I've literally never lived alone and I am almost 40 years old. In my family, that's not really that strange. There are a lot of us, and we all sort of pool our resources and efforts into our living situations. My grandmother even moved out of her own house to get away from living with my mom and us kids!
Of course it's got advantages - like none of us will ever go hungry and it may not be the most comfortable or private, but we will always have a place to land when life gets weird.
But it also leaves me with some questions - like what it's like to actually live alone. I've never been alone in a place more than a week at a time, and that was when my college roommate would go away for holidays.
Reddit user ThatGuyWitAShortName asked:
What is a highly underrated advantage of living alone?
... and yeah, maybe there's something to this living alone thing - because a lot of this sounds magical.
The Same Place
Everything's in the same spot when you leave for work and get back home. Same thing with food - there's nobody there to eat your leftovers in the fridge. Not to mention walking around naked when you get out of the shower.
No Bathroom Sharing
GiphyNot having to worry about someone else being in a space when you want to use it.
- Teaology
This!!! Currently sharing one bathroom with five people. It's torture.
Lived in a place like that but I was like 6-7 people with partners included. In the mornings there would be an actual line so I had to just pee in the backyard, luckily I had that option though I felt bad for the girls living there.
No Interruptions
No one to interrupt you from doing the things you want even if that is reading a book for 12 hours, binge watching a show, whatever the case may be.
- Volcorgi
Freedom
The freedom of decorating.
It seems so silly but after sharing a room with my older sister for over 18 years, being able to buy and design the furniture in a way I want is fantastic.
3AM Pancakes
I can do whatever I want.
Wake up at 3 AM and can't go back to sleep? F--- it, I'll get some work done. Maybe I'll clean the kitchen. Maybe I'll make pancakes. Who cares, it's just me.
I refuse to live any other way. I understand the concept of having a long term, live in mate. I get the security.
But I want 3:00 AM pancakes, and I don't want to apologize for wanting them.
50/50 Chance
No explaining to your guests why the place is a mess, either. I hated bringing girls over when I had roommates, 50/50 chance the place would either be reasonably clean, or a complete disaster when they didn't want to help clean up.
- pmw1981
Bad Habit
GiphyIt's a lot easier to change bad habits on a whim.
Oh, yeah. Lost 60 pounds when my husband went on his first deployment. Saw a nutrition specialist, was spending all of my spare time at the gym, was spending less than a third of what I had been on groceries. The whole works. Eat nothing but lean meats and vegetables, with the occasional treat after donating platelets? Not a problem.
My husband was thrilled when he got back. He then ordered a pizza, got cranky when I was gone while he was home, etc. It took less than a week for all the bad habits to come back.
I think this is an underrated comment. When I lived with my family, if I started doing push-ups or eating celery, I would almost certainly get comments. Even if it's positive comments, I really just want to be able to try things out without being judged one way or another.
Space
Space! I love alone time so much now.
Visiting family and they get overbearing? Leave.
Rough day at work? Solitude.
Need a nap? Nap.
This List
As someone whose husband leaves frequently for a year at a time I can answer this!
- Everything is where I left it when I come home, nobody here to move my things
- I can watch whatever I want on tv, without worrying its too girly or "you're watching Downton Abbey AGAIN?"
- I can cook whatever I want for dinner, yes even those dishes my husband hates and refuses to eat. I can have em two nights in a row!
- The bed all to myself. Guess what? I'm sleeping in the middle!
- The toilet stays cleaner way longer.
- It's 8:45 and I want to go to bed? Now I can! No longer have to wait for the "going to bed before 9:00pm makes you a loser" rule.
Let's just say, I've learned to look on the bright side of the lengthy separations.
In The Moment
Never waiting for anyone - to get out of the way, to vacate the bathroom, to run an appliance, to start a video...everything happens at the right time. You are always living in the moment.
- frshtrx
Getting To Know You
I haven't seen this yet. Actually getting to know yourself. You figure out what you like, how you want things, how clean you actually are, etc. It's a wonderful, eye opening experience everyone should do. People talk about living with an SO before marriage, I think living by yourself is more important.
Pros And Cons
cracks knuckles
As a person who has lived alone for the past 6 or so years. Let me elaborate the pros one cons.
Pro:
Radical freedom - do what you want when you want.
Little interruption - indulge in your hobbies all day if you like.
Privacy - oh God yes I love the privacy.
Eccentricities - do you like doing your ironing at 2am naked in front of the t.v? Go for it! Nobody will judge you because nobody will know.
Being loud - crank up the volume all you like.
Cons:
Your bad habits are exacerbated - nobody to hold you accountable means your bad habits will get worse.
Breakdown of social norms - if your toilet and bathroom are separate, the shower may wind up being your go-to urinal. When living alone your lizard brain takes over and you stop thinking about these things.
Loneliness - oh God the loneliness. It can be absolutely crushing.
Holding yourself to account - if you miss your alarm and show up 2 hours late for work, you have nobody to blame but yourself, and nobody will do you the favor of waking you up.
Getting comfortable in your own mess - it builds up over time and when someone comes to visit you're hit with the full shame hammer of your living situation.
No Problem
Zero accountability. Heading out to the beach and decide you want to stay or make a detour. No problem. Coming home at midnight instead of 6pm. No problem. Waking up an hour late. No problem.
- 2k_Argo
Schedule
Having your own schedule and not having to answer to anyone.
If you want to make a fancy meal at 2am? You go for it!
If you want to order a pizza at 10am while you watch the Office for the millionth time? You do it!
I miss living alone.
Running Water
GiphyLate night showers.
I lived alone for a long time before getting into my first roommate situation. I immediately realized how loud a running shower is and was just uncomfortable being that noisey while someone is sleeping when I get home late.
Negative Association
Cleaning is never a negative association anymore, you don't clean because someone is nagging at you, you take care of your home and keep it clean because you know how good and accomplished you'll feel when your done. It becomes kind of fun because you have complete freedom over this space that is now yours and you can move anything anywhere and the responsibly that comes with that feels awesome.
Grab & Go
Being able to leave the house without waiting for other people to get ready. I can just grab my keys and go!
All Mine
The ability to make where you are living yours! With roommates it was usually my room or their room and just shared areas - and most of the time it was spent hiding in whoever's room with the odd bit of interaction. But when I finally could get a place that was my own, I was free to do and use rooms based on function and spread out everything vs cramming all my stuff into a single bedroom.
Weird Vocals
Because I'm a singer, doing super loud weird vocal exercises home alone saves the embarrassment of someone hearing you do vocal frys and belting.
A Time Saver
Scheduling. Just the idea of having to wait 20 minutes to use a shower, or having to come back when someone isn't using the stove. Living with people is ridiculously inefficient some times and you can easily lose an hour or two in a day just waiting a few minutes or 20 minutes sitting on your phone while while even just waiting to go pee. It's kinda crazy how much it can add up. It's like going to a theme park with no lines.
Unexpected Guests
I don't have to entertain unexpected guests. The main reason I won't move in n with any of my friends is because I know they would have people all the time and it would be really exhausting.
Flu Season
GiphyThe bathroom is always free.
No food disappearing from the fridge unless you eat it.
You skip most flu seasons, because it has to be you who brings the virus home.
God And Satan
Nobody will never know how psychotic, perverted and f**ked up you are.
Joker make-up in front of your mirror? You're welcome.
Wearing a female dress when you're a guy? You're welcome.
Awkwardly singing like a freaking opera female singer? You're welcome.
You wanna take some LSD for a 8 hour trip? You're welcome.
You wanna paint a maniac evil f**ked pics on your walls? Nobody will tell you a thing.
Living alone is like to be God and Satan at the same time.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.
