Who doesn't love a good wedding? Honestly, weddings can be enjoyed for a multitude of reasons. Perhaps the bride and groom are having a gorgeous, elegant affair, with dining service and an open bar? Or maybe they got creative and planned a retreat for you and your closest friends to get away to while celebrating their love? Or perhaps someone who has no business singing thinks they need to bless the crowd with their voice.
Reddit user, u/ajlposh, wanted to hear about:
They're still married.Giphy
Happened at my niece's wedding. Her new husband full on shoved that cake in her face and she lost it. Almost exactly what you described, except she never got over it. From that point forward for the rest of the night she was in tears, or screaming in rage. The wedding was literally ruined. A lot of people left when it became obvious that it had turned into a big shit show. I spent most of the reception outside smoking pot with various guests young and old, so that was kind of fun. They're still married.
Invite all their Facebook friends and expect 700 people and like less than 100 show up.
They were confused and offended when almost nobody came.
Death Sooner Please.
I wasn't a guest, I was working the wedding. The bride got drunk and sat on some other dudes lap for two hours and flirted with him while the groom sat by himself at the head table with a defeated look on his face.
Does dying on the inside count regarding the "until death do us part" clause?
Names and Things.
The ceremony also was the "Name Reveal". They changed their last name because they didn't want to be stuck to their heritage and didn't want anything to hold them back.
Turns out they changed their name thinking they could erase their mountains of debt or at least hide from it. Turns out you can't live under two legal identities.
Floating to a Year...Giphy
Bride takes three hours to appear. After the ceremony, she and her spouse go up in an air balloon. The marriage did not last a year.
Is this Candid Camera?
Oh I have two!
- The bride decided to sing as she walked down the aisle. She was not a particularly talented singer, and she was singing over a Carrie Underwood song so we could all hear the original vocal track. She finished walking about halfway through the song and then stood there and sang the rest of the song at the groom and all we could do was sit there and watch.
- (Different wedding) They began the wedding with the groom playing an out of tune guitar and singing to the bride. They were sitting on chairs in front of everyone, legit 400 people, and the bride was clearly uncomfortable which made everyone else uncomfortable. That wedding also included a foot washing ceremony, and when the bride put her shoes back on she tripped on her dress and fell flat on her face. They hadn't done the vows yet and the ceremony stopped for 20 minutes to deal with the nosebleed she gave herself. reflectorvest
My cousin and his wife are SUPER religious and maybe the two most awkward people I've ever met. They did one of those 'fake out' first dances where it starts with a slow song then transitions to a dance number with an upbeat song.
Not only is that naturally cringe worthy, the upbeat song was 5 minutes long and they just kept repeating the same moves over and over for what felt like eternity. There was no alcohol allowed at the wedding, so there was nothing to dull the pain.
Away they go....
Flew away in a helicopter at the end but there were only appetizers for food.
Wrong priorities! To be honest, I've been to quite a few weddings where we stop for fries on the way home because of small quantities or reasons not to eat the main course such as elegance over flavor.
Somehow a lot of people seem to think that fish is elegant for weddings, but there's a lot of people who dislike fish or, like my boyfriend, are allergic to it.
This was moreso the bride's family... One of my first classmates to get married (we were ~19) had a small reception, mostly family and friends from high school (nothing wrong with that). They decided to "auction off" the garter belt, and whoever won took it off the bride. Most of us were poor college students, so the only people bidding were her dad and uncles. It was super uncomfortable.
Edit: I did not expect this reaction! So to answer the most common questions: the bride's (very drunk) dad "won" to the tune of $500+ (money grab by the couple to "help" with honeymoon expenses), this was not Alabama (North Dakota), and this was not the "normal" garter tradition by any means, just a particularly cringeworthy version of an already cringey tradition.
Father of the Bride.
Not the bride and groom but the bride's father. I was the best man.
They married young after she fell pregnant, it wasn't planned, but they clearly loved each other and it was the right thing for them to do in their eyes (both Christian).
Anyway, come the wedding day I'm sat next to the brides father at the reception and I can see he's looking at his prepared speech repeatedly. I can see phrases like 'not ideal', 'would've preferred not to welcome you into the family in these circumstances' etc. Just before the groom gets up to give a speech, the bride's father excuses himself to nip to the loo leaving his 'speech' behind.
I'm not ashamed to say I swiped it and then pleaded ignorance when he returned. In the end he stood up and muttered a few words about love and then sat down.
I never told the groom and I'm happy to say they're still happily married 20 years later.
UPDATE - Blimey, that blew up! I never expected this to be noticed but thank you for all the very kind comments and awards 🙂.
Can We Hurry This Up? We Have A Game To Get To.Giphy
When I was in high school one of my hockey teammates had a kid with his girlfriend when they were juniors. They decided to get married and the wedding was officiated by my teammates dad, who also happened to be our head coach. The entire wedding was the bride and grooms direct family and the hockey team. At a Golden Corral. Then the reception was at.... the same Golden Corral. Then we had a hockey game that night. The other team we played that night somehow found out about it and hounded the guy the whole time. They were a bunch of d!cks.
Now about 7 years later that have a second kid, dad is an officer in the Air Force, both of his kids play hockey and he coaches and refs and him and his wife look very happy so I'm glad it all worked out for them.
Apples, Everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
They bought an apple orchard after leaving the city to live a simpler life...and really doubled down on the apple theme.
Apples everywhere: on the tables, in baskets all around the venue, on the podium where they got married, pictures of apples hanging everywhere, small fake trees with apples tossed under them, the dude marrying them had an apple tie on, apples somehow incorporated into every dish for the reception. The cake was shaped like an apple.
It was really f-cking bizarre.
They sold the orchard a couple years later because they had no idea what they were doing.
Okay? Are You Going To Talk About Them?
Not the groom and bride's fault. But the pastor marrying them, talked about his marriage and his kids for 20 minutes. He was obviously going for something of showing what marriage will be like. But he full up was talking about how his daughter, Kelsey, learned to walk this way, and his other daughter's first words were this and that. And that he and his wife make love throughout the house because that's what you do when in love, etc.
Bride and groom had to stand there holding hands for 20 minutes right in front of him as the other 150 of us had to listen about his sex life and his kids.
Come On, Let Your Colors Burst
I've worked over 200 weddings at the same venue, many couples wanted fireworks and we had a company that could always do a show.
The couple ALWAYS, without fail, would pick Firework by Katy Perry to play during the show.
They sang their vows to each other.
Neither had a singing voice.
Vows were generally bat sh-t crazy, like submissive in the bedroom, and not asking about where she was going.
The autotune microphones were a terrible idea.
Their vow songs shared a chorus and it was awful and they expected the guests to sing along with the chorus.
The vows singing lasted 20 minutes.
Smell Good. SMELL GOOD.Giphy
At the reception line, after the church wedding ceremony:
The bride had a large bottle of her favorite perfume and sprayed each guest with it - female and male, whether they wanted it or not - as they entered the banquet hall.
Some guests complained that the smell of perfume was so strong that they lost their appetite and couldn't partake of the banquet.Back2Bach
We All Got Dressed Up, So You Do Too!
Bride shows up almost 2 hours late to her own wedding. Southern California in an open field, no water and no shade. She shows up and wants to get married in her yoga outfit. The groom shut it down and when she refused to change her clothes the groom decided to leave her looking stupid and they never got married.
Coitus? Get It???
The groom gave a speech thanking everyone for coming that devolved in the space of about two minutes into a straight-up roast of his new brother-in-law. They were friends, and the brother-in-law seemed to take it in good humour, but there's only so much implication of 'I'm for sure going to be f-cking your sister tonight' that you can take before it becomes really cringy.
It didn't help that a) I barely knew anyone there because I was a plus one, and b) I was on the table with the elderly relatives from that side of the family, who were less than amused.
This. Sounds. Amazing.
At a classmates' wedding. They were young - maybe like 22? 23? There is apparently a caking tradition in some parts of the country, where when they cut the wedding cake, the couple feed each other a bit and smear each other's faces with cake as a joke. The bride had absolutely made 1000% clear to the groom she did NOT want to be caked.
He did it anyways, and not just a small smear, but full on smushed the slice in her face. She was stunned initially, then got up, face full of cake, yelled "YOU A@@HOLE I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!" and then ran to a back area in the reception. The groom tried to follow but the bridesmaids/mother of the bride stopped him. So he sat at the head table awkwardly while half the wedding party rushed off with the bride.
She stayed back there for like an hour. They eventually did let him back there to check on her. We could hear her crying and them arguing. The rest of the reception came to a screeching halt until one of the bride's aunts emerged and directed the servers to clear the tables and put on some music.
They got divorced 2 years later.