The Most Embarrassing Things People Have Ever Googled
Reddit user b-secret asked: 'what is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?'
I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.
My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.
Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.
Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.
So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?
Well...
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?
People Divulge The Most Unsettling Data They Discovered That Google Stored About Them
"Big Brother is watching you..."
The famous words from George Orwell's dystopian novel 1984, which tells the story of a world governed by omnipresent surveillance.
Today, however, many people are under increased paranoia that their every step is being monitored by the government, or by the world's largest corporations.
Not helping their fears, is when people look back on information collected by their Google data, and see that virtually every step they've taken has been documented.
Even things some people might not remember doing themselves.
"People who downloaded their Google data and went through it, what were the most unsettling things you found out they had stored about you?"
Followed My Every Step...
"That there is a map of everywhere I went in the last couple of years that's accurate to the hour."- Crank05
Context Is Everything...
"There's an audio recording of me saying 'check the Jewish boy's penis',"
"I don't remember ever saying that but ok."- MrPingeee
They Don't Always Get It Right...
"I'm the vice-president of a company that I've never heard of, and can't find any other info on it."- leavingdirtyashes
"Apparently I sleepwalk thousands of kilometers and then manage to get back home in time for work."
"Also a bunch of recordings of my computer's fan spinning."
"Ah, Google."
"Hyped up Google."
"Incompetent Google. "
"I know my data is in good hands."- Carkudo
Black And White Cartoon GIFGiphyYou Can't Erase Everything...
"If you use Google Photos and allow Maps to track your location:"
"I took photos that I didn't like, deleted them."
"Weeks later I am just browsing my timeline in Google Maps and those deleted photos are there, tagged to the location."
"Nothing incriminating, just thought you should know that a delete isn't a delete."- kinobe
They Don't Miss A Thing...
"It's not unsettling but I found out that Google can tell when I'm driving a car vs my motorcycle by using the gyroscopes in my phone."- Xtremegulp
It's Not Just Google
"It wasn’t google data that shocked me, I am kind of expecting it to know everything about me."
"This came from instagram."
"My period was very late, so naturally, I told my husband in our very private and quiet home setting, and bought a Clearblue pregnancy test."
"We don’t own tv, Amazon Alexa , google voice or similar."
"I just have reddit and Instagram on my smartphone."
"My period was just late, but the very next day I got bombarded by ads on Instagram about Clearblue and other pregnancy sticks and some other baby sh*t."
"There is no way that it was a coincidence since it was the second time getting a very, very specific ad."
"So the app is listening, and showing me ads accordingly."- lagattaca
Blood Celebrate GIF by Halfsquare DesignsGiphySelective Storage
"Recordings of conversations with my boss over two years."
"I don't know why it only had recordings of us talking and no one else."- FiveOhFive91
Careful What You Say...
"Definitely the voice recordings."
"That should be turned off by default instead of needing to be changed by the user."- mahoujosei100
They Waste No Time...
"All phone activity, opened app, closed app etc, from the very first day I owned my phone, constant check of my GPS, constant check of my device orientation."
"If someone steals your google account, they basically can found out everything there is to find out about you."- linecraftman
Who Dis Star Wars GIF by LEGOGiphyIt is helpful to have an online cloud to store things, saving you paper and stress of remembering where you put it.
What's a bit frightening is that Google and other services are starting to get one step ahead of us when it comes to what they document.
Leaving one to wonder if Big Brother is, in fact, watching us…
Listen to your doctors.
Reddit user squishy0930 wanted to hear which patients think they knew more when they asked:
"Doctors of Reddit, what was the dumbest 'I read on the internet...' moment you had with a patient?"
Really.
Why would drinking urine be the be-all health savior?
Because It's Sterile And She Likes The Taste?
"When I was a medical student I met a woman who was heavily interested in homeopathy and natural healing, who started drinking her own urine. You can often drink small amounts with no issue, but she was drinking only urine. Urine has a high salt concentration, and she ended up dehydrated with an acute kidney injury."
At Least They're Honest?
"Not a doctor, but work at a doctors office. One of our patients said "I do my own research. I know more than the doctor!"
Garlic Infused...Nevermind.
"Not a doc (nurse) but my doctor friend who works in the ER had a patient with a few garlic cloves stuck deep in her vagina because she had read on the internet it helps with certain infections and yeast. (I realize garlic does have antibacterial properties but needs to be used appropriately and with caution)"
Can You Hear This? Why Are You Wasting My Time?
"Recently. 5 year old boy brought in by mum with a sore ear. Diagnosed with an ear (otitis media) infection, given backpocket antibiotics to start if getting worse or ongoing in another 36 hours (as they often go away on their own)."
"Mum declined, is going to take the kid to a naturopath for treatment instead."
"Unlikely to have a poor outcome (but still possible), but why the f-ck did you come and see me?"
Topical Misunderstanding
"As a general surgery resident on the colorectal surgery service, we do a lot of hemorrhoids, anal fissures, etc. One of my colleagues prescribed a cream for a middle-aged woman and she later called back and asked if the cream would still work while she was on vacation in Hawaii. Uh, yes it will, why? She replied, 'Bc I was told to apply it locally.'”
– TypeADissection
Misunderstanding medical facts are more widespread thanks to the equally quick widespread media we all consume. Odds are the information in a movie or television show is stretched past truth to make the story more interesting.
YEEEEEEEEE-aaaaaahhhhhh?
"I regularly have to explain to junior detectives and families that an autopsy does not function as it does on CSI and I can't just speculate wildly about the sex, height, hand dominance and motive of a murderer except in very specific instances."
"But I don't blame them, I blame f-cking CSI."
Lack Of Trust Right Up Until Death
"My father saw a patient who was convinced that hospitals were a sham. She had cancer. She winds up on chemo for a bit but very quickly tells my father she isn't going to be taking her medication anymore because "she knows when she's being scammed" and the side effects of her medication were "proof". Apparently, the chemo my father was prescribing was a ploy by Big Pharma. Apparently, that was what was actually causing the "cancer" in the first place."
"Well, she decides to go off her medication for a bit and starts feeling better as no chemo = no side effects from chemo. She takes this as further proof that hospitals are a sham and starts blogging about it. Posting online about how she's living proof that hospitals are fraudulent and telling people to stop buying Big Pharma's lies."
"She was then sent back to my father, via ambulance, sometime later. The test results were back and, surprise surprise, stage four cancer. She died in the hospital later that week."
We Push Medicine Because Otherwise People Die
"You'd be amazed at how many people tell me (type 1 diabetic) that I could could get out from big pharma and my dependency on insulin if I just eat right..."
"I'm skinny and otherwise healthy. Type 1 is an immunodeficiency that must always take insulin due to the pancreas no longer creating any on its own..."
"These conversations are often met with a blank stare by me."
"One of my senior collegues explained to the press that of course he was a shill for big pharma. All his 500 patients with T1 would be dead in a week if big pharma stopped delivering."
The Faith Healer
"I had a friend about 10 years ago go to a 'faith healer' for wrist pain from drumming and asked me to go with him. It was the dumbest shit I have ever seen. He paid her £200 to literally just wave her hands over his wrist for 20 minutes while some pan-pipe music played."
"Funnily enough, it didn't cure his carpal tunnel syndrome. Who would have thought??"
"It did make me wonder whether I'm missing out on an easy scam if people are THAT gullible, though XD"
– kutuup1989
Confession From A Diabetic
"You'd be amazed at how many people tell me (type 1 diabetic) that I could could get out from big pharma and my dependency on insulin if I just eat right..."
"I'm skinny and otherwise healthy. Type 1 is autoimmune disorder that must always take insulin due to the pancreas no longer creating any on its own..."
"These conversations are often met with a blank stare by me."
– BearXW
The Transplant Recipient
"Not a doctor. As a transplant recipient, I have to take immunosuppressant medication for the rest of my life. There are studies that some people do come off them completely, but it’s such a huge risk to take that it may trigger organ rejection."
"A family member of mine still can’t grasp how a life saving surgery provided by western medicine which initially saved my life, is still keeping me back from living my life. He suggested that I get off my immune suppressants because I am a cash cow for big pharma."
– mango_invasion
Germs To The Rescue
"Had a patient come in with horrid cellulitis bc they thought they read that putting dirt in a cut would help stimulate their immune system. It did for all the wrong reasons."
– CaptainSpalding232
And then there's all issues related COVID because of course COVID is still a thing. We're still in a pandemic. Listen to your doctor, but not the kinds of internet doctors that tell you to not trust other doctors. Otherwise you'll end like this.
*facepalm forever*
"Respiratory therapist here. Mostly I have enjoyed reading the public comments on articles relating to COVID. Highlights have included:"
"The ventilators are killing people! If people can breath on their own, they do better on high flow oxygen" Right. Believe it or not, we don't intubate people because it's a slow Tuesday, it's because (in the case of COVID) their oxygen demands have exceeded other mean of delivery (BiPAP, usually)"
"COVID isn't a lung issue! It's a gas exchange issue!" Sure. And where does the primary source of gas exchange occur? Yep. That's the lungs."
"Also had a patient that didn't believe he had COVID. Even went so far as to ask if the q-tip we used for the test came from the bottom of the box where it could be contaminated by actual COVID positive tests, since he heard that can happen. (All our lab tests are individually packaged of course)"
"We had an older (60s) couple that ended up with COVID, and we had them together in the same room. Most of us thought the man was going to die, as he was pretty bad. Their daughter was there almost around the clock. Many of us had long conversations with her about various treatments and expectations. Even she had mentioned it was just so different living thru it than what she had been expecting thru social media."
"When they had first came in, we had them in separate, smaller rooms since that's what we had available. After a week or so, one opened up where we could put them together. The daughter asked me point blank "So, are these rooms opening up because the people in them died?" I was honest. "Yes. That exactly what's happening". She just nodded her head. I don't think she was expecting that answer."
You Knew This One Was Coming
"So much COVID disinformation!"
"I enjoy teaching my patients about their health. It took me countless hours of studying in medical school and many more hours than that in residency to figure out how the body works, so I'm not usually surprised if patients are confused about things."
"However, since the start of the pandemic, I've actually had to keep current on the latest disinformation just so I know where these questions are actually coming from."
"I had a guy a few weeks ago come in with a Post-It Note with the word "Ivermectin" written on it."
"I felt like I knew where this conversation was going, but I asked: "Why do you want a prescription for ivermectin?"
"Just to have it…"
"Is this some treatment for COVID?"
"Yeah, I read online from some doctors (WHO???) that it can boost the immune system and treat COVID."
"Sir, ivermectin is a treatment for intestinal parasites. It does nothing against a virus like the coronavirus. Further, I actually treated people in the hospital with COVID and rounded in our ICU and none of us have ever prescribed ivermectin to treat seriously ill COVID patients."
"But I read online from these guys—and they're doctors—who said it works…"
"After five minutes of back and forth like this, you just need to stop, cut them off and tell them you're not prescribing their medication and move on. There's 20 other patients on the schedule today and I can't fight this battle right now. Good luck, man."
Listen to your doctors.
Seriously. This pandemic will be over a lost faster if we all just keep listening to trustworthy medical professionals.
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People Break Down The Most Shocking Things They've Found In The Information Google Stored About Them
Google is a dangerous tool. It leads to the world of the internet that can be worrisome and vicious just as much as it is plentiful and full of knowledge. Our lives are an open book and our secrets just a key stroke and google search away. Go ahead and get it over with now... type in your name and pray.
Redditor u/MBMV wanted to know who has discovered a few tidbits about themselves by doing an "innocent" internet search by asking.....
DUH
Feeling Dumb Jim Carrey GIFGiphyLots of recordings of me asking the Google Assistant stupid questions.
Google has recordings of me saying: "Ok Google, tell me a joke" ... "That was the stupidest freaking joke I've ever heard in my life."
And you are?
That I'm a 64 year old woman.
I'm a 40 year old man.
I dunno....... see I don't know you but Google is pretty reliable.
Have you tried being a 64 year old woman?
The Mobile Issues
Found out my wife was addicted to a mobile game and had dropped $6500 on it over the last year and a half.
That set of a string of fun conversations.
My mom told me she was spending up to $600 a month on Facebook and mobile games. She used to be a millionaire, and she thought the oil checks would never stop coming- but they were getting smaller and smaller.
Then one day, they stopped. She lives with my sister now, works at a call center, pays no rent and almost had to declare bankruptcy. She still plays mobile and fb games non-stop, as soon as she gets off work she starts drinking and chain smoking cigarettes and playing her games. My sister keeps asking her where all her money goes, I keep telling her "games," and she won't believe me. shrugs.
Edit for clarity: she didn't spend millions of dollars on games, the games started after her money went down and they continued after she moved in with my sister and she had to get a job at a call center. A lot of her money goes to alcohol and cigarettes too (she smokes a pack a day and she smokes the expensive kind lmfao).
Data
star trek laughing GIFGiphyIf we're being honest, I was more horrified about looking through my own browsing data.
Turn off Web Search History and set your history to delete every 3 months.
Balance Off....
About a year ago I had a stroke. I only found out exactly when, after going through my Google history and finding that I googled "loss of balance sudden" right after that moment.
I was sitting on a bed in a bedroom one afternoon just working on my laptop and then it felt like someone was pushing my head down on the bed. For the first few minutes or even hours I tried going from room to room but would always lose my balance and collapse on a nearby bed or couch. I threw up a couple of times.
I thought I could sleep it off but I couldn't, thought I was hungry but just kept throwing up what I ate. Fortunately during this I managed to text my brother and he took me to the ER. It was an ischemic stroke of the cerebellum. My balance is still wonky to this day, and I've needed to relearn how to walk. Nowadays I use a wheelchair, walkers, or canes.
The Photobook....
Old naked pics of ex. I thought I deleted it, but Google stored in cloud. Weird.
Edit: stop asking about the photos, it is not funny.
That's because google backs up your mobile photos. On an android open up "google photos" and it will show all the images you've ever taken with your google account across all the android phones you've owned. Really it should be an opt in, not an opt out but theres merit for it being automatic like this. Photos can be precious to you so its good they get backed up.
"Hey Google"
The fact that they saved every link you visited if you use Chrome or Google. That's kind of screwed up. And hearing recordings of the google assistant, when you didn't even say "Hey Google." Oh, and a full track record of your location in coordinates with timestamps.
So they just save everywhere you have ever been as long as you don't turn it of in settings. I think it's the settings under the Maps History tab? I just turned of all of the privacy related stuff.
Same thing goes for YouTube btw, turning off video and search history seems to stop them from tracking your video history.
Directed.....
Latin GIF by Apple MusicGiphyA few years ago I downloaded all my Facebook data finding every direct message I'd ever sent was in there, many of which I had deleted from my account.
Too long didn't read terms of service.
It's a plugin for browsers and tells you tldrs of terms of service. Like how FB and Instagram and such don't delete your posts, they just keep it and hide it from you and whoever looks at your account.
The Unplanned....
It's mostly zipped files and i can't understand it but,
They appear to track my location several times per minute with the exact GPS coordinates. I think i turned location history off not sure if they still do.
They also for some reason had the movie "unplanned" listed with words like gross, distasteful, unsettling, which were an indication of my feelings about this movie. No other movies or TV shows where listed in this manner.
Interesting Convo
Cant Speak Nathan Fillion GIFGiphyRecordings of whole conversations where it thought I said ok Google and then kept recording for a half hour.
Classic mistake. I also sometimes think that someone said my name and then listen intently making notes on everything said for the next 30 minuets. Could happen to anyone really.
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The world is overrun with fun facts and fake news. At this point who knows what to believe. That is why we must always think before we speak and have ironclad proof that what we are saying is factual. I mean the basics are covered.... the Earth is flat, the sky is blue and Adele is an angel. Check.
But all the other sordid details being lobbed at us on the daily need to be vetted before they are spread. Otherwise we're just talking smack... no matter how entertaining it is or solid it sounds.
Redditor u/argues_with_quote wanted to know what "knowledge" that was really nonsense others have tried to sell to us all by asking.... What is the most hilariously inaccurate 'fact' someone has told you?To Red Robin....
GiphyHad a friend try to tell me and a group of friends that every single Red Robin was off an exit 3 from the highway. We tried to tell her that no, it was just a coincidence that she saw two like that or something. Then when asked "do you know how exits work?" she replied "yes, every time there's a Red Robin, they make it an exit 3". Wtf? Born_Slippee
Crystals....
Water is a crystal, not a liquid.
It was some guy posting a shower thought. I got into a long argument with him and it kept getting more and more ridiculous because he was genuinely convinced. I've never.. ever seen anything like it. It still haunts me to this day, because it's so preposterous it MUST be a troll move, yet everything suggests he was serious. I will never know...
Here if you're interested....
https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/e3h5jf/water_is_a_liquid_crystal_so_we_are_all_crystal/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=shareahmadove
The X Factor.
- Neighbor told me he attended an international medical conference for work and he learned that women were "catching diabetes in their feet because of the sandals that they wear in the summer"
- Little sister's friend said that a contestant on a singing show like X Factor came second after the finale because the contestant who won stole his phone and turned it off so he wouldn't get his votes when people texted in. TeeRanbato
Sing out....
The band name "KISS" is an acronym for "Knights In Satan's Service."
"AC/DC" = "Anti-Christian Devil Children"
"Slayer" = "Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot"
...all told to us without irony by a Sunday school teacher, circa 1987. Keefer1970
Fractions.
This is a story that is too long to type in full but I once got into a disagreement with some random dude at an A&W because he thought that 1/4 (one quarter) was more than 1/3 (one third). His reasoning was that since 1/4 has a four and 1/3 has a three, and 4 is one unit higher than 3 then 1/4 is more than 1/3.
The worst part was that in order to prove him wrong I asked the cashier girl which weighed more, she didn't know. Then I asked the next person in line, that idiot said 1/4. Do you have any idea how infuriating it is to have a complete idiot think that he's smarter than you because everyone in the room is just as dumb as he is? ToxicMasculinity1981
The Confused.
GiphyMy ex argued that fossils weren't actually old and those creatures never existed, they were just stuck there to confuse us. DisneyDork1313
Lung Work.
"smoking weed strengthens your lungs" no, no it does not. ibbity
Yeah, I can get on board with the 'weed smoke isn't as bad as cig smoke.'
But like... combusted plant matter coating your lungs is still combusted plant matter coating your lungs. argues_with_quotes
The West Cold....
GiphySomeone once told me that it never snows in the state of Washington because 'its on the west coast.' Same person also told me that she doesn't believe in gravity because "if it was real, wouldn't the sun just suck up the moon?"
She was 24 when she said these things to me. Scamperillium
No Gatorade!
That you can live off drinking sea water because Gatorade has sodium in it.
I was telling this dude about a guy who was stranded out at sea for awhile and survived by drinking rainwater and shark blood or some crap, and dude was like "why didn't he drink the sea water? Gatorade has sodium in it and it's fine. It's a myth that you can't drink sea water. Probably so they can keep charging people for drinking water." Tickle86
Palms Up!
That masturbating will give you hairy palms. I had a teacher in high school tell us this and the number of guys and girls who checked their hands immediately was hilarious. I had to really slam on the brain filter to keep from doing it myself but you better believe I examined my hands thoroughly in the bathroom after class. DaFahQsay
Just Breathe...
GiphyIt's possible to breathe underwater.
She then tried to demonstrate and snorted a bunch of lake water up her nose. She was 14 at the time. psych_edelic_survey
they were damn bears.....
A woman at a party I was attending over a decade ago insisted that the largest member of the rodent family is the... polar bear.
I looked at her in absolute disbelief and replied that they weren't rodents, they were damn bears.
She had a PhD, too... smh. pm1966
This almost feels like one of those crazy facts that you think theres no way is true but kind of is by a technicality. Like I could say palm trees are grass. They aren't actually grass, but they are monocots like grass and are more closely related to grasses than woody trees, so if you skip a couple steps you could try to pass it as a "fun fact." iamgladtohearit
No Shake for You!
I was talking to a guy at the bar and he was telling me how soap is unnecessary for washing your hands. All you need is a combination of hot water and cold water. Not warm. But use both cold and hot.
I did not shake his hand. atlantis_airlines
This is quite scientifically sound. When you alternate between the temperatures rapidly, the dad microbe begins shouting about 'the thermostat' and 'he's not made of petri dishes you know" and all the young bacteria roll their eyes so hard they die. Like, Galileo discovered it, or something. my_4_cents
SMDH!!
My roommate tried to convince me that there are Chimpanzee-people in the jungle because isolated tribes are getting it on with the monkeys. I tried to explain how species reproduce and quickly realized he thinks you can be with a horse and get a centaur. aBucketofChestnuts
S'mored.
GiphyYou can get black lung disease from overcooking the marshmallows for s'mores. USPSA-Addict
Being Egged.
Goats lay eggs. A several minute argument followed, and I did not convince him he was wrong. I work in meat processing. Not that that's necessary to know that goats don't lay eggs, but it just made the argument all the more ridiculous. I'd literally seen goats born live countless times, and yet he argued.
Edit: I also worked at a caviar bar for a while, and many times had to hear from people who were horrified we were eating dolphin eggs. Beluga. I've heard that "mahi mahi is dolphin" more times than I can count. And from people who've eaten it even. onioning
Oh Boys....
An ex boyfriend once insisted that women can hold in their periods like we can hold our urine. He did not believe me, a woman, when I told him that was absolutely not the case. What. b0n3rjamz
I've had a similar conversation, although luckily I was able to convince him other wise. I told him that when you have a cut on your arm, it just bleeds and you can't control it. So you put a bandage on it. purpleplatapi
Perfect Potassium.
GiphyThe shape of the banana and the way it fits your hand so well are proof that god exists.
He stopped using that argument when one of our co-workers pointed out that a penis also fit hands pretty well too. I_throw_socks_at_cat
"Sally had told her so"
Not me but my mum. She was walking with a group of friends on a popular trail in the UK. She has quite an outspoken friend, let's call her Sally. The group saw a number of Chinese tourists taking pictures of the sheep along the trail. One of the group asked;
"I wonder why they are all taking pictures of sheep all the time."
To which Sally replies;
"It's because they don't have sheep in China!"
The group all believed Sally, and thought it was an amazing fact. My mum decided to regurgitate the fact one dinner time saying that "Sally had told her so."
I called bull and Googled it there and then.
Turns out China has the largest population of sheep in the entire world.
My mum has never lived that down. Alarmed_Brick