Look, I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend a fair amount of my life grounded. Usually it was for totally BS stuff (which my parents now admit - they were WAY more strict on me than on either of my siblings and would often "ground" me from books or educational TV for seriously minor offenses in an attempt to force me to go outside... not the best tactic, but at least they can admit it.) There was once, though, that my grounding was deliciously deserved.
Middle school is the literal worst. Everyone is trying to figure themselves out, everyone is weird, nobody has any real maturity - it's a godforsaken Thunderdome out there. She - we won't name names - was terrible to me. She tormented me daily. I was too young, too short, too fat, had weird hair, etc.
I wasn't physically aggressive, but anyone who knows me will tell you I don't typically need to be. My words are - and have always been - cutting. I let her bully me through sixth grade and most of seventh without ever standing up for myself. Then one day she decided to stand behind me and crumple little bits of styrofoam beads into my hair. It took the whole day to get even half of them out of my very ethnic hair. It ruined the hairstyle my mother had carefully spent ages putting in. I got in trouble for it because my parents couldn't possibly believe that I didn't feel it and had nothing to do with it.
I stayed up late and wrote the girl a letter telling her everything I hated about her and how much I hoped she amounted to nothing. I went in. I told her about her big teeth, her crooked nose, the fact that she always smelled like food and feet, how her name was stupid, how her cousin (who she had a super deep familial rivalry with) was way prettier, smarter and nicer than she would ever be, etc.
This letter was PAGES long. I let our entire creative writing class read it before I gave it to her. She cried halfway through the first page but I cornered her and made her finish the whole thing, then when she was done and sobbing I stared her down and told her I hoped she got horse flu to match her horse face and to never come near me again.
Seventh grade savagery was real, folks.
She took the letter home and showed it to her parents, who honestly believed she was an angel and I was just some hateful sociopath. It took a conference with 4 teachers, my parents, her parents and our school bus driver for people to understand that this didn't come from nowhere.
I got SUPER grounded, of course, because I said some things I'm very not proud of and that rightfully horrified all the adults involved. She transferred classes, then left the school. I hadn't considered that letting everyone else read it would turn the tables and she would go from a major bully to the most bullied and mocked girl in the school. Or maybe I had and I figured it was just karma?
Who knows. Either way, I remember not regretting a single moment of my grounding. At all. I was forced to be outside (my least favorite thing ever, to this day) but I was a legend that summer. It was glorious. And that's the story of how I read a girl to filth so badly that she disappeared.
Reddit user I_feel_like_death asked:
What have you done that your parents punished you for, but it was totally worth the punishment?
Honestly, this thread was all kinds of magic, you guys. There may not be any real justice - but there is so much satisfaction.
Consequences!
One time, my younger brother told our mom I hit him. Just walked into my room and started screaming about me hitting him.
I hadn't even looked at him.
So of course, mom comes in, won't hear me AT ALL, and immediately grounds me. My younger brother has this grin on his face.
And I thought, "F--- it...I'm already getting punished for hitting him."
So mom's like, "You're grounded for hitting your brother."
I turned to him, and punched him as hard as I could in his sternum. He DROPPED.
Then I go, "Alright. I'm grounded." And walk away.
Oddly enough, mom didn't say anything at that point. I like to think she realized what was up.
Bonus: My brother never pulled that again.
Consequences!
GlueStick
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My grandpa was searching for chapstick all around the house and I ran up to him, handing him a glue stick. I thought he'd realize and laugh. He didn't realize. Not intended, but totally worth the grounding.
The Pants Incident
My friend had pantsed (pulling down someone's pants unexpectedly to reveal their underwear) me the day before and I was itching for the opportunity to get back at him. We had just finished PE class and were lining up for an assembly. He was wearing shorts, so it was the perfect moment.
I snuck up behind him and with one fluid motion pantsed him in front of everyone. I would say it was one of my best pantsings of all time, or at least in the top 10. He was thoroughly embarrassed, but that was the extent of it. I just did to him exactly what he did to me. This was just a weird thing we did in Junior High.
My gym teacher (who notoriously had it out for me the whole year) noticed all the commotion and asked what was going on.
Some kid piped up and snitched on me. She immediately told me to go to the principals office. "That's sexual harrassment.", she said. That was the first time I had even heard those words uttered. I had to go to the principle's office and explain what happened. They called my parents and slapped me with a 3 day suspension.
I came home and my parents were waiting for me in the living room. My dad was strict as hell, and I was constantly frightened of him. I sat down across from him (on the farthest seat across from him no less). He just stared at me, for what felt like hours, with his eyes burning black like the fires of hell. I was terrified.
"Stand up!" he then ordered. I had no idea what he was going to do. And then...he walked up...and in one fluid motion pantsed the living sh*t out of me. "YOU LIKE PULLING PEOPLE'S PANTS DOWN!? I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!!"
I burst into tears, with my pants hanging down by my ankles, in total embarrassment and humility. Talk about giving someone a taste of their own medicine.
The Concert In DC
I flew to Washington DC with some friends to see a concert. I told my parents I was at my friends for the weekend. I almost got away with it too, but I left my phone at the concert venue and someone was "nice enough" to look into it and dial the home number and let my parents know they found my phone in DC. This was back in the day when it was basically a flip phone so I would have preferred he stole it. Grounded for about 3 months, no phone, no computer, no tv.
I went to great lengths to hide the trip from my parents too. I switched my debit card to paperless (my dad was a snoop) The flight was really early in the morning, so for a week ahead of time I went to school early everyday and told my parents that I had a study group before class, so it wouldn't seem odd that I was leaving so early that one day. I hid my car in a college parking lot. All to be ruined by some guy trying to do a good thing.
They weren't worried at all. They were pissed lol I had talked to them a few times during that weekend. They were very protective, especially since I'm a girl, so I always "checked in." They were able to get a hold of me right away because I was with the same friend who they thought I was at her house. She answered the phone and acted like I had just left her house, we were at the DC airport on the way home. My dad replied "I know you're in DC, give my daughter the phone."
I saw the immediate fear in my friend's face. I was the one who was scared sh*tless. lol
Good thing that came out of this though, they started loosening up. They saw that I could take care of myself and started to let me travel/roadtrip with my friends as long as I told them first.
Croquet And The Bloody Nose
At my 11th birthday party, my step sisters son (who was also 11) hit me in the back if the head with a croquet ball. On purpose. Once I stopped crying, I punched him in the face hard enough to bloody his nose. My mom spanked me for it. No regrets. He was a mean little sh*t who was always doing stuff then blaming it on me. After I fought back, he pretty much left me alone. And no, he didn't get in trouble for hitting me with the ball.
- katgib13
Gmail
Changed my dad's gmail name to "d*ckface" He couldn't change it back for months. I'm sure doing business was nearly impossible, but it was hilarious.
I was banned from all computers for a year and never allowed the Netflix password (It's not stopping me, by the way.)
The Best Start
My mom was always very strict about my curfew. When a girl from work asked me out for ice cream after the late shift I couldn't refuse. I called my mom told her I was going on a date and I would be home later. She wasn't very happy but I went anyway. That date was the start of one of my best relationships.
Shoplifting
I had a, fortunately short-lived, shoplifting phase when I was 8. I would often steal gum and candy from stores and got away with it for weeks. It came to an end when I got cocky and tried shoving a giant bag of gummies in my pocket.
A man caught me, and he looked me with a concerned face, asking "Are you really going to do that?" He didn't seem like he was going to snitch on me, but he didn't need to.
He scared me so much that I put it back and my mom caught me pulling it out of my pockets. She finally realized why I kept having candy when before she accused my grandma of buying me excessive candy in secret.
I was not allowed to watch TV, play video games, nor go to any friend's house for a month.
I learned to never steal again. It was worth it in that the lesson I learned was valuable.
The Candy Scheme
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Candy.
My brother and I were very smart kids. (He still is, I've settled around average.) We came up with a plan to get candy, so much candy. I think we were around 10 at this point.
Our parents would habitually go grocery shopping, and they would take us with them. We were both quite well behaved, and polite, so it wasn't a big deal to bring us along.
Dad usually beelines for the butcher section, while Mom putters around the produce. Dad would pick up something, and hand it to one of us. "Go put this in the cart." This was a weekly thing. (Can you see where this is going?)
My brother and I realize that Mom doesn't question when we put things in on Dad's request. Dad doesn't questions things on the conveyor belt, because Mom must have okayed it.
We got so much candy.
Remember Baby Bottle Pops?
We had, like, 2 packages of them. Gushers. Gummy bears. Chocolate bars. Caramels. Those dip sticks that you lick and stick in powder that changes the colour of your tongue and has the consistency of chalk.
Oh God, it was glorious.
We get in the car, giddy to go home. Mom grumpily says to Dad: "I can't believe you let them buy that much candy."
Dad: "Me? You let them get it!"
There was a pregnant pause as they both turned around in their seats and looked at us.
"Guys. Seriously?"
So we didn't get the candy.They didn't return it, though.
We were grounded for a month, and everything we brought to the shopping cart was now scrutinized.
But it so worth it because about 6 months later we got to eat the candy. Now that we're adults, my Dad still thinks that was one of the most clever things we've ever done.
- Dante_
Laundry
I let a friend do 4 loads of laundry in our basement while my parents weren't home because her family's washer and drier broke and they had 5 kids and no clean clothes. I didn't want my best friend to have to go to school in dirty clothes when I could help her.
My family was not poor by any means and we do laundry constantly so I didn't think there would be any problem with it. We had already finished and just folding the last load of clothes and putting it into her hamper bag when my parents got home.
They waited until she left to yell at me and then 'grounded' me, taking the door off of my room and removing all the 'fun' stuff from my room (books, art supplies, ect) and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere but school for 3 months. My parents are borderline narcissist, this wasn't an unusual punishment or behavior for them. This was just one time where there was a clear reason for their bullshit
They were being selfish assholes and I continued to help my friend do laundry, we just made sure to limit it to 2 loads and made sure she was gone before they were home. Helping her was worth it.
I'd Do It Again
My mom was drunk when my 8 year old little sister told her that she wanted to do some acting in a school play. My sister was notoriously shy and my f*cking mother sat there and told an eight year old that "I don't think you can do it, you're too nervous."
I lost my shit (I was fifteen), all I said was "I can't believe you just told your daughter you don't believe in her!" I got grounded and I'd do it again every day.
Defending Mom's Honor
Aunt of mine on my dad's side used to bully my mother a lot, very condescending and belittling so much so that I recognized this as a young child. My dad would put a stop to it when he was around but he worked a lot... one day this aunt was in the kitchen on the phone and I burst in, wearing full plastic armor, helmet, shield and sword - and stabbed her right in the ass.
She was heavily overweight and I managing to really jam it in there for full effect; bending the sword just above the handle and I believe I managed a slight ass punch too.
She jumped up a remarkable height considering her bulk and let out a Wilhelm scream to rival any.
I was punished, grounded, scolded and told to apologize. But after she left I wasn't grounded and I heard my parents laughing about it when I was in bed.
My aunt is a much nicer person now (she still fears me) but she really was a horrible person back then, bitter and cruel. My mother was never good enough, despite raising 4 kids vs 0 by my aunt and living far away from her own siblings. I think my dad put her straight and told her don't come back until you've sorted your shit out. Worth it.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.