Parents are always telling their children not to lie, so parents always tell the truth, right? Wrong! Sometimes parents tell a little white lie to get kids to behave. Sometimes they tell a whopper for other reasons. Here are some of the best lies parents have told.
50. The Usual Half-Truths...
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- The ends don't justify the means
- It doesn't matter what other people think of you
- Money can't buy happiness REDDIT
49. Betrayal!
"When the ice cream truck plays that music, it means it's out of ice cream." - "The Internet shuts at 6pm." "I know when you're lying!" REDDIT
48. Is this Dynasty?
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That the man at the family gathering was a family friend when it turns out to be your dad and you never got to meet him again. _yellow_ledbetter
47. Don't talk about my peeps...
That today's generation is a bunch of lazy, entitled degenerates. Seems odd that my generation is inventing, innovating and building more than any previous generation. Also, media only makes it seem like this generation sucks... most of my father's generation was raised on believing what the news told them. Well, thanks to the Internet (reddit, specifically) most of us know that the media is 99% biased crap. Esmeraldem
46. Higher Learning...
That education costs.
With the cost of college and schools varying so much depending on where you live and the variations in social classes you get set up to have no opportunities in certain areas. You don't get to pick from everything most of the time. You get to have what's available to you. I wish I had understood that better instead of being given false hope and naivety about how the world works. REDDIT
45. A Lie is a Lie!
A lot of parents, or all parents? Don't know about all parents, but a lot of them lie about intelligent design. charleston_guy
A lie is knowing something is not factual and saying it anyway. If a parent believes in intelligent design and teaches their child that, it isn't a lie. They may be incorrect, but that is different. I_Like_Nerds
44. You can still be nice...
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That if you do good, good things will happen to you in return. Nope, the world screws you whether you want it or not. pyroSeven
43. Sorry Mom. You talk.
"You can tell me everything."
No, I can't mom, because you're not mentally stable enough to handle someone's pain. Syr_Enigma
42. No Stalker for you!
Be/do good because Jesus is watching.
Instead of...
Be/do good because you shouldn't have to rely on someone else to hold you accountable for being a good person. sbstnh
41. You just gotta find the right ones...
That Drugs are bad, Drugs are fun! notosnow
"All it takes is one cigarette to get you hooked." Tried a cigarette once. Tasted like crap and made me nauseous. Never again, so there's that.
"Marijuana is a gateway drug." Been smoking consistently for about a year and half now, still waiting for that urge to try heroin. Hasn't happened yet. REDDIT
39. Surprise!
"You were planned." koklar
I'm pretty sure my parents claimed to get married almost a year before they actually did whenever I asked because of this. REDDIT
38. That Sounds Unsafe!
An angel dropped me into their lap. REDDIT
Well, technically, a fallen angel is still an angel. 😇 Ahavah
36. Just say Abstinence.
Oh, and "Your father and I were virgins when we married." Not only was this hard to live up to but totally messed up the line, "You can talk to me about anything." Uhh noooo mom I can't, even though you lied.
34. Ka-Ching!
You can do anything you want in life.
Truth : If you don't have enough money, you are restricted to limitations. Qualkore0 points·
33. It could happen.
Unequivocally it is that God exist and that people go to heaven when they die. MagmaiKH
32. Be Great!
"It's alright if you didn't win/score/do something neat, you tried your best!" Dhrakyn
30. Big Little Lies
Teacher to my kindergarteners: IF we don't finish ___________, we'll have to stay here all night, and one from my parents to me after coming out: We don't think of you any differently.
29. Nothing is Free!
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Santa is going to bring you gifts/The tooth fairy will leave you $ for your tooth. only-the-lonely
28. Fido Forever!
I hate how parents try to lie and cover up pet deaths and stuff like... Santa cuz they're children's feelings will get hurt. No wonder we have so many feminists and SJWs that claim clapping triggers anxiety. PM_ME_STDS
27. Bless Us All...
Everything about religion... any religion. Dredly
26. Leafy Green Lies
My mother told me that spinach would make me strong like Popeye, and if I ate it I could lift the house.I would have a few spoonfuls and then she'd rush outside with me. I'd try and lift the house, squeezing my eyes shut with the effort. She'd go "It moved! It moved! Quick, eat some more!" and I'd run back inside and finish it off.
-- aza9999
25. Food Court
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Happy Meals are for poor kids who's parents can't buy them toys and they're sad.
If you touch your peepee without going potty, it'll fall off.
If you eat enough vegetables, your body makes them taste like candy.
If you don't wipe your butt properly, it'll close up and you'll have to spit out your poop.
If you don't color in the lines, you'll start losing color and only see in black and white.
If you pee in the pool, you'll get the girls pregnant and have to get a job.
If you don't wash your hands before you eat, your food will start to taste like poop.
We aren't French so you can't eat French fries from McDonalds.
Lucky Charms are for Leprechauns. If you eat too many you'll shrink and have to wear a green suit and have a red beard.
[username deleted]
24. Rock Garden
My dad said if I could look after a special growing rock, and watered it each day until it stopped growing I could get a dog. I'd water it and every week, while I was at school he'd replace it with a slightly bigger rock.
--AppleChiaki
23. The MusicMobile
I told both of my kids that the ice cream truck was the "music truck." It's purpose was to drive around and cheer up all the sad people.
--No_Filter217
22. Screaming For Ice Cream
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I did that too! Told that story yesterday after hearing one from a co-worker: she told her son, who is afraid of clowns, that ice cream trucks were driven by clowns. He heard that music and sprinted to his room. Evil genius of a parent.
[username deleted]
21. When Will Grandma Be Ripe?
My dad told me when I was really little that graveyards were people farms.
--yusuf69
20. I'll Have the Chicken Fish
We got our daughter to eat fish by calling it "Argentinian Chicken." That worked for a long time until grandma came along and messed it up. Thanks, Grandma.
--effthegreen
19. The Family That Scares Together
My dad always told me he was terrified of mice and rats so we couldn't go to Chuck E Cheese. I legitimately believed that until my cousin told me her dad (my dad's twin) had said the same thing.
My dad also told me there were monsters in our basement so I wouldn't go down the stairs and hurt myself. And one time, he paused saying goodnight to me and said "huh, thought I heard something in your closet. Oh well, night!"
He was awesome. I'm totally doing all those when I have kids.
--hometowngypsy
18. The No-No Button
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My dad always told me, that if I press a certain button on our remote control our tv would explode. As I grew older, I was curious and pressed said button only to see he saved adult channels on this one
--lisasavestheworld
17. Poor Kitties!
When we went to the store my mom used to tell, "Every time (you) touch something a kitten dies."
--iamnos
16. Groundhog Easter Day?
My father told me (and my Catholic cousin) that Easter was the day that Jesus rolled back the rock, and if he saw his shadow we'd have six more weeks of winter. My aunt was beyond pissed when my cousin broke that out at her first communion.
--sunnynorth
15. Calamari is What?!?
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My parents got me to eat calamari by telling me they were Italian onion rings.
--iamnos
14. Watermelon Whine
I was told swallowing watermelon seeds would grow in my stomach.
I had a very nerve-wracking couple of months waiting.
--bNoaht
13. Toilet Ball
My dad told me that if I swallowed chewing gum my poop would bounce up and down in the toilet.
I cried when I swallowed some gum.
--iamnos
12. By Invitation Only
Chuck E. Cheese is only for birthday parties. You have to be invited to one to go there.
--iamnos
11. In the Red
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…my dad used to tell me if the RPM gauge in his manual transmission car got into the red the car would explode.
I am guessing I talked too much in the car because after that I never wanted to ride with him.
--shredda1212
10. Better Save The Batteries!
They don't make batteries for that toy.
--iamnos
9. How Do You Get an Angry Meal?
I told my kids if they didn't behave in the drive-thru line they'd get a sad meal.
--iamnos
8. The Popsicle of Truth
My mom told me my tongue turned purple when I lied. One day she caught me in a blatant lie, right after a grape popsicle.
I ran to the mirror and began to apologize until I cried. Never lied again... until I realized it was baloney.
--jfqs6m
7. Santa Needs a Break
My dad used to tell me Santa was tired of cookies and milk, I'd get extra toys if I left Doritos and a drink. That went on for years...
--iamnos
6. Watch That Word Count!
People get 10,000 words per month. If you reach the limit you can't physically speak until the new month begins.
Anytime I was especially talkative, Dad would say, "Careful now, I have to think you are up over 9,000 by now." That would shut me right up.
--iamnos
5. Prepare for Takeoff
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My dad told me that pushing the seat recline button on an airplane helps the plane take off, and that if not enough people push it the plane would crash.
--iamnos
4. Orange You Glad?
My friends dad took it a step further. He says that one night his dad glued a small branch to his ear so when he woke up he thought an orange tree was growing out of his head. After seeing him crying for a while and after a few choice words from a disapproving mom his dad confessed and took the branch off. He said he was mad at his dad for like a week straight.
[username deleted]
2. Cat's Outta The Bag
Whenever I was having a tantrum in the supermarket as a small child my mum would go 'oh god! Did you see that kitten!? It just ran under that isle!!' And get all excited. Straight away I would stop having my tantrum and start looking for this kitten! Every time. For the rest of the trip I was so busy looking for the kitten and if I ever lost enthusiasm she would go 'oh look! There It went! I just saw it again!'
It took me longer than I would like to admit to realize that there's not a plague of kittens wandering around every shop in my home town.
On the plus side I now use this trick with my nephews and friends kids when they start having a tantrum in public. I have yet to see a kid that this doesn't work on.
--flaced
1. Seasonal Toys?
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My mom told me that companies only advertise bad products, because they have to trick people into buying their crap. It stopped me from begging for toys and also made me fairly immune to adds as an adult.
She also told me that certain toys, books, movies, and songs were 'seasonal' and you couldn't use or play them out of season. Which meant that she could rotate stuff every few months. Kept me more interested in my toys, and gave her a break.
[username deleted]
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...