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The dictionary defines a homewrecker as "a person blamed for the break-up of a marriage or long-term relationship, especially as a result of having an affair with one of the partners."

That's serious business, sure. But relationships are complicated and everyone has their reasons, regrets, and even justifications, as we learned once Redditor fistingcouches asked the online community, “Homewreckers" of reddit, what's your story? Did you regret it?"


"He asked me out..."

He asked me out before he started dating her, and I said no, for a bunch of reasons that had nothing to do with my feelings for him. They were together for almost 2 years, and during that time, we kept in touch. It was innocent enough, talking over Facebook once in a while, joking around, and I would tell him funny stories about bad dates I was going on. One night we were both drunk texting, and things got super super flirty. I realized that we were no longer talking as just friends.

The next day, I messaged him, and told him this wasn't fair to his girlfriend, and that we had to stop talking online. We stopped. Six months later, he shoots me a message, saying that him and his girlfriend had broken up, and asked me to hang out to catch up. I hadn't been sure if it was a date or not, until he smooched me. We were inseparable from that day on.

Unfortunately, he had failed to tell me that he had literally broken up with his girlfriend THE DAY BEFORE he called me. And I got a reputation for breaking them up, which I kind of did, even though he never technically cheated. We're still together 10 years later, though, and sadly she still resents me for "stealing" him, and I know that she (and her friends) still think he cheated on her with me. I don't blame her though, I'd have been heartbroken if I was her, and I still feel bad for how it played out.

ghostinyourpants

"I didn't know..."

I didn't know he was married until she contacted me. I got lucky as hell. She found out what he was up to, she knew I didn't know, and simply asked me to meet with her to confront him and understood I was blindsided and understandably hurt and guilty all in one. So we met him together at a coffee shop. It was awkward as all get out. I cut him out of my life and after she and I had a talk we also broke contact. I still feel bad.

TinyTinasRabidOtter

"Definitely regret it..."

Definitely regret it, but mostly because I wasn't behaving well for myself or by my own standards. So I started dating this guy I worked with, and ended up moving in with him. I'd just graduated college and really wanted out of my parents' house. It was hard for me to adjust to living back at home, I couldn't find a decent job for months (still didn't I was working at a restaurant). Anyway, I lived with this guy for a few months, and he goes back home to Visit his family.

Except he didn't. He went home to get MARRIED. And then he came back, and we went right back to living together. I heard rumors sure, and when I confronted him about it he gave me all sorts of excuses until he finally confirmed it. And then it was more excuses to keep me around—it was arranged, he didn't love her, blah blah blah.

But eventually, she tells him she wants to come live with him. So she does. I'm kicked to the curb. Bounced around for a bit. She hates it here, wants to go back home.

So me, being the dumbass that I am, get asked to move back in. Now, at this point, when I look back at it, I try to be a little kinder to myself. I did, and ended up in a really low part of my life. He strung me along, saying he wanted to be with me, and told me he would break it off. He didn't. He exhibited a lot of abusive/controlling behavior during this time. Mostly emotional abuse, and once got physical. Then, after almost 3 years of living together, he straight up ghosted me. Left the country. When he was supposed to return, he just didn't. I also was a bit of an alcoholic at that time (1.5 years sober now!), and didn't handle it well. Drinking, hating life, stuck in a shitty apartment in a shitty city not really knowing what to do.

I went back to therapy, talked it out, and started working on the self-esteem problems/undoing a lot of the abusive behavior he was displaying. I didn't do a great job. I went back to hooking up with another shitty ex. Started talking more to an old hookup from school.

That old hookup from school came to visit me, we reconnected, and I moved four hours away from that fucked up situation to move in with him. I'm very lucky that I ended up with someone who was not only honest, hardworking, sweet and respectful, but willing to love me through all that fuckedupness lol. We got married two months ago!

acenarteco

"So I remind him..."

Was sittin' at work on my lunch break one day, get a message from friend's husband. He's drunk and high and wants me to come over to mess around. (This was the second time ever speaking to the man, mind you)

So I remind him that I'm his wife's friend, have never met him face-to-face, and give him the chance to tell his wife what just happened. Then I had to make a choice. Do I tell her or not? Cause some people dont wanna know. Or they blame you instead of blaming their S/O.

Send her a message and tell her that I have something to tell her about her husband, but I need to know if she wants to know or not. She says "Send me everything"

That night after work, she confronts him. He deleted the conversation but I had sent her screenshots. They got divorced over it (and other things too, she told me) and they have dual custody of their 8 year old son.

As for whether it was worth it or not...I feel like she and I are closer friends now but I can't really say. No one seemed to come out on top with this one.

tootytoos

"Thinking back..."

I got called one by the pissed off wife of the guy I dated for a few months. The problem was that was the first time I had a clue he was married, and if I'd known before then I would have broken it off immediately.

Thinking back, I should have found it weird that he never invited me over to his place, but eh.

But yeah, he was the homewrecker. He had a home and decided to mess it up by dating me.

yowiezowie

"If anything good came of it..."

Huge regret. If anything good came of it, it was that I learned not to be so judgmental. I married at 19, and divorced at 23, my ex was the one cheating. I used to say any woman who would do that is a slut. After the divorce, I was a bit lost and a little wild. I hesitantly began a relationship with a guy I considered a friend and trusted. He told me he would leave his wife for me, and I believed him. I knew her, and while I liked her, she did cheat on him multiple times, so it wasn't hard for me to believe he was leaving.

Pretty soon, I tired of the sneaking around, and began to pressure him. Turns out I wasn't supposed to really believe he'd leave her. That was the end of that short-lived stupid mistake of mine. Later, he spilled the beans to a friend of his, who told someone else, and the wife found out. Started driving by and wanting to fight me, screaming names as she drove by the house. I told her I didn't want to fight her and that I regretted what happened. Said she could kick my ass if she wanted to, but I wasn't going to defend myself, I was already kicking myself for being so stupid. That was pretty much the end of it, it was many years ago now, and it still makes me feel bad. Probably my top regret ever, and definitely out of character for me.

Crzy_Girl

"I quickly..."

Yes. I did not know he was married. 30 years married... he was military, I worked on base as a civilian. I moved in with him and everything. Turned out his wife lived in another state and never visited. There was nothing that made me think he was married. No hushed phone calls or anything. After we broke up he told her about me hoping it would make me take him back. She divorced him. And against my better judgment 6 months later we got back together. It was the worst year of my life. I quickly moved out and moved on.

Preetigee

"From what I know..."

I was labelled the "homewrecker" even though nothing actually happened between me and this girl. We had a bit of "flirty banter" at work over the course of a few weeks during the summer. I kept coming in in the mornings to post-it notes left on my desk with flirty messages, and I would return the favour of course ;)

I was unaware that she was engaged and had a child, and we carried this flirty banter on until one day she came over mine and we sat down and watched a movie together (literally nothing happened, and her SO clocked onto her not being home at her usual time and started spamming her with calls). I walked her down to her car, and managed to lock myself out of my house (that's another story which I have told in this subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/e5xmhh/what_is_your_locked_yourself_out_story/f9n6ftv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x).

Go into work the next day and everything is normal, walk out of work and there he is, the girl's SO, standing at the back of his van searching for tools. She messages me and tells me not to leave the building, to which I oblige. After this we split things off and don't talk anymore.

From what I know they are still together and she has another child on the way.

TotallyNotAnAgent1

"I know she wasn't a bad person..."

I don't know if this counts because they were separated for two years and in the midst of a divorce but she definitely called me a homewrecker when I started dating him and they had already been separated for a year and a half but their divorce hadn't been finalized. She called me sobbing and screaming profanities at me. Told me they were a family (no kids, but I get it.) I felt bad at the time, I told him that I didn't want to date a technically married man and that broke up with him. He still went through with the divorce and found me after, months later. We started dating again and now we're happily married.

I know we're both good people. I know she wasn't a bad person. Just two people in a bad relationship (there were lots of threats of self harm) and someone who shouldn't have gotten in the middle before it was fully resolved. I wish her happiness but I don't feel guilty for finding mine. I've been cheated on by my ex and the woman knew full well we were together (not separated) and even then, I don't blame her. It was his choice and our relationship was dying. Probably just too hard for him to end it. I wish them both happiness.

fejre

Image by Foundry Co from Pixabay

Now that college has become a standard requirement for so many jobs and careers, there is a massive push by high schools to get their graduating students accepted and enrolled at an undergraduate college.

On the whole, that's undoubtedly a great thing. A more educated workforce will be prepared to solve the most complex issues facing human beings in the next several decades.

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Image by Gianni Crestani from Pixabay

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

The person on the other end of a 911 call has a truly remarkable job.

For those who don't play that professional role, we hope to never encounter the 911 call interaction. But if we do find ourselves making that call, the moment is an anomaly in our lives.

The chaos, the panic, the racing heart, and the desperation are all emotions we, ideally, don't experience on a regular basis.

But for the operator on the other end, our call is one in a long line of calls they've received all day, and all the workdays before that one.

It's difficult to imagine being embedded in those uniquely urgent, emergency moments all the time.

Some Redditors who are on the other end of that call shared their experiences on the job.

WhimsicalxxButcher asked, "911 dispatchers what has been your most creepy/unnerving call?"

For a few, the most unnerving moments were the calm callers.

There was something just so eerie about how level-headed the faceless human being on the other end could be through such a desperate, tragic moment.

Almost Clinical 

"I had a friend who worked as a 911 dispatcher and he always said the worst call he ever had was a ~20 year old kid who committed suicide by mixing a bunch of chemicals together in his car to produce hydrogen sulfide gas."

"He said that the most unnerving part was hearing him calmly listing off the chemicals, the type of gas produced, and the effects of hydrogen sulfide on the body (namely the almost instant death it causes at high concentrations)."

"He ended the call by providing the address of the parking lot he was in and saying that nobody should approach the vehicle without hazmat equipment."

"Apparently after that there was a whooshing sound as he dumped the last chemical into the mix, and then the line went dead silent aside for a quiet fizzing noise."

"I know that call screwed him up because he almost never talks about stuff that happens to him on the job. He quit a few months later to go into construction management, and frankly I can't blame him."

-- iunoyou

Planned Out 

"A woman called me, saying she was going to kill herself. She was gassing herself. Gave me her name & address then said she was just going to lie down and 'go to sleep.' And stopped responding to me."

"I kept the line open, trying to get her to speak to me, and eventually heard officers forcing their way in to find her body. I guess she just wanted someone to find her body."

-- mozgw4

Before It Set In 

"When I got a call from a 6 year old who got home from school and laid down to take a nap with his dad. His dad never woke up."

"The kid was so calm when calling it broke my heart."

"I ended up leaving dispatch shortly after. I was good at compartmentalizing the job for the year I was doing it, but it would've broken me in the long run."

-- tasha7712

Other 911 operators were unfortunate enough to receive a call from the very last person they wanted to hear from: a loved one.

These dispatchers' unique position gave them the unexpected access to a family member or friend at their most dire moments.

No More of That 

"My family member is a long time first responder, and 'retired' into doing dispatch. He heard the address (someone else was taking the call) and realized it was his daughter's house."

"He rushed over there just in time to see them wheeling her body out. Overdose."

"Five months later, he was called to his ex-wife's place because his grandson (son of the daughter who recently passed) had his door locked, lights on, but wasn't responding to his grandma."

"He broke the door down and found him deceased in bed. Overdose."

"He's very stoic after years of all sorts of traumatic situations but my heart hurts whenever I think of what all of this must have felt like. Like sand through your fingers."

-- bitchyhouseplant

Knowing the Address

"Not me, but my grandma. I was sitting in the dispatch office, (very small one only 2 dispatchers including my grandma) but she put out a dispatch that there was a gun shot from my best friends address."

"My heart sank to my stomach and broke later that day. He committed suicide."

-- OntaiSenpuu

When it Happened 

"My uncle passing away. Worked as a small town dispatcher for a year or so. Had a bunch of messed up stuff happen on shift, but this call came in in the still hours of the night. Small town, so not many calls after midnight."

"I answered and recognized the name and address on caller id. Aunt was in a frenzy so didn't recognize my voice. I remained calm and got ems and fire rolling to them, but by my aunt's own words he was already blue."

"I went thru debriefing and mandated therapy for a couple other things that happened, but never really talked to anyone about this. I just try not to think about it."

"That was the call I figured out I needed to find a different job."

-- dangitjon

Finally, some simply had a front row seat to sudden tragedy.

These operators were flies on the wall when disaster struck. They never asked to witness what they witnessed, but sometimes that came with the territory.

A Holiday Tragedy 

"My mom is a 911 dispatcher. Early on she said one Christmas Eve while working she got a call from an elderly lady who's husband had just collapsed(and died) from a heart attack and in the background Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas music was playing on blast."

"The lady was screaming and crying and begging for her husband to wake up but my mom could hear his gurgling in his last breathes. She doesn't listen to or watch Alvin and the chipmunks since."

-- Blueflowerbluehair

What is it About Christmas?

"Christmas night. 911 call with crying child on the other end. A neighbor had run her car over her mom during a domestic."

"The mom crawled to the porch bleeding and the child saw the car coming back. I had her hide quietly in a closet with the cordless phone."

"The 10 year old child was crying and screamed that she hated Christmas. She was afraid of the police when they got there."

"I kept her on the phone until she felt safe enough to give the phone to an officer. I almost fainted after that call was over. Had nightmares for a while."

-- 2FunBoofer

Close to Home 

"Not a dispatcher but I handle radio communications for the Coast Guard. One night I was on the radio and got a call from an 11 year old kid whose boat had started to sink. He was out with his dad and 6 year old brother."

"They had been hit by another boat and his father got knocked unconscious. I remember the entire conversation up until the radio had gone underwater."

"They ended up finding his dad floating on his back alive but the two boys didn't make it. That one really fu**ed with me because my two littlest brothers were around the same age as the youngest."

-- HIRSH2243

A Horrible Clock 

"Another one that stays with me was the man who called in. It was the anniversary of his adult son having hanged himself. He'd now come home to find his wife had done the same."

"That date is always going to be a black day for him."

-- mozgw4


If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Again, we hope you never have to use the 911 call in your life. Nobody wants to be involved in a sudden emergency or a tragic incident.

But hopefully, if you do, an operator like one of these thoughtful, sensitive Redditors is on the other end.

Image by Nguyen Dinh Lich from Pixabay

When I was moving on from middle school to high school my parents had me tested for the "gifted" program. By some miracle I passed and was accepted. And then I turned it down. Everyone was irritated. "This will pave the way for any college you want! You'll learn so much!" his path will set you up for life!" Every adult tried valiantly to sell me this merchandise but in my gut I just wasn't buying it. So I "settled" a level below, merely advanced classes. And upon reflection... it was the best choice I ever made.

Redditor u/dauntlessdaisy was wondering how far some in life got by asking... For those of you who were considered "gifted" in school, what are you doing with your life now?
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Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

There's a million things that can happen to you while out on on the road.

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