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Getting married can be one of the great stresses of your life. Pressure and anxiety can fester over every little thing, coupled alongside the universally crippling fact you're about to be attached to one person for the rest of your life, can be too much for people. In those times, it's important to remember a wedding is merely one day and what you're planning on doing is committing to one person who you hopefully love enough to spend the rest of your life together.

Sometimes that's not enough, as demonstrated by this young man's story, who posted on Reddit looking for advice.


Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] dating for 2 years, how can i tell her, i want to cancel our marriage

Hello, I'm getting married in exactly 2 weeks. A month ago, I was 100% sure I want the marriage but a week ago I started to get worried about the marriage.

Basically I know, nothing will change after the marriage because it's just a piece of paper, but somehow I'm still scared. I talked with her like 2 times already, told her my thoughts and that I'm not ready yet. She said "Ok, if you're not ready, you shouldn't marry me" but after an hour it suddenly changed my mind and i told her "I'm ready, its just a big step. I guess im just nervous". Both times it ended like that and on the next day, my mind cant think of anything else, on how scared i am.

I guess the mindchange happens because I don't really want to hurt her. I want to stay together with her, we are also living together since 1.5 years but i don´t think I'm ready yet.

Does anyone here was in the same situation? How did you started the conversation and how did it all end? What would you recommend me? Just talking to directly again? I feel awul for "changing" my mind every 3 days.

TL;DR : Unsure if i should cancel my marriage in 2 weeks even when sure, how.

Kageyashax

Have You Given It Serious Thought?

It is absolutely not just a piece of paper and the fact that you think that shows just how wildly, thoroughly unprepared you are to do it. I want to inform you, yes, inform, that you are making a gigantic mistake routed in immaturity. You havent even been together two years! You really think nothing is going to change between you after marriage and for literally the rest of both of your lives? That's a scream.

OPsShoulderDevil

It's Best To Not Drag It Out

My STBX husband wasn't ready. And I sort of worried that he wasn't ready. From the time he proposed to the day before the wedding, I assured him more than once that if he wanted to take more time, or even not get married at all, I was ok with it. For my part, I loved him (and still do) and never doubted it for a second.

He dragged it out for 4 years before finally admitting that marriage wasn't "his thing". He quite literally ruined my life because of his indecisiveness and I would rather have been his girlfriend forever than his wife for a minute.

Don't do to her what he did to me. If you love her at all, don't drag her into a legal and emotional mess because you are afraid.

Dazeydevyne

Two-Become-One

the marriage. Basically i know, nothing will change after the marriage because its just a piece of paper, but somehow im still scared.

Wtf are you serious? It's not just a piece of paper. Do you even know what it is? It's a legal document basically merging two people to one. This means you share everything. Any debts? You share. You get divorced, your a-- gets to pay alimony. Any assests you have, half gone. Yeah a piece of paper. Clearly you are not ready cause you think it's just a piece of paper. This paper is a business contract and one of the most important ones, if not the most important one.

Dezsz

All It Takes Sometimes Is A Little More Time

If you aren't ready don't get married. Postpone it or cancel it. Bring it up sooner rather than later too. Just tell her you think you need more time before you get married, don't beat around the bush. You've already talked about it to her, she seemed to understand.

Not going to lie, 2 weeks before my wedding I wasn't scared, I just wanted it done and over with. But everyone is different.

Cyt6000

[Update] Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] dating for 2 years, how can i tell her, i want to cancel our marriage?

After some serious thinking and mental breakdowns, i came to the conclusion "I cant marry her". So last Saturday I told my girlfriend I'm not ready yet. She was really angry and sad, it was obvious understandable.

I also felt guilty but after the conversation I felt free. It was probably the hardest conversation in my life but I feel so much better right now.

Even tho things are still difficult between us, her parents hate me and we are overthinking our relationship and thinking about a breakup everything is just better.

Someone said "If your relationship can't handle a wedding postpone, your relationship won't handle a marriage" and i think he's absolutely right. If she leaves me now, I'm 100% sure it was the right choice. Also someone gave me the question :

"If it came down to a choice between getting married and breaking up -- do you have a clear preference for one or the other?"

And yes, my preference was clearly breaking up. I never thought about that way.

I even realized our relationship has a lot of problems and I'm thinking of breaking up as well. Maybe starting to focus more on myself, but I will decide that in a week or so, depends on how things will go between us from now on.


Also I realized that I'm lacking friends and social contact. I have some friends but in the past 2 years I did nothing else than doing stuff with my girlfriend. Basically we were together 24/7 except work. I neglected my friends and yesterday i met some friends and it felt great. I honestly start doing more with my friends and trying to find new friends SOMEHOW

Thanks for reading.

TL;DR : I was unsure about my wedding, but in the end i cancelled it and it was the hardest choice and the hardest conversation in my life. Everything was paid but in the end it was worth it. The relationship might be falling apart now, but i rather breaking up than paying a divorce in a year or so.

Kageyashax

Pay Attention To Your Own Feelings

That's great news!

Someone said "If you relationship cant handle a wedding postpone, your relationship wont handle a marriage" and i think hes absolutly right. If she leaves me now, im 100% sure it was the right choice.

The fact that you were so hesitant, the fact that you would prefer breaking-up than marrying her, and the fact that you feel so relieved are all the confirmation you need that you made the right choice. Tons of relationships don't survive going back on that kind of commitment, if she choses to leave you now, it says nothing about her.

No_regrats

One End Leads To A New Beginning

I was really bitter at 21 because a guy i had been dating for 6 years all of a sudden told me he didnt want to marry me anymore....

5 years later I have met my person and we are happy and getting married. I am a much more whole person, and the best thing that guy ever did for me was set me free so that I can experience all that I did.

Said all that to say..OP if you hade [sic] any concerns you did the right thing. And if you all decide to split as painful as it is, and as much as she will say/feel she hates you. In time it all makes sense. Good luck.

mimi1291

Being An "Adult" Means Making The Tough Call

"If it came down to a choice between getting married and breaking up -- do you have a clear preference for one or the other?"
And yes, my preference was clearly breaking up. I never thought about that way.

Then stop putting the responsibility on her to do so. Grow up and break up with her because you clearly aren't satisfied with this relationship.

Which is totally fine, but you need to do some adulting here and break up with the girl instead of stringing her along with maybe-someday-getting-married when what you really mean is it's over. You're trying to put the pressure on her to leave you now, because you want a break-up, and that's pretty sh-tty.

fakemoose

No One Is The Same At 25 As They Were At 22

Someone put it very aptly to me during my divorce, and I'd like to pass on the wisdom. No one is the same person at 25 that they were at 22. Getting married that young is a gamble.

You could be the most head over heels in love couple in the world, but if you haven't yet fully worked through who you are, you have no right to tie another person's life to yours. Breakup or not, calling off the wedding is the best thing for both of you.

[usernamedeleted]

"True Love Can Come At Any Age"

Grow as your own person, make friends like you said you would, and live life. You're 21, and while true love can come at any age; it probably won't be now!

Best of luck!

frankiethesquealar

H/T: Reddit

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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