
Everybody appreciates a little playful, amorous attention now and again, it does the ego good. What is not appreciated is overly aggressive, foul mouth hollering that can be heard for blocks. And the coin flips both ways. But more often than not, men are the catcalling culprits. So it's always interesting to hear about what happens when shoes swap feet as they say.
Redditor u/MaxwellWillamette wanted hear about the times the shoe was on the other foot by asking.... Men who've been catcalled before, what was it like and how did you feel about it?
Hard No
Back in high school I made the mistake of sitting deeper into the cafeteria (that's where all the scummy people sat) and I sat opposite a girl completely at random. She gets my attention and says "hey would you want to go out with me"?
Her friend has this smile on her face that tells me what I already know which is they're teasing me. So I ignore her and continue having my lunch.
She taps me again and says well, do you? Still both of them with this smile like they're waiting for their gotcha moment. I look at her dead faced and simply say, no. Then I walk to the front of the cafeteria where the relatively normal people are.
A Hard Stare
At all points in my life and all contexts, this.
Once a car full of girls pulled up tires screeching in front of me and they all started calling me handsome. I just did the whole "stare at them as if you are a psychopath" thing and kept walking because I was 100% expecting them to make fun of me, or that I was being recorded as part of those reaction stunts.
To this day I wonder if they were really hitting on me or if it was a prank. I mostly think it was a prank, otherwise it would have happened again.
Are you Sure?
It's not great because the first time it happened they were joking to see if I'd respond, and every subsequent time it's happened my mind immediately thinks they're still joking.
Ren Folk
It happened at a Renaissance festival. It was a little embarrassing and awkward. I didn't take it personally, though. I figured they were just trying to sell me something.
Naw man, that was probably legit. Ren Faire folk are horny.
They're basically all drama/band nerds, spending an entire weekend at an event where nearly everybody is getting sauced after (and during) hours and your tent (or someone else's) is always a short walk away.
I'd rather not...
I was about sixteen and pumping gas into my car when someone driving past catcalled me. I felt kinda flattered at first but then decided they were probably making fun of me and wished it hadn't happened.
Weird yet Playful
From women? It felt like their game was off. Like either they were unsure how to proceed and felt awkward about it or just lacking practice.
Gay guys were much more fun and playful. Basically what I would aspire to be when flirting with women. How ironic.
Creepers
Only by friends, for fun. I've had girls creep on me, while out walking and ask me if I wanted to go to a party. I always thought that's how I'll wake up in a bathtub with no kidneys.
Good Ole Gays
I've been hit on by guys and girls and I gotta say, the girls were way creepier and when i told them I was uncomfortable I was suddenly the sexist pig for not wanting anything to do with them. The guys were surprisingly way sweeter but maybe gay guys are just nicer than straight guys idk.
Similar Feels
It's embarrassing at the same time as being a bit of an ego boost. Awkward when you're not good at getting compliments.
Meat marketing
I (male 26) used to work in an office with 19 coworkers - all female. They were all much older except for one. Anyways, I've been caressed, hugged, touched, kissed on the cheek, etc. more times than I could ever recall. For a 21-year-old recent college grad, I loved the attention. Looking back, there were a few instances that were grounds for HR. But the women there treated me very well (aside from the flirting), and I liked every last one of 'em. I'm also 6'4" and in pretty good shape, so I never felt threatened. So yeah, I liked it haha.
Brazen
A guy said my shirt was funny then asked for me to turn around. I thought he was reading the back until I heard "mmmm".
To be honest, I felt a little creeped out. Later, I couldn't believe someone would be so brazenly open about checking me out, and that part made me feel a little better about myself haha.
Buzzcut
I had just gone to the barbershop a few days prior and gotten lined up and felt pretty good and fresh. I walked through the library in college wearing a well-fitting sweater with my 5/10 forearms showing and a girl whistled at me as I walked by and when I looked back she was giggling with her friends like children while looking me up and down.
It felt nice. Kind of weird, but nice nonetheless.
-[DELETED]
This fine thing
I'm a guy but I have long hair and a feminine figure (slim, with a large butt). From the front I have a beard so you can immediately tell I'm a man, but I've had guys check me out when they've only seen me from the back, and usually I find it funny, because it's never the nice kind of guy that you HEAR checking you out. So when I turn around they find out they were checking out another man's butt and as soon as they do they get REAL quiet and awkward. I like to joke that every time I trick a man into checking me out (especially the "look at THIS fine thing" kind of guy) I take their soul.
Smooth
Not really cat calling but an attractive girl walked past me and said "nice shorts" and smiled.
My dumb self said "no not really they're from Walmart"
I always wonder how differently I could have handled that situation
Any time anyone says anything about my clothes, I tell them where I got it and how much I paid. It's like a compulsion, it just falls out. "Oh, thanks, I bought it last summer at the Kohls; it was on the clearance rack for 12 bucks." Like, a simple 'thank you' is totally sufficient, but I just can't seem to stop there.
Must be joking
8 points·16 days ago
It's definitely different for men. There is simply no everyday expectation that anyone will compliment you on anything ever. Nothing. Not a chance. For a man to get catcalled is just such a weird experience that the first response is simply confusion.
Who are they talking to? Compliments aren't funny, so they can't be joking, but it appears they are in fact talking to me, so they must be joking. It's a complete dichotomy.
The next step is ambivalence. We don't know how to feel. If they are joking, then we should be offended, but if they aren't joking, then it's the happiest we've ever been. Both are possible, as they can't possibly be joking, and they have to be.
The final stage comes once we have decided whether or not they were having a go at us or not and resolve the dichotomy, even if it's just in our heads as we will likely never know their true intent.
Outwardly uncomfortable
Growing up in rural Tennessee in Christian churches, I had a lot of older women trying to set me up with their daughters, who often I'd never even heard of. It also made me pretty uncomfortable, especially with the way they talked about me. At least with the guys it was over quickly, but women(specifically older women) would badger me despite how outwardly uncomfortable I am.
Relativity
It's happened exactly 2 times in my 37 years, and I liked it. I imagine if it happened 2 times every day for 37 years it might get a bit old.
-[deleted]
Scammed
Understand that I'm not an especially attractive guy. I had a young woman call me out for being attractive at the Union Square farmer's market in NYC. I was more confused than anything. Turned out she was trying to compliment me into applying to work at an Abercrombie and Fitch store. Very weird experience.
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There is nothing more frustrating than the things we cannot say, but desperately want to.
Sometimes, we might find ourselves in situations where we are positively desperate to speak up, but for whatever reason can't.
Even though we know deep down, that people will be better off, or things might run more smoothly if we said something.
Redditor MCKlassik was curious to hear the things that people would benefit from hearing, but will likely never be told, leading them to ask:
"What is something most people need to hear but no one has the guts to tell people?"
Think twice before having children
"Some people aren't fit to be parents."- Busy_Quail1725
"A baby will not save your failing relationship."
"Some parents do not love their children."- Optimal-Green9561
When they blame their ex for the break up.
"Sometimes, it is you and not them."- Ok_String_6735
Don't let the smile fool you
"Just because someone is smiling does not mean that they are happy."
"Smiling is also a sign of nervousness or discomfort."- redge9987
Don't always let you feelings guide you
"Your feelings are important, but they can also lead you astray."
"Listen to them, but question them as well to see where you might be wrong."- PapiSurane
No one likes a know it all
"Not everyone needs to hear your opinion on everything."
"It's ok to have an unexpressed thought."
"Yes, I am aware of the irony expressing this thought."- Futurenazgul
Enough with the self pity
"Who you are is not who you are doomed to be."- Smart_Walk8237
When they're one egg short of a dozen
"You need to develop critical thinking and reasoning skills."- balaclavaloungeparty
When their scent precedes them.
"You should take a shower."- SatanOnLSD
In some cases, it might be worse not to say something, especially if it might actually help their situation.
But when that isn't the case, it's probably best to suck up our pride, and keep our big mouths shut.
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Films can be challenging in what they're trying to say, and if that challenge is too much to answer, don't feel bad for having to turn something off.
*The following article contains discussion of sexual assault.Reddit user, Elixir_Jx, wanted to know when a movie was just too much when they asked:
"What’s film is so brutal to watch you had to stop watching it?"
What reason would you have for stopping a movie before it finishes? The cinematography making you dizzy? The subject matter is too much for your to consider?
It'll vary, that's for sure.
"Animals Don't Behave Like Men"
"Watership Down."
"Hey, it's a cartoon, and it has bunnies!"
"Oh dear god..."
eddyathome
Let's Climb High
"Not brutal, but I had to stop watching the doc Free Solo bc my blood pressure couldn’t handle the stress. This was early on when I had no knowledge of the climber and outcome."
NoCanadianCoins
"The Alpinist is the spiritual successor to this because it takes all the danger and pushes the envelope a bit more. However you felt about Free Solo, you’ll feel the same way about The Alpinist, except the guy is a bit more charismatic."
RonyTheTiger
Don't Listen To The Internet. It's Bad.
"Batman and Robin(1997)"
skippedad404
"Batsuit nipples and sh-t zippers."
StickSauce
Perhaps it's the gore that forces you to turn it off, because watching someone being disemboweled for the umpteenth time in a film is not what you consider "entertainment."
Seems Like A Breach Of The Hippocratic Oath...
"I saw some French horror film about a nurse who went to some pregnant ladies house, tormented her, tortured her, then proceeded to cut open her belly with scissors to get the baby out."
DioramaDad
"I think that was called Inside. Not really bothered by gore in movies on the whole but that one definitely left me freaked out on the walk home."
Hairy_Brains
You Need To Pick Better "Family" Movies
"The Last House On The Left. The rape scene in that movie was way too brutal for me to get through it. I can still picture scenes of it for some reason, that's how real and violent it felt. Didn't help that it was a movie that my family decided to watch together either. That said, we still tease my mom for picking that movie out as some weird shared trauma bonding experience all these years later. So maybe it wasn't a bad family movie after all????"
lastcallcarrot
You Should See His Joker...
"Requiem for a dream"
_Bendemic_
"Watched it on a date."
"There was not a second."
MagnificentSyndicate
Sound Makes Everything
"While I didn't stop watching, Bone Tomahawk was just..... jaezus"
wolf_of_thorns
"I stopped but then shortly after gathering myself watched that scene. I think the worst of it is the sound. Whoever did the sound engineering for that scene, from the dude letting out this last gasp of pain he has to the splitting part all of it leaves a lasting impression"
The_Crescent
Romantic Revenge With Pretty Dresses
"Midsommar - I think its a psychological horror, I didn't stop watching but it was the most uncomfortable I have ever felt while watching a movie."
"The movie itself is very trippy and honestly disturbing."
Balderino
Whatever your reason for turning it off, trust your gut. If it's not giving you a good feeling, then maybe it's not the film for you.
There's A Message Buried Under All The Blegh
"a serbian film. awful sh-t"
tlep
"I finished it when I was a rebellious 21 year old solely out of spite and wanting to see "the most banned movie" and boy do I wish I'd turned it off."
Wolf-Track
"It was awful to watch. But (if I remember correctly) the film was made as a statement on the Serbian government. To tell the story of people born into a sh*tty system which they cannot escape."
"In that respect it was an incredible film. However I have to say that, I don't necessarily agree with the visual imagery, it was brutal and perhaps could have been toned down abit."
"Though arguably had to be done to get the point across to an audience who otherwise would have ignored it."
Awordforsynonym
A Movie About Kids. What Could Go Wrong?
"Grave of the Fireflies. One of the only movies I've ever stopped watching partway through."
Janube
"Brilliant but one of the darkest movies I've ever seen."
ferox965
A Grim View Of Our World
"Threads. The most terrifying movie I've ever seen about nuclear disaster. tl;dr it's not something you want to survive"
standrightwalkleft
"It's not even a horror movie, it's a docudrama. That's just how horrific the subject matter is."
"A lot of apocalypse movies offer a very romantic view of what things would be like. Threads (and The Road) show a much more realistic view of it. Just humans slowly becoming feral as they struggle to survive in nightmarish hellscape."
"I made it as far as the hospital scene, stopped watching, and decided that if the nukes are ever flying, the best thing to do is to pray to whatever deity you believe in (or not), then step outside and watch the fireworks."
Steam_whale
The Good Guys Will Never Win
"Funny Games"
AVBforPrez
"My husband turned it on and started watching it not knowing it. I’m like “oh this is interesting…He’s so annoying! Just leave her alone…Wait what…I can’t watch, but I can’t turn away…”
Wam_2020
Summaries are there for a reason, people. Let's start reading them before we press play, especially when our families are in the room.
Was there a movie you turned off partway through? Tell us about it in the comments!
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Former Inmates Disclose Which Things People On The Outside Wouldn't Understand About Prison
Being a law-abiding citizen shouldn't be that difficult.
As long as people obey the rules, maintain their morals, and avoid making extremely bad decisions, they will never see the walls inside a prison cell.
Unfortunately, people do often break the law and find themselves in the slammer where their contemplations on life choices come a little too late.
But now that they have nowhere to go, what is the wisdom inmates acquire?
Curious to hear what some of those might be, Redditor Max_Fenig asked:
"Former inmates of Reddit, what are some things about prison that people outside wouldn't understand?"
Many speculations about life behind bars are confirmed here.
Boredom
"how boring it is. you spend your entire time just waiting. waiting for court. waiting for a sentence. waiting to get out. it’s a level of boredom i never want to experience again."
– Necessary-Rabbit-340
Misery Loves Company
"Starchy food and a lack of dental care."
– tacopony_789
Waiting In Lines
"Seriously. Between regular prison stuff, it's all just waiting in lines. Picking up commissary? Go wait in line. Doctors appointment? We'll wake you up at 4am so you can go wait in line. (Also, why did the doctors always have to check me out at 4am? One time, they woke me up for medical and for a split sec I didn't know where I was so I just put my hands down my pants and went back to sleep. Guards just laughed and told me to wake my a** up...lol)"
– nnnoooeee
Like A Psych Ward
"No kidding. Your feeling of helplessness is so intense. I sat there thinking I was just a bit down and sad. So now you lock me up and treat me like child and expect me to suddenly be happy? I didn't gain anything from it except learning to keep my sadness to myself and not reach out for help."
"Left the place barely being able to function from my depression to being so drugged up I could barely function. No change in my status to society etc. Just a change in the cause."
– Ashotep
Some former inmates miss the established sense of order and the mundanity of life in prison.
Weird Kind Of Freedom
"Sometimes you miss it once you're out."
"There are some days where I just feel defeated by the daily stresses of life, and I remember being able to wake up every day and not really have to worry about a lot of things: I don't have rent or utilities to pay, I don't have to go grocery shopping, I don't have to do yard work, I don't have to keep a schedule of places to be and worry about making sure I have enough time to get from place to place or anything. It was a weird kind of freedom while being extremely un-free."
– bstyledevi
The School Analogy
"I think this is part of what I miss about being a kid. School was like an optimistic 'prison' in that we were told what to do and when. But that in itself was freeing, because I didn’t have to worry about planning the day, or my life. I didn’t miss out on things bc we all went to the same things. It felt like the guidance we had would make everything turn out okay."
"This is part of what’s difficult about being an adult, that you don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t know if youre making the best choices, you constantly fear missing out on other things while doing anything, you got no guarantee of social interaction with others. People aren’t trusting of you by default, and every first interaction is an attempt to convince people that you’re a good enough person to engage with."
"Someone’s always there to catch you from falling and help you out in school as a kid. As an adult, there’s no safety net, no one’s coming to save you, because you’re on your own."
– ItActuallyIsGullible
Going Through The Motions
"Yeah, its so easy once you get used to it. Everything is figured out for you, you got a stable rutine and there are clear rules and bounderies. Also you usually have a tight group of friends that you share everything with."
"I spend a year in the army as a conscript and I was pretty down after it ended, because I had to return to a life of a young man where everything was still so unclear and difficult."
– ManyPerformance9608
Finding A Community
"Honestly, it's not always so bad. These days there are so many drug addicts in low sec prisons that they sometimes group them together in the same blocks. I was one of them, and everyone was respectful and friendly. When I got there I was in full opiate withdrawal and my cell mates gave me food and comfort to help me get through it. This is not always the case, for sure, but I've dealt with worse people on the outside than when I was locked up."
– boston_nsca
For the most part, ex-cons believed the reality of life in prison didn't closely reflect Hollywood depictions.
Don't Rock The Boat
"Ex-Con here. One thing about Prison I feel like people don’t understand when I tell them my story is that Prison (at least for me) isn’t entirely like what it is in the media. Yeah sure there is Riots, Yard fights, people get shanked, and there scary dudes who look like they want to kill you but in reality they just look mean and scary as a way to protect themselves. For instance there was this big tough dude who was actually a chill dude and got cigs and stuff for others guys if you treated him right. So in reality if you treat other inmates right and don’t bad mouth anyone then you’ll be fine. Just don’t do the what the 'skinny idiot' did, and that is act all SUPER tough and get in peoples faces because that is what will get you beaten up."
– Suitable_Panic_7558
Surprising Civility
"Prison society is exceptionally polite 99% of the time. Inmates have some of the best manners of anyone you will ever interact with. They hold doors for the next person even if they are far away and have to wait. They say please and thank you. They do not insult each other or show disrespect."
"If you are ever in prison and see inmates acting impolite towards each other, get the f'k out of there. That 1% when it's not polite is extraordinarily violent and dangerous."
– Duke_Shambles
Unexpected Comfort
"I'll take a different angle on this instead of the usual horror stories, as violent and crazy as it was, there were a lot of good parts too. As someone that has had a pretty chaotic life, having a secure day to day life, employment and lots of trusted friends around me for a few years was really nice."
"There's a certain level of comfort that comes with being surrounded by murderers that you're actually friends with, new inmates come and go but you're tucked away in the long term unit where there's a 3 month waiting list to even apply to transfer in, it really was a very peaceful experience for me."
– Totallycasual
Based on the majority of what was shared here, it may seem those of us who have never served a sentence have wrongful impressions of life behind bars.
We just have to take their word for it.
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I know we're a culture full of over the top whiners.
We love to go on and on about all the things that bother us.
And all of the life impediments that stand in the way of our happiness.
But we need to dial it down a notch.
There is a difference between actual bodily harm and an inconvenience.
Redditorseesnawsnappywanted to mull over what aspects of life make us feel like actual pain but maybe we're exaggerating. They asked:
"What isn't torture but feels like it?"
I hated waiting tables. You have no idea the actual torture, ok not actual, but misery one must endure.
Dial Up
"Slow internet."
sev45day
"Slow internet : pretty salty"
"Connected but no internet : a n g r y"
Out of the Way!
"Traffic when you’re already late."
EdibleTurds
"Being stuck in traffic, and having a poop locked and loaded in the chamber. Stupid drivers wrecking all the time and having me prairie doggin' for an extra hour."
pineappledaddy
"Worst part for me is I don't have to poop until Im stuck in the car i get the urge before I leave and I try to go and it doesn't happen but when I'm the car without a bathroom within 50 miles it's like I've taken a laxative it's so terrible."
bknox1789
Extensions...
"Food delivery being over the estimated time."
leswhinin
"Or when the time keeps getting extended further and further and further and you have a 6 AM flight the next morning and then you check and it turns out the restaurant closed 2.5 hours ago but Doordash still says that a Dasher was waiting for an order and you have to give up and have sleep for dinner."
THROWRA302376
Midday Blues
"Having a 230 appointment the whole day is ruined."
LikelyGeoduck85
"I had one of those today! It was the only appt available this week, and fell right in the middle of an 8 hour shift. So I left and took my cat to the vet, brought her home, and went back to work. Honestly, not nearly as bad as if it was scheduled on an off day. Lucky to have a boss that understands pet needs, too."
verycoolfarts
If I hear that song again... I can't even think about it.
Swollen Glands
"I caught strep for the first time in my early twenties when working at a daycare/preschool, and it actually was torture. My throat was so swollen it felt like I was swallowing glass and every time I tried to swallow I couldn't really get all my saliva to go down so I was pretty sure I was just going to drown in my own spit."
Timely-Tea3099
It's Lost
"When you lose 5g and it kicks you back down to 4 and it won’t load a webpage even though 2 years ago it would’ve had it up in 2 seconds."
EggsAndBeerKegs
"Long story short with physics, it’s frequency vs power. Then providers think they need to upgrade some parts but not others. There’s a reason, but it’s a stupid reason."
hoosier268
"This makes me furious. How in the hell is having only 4g as slow as when we didn't have 4g at all years ago? Ridiculous."
FainOnFire
MOVE IT!!
"Being on one of those slow-moving people movers and stuck behind someone who is just standing there instead of walking."
bassistmuzikman
"I yelled 'get out of the way' this morning to a guy that was walking slow when a car was behind him and I need to get to where the car was coming from."
coolcrushkilla
Eternity
"Waiting at the doctor's office. (USA). They have the audacity to charge you a fee for being late and calling it a 'no-show' but damned if I've ever been to a 2pm appointment that actually began earlier than 2:30-2:45."
sexapotamus
"45 minutes is ok, in France we don't pay for doctors but it's possible to wait 2 or 3h after the original time of appointment."
Rabanaaash
"I remember having regular appointments for physical therapy that never started on time. The magazines in the waiting room were crap, so I started bringing a really long novel with me."
Annihilated_Matter
Forever
"Watching 2 unskippable 30 second ads, it's only a minute but it feels like an eternity."
Formal_Activity5040
Well there are worse things in life. We do whine a lot.
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