He Was Married

I dated a guy for nearly 2 years who had family living within blocks of my parents. At first I just assumed he was shy, or not close to his family and that's why he didn't want to do the meet the parents thing.

As time wore on, that red flag waved stronger...

Until, finally, by spying on his sister's FB, I realized the reason he didn't want to introduce me was it would have been awkward... he was married.

- Omissionsoftheomen

Get The Real Reason

After 2 years together, I would also be upset that my partner hadn't introduced me to his family, and honestly i think most people would be giving the side eye in your situation.

I think you need to talk to him, calmly, and ask for the real reason you haven't met his family yet. That they might be a bit miffed if you break up is not acceptable.

Explain that his decision is hurting you, and state that it is affecting your relationship.

- missmegsy

Separate Relationships

Hey, so your situation is kind of similar to mine. I've been dating my bf for over two years, we're the same age and in college still. The friends that I've told about this do think it's weird, but I talked to him about it. Basically he's not as close to his family as I am, his parents are divorced and working, and basically have their own lives and new partners.

It used to bother me a lot since he would be at my house all the time, I introduced him to my family within the first month of dating. I've just come to the fact that this is how his relationship is with his family, where they all keep their lives separate. The thing is they text each other random stuff, but don't really spend time together. It's strange to me and all my friends because we come from nuclear families, but I've had to look at it from a different point of view.

Hope this helps and hope everything works out for you. Hopefully you and I will meet the in-laws before marriage happens! lol

- hatenotlove

Relationship Isn't In His Future

"...his parents get excited about meeting his girlfriends and then they get really disappointed when he eventually ruins the relationship and they break up."

Let me offer you my experience. I have anxiety around my parents meeting my partners because, to me, it felt like failure when those first few relationships broke up and my parents were disappointed. So, eventually, I didn't tell my parents about relationships I was 90% sure were going to end. They knew I was dating someone, but I would never introduce them, never talk about them, never even consider bringing a boyfriend around. It wasn't worth the stress to me.

Now, I have a boyfriend I'm happy to bring to my parents, or weekend with with sisters, and make future plans with. Because I see a future with him, and him with me. This might not be your experience, but if I were in your boyfriend's position, the only reason after 2 years to not introduce you would be because this relationship wasn't in my future.

- Hatshepsut87

Future Wife Isn't You

It sounds to me like at this point, the next girlfriend that your boyfriend wants to introduce to the family is his future wife. And that he doesn't see you as that person. Not sure if he will come to in time or not, not sure if that's what you want. But that's my take, and I think it's worthwhile asking him those questions.

- blumoon138

Soap Opera Family

To be honest, none of my girlfriends ever met my parents, except for the first. Because I am ashamed of my soap opera family. I still attend their family gatherings and visit them, because I like my mum.

The first time I introduced a girlfriend to my family at Christmas Eve dinner, my step dad and uncle, after two glasses of wine, proceeded to call her a fat cow, making jokes about her weight (she wasn't even overweight in anyway.)

She stayed with us for a couple of days because we were long-distance at the time. When she went to take a shower, my stepdad went around the house to "check" whether she had opened the bathroom window to prevent the room from steaming up. Fking creep.

After that, never again.

If that's the case, he needs to just tell you the truth.

- EliteRocketbear

"Before We Die" 

You mentioned in some responses that his parents were on the older side, like Dad was over 70. Honestly, his parents might also be putting a lot of pressure on him to "get married and have babies before we die" and having them meet you might only fan those flames and he doesn't want to put you or himself or your relationship through that. . .

- anon_e_mous9669

Age And Experience

This might actually be a sign of your ages/experience. I've been through a few serious relationships at this point, and I now wait to introduce my boyfriends to parents because I don't want them to get attached in the event we breakup. I also don't want them to have any fantasies that I've found "the one" or that I'm getting married soon unless I've gotten to a point when I think that is a possibility. I'm also less eager to meet my SO's parents now, because I absolutely adored some of my exes' parents and was crushed when I realized I would never be a part of their families.

I think you should let him know how this makes you feel about your overall relationship, and tell him that you don't feel comfortable moving out of state with someone whose family you haven't met yet. If this is important to you and he doesn't step up, then you may want to hold off moving out of state together.

- IH8Mayo

You're Not The One

It's simple, he's not sure you're the one. Doesn't want to introduce to his family until he is sure- but you said you don't even want to marry him. So I wouldn't place too much importance on this.

- picklemonster1

Mom Ruins Everything

My father's mother had a habit of ruining relationships for him. Example: he brought home a nice girl, but with a bit of a longish face.
His mother: "Do you have hobbies?"
Girl: "Horse riding."
Mother: "You can tell. You start looking like the animals that you are with."

The poor girl left crying and they broke up. When my father met my mother, he kept her away from his parents as much as he could.

What I'm trying to get across here is: he may have a valid reason to not introduce you. Some families are not tightly knit for a reason.

- d-a-v-e-