Family dynamics are a complicated thing. Some people spend tons of time with their family and/or are emotionally close. Others are so distant that those family members may as well not exist. Navigating that relationship with your own family is hard enough, but navigating your partner and their relationship with their family can seem almost impossible. Things that are casual no-brainers for your family might be a huge deal for their or vice versa. For example; introducing a partner. Some families want to meet everyone and others would rather never see your partners face until you're walking down the aisle.
One Reddit user has been with her man for two years and he's pretty much refusing to introduce her to his family. She's introduced him to hers, but he won't bring her around his even though they live very close by and he is closer with them than she is with hers.
Here's her initial post to Reddit:
Things have been especially great lately. But I can't seem to let this one thing go.
For context, I come from a big, very close-knit family, but I currently live 1,000 miles away from them. I introduced my boyfriend to my parents last year, as well as my sister on a separate occasion. My boyfriend definitely seemed a bit shy around them, which was weird and unexpected (even his job entails making small talk with strangers all day, and he's great at it!) I had many more opportunities to have my BF hang out with my parents and other relatives, but I now feel awkward doing so when I haven't met his.
My BF's family is just his parents and a much older half-sister who is married with kids, but they still vacation together twice a year and my BF has a cute relationship with his brother-in-law and nieces from what he's told me. The kicker is that his parents live 30 minutes away, and the sister is a 1 hour drive. I've even been to his parents house with him, but only while they were away (they're snowbirds).
I've expressed several times over the past year that I want to meet them, and that I was hurt by the fact that it seemed like he was hiding me from them (it turned out, he hadn't told his parents about me until a few months ago, but even now they have no idea what I look like or anything). Although he definitely isn't as close to his family as I am with mine, they seem like sweet people. I've seen the funny birthday cards they send him and the adorable family photos and I've been in the room while he talks to his mom on the phone.
It's not an issue of cultural or religious differences either. His answer is always that his parents get excited about meeting his girlfriends and then they get really disappointed when he eventually ruins the relationship and they break up. I don't even know what that means? My BF has never once said that his parents were overbearing or like to guilt-trip him or anything like that.
Lately he keeps saying that he really wants me to meet his family, that his mom will love me, that we should meet up with his sister for lunch, etc. etc. But it never happens. I feel like he's saying things to appease me with no real intention of following through.
I know he loves me. We're talking about moving out of state together. But is it unreasonable that I don't want to move further in our relationship until I meet these people? I honestly can't tell if I'm blowing this out of proportion or if I'm justified in being hurt.
tl;dr: My boyfriend's family lives close to us and I've never met them, but he doesn't give a real reason why
We grabbed some of the most honest responses to share with you - some have been edited for clarity or language.
He Was Married
I dated a guy for nearly 2 years who had family living within blocks of my parents. At first I just assumed he was shy, or not close to his family and that's why he didn't want to do the meet the parents thing.
As time wore on, that red flag waved stronger...
Until, finally, by spying on his sister's FB, I realized the reason he didn't want to introduce me was it would have been awkward... he was married.
Get The Real Reason
After 2 years together, I would also be upset that my partner hadn't introduced me to his family, and honestly i think most people would be giving the side eye in your situation.
I think you need to talk to him, calmly, and ask for the real reason you haven't met his family yet. That they might be a bit miffed if you break up is not acceptable.
Explain that his decision is hurting you, and state that it is affecting your relationship.
Hey, so your situation is kind of similar to mine. I've been dating my bf for over two years, we're the same age and in college still. The friends that I've told about this do think it's weird, but I talked to him about it. Basically he's not as close to his family as I am, his parents are divorced and working, and basically have their own lives and new partners.
It used to bother me a lot since he would be at my house all the time, I introduced him to my family within the first month of dating. I've just come to the fact that this is how his relationship is with his family, where they all keep their lives separate. The thing is they text each other random stuff, but don't really spend time together. It's strange to me and all my friends because we come from nuclear families, but I've had to look at it from a different point of view.
Hope this helps and hope everything works out for you. Hopefully you and I will meet the in-laws before marriage happens! lol
Relationship Isn't In His Future
"...his parents get excited about meeting his girlfriends and then they get really disappointed when he eventually ruins the relationship and they break up."
Let me offer you my experience. I have anxiety around my parents meeting my partners because, to me, it felt like failure when those first few relationships broke up and my parents were disappointed. So, eventually, I didn't tell my parents about relationships I was 90% sure were going to end. They knew I was dating someone, but I would never introduce them, never talk about them, never even consider bringing a boyfriend around. It wasn't worth the stress to me.
Now, I have a boyfriend I'm happy to bring to my parents, or weekend with with sisters, and make future plans with. Because I see a future with him, and him with me. This might not be your experience, but if I were in your boyfriend's position, the only reason after 2 years to not introduce you would be because this relationship wasn't in my future.
Future Wife Isn't You
It sounds to me like at this point, the next girlfriend that your boyfriend wants to introduce to the family is his future wife. And that he doesn't see you as that person. Not sure if he will come to in time or not, not sure if that's what you want. But that's my take, and I think it's worthwhile asking him those questions.
Soap Opera Family
To be honest, none of my girlfriends ever met my parents, except for the first. Because I am ashamed of my soap opera family. I still attend their family gatherings and visit them, because I like my mum.
The first time I introduced a girlfriend to my family at Christmas Eve dinner, my step dad and uncle, after two glasses of wine, proceeded to call her a fat cow, making jokes about her weight (she wasn't even overweight in anyway.)
She stayed with us for a couple of days because we were long-distance at the time. When she went to take a shower, my stepdad went around the house to "check" whether she had opened the bathroom window to prevent the room from steaming up. Fking creep.
After that, never again.
If that's the case, he needs to just tell you the truth.
"Before We Die"
You mentioned in some responses that his parents were on the older side, like Dad was over 70. Honestly, his parents might also be putting a lot of pressure on him to "get married and have babies before we die" and having them meet you might only fan those flames and he doesn't want to put you or himself or your relationship through that. . .
Age And Experience
This might actually be a sign of your ages/experience. I've been through a few serious relationships at this point, and I now wait to introduce my boyfriends to parents because I don't want them to get attached in the event we breakup. I also don't want them to have any fantasies that I've found "the one" or that I'm getting married soon unless I've gotten to a point when I think that is a possibility. I'm also less eager to meet my SO's parents now, because I absolutely adored some of my exes' parents and was crushed when I realized I would never be a part of their families.
I think you should let him know how this makes you feel about your overall relationship, and tell him that you don't feel comfortable moving out of state with someone whose family you haven't met yet. If this is important to you and he doesn't step up, then you may want to hold off moving out of state together.
You're Not The One
It's simple, he's not sure you're the one. Doesn't want to introduce to his family until he is sure- but you said you don't even want to marry him. So I wouldn't place too much importance on this.
Mom Ruins Everything
My father's mother had a habit of ruining relationships for him. Example: he brought home a nice girl, but with a bit of a longish face.
His mother: "Do you have hobbies?"
Girl: "Horse riding."
Mother: "You can tell. You start looking like the animals that you are with."
The poor girl left crying and they broke up. When my father met my mother, he kept her away from his parents as much as he could.
What I'm trying to get across here is: he may have a valid reason to not introduce you. Some families are not tightly knit for a reason.
If you love something it's supposed to be forever right?
Well, if you're one of my regular readers, then you know better by now.
Gamer Growth<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxMjc5NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODY1MjUyNn0.LCdZuF69tUjDp_EeoDirNlRMO9TMBqf5vFxb11aQv4o/img.gif?width=980" id="bcc64" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ca5c03e094bc984bbd3359126d4ee6ad" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="459" data-height="620" />Video Games 80S GIFGiphy<p>Video games. </p><p>For most of the first 25 years of my life I loved games. And then one day I sort of just said "why?" </p><p>And have really touched any in the last 7 years and haven't had much of a desire to. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4tcpn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thesheep_1</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4tcpn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>As much as I enjoy video games...I find as I get older...I have less time for it. Other priorities take place and before I know it...not much free time.</p><p>It also doesn't help that gaming companies that I grew up with...are now corporate asshats and not the 'revolutionary' icons they once were (looking at you Blizzard)...the constant 'made for multiplayer online'...f*ck that shit. (looking at you Rockstar).</p>
7 or 8 Other Things<p>Playing guitar. </p><p>I've played for 20 years and for the first roughly 13 years I could sit and play pretty much all day every day. When I went back to college and started taking my education seriously I started losing interest. </p><p>I still pick it up and play but I haven't written any new music in well over a year and most of the time there are like 7 or 8 other things I prefer doing instead.</p><p> There were certain people that I collaborated with a lot and some of them still play music and some of them don't but I moved far away enough from them that collaboration wasn't as easy. They were all people I knew in Orange County, CA but then I moved to Los Angeles after college and now I live in Idaho. </p><p>There is this one guy in particular that I used to play music with the most. Him and I always kind of understood each others' visions for a piece of music pretty well and just generally really understood how the other approached writing music. </p><p>He still writes and records all of the time and he's considering moving out here. If he does I wouldn't be surprised if that ends up being the push to get me really into playing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4dqtg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tim_to_tourach</a></p>
Doodle Depression<p>Drawing. I loved to doodle and try and draw whatever popped into my head. Even tried learning new styles to try out but eventually that feeling just slowly died. Drew a few things from a tutorial video a few months back, but that's about it. Pretty depressing honestly.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4toaj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">staying_golden1</a></p><p>I used to love drawing and painting too, and aced AP art...but now I look at a blank piece of paper and have zero inspiration. It's sad.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp56g4c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">5leeplessinvancouver</a></p>
Happier As A Hobby<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxMzAyNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NTkyODk4MX0.NqAZGKUzeyNvYYFqY5h32ZwX6G8_nCpvrUqassfwhN0/img.gif?width=980" id="14cae" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e2689d2cc698153626ad28e3b2c491c9" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="400" />Nervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+Giphy<p>Sewing. </p><p>Loved it as a teen. Made my own grad dress, won an award and a scholarship for my skills. Tried it as a job and it just killed any and all desire for it. </p><p>It stopped being fun. It stopped being a creative outlet for me. </p><p>It's really sad, cuz I had skills. I've tried to pick it back up in recent years, but I just can't seem to care like I did back then.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4vl5q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">alabardios</a></p><p>Same with knitting for me, which I picked it up as a hobby. Parents realized that I could make useful stuff and tried to push me into selling it. I <em>never</em> want to turn this hobby into a job; it would kill off all the benefits of being a relaxing way to pass the time.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4z7dt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ladyoffate13</a></p><p>Are you me? Working in the fashion industry is such a goddamn soul suck. I'll probably never go back. I hoped to get my creative inspo back after a sabbatical but it's been almost 4 years since I quit my job and I've barely touched my sewing machine (except to make a handful of masks for a few close friends and family last year). </p><p>I hate when people find out I sew and ask me if I can make them something...</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5hylq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>
Reading Used To Be FUNdamental<p>I was an avid reader since kindergarden up till uni. After that life just got in the way and I never picked up any books for the past 10 years....?</p><p>Still reads to my kids tho. Just, I don't have the energy to read mine.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5cls6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shfaeman</a></p><p>As child, schoolboy, and student I used to absolutely devour books. I always had one in my pocket or bag.</p><p>From Dumas to Dickens I lived in those pages and had travels, adventure, and experiences that still remain clear and potent for me all this time later. When the demands of later adult life made this impossible I felt the loss keenly.</p><p>I found that an Audible account was the solution, I can fit books into the interstices of my day, and a good unabridged reading doesn't leave you feeling dissatisfied.</p><p>It'll never be the same as the the intense personal connection I had with books from my days as a true reader. But it suffices for these years until I can again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5eqai?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DrNecessiter</a></p>
Like Prostitution<p>Writing. I always thought it'd be a passion I'd have for life, but in the past year or two everything I've tried to write has been sh!t. </p><p>Slowly I've stopped even trying.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4oxed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Without_Mystery</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp4oxed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>"Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money. " -- Molière </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp555at?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tamsui_tosspot</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp555at?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I have been writing since I was seven, got a BA in English, and thought for sure I'd be a famous writer someday. </p><p>I very gradually wrote less and less over the years and now I am almost fifty and can barely muster inspiration to to churn out so much as a short poem. Looking back I tend to wonder if it was passion or if it just happened to be something I was good at that earned me praise and that validation is what fueled my motivation. </p><p>Now I don't care what people think of me so much so I just watch Netflix instead.😃</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp64j3t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AmyKeeBee</a></p>
All Of The Above<p>Everything here. </p><p>Playing guitar, writing, video games, I guess I just lost it all. </p><p>I'm not in my teens anymore when everything was so deep. I'm just going through the motions of life as a mid 30 year old. Working, and going home and repeat. </p><p>The friends have narrowed down to about 1, the job is tolerable at best. I'm drunk now so that's why I'm spilling. I can't find something that gives me that spark but I'm hopeful for the future.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp56130?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Omegawolf83</a></p><p>Dude aside from the drunk part and hopeful about the future. Are you me?!??!?!😲</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp56130?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Like for real, I lost interest in writing first, then gaming, have one good friend, work then home, mid 30's... duuuude. And to be honest, losing interest in so much stuff, has had me question if I'm secretly depressed, and just don't know it or what?</p><p><span></span>-<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp691ww?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> LurkingAintEasy</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp691ww?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>It's been years since I legitimately looked forward to anything or enjoyed something for any decent period of time.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5224v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Linchey1</a></p>
Hostile Hostels<p>Staying in hostels. </p><p>I still love travelling and meeting people, but I just can't do the hostel life anymore. I'd much rather have a nice, private bedroom and my own bathroom.</p><p>Part of me still dreams about just saving up some money and doing it all over again, but I know I'd be switching to hotels in about 2 days lol</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp50yh4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ObjectivePassenger9</a></p><p>This. I loved it when I was 22 and could meet people and hang out with them, It was a great way to meet interesting people, make fun memories, and see a new city. </p><p>But now? F*ck no. </p><p>If I stay in a hostel now, I have to have a private room and bathroom because I am not f*cking around with other people.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp56w24?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FreddieGregg</a></p>
SCUBA Men<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxMzUxMC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3MDIxMTU0Mn0.zSPRheHDiYwiAdCk9Edsfg8Q_pmmwoJaWuQdBX053wg/img.gif?width=980" id="ac33d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6b3ab59b62d0c3646b51e77406dc76c1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="470" data-height="264" />Under Water Swimming GIF by Outside TVGiphy<p>I fell out of love with SCUBA.</p><p><span>Firstly I live in England so the waters are somewhat different to the Red Sea. </span></p><p><span>But when I did do SCUBA, either in England or abroad, I realized a large part of SCUBA is spending time on boats with middle aged men with marital problems who still, <span>nonetheless</span>, need to keep reminding me that they are better than me. </span></p><p><span>Hence the marital problems, I'm sure.</span></p><p>I always thought it should be an easier and more pleasant experience.</p><p>I'm a casual, by the way. I really don't have the inclination to get up early on a Sunday and look at 4 non-descript fish in the English Channel (which I've done, by the way.) </p><p>Plus I'm not very good at bragging so this excludes me from 95% of on boat conversations.</p><p><span></span><span>I would, however, like to rock up to Jordan or the <span style="font-size: 14px;">Caribbean</span> and just say "Look I'm here for a week or so. Lets do 5 dives but I <span style="font-size: 14px;">haven't</span> done it for a while, so can we spend some time on the first dive working on my bouyancy?" </span></p><p><span>I've tried this a couple of times only to get to the dive shop to find out its being run by an English couple. And if there's one thing worse than a middle aged man with marital problems, its an expat middle aged man with marital problems.</span></p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lu5gek/what_did_you_think_youd_always_enjoy_doing_until/gp5c2xf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">random_username_94 </a></p>
Burgers, fries, peanut butter. Apple pie, hot dogs, cheesesteaks. American food is a big part of our daily lives, but it's not normal for everybody around the globe.
When was the first time you tried sushi? Or the first time you had curry? Have you even been able to try escargot? The world is full of so many fascinating foods, and some of those foods are American--especially to non-Americans.
A Little South In Your Mouth<p>Proper Jambalaya from Louisiana</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Heiminator/" target="_blank">Heiminator</a></p><p>Gumbo, jambalaya, and a real authentic muffaletta should be your top three. A GOOD shrimp po boy is a good one to add to the list as well.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DocHoss/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">DocHoss</a></p>
The List Goes On And On<p>I really want to have some American pancakes with the bacon and maple syrup! I just recently discovered iHop is a pancake restaurant!!!! A restaurant......for pancakes?!!</p><p>Oh and a hotdog from New York street vendor with "everything".....whatever everything is and then a pretzel for later.</p><p>Some runners up that I'd like to try: twinkies, egg nog, Mac and cheese, a full thanksgiving dinner experience, key lime pie, pumpkin pie, Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Mountain Dew</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/surebegrandlike/" target="_blank">surebegrandlike</a></p>
A Nommy Dessert<p>Pumpkin pie. I don't think I'd like it, but I'd like to try it.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Gooner1798/" target="_blank">Gooner1798</a></p><p>It's my favorite pie! It has a pretty great flavor, just sweet enough with a nice soft texture. You absolutely have to put a dollop of whipped cream on top before eating though.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/abe_the_babe_/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">abe_the_babe_</a></p>
Variations On A Theme<p>A Philly cheesesteak.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FairyBread10/" target="_blank">FairyBread10</a></p><p>Trust me, they are NOT all made alike</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Maximum-Recover625/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Maximum-Recover625</a></p><p>Word. As someone who lives in Philly, it's amazing to see what ends up being considered a "Philly Cheesesteak" on menus around the country lol. Even here in Philly we gatekeep what a legit cheesesteak is lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MikeyMortadella/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MikeyMortadella</a></p>
A Smoky Lil Treat<p>Texas BBQ</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/gurren975/" target="_blank">gurren975</a></p><p>Smoked brisket is insanely good when done well. I've just started smoking my own during covid (because why not?) and it is so yummy! Brisket Mac n Cheese was seriously unhealthy but phenomenal..</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Punkinsmom/" target="_blank">Punkinsmom</a></p>
Uniquely Artery Clogging<p>Corndogs. I have never seen it in my country. I never got the chance to eat it when I was in the USA. So I really would like to try it. </p><p>Specially since I saw an episode of GMM where Rhett talks about how much he loves corndogs.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/badthoughts87/" target="_blank">badthoughts87</a></p>
Combo Plate<p>One of those whole hog bbq pulled pork and slaw burgers</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SmashYaGash/" target="_blank">SmashYaGash</a></p><p>Yeah, that's definitely an eastern North Carolina meal.</p><p>Western NC does smoked pork shoulders (or Boston butts as some call them). Eastern NC is where the whole hog comes from - historically speaking, it's the oldest style of regional barbecue in the country, beating out the colonization of Texas by almost a century.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/LongPorkJones/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">LongPorkJones</a></p>
They're After Me American Cereals<p>I was literally Googling American sugary cereals last night, making my mouth water. </p><p>All these amazing things my husband and I would love to try - Reese's Puffs, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch... What are they?! Must.... Taste.....!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ArtNorvelle/" target="_blank">ArtNorvelle</a></p>
Expanding On Fritos<p>I had Fritos once. OMG we have no equivalent. I don't know if they are illegal here or what but I could sense instant attraction pure nommynom.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/qarrmeh/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">qarrmeh</a></p><p>Three words: Frito. Chili. Pie. It's just three basic ingredients: Bag of Fritos corn chips, a can of Hormel chili (or equivalent of homemade chili, which is better), and shredded cheddar cheese. Mix, bake at 350ºF for like 20 minutes or until everything is hot and the cheese has melted, serve. Top with salsa if you'd like.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PatrickRsGhost/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">PatrickRsGhost</a></p>
Corn In A New Way<p>Grits.</p><p>I've heard it mentioned in movies for years, and I've always wanted to try it.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Fred_Perry/" target="_blank">Fred_Perry</a></p><p>Be aware that there are two distinct factions of grits:</p><p>Grits with butter, pepper, salt, and maybe cheese.</p><p>Grits with butter, brown sugar, and maybe honey or syrup.</p><p>If you go into it expecting one, but get the other, you'll be surprised. People will fight over which is better or 'the right way', despite the fact that they're both delicious. Personally, I mix it up, with butter, pepper, sugar, and honey. That way I'm always an outcast, but at least I have good food.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MedusasSexyLegHair/" target="_blank">MedusasSexyLegHair</a></p>
Unfortunately, it's no secret that people are becoming the victims of human trafficking all around us.
Every country, city, town, and region can be the site of abduction, where a vulnerable person is groomed to be free labor or the victim of predatory sex
Missing Things<p>"I had a loved one pulled into the sex trafficking industry as an adult. So, I can offer a couple pointers for spotting adults who are being sold as sex workers."</p><ol><li>"Missing shoes. It's hard to run away in a city barefoot. Blisters are a dead giveaway."</li><li>"Not carrying a cell phone, identification, or the purse or wallet to put it in. Their pimp likes to hold these hostage to prohibit contact with the outside world and to make it difficult to purchase long distance transportation."</li></ol><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gomxb1t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LoneQuietus81</a></p>
Trust Yourself<p>"I worked as front desk for a hotel, had a couple of experiences with this."</p><p>"Look for groups of 2-3 where one person does all of the talking, specifically when the other(s) look scared, are overly covered, cringe when the talker is speaking, or look under the influence of something."</p><p>"Ensure you get ID from all parties when you suspect something is going on, note down their room number and names given, trust your gut, what we call a 'gut feeling' is a combination of millions of tiny factors you might not knowingly be aware of, tiny details like hitched breathing, microexpressions, specific lying tells, environmental factors, etc."</p><p>"These all add up and let your subconscious mind make connections that your general mind might not. Trust that feeling if you suspect something is wrong, and contact the police to inform them of a suspected human trafficking issue."</p><p>"Both times my gut told me to call it in I ended up regrettably being correct."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gommblj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tsavong117</a></p>
Memorized Lines<p>"Where I live, human trafficking is a big problem and there was a huge bust at a hotel not too long ago."</p><p>"Usually hotels, motels, and airlines are trained to look out for signs of trafficking. Red flags include those who are very scared or nervous around specific people or talk like their following a script."</p><p>"Those who are targeted usually come from broken homes or poor countries with the promise of a better life or how all of their problems can be solved by doing X. It can also include being showered with expensive or luxury gifts as a start of the luring in process."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gom77wi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kevin-W</a></p>
Prevention<p>"Here in Spain we get a lot of women from eastern Europe and sub saharan Africa, some pay for their trip to europe this way, some are blackmailed and some are lured offers of jobs like cleaning, or low level administrative jobs (secretaries, paper pushing) and end up on in a roadside brothel."</p><p>"If you´re a young woman in a poor area of eastern europe and you get a offer for a easy job in germany, france, spain or the netherlands. be VERY suspicious."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/golqok8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aevum1</a></p>
Litmus Test<p>"My sociology professor told us if we ever see a child at a motel/hotel , make sure to say hi to them , and you can pretty well judge by their reaction if they're safe or not"</p><p>"also it's a bit harder to do as a man"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gom5b4a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ok_Act_1214</a></p>
The Thine Line Between Slavery and Labor<p>"Most of human trafficking is not the movie kind. It's more the kind where an ethnic restaurant brings over a cook from their home country and they have to work unreasonable hours to pay back for the trip."</p><p>"Or maybe it's a maid or a construction worker who works below minimum wage and can't have their passport back."</p><p>"So look for people who work long hours at sub-legal wages."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/golbrvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Pontus_Pilates</a></p>
Nifty, and Significant<p>"There's an app you can download called TraffickCam."</p><p>"Any time you stay at a hotel, upload photos of your room. Those photos are incorporated into an artificial intelligence algorithm that helps identify locations of trafficking victims via background details."</p><p><span></span>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lreopg/people_who_help_fight_human_trafficking_what_are/gomc6g8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">m31td0wn</a></p>
The rule of thumb when eating fast food is very simple: put on the blinders, enjoy the meal, and try not to do it too often.
But what if you work in the kitchen?
In that case, there's simply no escaping a complete understanding of the several horrors that each assembled burger or french fry encounters on its way to that front counter.