help.
OP, I know you are in a very bad place right now. You're pregnant, and trying to keep it together. You can do this.
The way I see it, Sir Buttface has 2 options. Which you can present as you see fit, if at all.
- Grovel, apologize and seek immediate therapy.
- File divorce papers.
Obviously, this what I would do and you need to decide how you handle it. But for me, that level of cruelty cannot go on. How this ugliness ends is up to him.
It certainly seems possible he's having an affair. I would bring it up.
It seems more possible he's having some hefty issues that he is dumping on the rest of you. That isn't fair.
Seven
OP he said he wished you were dead. That's scary as f*ck especially if he's emotionally unstable right now. I don't know how any amount of grief or depression could excuse that or how you could ever work past what he's said. You've also said you know you were never his first choice, your husband of eleven years shouldn't make you feel like that. Don't forget need hiring the kids too. If you're worried about losing the kids, I also just wanted to add (because a lot of people have wrong ideas about adoption) you will get custody of you fight for it, because they're legally yours. Good luck, you're a great mother and person.
Eight
He's had it hard losing his first wife, yes. And perhaps it's stressful and painful for him and that is, of course, understandable.
However, I cannot imagine a situation where it is EVER acceptable to tell your loving spouse that you wish she was dead instead of your late wife. This is beyond childish, this is not okay no matter what he himself is feeling.
Beyond this he only KIND OF apologized?
If you let him get away with this kind of behavior now without repercussion or action then you're only going to become his emotional punching bag.
I'm not saying you need to leave him right now, but I think you should seriously consider the possibility that this relationship is not good for you.
Yes, he clearly needs help of some sort, but you are not obligated to just sit back and let him treat you like garbage in the meanwhile.
Nine
My mom died and my dad remarried. If he ever said this to my stepmom I myself would disown him, forever, until he offered the apology of a lifetime that showed full self awareness and shame. Grief may be the explanation for his actions, but it is not an excuse, whatsoever.
I want you to internalize this: everything that's happening is a reflection on who he is, it says nothing about who you are. At all. His memories are outweighing reality, and his lack of self awareness about this has caused him to lose a complete grip on everything, to the point of cruelty.
If I were in your position the next thing I would look forward to is the day you and him behave civilly for the sake of your children, with all other vestiges of your relationship kept in the past where they belong. (But I'm just an outsider with limited info who doesn't actually have to live your life so what do I know.)
I'm sorry he did this though. Sincerely.
Ten
My first thoughts were guilt and fear. OP, you're having kids at the same age gap as the first wife and it feels like history is repeating itself. Nick is so fucking terrified that he'll have to go through that loss again, but at the same time, building a new life feels disrespectful to Vanessa. So, he lashes out at you so he's not losing you, he's choosing something else, and absolving his guilt about moving on at the same time.
All obviously a god awful sh*tty f*ckface thing to do to his wife. Absolutely not an excuse, and OP, I can't tell you what course would make you happier long term. What I can tell you is that if I die and leave my young children without a mother, there is nothing I'd ever want more than for my babies to be loved as you have taken in Luke and Lila. I 1000% promise you that if Vanessa were able to, she'd be raging at and disgusted with Nick even more than you are.
Eleven
You could suggest couples therapy to find out if he has "checked out emotionally" or something else. Sometimes when a partner "checks out" emotionally they start avoiding their partner and eventually becoming resentful for no good reason. Even when a partner does that its another thing to wish someone is dead! With his previous history it could be more complicated.
Twelve
Honestly, it sounds like some pretty serious depression. He could be cheating on you, but I think most likely he's hitting midlife crisis age and thinking back on a lot of stuff that maybe he never properly dealt with.
I'd say that line about talking to a therapist or a lawyer, his choice. If you even want to forgive him that is- I don't know if I would after someone said something that hurtful to me, personally. Either way though OP it sounds like you're a great wife/mother. Trust your gut and do whats right for you and the kids.
Thirteen
He has to be out of his mind to have said something so horrible to you of all people. I'm guessing it's stress-induced based on what you've written- no history of alcohol or other substance abuse? How is the financial situation? Job security? Notice I'm not jumping straight on the affair-train.
Y'all both need therapy stat. You need support and he needs third-party professional help.
Then couples sessions with another counselor or each of yours. You've got a lot of little ones dependent on you both and you deserve to be happy and feel loved. xoxo
Fourteen
First I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Is it possible that having your children possibly bright back unresolved issues he had from losing his first wife as it seems your youngest is about the same age your older children were when it happened? I may be reaching but it seems like he's never dealt with things properly and now having another son and daughter with you might be reminding him of the past.
Fifteen
What crossed my mind is he might be scared of losing you like he lost his first wife after they had children. Perhaps your pregnancy is bringing that to the front of his mind and he isn't good at communicating his feelings leading to his blow up. It could also be depression, maybe suggest couples counseling, if you don't think he would seek help alone. Another thought that crossed my mind, could your husband be using drugs? Some of the things you said made me think of someone hiding substance abuse. I'm sorry he said something so cruel to you, it's definitely uncalled for and if it gets worse or continues into abuse ( even verbal abuse however this was said in the heat of the moment and is out of character for your husband) please don't hesitate to remove the children from the home (you did adopt them) and leave until he gets sorted out.
Sixteen
People can say awful, hurtful things in the heat of the moment. And Nick said the most awful thing he could. It sounds like you two have had a good marriage until recently. Something is happening in Nick's life that is having a drastic impact, and he isn't sharing that with you. It's causing him to withdraw from you, your marriage and the kids. You and the kids are suffering because of whatever is happening in Nick's life.
Is that a fair synopsis? If it is, then it is so important that you find out what is going on with Nick. If you can get him to communicate with you about that, then at least you'd know what you are up against. It could be anything, right? Work pressures, midlife crisis, an affair, drug addiction, etc. Whatever it is, you need to know. Maybe you and Nick can accomplish this first step on your own, but I'd recommend marriage counseling. By yourself if he refuses, but preferably together. A really good counselor can help you both work through the mess, find a foundation to rebuild on, and repair the marriage. Also can help you with the decision to end the marriage if it comes to that.
Just from personal experience, the not being able to look you in the eye.... I do that when I am horribly ashamed of something I've said or done. I think it's possible that Nick is regretting those words and is sorry and ashamed of himself. He just hasn't been able to gather enough courage to actually express that yet.
Good luck to you and your family.
Relationships are hard, and sometimes, they're confusing. When you're having a problem with your partner, or you're inexperienced and looking for lessons, you turn to your friends and family for advice.
Sometimes, the advice is sound and helps make things better.
Other times, the advice is trash and makes everything worse.
Redditors know this all too well, and are sharing the worst relationship advice they've ever gotten.
It all started when Redditor Spectrelegit asked:
"What is the worst relationship advice you've ever heard?"
Loyal As A Dog
"Any "loyalty tests". Always a bad idea."
– thedawntreader85
"Heard a youtube therapist once say that as soon as you decide to do a loyalty test, you've already decided the relationship is over because either they fail and you can't trust them, or they pass and you show them that you don't trust them and they stop being able to trust you"
– ParkityParkPark
Choose
"Ultimatums fall under a similar category."
– GarbageTheClown
"If this is a current situation it sounds pretty toxic, and if you are unhappy I hope you get the support you need to make any changes."
– countzeroinc
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend
"Spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring. This was literally started by the rich diamond families to increase sales."
– Samisoy001
"My girl literally threw a jewelry store book at me with the ring she wanted circled and happily said there was a coupon lol. It was like $80 but it's the one she wanted. We've been together for almost 10 years and happily married for nearly 3 now"
– shumi19
"Yeah it's ridiculous, there's lab created gems that are basically the same and a fraction of the cost."
– YouJabroni44
"I’ve said this to friends and family several times when they’ve asked me while stressing about picking out expensive rings:"
"if the ring is the problem, then the ring is not the problem."
– DamonHay
Not The Way To Go
"There was a Reddit post about a guy who told his partner that she stunk several times a day. Poor girl was horrified. It got to the point that she was showering incessantly, using industrial strength deodorants and he still complained non-stop."
"Paraphrasing here, but when finally confronted, it turns out his father had given him this sound advice: “Tell a women she smells bad, and she’ll never leave you.”"
"Daddy was wrong."
– UnderstandingEmpty21
Anything Doesn't Go
"That you only truly care if you're "ride or die.""
"An ex once told me that she thought if she pushed me far enough that I'd leave. I told her "Yes, I would leave. Why would I want to be with someone who thought so little of me that they'd push me far enough?""
"I had put up with a lot of abusive behaviour from her and it didn't last much longer before she tested my statement and I did exactly what I said."
– FancyMFMoses
"Totally!! And that you should love your partner “unconditionally” ie any behaviour goes. Nope"
– Rare-Republic-1011
Maybe Not The Right Person To Ask
"A friend of mine once prefaced some unsolicited advice about my 10-year marriage with the phrase, "I've been in dozens of relationships..." and then he went on to rant about how men shouldn't do the grocery shopping or something stupid like that."
– Odd-Sink-9098
"Right, we had a three times divorced friend who loved to give relationship advice. Most of it was BS."
– JanuarySoCold
"The Children" Need A Good Example
"Stay together for the kids."
"I was the child. Please don’t."
– ArtisticPolarBear23
"I was also the child. Your children know when you don’t love each other, when you’re fighting all the time because you decided to stay with someone you can barely tolerate. They will live with that knowledge and grow up with a warped perception of love and relationships because they were never given a proper example."
"They will either become obsessive and do whatever they can to make someone stay, or they’ll develop a fear of commitment that will ruin every relationship before they even get the chance to try it. Divorce can be messy, especially when kids are involved, but sometimes the alternative can be far worse. If you decide to have kids, do right by them."
– imscaledandicy
Nobody's Perfect
"“There is a perfect person out there”"
"No. No there isn’t. There is no such thing. People change as they experience life. To believe someone will stay the same forever is silly. Pick someone who you can grow with and shares common values with you. Everyone has to make some compromises and that includes someone making them on you too."
– BallTipSizzler
Not A Great Justification
"Being married is like eating spaghetti every night for dinner. No matter what sauce you put on it, it's still spaghetti. Sometimes a man needs to eat some steak once in a while."
"That was from my dad while trying to justify cheating on my mom."
– Feelin_Dead
Look Good For You
"My (very attractive but very unhappy in her own marriage mother) tried to make me believe that the secret of a successful marriage is to look desirable at every hour of the day and night . Make up, clothes, perfume… anything to keep the husband interested. Having a personality is nice but not necessary."
– ComplexPrinciple3636
"I feel guilty of this, although I also feel like I can take the time to get ready all I want, he’s still going to admire someone else and probably in front of you. Just get ready for yourself if it makes you feel better. I have always hated to go out in public to run into anyone bareface, whether it’s an old friend, someone who picked on me in school, an old crush."
"Not sure where it came from me being this way but growing up my parents made fun of me when I’d have no make up on. If I got bad grades or did something that upset them they’d take it away and give it back saying “I need it.” Then other days tell me I wear too much of it, like high school wasn’t enough already. I could never win."
– 1lilhedgehog
"I know several people who believe this and it’s sad"
– Arra13375
Don't Be Who You Are
"When I was a teenager, my mom told me to not let boys see I was smart because no man is attracted to a woman whose smarter than he is. Also, I should work on my laugh because no one would be attracted to my laugh."
– Educational_Use_9980
"Being smart and passionate about your interests is the most attractive thing ever"
– DogShampoop
Tell Me I'm Right
"Most people that come to you for relationship advice don’t want to advice they want you to validate the terrible decision they are about to make."
– IBdunKI
"I think your statement applies to advice in general. A lot of people to want to actually change or put in effort, they just want validation for their choices."
– BusinessBear53
Yeah, that tracks.
We cannot believe some folks are dishing out such advice!
Has anyone every told you something truly crazy to keep a relationship propped up? Let us know in the comments.
People Break Down Which Historical Figures Are Seen As Bad Guys, But Weren't Actually Bad
It's easy to assume things about history since we weren't actually there. We're taught to believe everything we read, but often times, it takes more research to figure out the truth.
There are a lot of historical figures we believe were bad based on what we first read or heard. However, upon further research, we find out they weren't actually that bad.
Some of them got a bad reputation even though all they did was make a mistake. Others just weren't appreciated for their ideas and inventions during their own time. Some of them are even heroes!
It seems Redditors did some of that extra research and are ready to share their findings.
It all started when Redditor jamespeech111 asked:
"Who is a bad guy in history who actually wasn’t a bad guy?"
Before His Time
"William Thomas Green Morton died broke defending his discovery of anesthesia. He was a dentist and didn’t get much respect from the doctors at the time. IMO one of the most important medical discoveries."
– tindalos
"anesthesia is arguably THE most important medical discovery in history. Modern surgery is literally impossible without it."
– pdlbean
The Wrong Story
"Richard Jewel - initially lauded as a hero and a brave man who ran towards the bomb to help…"
"then the FBI and media turned on him and accused him of doing the bombing himself… because;"
"he was actually just as f*cking outlandishly brave and ran toward the bomb to help people,"
"They took his truck for evidence, he had to go into hiding… made a villain by incompetent people… For YEARS… finally exonerated and dies shortly afterward"
– wagwa2001l
Aye Aye Captain
"Captain Bligh. His mistake was being too soft rather than too harsh. He let his crew slack off while they were waiting to make sure the breadfruit trees would survive transplantation, and they mutinied when he put them back to work."
– JJohnston015
"It should also be mentioned that when his some of his crew mutinied so many of them wanted to be allowed to leave with him on the ship's tiny open launch that even fully laden they would not all be able to go and had to draw lots to see who had to stay on The Bounty. Captain Bligh then had to sail the tiny overcrowded poorly provisioned boat 6700km to Timor using dead reckoning. He did not lose a single man."
"Absolute hero."
– cAt_S0fa
Legal Action
"The McDonald’s coffee lady - the woman who sued mcDonalds after she spilled coffee on her lap received 3rd degree burns in her pelvic area. She was hospitalized for 8 days and required a couple years of rehabilitation."
"The media jumped on the story making it a poster case for frivolous lawsuits."
– The-loon
"Omg I vividly remember this story! It was so sad tbh. At first I thought it was stupid too, but then I read she had severe burns and all. She really wasn’t overreacting."
– lizarkanosia
One Comment Changed His Life
"Niccolo Machiavelli. Machiavelli didn't invent the idea of lying or ruthlessness. He made an observation about what worked and tried to get a new gig."
"Now his name is synonymous with "heartless manipulator.""
– Sphinxofblackkwarts
"Agreed. People often reduce his message down to "you should be opportunistic and manipulative", which wasn't what he was saying at all."
"It was more that he recognised that the worst atrocities in society typically occur during or shortly after huge political upheaval, and believed that if preventing that sometimes requires being opportunistic and manipulative, then that is a price worth paying."
"And whilst we all have lines that we think a regime shouldn't cross, and limits to what power a state should be allowed to exercise, he did a have bit of a point. If we think of the worst atrocities across history, they do tend to follow political upheaval. Had the Treaty of Versailles not sought to punish a generation of Germans, Hitler may never have risen to power in the first place."
"Ironically, some of the people who were great admirers of Machiavelli's philosophy, like Joseph Stalin, were responsible for the very kind of terrible things Machiavelli was warning people about."
– Clem_Crozier
Queens On The Throne
"Pharaoh Cleopatra, she was actually a pretty good ruler with her focusing more on her nation than just abusing her position for her own benefit, there’s even some records saying that she wasn’t even all that beautiful, she was however very intelligent with stuff like how she learned around 10 different languages"
– No_Prize9794
"First member of the ptolemaic dynasty to bother learning Egyptian. She did amazing things in managing to actually expand Egypt's territory in a time of Roman dominance.... however in the end she monumentally screwed up/lost her nerve at the Battle of Actium and doomed pharaonic Egypt."
– menatarms
Money Talks...And Lies
"Captain Hazelwood of the Exxon Valdez."
"He is often pictured on the helm of the Exxon swaying drunkenly going full throttle into the reef talking like a "pirate.""
"What actually happened."
"Valdez's critical navigation equipment was out of commission, faxs sent to Exxon and Exxon told them to sail instead."
"Coast guard budget cuts removed vessel tracking in the area."
"Green and tired crew was on duty, request was made to relief crew. It was denied."
"XO who was on Conn at the time was inexperienced on the passage and neither requested pilotage."
"While Hazelwood did drink that day he was not in command of the conn at the time and was in his quarters resting."
"Hazelwood made a comment that "He needed a drink." Because of how upset he was over the situation."
"Exxon's PR paid off the media to blame Hazelwood."
"However Hazelwood was charged with only one charge which was for pollution. He proved he was not a drunkard and retained his captain's license. Even getting offers to sail again which he turned down."
"The real villains are mass media, False News, and comedians but Exxon's PRs spending power to keep the blame off them."
"Hazelwood passed away last year after the annv of the spill."
"Random fact the Valdez sailed until 2008 under different name Oriental Nicety"
– Iuka297
Not A History Book
"In brave heart, William Wallace gets betrayed by Robert the Bruce which never happened, he was loyal to the end"
– Paskyc
"That movie made me so angry. I grew up on it, and loved it for what I assumed was a historically accurate portrayal. Not only is the movie absurdly inaccurate, the real history is arguably more interesting that the movie! There was no need for "artistic restructuring". They could have just dramatized the actual events and it would have been a great movie"
– Youbettereatthatshit
Not Enough
"In the film Titanic the character Murdoch killed someone, took bribes and generally came across as a right sh*t. He was a real life person who was actually a hero and saved many lives. His living relatives were so disgusted that the VP of Fox travelled to Dalbeattie to personally apologise and presented a £5000 donation to Dalbeattie High School to boost the school's William Murdoch Memorial Prize."
– cooshed
"That movie's initial gross was over $1.8B! Donating £5000 is like the average US man giving them a dime and saying my bad"
– randologin
A Bad Accusation
"That woman who was accused of kidnapping children because her kids didn't have her DNA, but in fact her uterus had different DNA than the rest of her body."
– gavlegoat
"Lydia Fairchild. She has chimerism, so her uterus has different DNA from the rest of her body (the DNA of her absorbed twin)"
– Heart2001
"Tom the cat. Jerry is a menace."
– nocturnalfrolic
"There was a post the other day talking about them and how they are actually working together."
"As long as jerry keeps running around, the humans think they have a mouse problem so they keep the cat. As long as Tom keeps showing he’s making an effort they think he’s doing a good job. But they are both in on it and just do it to keep up appearances."
"There’s apparently an episode where they work together to get food from the fridge, then hide and share it as friends before going back out and chasing each other again."
– bunkscudda
I can so buy into that!
Well, this was more interesting than many of our history classes!
Do you have any interesting tidbits to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We witness things on the daily that follow us.
Some linger in our minds and haunt us.
Others shake us to the core.
It's inevitable that each of us may have a strange experience to regale a party of people with.
The more we discuss, the more repressed emotion we release.
Being haunted forever isn't fun.
Especially because another creepy event or moment lies around the next corner.
Redditor H5N1BirdFlu wanted to discuss the moments in life that left us haunted and shook, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest or most unexplained event that you have ever experienced?"
I've seen so much creepiness I wouldn't know where to begin.
Deal
"One car from one direction, and another car from the other direction stopped in front of my house. Both drivers got out and one gave the other a briefcase. Now that I am older I am guessing it was some kind of drug deal or something but at the time I found it very weird."
yapastaocho
'The Entertainer'
"We had a little copper music box that would start playing on its own. It was a man sitting at a player-piano and it would play 'The Entertainer' song. Now, I know that music boxes and such can spring (for lack of a better word) forward and play a few notes, but this thing would act like someone had wound it up and would play for a minute or two completely at random."
MercuryCrest
He?
"Me and and someone I used to know in high school way back when met to catch up. We were talking about our views on religion at some park. When we were walking back to our cars some guy said he had overheard us. We interacted a little and then went to our cars. I told her how awkward I felt knowing he overheard everything. She looked at me and said, 'He?'”
"After some comparing notes we realized we’d seen and heard entirely different people. She’d seen an elderly woman. I’d seen a middle aged man. Only problem is we only talked to the one person."
AccomplishedAuthor53
Overnight
"I usually go hiking and stay in the forest overnight, sleeping in a bivy and sometimes under a tarp. Now it's important to say I'm based in Europe. So no wild animals to be afraid of because usually they just boot it as soon as they notice you."
"So one winter night I'm sleeping under my tarp which connects to the ground on one side. It's in an area where there were fierce battles in the forrest on the border between Germany and Belgium in WWII."
"I hear something walking in the leaves, which is normal. There are always deer and ferral pigs on and about. But this time it comes closer and closer until I hear it right on the other side of my tarp and it starts growling. Its a noise I gad never heard and for a moment I was frozen trying to figure out what it might be and what to do."
"But I just decided to yell back and that did the trick. The animal walked a few steps and then turned back to growl once more before finally retreating."
"Let's put it this way, I didn't sleep for a while after that. I looked up the noise and think it was a badger."
Forest_Walkin
Devoured
"My family used to raise cattle. One morning I came out to check on them and I found one of the heifers had been more or less completely devoured."
"This same cow was perfectly fine the day before. There was nothing left but some hide, bones, and intestines. Thing is none of the predators that are in my area would be able to kill and eat an entire cow within the course of one night. Much less leave so little behind."
Aussieshepman
Poor cows. They live a rough life.
The Night Before
"When I was a kid, we lived in a kinda rural area. One night we came home late from an Uncle's house and there was a car parked up the road from our house with the headlights on."
"My mom suggested to my dad that we go see if they need help, he said no, so we went inside. Next morning police knocked on the door, a cyclist had spotted a body in the ditch exactly where the car was parked the night before."
Tpeest
Documents
"I have had a strange thing happen recently. I was waiting for my tax documents to come in so I could do my taxes. I had three documents that I put on my bedside table until I had the time."
"I decided to do it the other day and I couldn't find one of them. I tore the house apart, quizzed my husband (who swore he never touched it), checked the garbage, etc. I had resigned myself to the fact I would have to request another one, when it arrived in the mail."
"It was the same one, exact same information. I was really confused but grateful. I checked into it, it was not sent twice as far as the office could tell me."
"I don't know what to think. I KNOW I had that document because I had done some calculations with it. It's been itching at me like crazy."
monitormonkey
About 30 Feet
"A few months ago I was sitting in my living room on the couch, watching tv with a family member late at night. We have a high ceiling with a couple of rectangular windows at the very top of the wall just under where it meets the ceiling. The windows are so high (about 30 feet) we really only have them for natural lighting."
"So on the night in question, a green laser beam suddenly shown down through one of the windows, seemingly scanned the entire living room before stopping and pointing the beam right next to my family member for about 10 seconds and then disappearing entirely. It had to be either a drone or from some sort of flying aircraft. I live in a relatively secluded place which made the situation all the more unsettling."
0friday
Find Her
"Pretty sure I witnessed a kidnapping once and it still lives rent free in my head (the woman lost her slipper when she was trying to get away and i took a picture of it that i still have for some reason). I did indeed report it to police right after I saw it occur but they were pretty blasé about it and I never ended up being able to determine what they did to investigate."
ergaster8213
From Behind
"I was in Jr High and had really long hair. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and almost tripped on a shoe on the floor. I bent down to move it and it felt like someone grabbed my entire pony tail and yanked it. I also could not sleep facing the wall for the longest time because it always felt like someone or something was right there behind me."
cheeseburgerphone182
Never face the wall. Life lesson.
These were some harrowing experiences, and we're glad these Redditors made it out to tell the story.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
People Reveal The Turnoffs That Make Them Not Want To Have Sex With Their Significant Other
Sex and relationships can be very dramatic.
It's not always fun and sweat. More often than not, it turns into wine and snores.
The truth is, it's not difficult to turn someone off.
One minute you're a hot dish. The next, you're stale meatloaf.
The question is, who is responsible?
Or is this relationship dead?
Redditor NeedSomeSparkInLife wanted to know who would be willing to share, so they asked:
"What makes you not want to be intimate with your SO?"
I'm an easily turned off person.
So it doesn't take much.
Desire
"Taking a moment to realize I'm the only one that makes sexual advances in the relationship. Makes me not want it. People think men only want sex for face value but a lot of men actually want the feeling of being desired more so."
Relative-Hour-9359
Anger Issues
"I've always heard of fighting then having sex after. Fighting has always made me not want it. The last thing I want to do when someone pisses me off is have sex with them. What made it worse is she always wanted to when we were arguing which made the argument worse when I refused."
DaMoonRulez_1
"I think you're supposed to resolve your fight, realize that you care for each other a lot, move past it, then have the passion because of that. Not fight right into sex."
Ksp-or-GTFO
Take a Shower
"My ex and I were together for nearly 7 years, but his hygiene never improved, so we stopped being intimate like, 3 years before I finally broke up with him. He showered only once a week, but he worked in kitchens, so he was sweaty and greasy all the time."
"He had an infected tooth, so he constantly had bad breath, but he refused to visit a dentist, even when he had the money to afford dental work. He stopped working out within the first year of us being together, which sucked because he would get jealous if I went to the gym by myself or with my girlfriends, but he refused to come with me."
GreenChorizo
Sober Time
"Personally, the only issue I have is my SO's drinking. He just becomes an unattractive person when he's drunk. It's one thing if we're both out socializing and drinking together occasionally, but he drinks almost every day, sitting on the couch in front of the TV and to the point of sloppy drunkenness way too often. His face changes, his posture changes, his personality changes... I just get so turned off."
WeptSiren3113
Hang Up
"When they are glued to their phones non stop! Put that s**t down and look at me before we go to bed!"
Palmwine
"I really dislike this too. Makes me feel alone in the relationship."
RealBrownPerson
No phones in bed. Hard rule for many of us to follow.
Step Back
"When I make a move, and then get the feeling she's not really in the mood/would only do it to please me. I want us both to have a good time, not only me. So when she seems not into it, I take a step back."
Level-Plate8372
Calm Down
"To be brutally honest, her anxiety and insecurity makes sex such a hassle. She doesn’t believe anything I say about wanting her, she can almost never relax during sex, she doesn’t take time to enjoy it, and if God forbid I have any trouble finishing, she takes it more personally than anything, which of course puts more pressure on me to finish, which then makes it almost impossible."
Ben_Franklinstein
When at Wal-Mart
"When they’ve done something really nasty/unkind that day. Cruelty is the most ugly thing a person can show, in my eyes. I had a boyfriend that I went to Wal-Mart with and he ended up flipping off and storming right past the sweet little old man that checks the receipts at the door."
"It was partially about how I used to check receipts and I remembered how I felt when people treated me like that- but I also remember the look on the little old man’s face and just how disgusted I was with my partner being so nasty about it."
"I couldn’t touch him after that and I got grossed out when he touched me. And then I started to notice how he was nasty to other people as well. It eventually led to our break up."
spxdergirl
33 Years In
"My husband used to dislike his job - he’d come home and do nothing but bi**h. After awhile, I just gave up trying to cheer him up with sex - you can only try so long. So, we had a long dry spell - like, whatever you think a dry spell would be, it’s longer. When someone is constantly annoyed, well, it’s hard to feel amorous."
"Anyway, he early retired (54) like a month before Covid kicked in and by autumn that year, well, let’s just say we’re back to what we were like when we first met. He’s not pissed off all the time. (I’m retired as well, and let’s just say, afternoon nookie is such a perk, as is morning nookie and 3am nookie because you can sleep in!) I’m glad we stayed together. Going on 33 years and we’re just so happy."
NicInNS
Rage
"Feeling angry. I hate feeling angry. I don't like being around other people when angry. So I'll go for a walk, a drive etc, and just clear my head."
jackfaire
It seems like "dead bed," as some folks call it, can stem from many things, from mood, attraction, hygiene, and more.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.