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People Divulge How Their Innocent Google Searches Yielded NSFW Results

In the days before Safesearch, every google search was kind of a gamble.

But these days, we still have a little surprise here and there to deal with. Sometimes your search for "tornadoes" shows up breasts. Nobody is really sure why, but, it does.

And those times are always the worst times to do it--when someone is standing over your shoulder, usually.

u/Saraieth asked:

What is an innocent sounding Google search that returns not so innocent results?

Here were some of those answers.

That's No Wand

Halloween is coming, needed an accessory for little girls 'good witch' costume. Did an image search for a magic wand. Seems most of them have to be plugged in.

StarGehzer

Not A Poster

Back in high school I googled "motivational poster." This was in the school library, so safe search was preset to strict and everything.

3rd image was straight up porn. I think google's gotten smarter about it now, but 10 years ago that kind of ish would slip through all the time.

Sharptoe1

A New Kind Of Coding

If you're in the mindset of trying to format mathematical expressions in an image using open source software, latex gimp.

And std list when you're trying to find documentation on the C++ standard library list data structure

waterhoes

And I OOP

Black holes. In 9th grade we learned about space in science class and we each had to do a presentation on certain space related topics. Our teacher specifically told the student that was researching black holes to be careful what he clicked on when he went online.

Meganthefallen

Walked Right Into This

One time in my science class a long time ago, we were studying minerals and the teacher said to google cleavage. it did not return mineral cleavage.

GravityInspector

Woody The Woodpecker

Oh man. Once I went looking for these awesome toys I had as a kid on Google. Big mistake.

When we were good in class, we could earn a reward of a toy from this little bag of cheap plastic toys my teacher had. Well, at some point she found these really cool little plastic woodpeckers that could slip over the end of your pencil and as you wrote, they would bounce on a tiny spring, as if they were pecking the wood of the pencil. Really neat.

So I remembered one day and I went to Google to see if I could find them and searched under their name, "pencil peckers."

Big mistake.

geeltulpen

Double Meanings

My mom once stated that cheetahs and cougars were the same animal.

I searched pictures of cheetahs with no problem.

We had to have a talk after searching for cougars.

BDT81

The Wrong Denotation

At one point in my life, my favorite song was Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin. I had it stuck in my head, and couldn't remember how it went. So I googled it.

The kind of songs I used to listen to, being the emo little jerk that I was, were usually really ridiculous titles that you didn't have to put in the name of the artist with, or even specify that you wanted lyrics, and that's what I got used to. Just searching the song title.

It has since been changed, but do you know what the first thing that came up was when I searched 'Evil Angel'?

A link to a hardcore porn website called Evil Angel.

HidingWhoIAm5683

The Last Thing You Want To See

I specialise in animal behavioural ecology and I focus on large carnivores. When I began specialising in this subject (so this began with doing my Masters research years ago) I would look up images of the species I was studying for powerpoint presentations. I would often put the word art in when it came to extinct species. With that being said, I was absolutely unaware on how prevalent furry art is.

suchascenicworld

What Kind Of Stoves?

One of the loan officers at the bank I work for was just telling me this story, actually. He was chatting with a customer about Longfellow stoves, and they were wondering if they were still in business. He pulls up the first site he sees, and manages to trigger every alarm system set up on the computer system.

diagonalannouncer

google

People Describe The Most Traumatizing Thing They Ever Experienced As A Child

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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childhood

People Divulge The Real Reason Why They're Still Single

Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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being single

Chefs Divulge The Most Important Tips That Amateur Cooks Need To Know

Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

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cooking

People Describe The Most Inappropriate Thing They Ever Did As A Kid

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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