Being gay is special. It's too long to explain it all, just trust the truth. Ladies... and maybe some gents, accepting the way God made is all is a very sobering experience. Telling the gay truth can be... no... IS empowering but can also be very entertaining.
Redditor u/InFinder2004 wanted to hear from all the men of same sex persuasion about trying to chat with the ladies by asking..... (Serious) Gay men of Reddit, what was your "Sorry ladies, I like men" moment?
I Wanna Dance With Somebody!Giphy
I was at a music festival and one of my favorite artists came out and played a great set. It's absolutely packed and I'm dancing my booty off in a huge crowd of people having a great time. I guess the girl standing in front of me thought I was dancing up against her to try and make a move? She turns around and tells me she has a boyfriend - literally told her "that's great, I'm gay so that's not really any concern of mine, but I really dig your 80s top so you do you." cariboozer_
"you're actually gay?!"
I sat in the back corner of health class when I was a junior, though at my new school it was a freshman class. I immediately had 5 girls surround me, it was clear a couple of them had a crush. I moved a lot so it was normal for people not to know me and normal for me to keep to myself. Granted, I'm not a small guy but I was still nervous about being "out". One day they spent a good 20 minutes literally giving me a sales pitch on which one of them was hotter and wouldn't stop bugging me for an answer.
At some point one of the louder ones asked out of nowhere, "are you gay?". I said without even thinking, "yes, so stop asking!". She screamed , no joke, "you're actually gay?!" Loud enough for people in the hall to stop and look in. It was almost worse because now these five girls immediately clung onto their first "gay friend". Could've been worse, I had to fight at a couple past schools. Now though, I had a fairly impenetrable girl shield so nobody had a thing to say. First time I came out publicly too. thatguyinthejeans
I had a group of girls on the train once chastise me for staring at their friend's butt. I told them I was gay and was only staring at her questionable fashion choices.
(She looked fine, but I was a little insulted and had to retaliate). llieno94
"cool, me too"Giphy
I went to a club and I was looking at this girl simply because I liked her outfit but she then noticed me staring. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "stop staring at me weirdo, I have a boyfriend." And without any hesitation I replied with, "cool, me too". lilpickle00
One time I was getting KFC with a friend and I think the girl at the counter must have misread my politeness. Once I'd gone to sit down with my friend she came past and was like "Here" and put a piece of paper on the table pretty abruptly before walking off. Basically it was a short message and her number.
I'm pretty obviously not straight in the way I present myself so this sort of thing doesn't normally happen to me and I wasn't sure what to do. In the end I spent like an hour trying to find out the best way to say "Hey you seem nice and good on you for being so ballsy but also I'm gay."
I also made the mistake of posting about it on Facebook because it was pretty funny, especially if you know me. But someone saw it who knew both of us and put two and two together. So basically I fucked up a bit there.
She was real nice about it all and she thought it was funny too so it was chill. I was very out of my depth though. Lloydshanks
noviO, NOT noviA.....
I'm a white guy who tends to get read as gay in white communities because I'm short, generally well-dressed, and have a higher pitched voice. I work with Latino communities a lot in my job, though, and for them, I often get read as masculine/straight because I have facial hair. Different cultural benchmarks I guess, no big deal imo.
One time, though, I had two women in the community open up that they got in a big fight over me. One was mad that the other was spending more time with me. I just sat there dumbstruck and scared about outing myself because I didn't want to stop working with them. I just had to casually mention my noviO, NOT noviA and they figured it out. I think they just felt silly. I still work with them, great ladies. One of them is going to cook me mole soon, I'm stoked. throw_away1232123221
back to me....
I was at a hotel. I walk into the elevator and a girl is standing there. To make the ride less awkward, I ask how her day is going. She immediately says "Back off! I have a boyfriend" I said "Yeah, so do I. Anyways, back to my question." PrettyBoy6167
I had a co-worker who would flirt with our male coworkers to get them to do her work. She tried the hair flip and eye bat with me one day, I just laughed and said sorry not interested in what you got. foolhardyass
Why not the Men?Giphy
All the time, unfortunately. Well, actually, rarely do I even notice that a lady is flirting with me, it usually has to be pointed out to me after the fact. But dozens of times ladies have tried to flirt with me, and those times that I either do pick it up, or someone else points it out to me I have to gently let them know that my boat does not sail in that direction and I am not accepting ladies as passengers.
Then it makes me mad. I get ladies to flirt with me, but never the men :( I don't think that's fair. I could in theory get what I don't want, but I can't get what I do want. llcucf80
On the Video....
I was video calling my husband from my car in a parking lot outside the store, and there was a lady milling around who looked a bit dressed up but didn't seem to be wearing pants (or a skirt, or anything in that "equip slot"). I kept glancing over at her, trying to figure out why there's a pantsless lady wandering around. And then she started walking straight toward my car. Most people who've approached me in my parked car have been panhandlers, and I wasn't in the mood to get asked for money or really talk to strangers at all, so I drove away.
In retrospect, I'm pretty sure I almost was approached by a sex worker (who thought I was interested because I was looking at her) in the middle of a phone call with my husband. firstmatedavy
"Oh god no I'm gay"Giphy
One time I told a girl that I liked her boots (in my defense they were awesome) but she and her boyfriend thought I said boobs. "Oh god no I'm gay" helped me a lot that day. adeiner
"so do I!"
I was in the elevator of a resort going to my room, as I just arrived in town and needed to get ready for a trade show. In comes 3 drunk chicks from the pool, one goes "I like men with beards" trying to flirt, when I replied "so do I!" She went from trying to boink to trying to be my fruit fly. Lvs2splooge4lulzzz
I'm more on the skinny side of men and if you looked at me long enough you'd know damn well I'm gay. Apparently though it depends on where I am that people notice this fact. While at a bar with a couple of my friends (3 straight dudes and 1 bi guy) I was talking with a lot of the women that my straight friends were chatting with as well, just being friendly you know. One of them, really pretty lady, was talking to me and telling me that she liked my confidence in talking to women (which my confidence comes from wanting a conversation not a hookup) and gave me her number. Let me tell you my conversational confidence disappeared like that and I panicked and was like "oh my god I'm so sorry I'm gay I like men ahhaaha". Luckily she didn't seem to fazed by that and we ended up having a lovely conversation. Reddit
"Are you into guys?"
I was at a bar with my friends, standard. Rather tipsy girl comes over and starts trying to grind on me. It's inappropriate anyway, but I have to turn to her to push her away, because I was rather uncomfortable. She looks a little offended, so I ask her the classic "Are you into guys" she says yes and I say "me too."
Mistake, she immediately changes tack and starts with the gay best friend thing (rude) then proceeded to fall backwards over a barstool. I escaped and went back to talking about Formula 1 with my friends while she found a dude to make out with. Matduka
Like a Virgin....Giphy
Haven't had one. Usually ladies just ask me if I have a "girlfr..." pause as if coming to a realization and continue with "rrrsignificant other?" Just started a new job and that exact sequence of syllables has happened to me at least three times in as many days. Apparently I'm just obvious enough that you can tell, but not until you're mid-sentence. pots-and-pans-robot
I was getting drunk with my manager out in the parking lot after my last day of work. General I'm going to miss you, it's been fun, remember that time... kind of stuff. She confessed she had feelings for me but because of the company's strict rules on fraternization she kept it to herself. She then asked if I wanted to go back to her place. Now I never talked about my sexuality, I prefer to be single so people would probably assume from a distance and never be validated one way or the other.
I wouldn't lie if someone asked but I pass for straight so no one ever really did. I told her what the deal was, but surprisingly this didn't change her mind. She was not a person that was used to or would tolerate rejection. This made her a great GM but not very personable. In fact she kind of got offended and continued to come on to me regardless, right there in the front seat of her car. Again I told her it wasn't going to happen and I didn't feel comfortable with her advances. She then tried renegotiating, asking if she could just perform oral on me instead. SaltyPoseidon22
So, I rolled with it,.......
Back home in the US, I am coded gay, particularly my voice. However, where I live now, I am just seen as "The American."
I had a really nice woman strike up a conversation with me, I was really enjoying things until she touched my hand and laughed. I thought that was really weird because I typically don't like being touched, but when she laughed, I realized that she was flirting with me, not just having a conversation.
So, I rolled with it, and a couple of minutes later referred to my dogs and my husband.
The cold shoulder I got afterward made me wish I had kept my mouth shut... we were having a great conversation and she was lovely.
Conversely, I have often found that women will be a bit standoffish of me until I mention my husband, at which point the mood completely changes, and I see a much brighter, happier, and less reserved person. This is by far the most common thing that happens.
It makes me sad that both happens. anderlustcub
In the school hallway I was yelled at by some girl because they thought I was looking at her friends butt. I was literally wearing a pink shirt with rainbow stripes and an earring. It would literally take two seconds looking at me to know that I'm gay. I just laughed and said "nah, I'm homo." And walked away. gaychicagoan
i was at work, at the movie theater, and i waited on this group of three girls, and the ones mother.
the girl who apparently was interested in me appeared to have some bad social anxiety as she was doing everything with her mother, as her mother kept reassuring her with everything that she was doing, and that everything was okay.
so i finish waiting on them, then go into the lobby to go clean up the counters, stock lids, etc. then when i'm walking back past them, the girls friends stop me, and say
"my friend thinks you're really cute, and we were wondering if she could have your number?"
and she was sitting there with her mother, looking like she was suuuper nervous, so this made me feel TERRIBLE.
so i had to reply back with
"oh i'm sorry, i'm actually kinda... gay. i feel so bad i'm sorry, i'm sure you'll find someone though, best of luck!"
then i walked away, continuously feeling bad for this girl because she took a chance and i ended up not even liking girls oof. kylecello
I was out at a bar catching up with my siblings and a few friends when one girl started hitting on me. My sister leaned over and said "you're barking up the wrong tree there, he likes dudes". Poor girl looked so embarrassed... She didn't end the night empty handed. My brother took her home instead 😂😂 tumekeLV
In movies and TV, a character who is portrayed as highly intellectual has visible signifiers.
In real life, however, a person with a high IQ is not as easily identified by common Hollywood stereotypes of smart people.
"What is a subtle sign that someone is really intelligent?"
The minds of really smart individuals never stop working.
"They draw wisdom from multiple sources. Wait but that might be more wise than intelligent... But I guess those two tend to be seen together a lot."
"They are curious about everything."
"To be intelligent you need to be knowledgeable and you cant be knowledgeable if you are never curious."
The way highly intelligent people interact with others is slightly different.
"They can switch up the way they talk to match the person they're talking to without sounding condescending. They listen to how others learn and explain it in that person's language of understanding."
Talking On Level Ground
"Talking to people as if they're intelligent at their level and without being condescending or even letting on that it's lower than their level."
"I used to work with a doctor - Tom Howard - and the day I realized he was a genius was the time he guessed every single condition a patient of mine had based on minute pieces of information about him."
The Humble Professor
"No joke. The smartest professor I had in engineering school was also the most humble. She was an astounding human being. By week 2, she knew everyone's names by heart in the intro engineering course. In College. With like 180 students. Later, in upper division classes, people would occasionally ask some really stupid questions."
"Like, it happens... you get so deep into some fluid mechanics derivation or something you forget something really basic. People would ask a question like this and everyone would be thinking like; 'Wow, how did you even make it this far?' but then... it's like she would spot the flaw in their understanding so perfectly, and then respond with such clarity and wisdom that the person asking the question would look less stupid and the whole class would be enlightened."
"And here's the thing... I pride myself on being really good at that exact skill. I tutored a lot of people. I was easily one of the brightest amongst my peers. But that woman was on another level. It was mind-blowing."
"And it wasn't just her intelligence, but her organizational skills, discipline, consistency.... And yet... she was so humble. She was quiet and physically quite small. But she just exuded competence and immediately commanded every room she walked into. I've never seen anything quite like it."
A Positive Effect
"When they explain something they make you feel intelligent."
When In Doubt
"They know when their knowledge ends and say something to the extent of 'I don't know and anything else i say on this topic is ignorant speculation.'"
Some with impressive IQs may deal with questions in the following ways.
Reaction To Delayed Responses
"'You really think about everything don't you?' - a doctor, to me, after he asked me a question and I took longer than 2 seconds to answer it."
"No, I just pull something out of my ass every time and those extra seconds you waited for me to answer were purely to irritate you for my own enjoyment."
The Really Good Questions
"They can ask really good questions."
"Edit: to anyone not understanding what mean, I’m talking about people who ask 'really good questions,' not just any questions, really good ones. I don’t know how one would achieve this skill(I know I haven’t)."
"They spend time thinking before asking a question."
"Some of the smartest people don’t comment at all."
I agree with many of the comments saying a really intelligent person knows how to cater the conversation towards another person's level of understanding.
They do have the impressive skill to convey something in a way that can easily be understood. Some of the most venerated professors at my university were like this, and their classes were always the hardest to get in to.
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There are roughly 7 billion people on earth so being the top 1% of anything sounds like it might be an incredible honor.
Maybe you've received an award or a certification that only a few people have gotten. Or maybe you have a rare disease, which doesn't sound as fun.
We went to Ask Reddit to find the people who are in a top 1% of people.
Redditor I_Love_Small_Breasts asked:
"What are you in the 1% of?"
Here's some of the rare groups people are apart of or things they experience.
Could be totally great or totally inconvenient.
"If I shake my head in a certain way, I can give myself an orgasm. Never met anyone who can do that."
"Wow that sounds incredibly inconvenient."
"'Shaking my head' has a whole new meaning now. Damn."
Survived a flesh eating bacteria.
"Survived flesh eating bacteria in the bloodstream after sepsis. Most people die within 3 days."
"Had MRSA and sepsis because of an open wound on my left foot. Thing is a nurse was treating the wound with Santyl and it was fully bandaged at all times. The nurse changed the dressings 3 times a week but I still ended up in the hospital with antibiotics IV'd into each arm plus oral antibiotics. Spent 15 days in ICU having all my organs sonogramed for signs of the infection spreading. X-rays and MRI's to check for bone infections and when they released me I had to wear a wound vac pump for 2 months to seal the wound on my foot."
"I can stop my hiccups on command."
"There’s a superpower for sure."
This is way less than 1%
"I am one of only 1300 board certified Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners for the adult and adolescent population. In the world."
"I'm unsettled by how small that number is."
"To be fair, there are more SANE nurses, meaning nurses who take care of these patients and are qualified to do so. Being board certified just means I took an extra step after I reached a qualifying time to take a test to prove it. I’m actually up for renewal. At the time I first tested, I was one of something like 1100."
"Still, even knowing that, there aren’t enough SANEs or FNEs overall."
"I’m naturally ambidextrous. Apparently that’s something only 1% of people naturally are. I can use both right and left hands ably for any task. For example, I often switch which hand I write with based on how I’m sitting."
"It’s worth noting natural ambidexterity is not the same as learned or acquired ambidexterity. For example, left handed people often have to use things designed for right handed people but otherwise are left handed."
"I’m of the .002% of people with osteopoikilosis. This freaked the sh*t out of me because when I was diagnosed the first thing the doctor said was 'wow I’ve never seen this in anything but textbooks before.'"
"Basically, I have bones growing inside my bones. It’s not anything I should be worried about, at least for a while, so that’s nice."
How many people can say this?
"I've represented my country in the Paralympic games."
"That’s a really nice one! Which specialty?"
"Volleyball for Great Britain in the 1996 games in Atlanta."
"Not me but my dad."
"He was born with a backwards heart and didn’t find out till his heart attack a few years ago and it actually saved his life."
"His doctor later told him that after being a doctor for over 30 years he’d never seen someone with a backwards heart and that apparently 1% of people on the planet have it."
"I am diagnosed with Visual snow syndrome. Basically seeing through static. It may not be rare as thought but I am one of very few people to be formally diagnosed."
"Same! I figured it out when people didn’t see the static and I heard it mentioned! Used to think I was seeing molecules when I was a little kid haha."
HIV resistant gene mutation.
"I have a double gene mutation that makes me highly resistant or even immune to the HIV virus."
"Can doctors use your blood to help those with HIV?"
"I have the same mutation and I've donated samples towards research. I got an email last year about vaccine hopes but I'm not sure where it went."
There are some incredible people out there in the world, and thankfully the internet is bringing them all together.
It's fascinating to see how diverse humans really are.
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How you approach life's many trials and tribulations can say a lot about who you are. However, many of us don't necessarily learn some lessons so easily.
Life is complicated. It's messy. Few, if any things, go according to plan. On top of that, sometimes the way we handle our relationships or our obligations might not be the most healthy one.
You live, you learn... or so the saying goes.
People shared their stories after Redditor ryanblumenow asked the online community,
"What did you learn at great personal cost?"
"I broke three..."
"Never trust a ladder set up by someone else. I broke three of my lumbar vertebrae. Thankfully I recovered fully, but damn was that scary. I also bit through my lower lip. I have a nice scar as a memento."
This is terrifying. Glad you're still alive–that you healed is miraculous!
"Even if you work your hardest..."
"Even if you work your hardest, do everything right, and are a great employee… you may still be seen as expendable."
This is true. Your company will never be loyal to you. Don't bend over backwards. Do your job–don't sell your soul.
"That you need to be careful..."
"That you need to be careful what you put up with as it teaches people how to treat you. I lost a lot of 'friends' once I started to set boundaries."
This is very true. I can relate: I definitely lost a few so-called "friends" the second I began standing up for myself.
"This goes for all relationships..."
"Don't listen to what people say, but what they do. This goes for all relationships, both professional and personal."
Amen to that. It's a cliche, but actions absolutely do speak louder than words.
"Family can be just as toxic..."
"Family can be just as toxic for you as anyone else. Sometimes it's best to cut them out."
Ain't that the truth.
Are we trading toxic family stories now?
"If someone gets upset..."
"If someone gets upset at you for trying to establish boundaries with them, it's not you being mean or unreasonable, it's them not caring about your happiness."
This is spot on. Don't trust people who violate your boundaries. Your gut won't lie to you, not about this.
"You can't convince them."
"You cannot, even subtly, force someone to love you. You can't convince them. They either do or they don't, and it's on you to decide what to do with that unchangeable position in mind."
I feel like many people go through their 20s without learning this.
Not that I know anything about this... or anything like that.
"Just because you try to be a good friend..."
"That people aren't always your friend. Gaslighting is real. Just because you try to be a good person doesn't mean good things will happen to you."
Very true. Be very careful about what you put out there. Not everyone has good intentions, though this is not in anyway meant to imply that the world is terrible.
It isn't. Just be judicious.
"You can accomplish..."
"You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Doesn't mean you should. Everything will cost more than you anticipate in ways you can't imagine."
That's a poetic way to put it! Spot on. Everything costs something, even your success.
"That you don't have to run off and get married. A marriage that only lasted one year cost me more than $10K. Life is not a race and you don't need to be married by a certain point or at all for that matter."
"Be patient, make yourself available, gravitate to those who understand you the most."
Awful. It sounds like you have peace of mind now, however, which is priceless.
Don't be so hard on yourself, by the way. We all learn at our own pace.
Here's a tip before we go: Your education is never complete. Life always something to teach you, so just accept it, be open to it, and go in grace.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Is there anyone who loved high school?
High school is a disaster. That is true for like... 95% of us.
it's like being branded. "I survived high school because of this!!"
The past is never really past, is it? What did you see?
Redditor HelloProxima wanted to go back and visit the teenage years, by asking:
"What is the most f**ked up thing that happened in your high school?"
I'm on the fence about high school. I want to hate it, but nostalgia haunts me. I saw a lot of violence, there is that.
We were on CNN.don lemon nodding GIF by Red Table TalkGiphy
"They started charging us for ketchup in the cafeteria. Most of the school boycotted cafeteria lunch and brought all manner of condiments from home. We were on CNN. They eventually caved." ~ Ash3Monti
No one liked him.
"I was big into drama club and musical theatre when I was in high school. There was a girl in the drama club in her freshmen or sophomore year who was super nice and everyone loved her. Her older brother on the the other hand, was a complete and total douchebag. No one liked him."
"He always made inappropriate comments or jokes and no one liked to be around him. One night, he was driving him and his sister back from school when he took a steep curve going around 100 mph. He lost control and hit a telephone pole. His sister died instantly and he was in a coma for a few weeks but ultimately survived."
"Myself and my friends in the drama club were devastated. She was one of the sweetest girls you'll ever met and we all loved her. A year or two later, the brother messages my sister and tries to use his sister's death as leverage to get laid. F**k you, you piece of crap." ~ FearTheKeflex
"Guidance counselor was taking bribes to change grades (Both money and sexual favors). Invited one male student over to his house. Had the student tie him up and hang him by chains in his basement "dungeon." Student was homophobic and while the counselor was tied up, bludgeoned him to death." ~ monthos
"This is not that extreme, but it's still disgusting. We have drinking water taps instead of fountains. One parent was suspicious of whether they were cleaning the tanks or not. So they made an announcement that the tank was being cleaned every single day."
"A lot of us didn't believe it, so a group of boys decided to see for themselves if it was true or not. So they put a dead frog in the tank when there was no one around. I don't even know where they found the frog but they swear they didn't kill it. Anyway the frog was there for a few weeks. And obviously the water started tasting weird."
"After the teachers got multiple complaints, they opened the tank and found the frog. The boys were punished, but they fired back with the fact that they lied about cleaning the tanks. They were still punished, because they proved it in a disgusting way. They could've put literally anything in the tank, but they chose a dead frog." ~ R00mTemperature
The QuadAcds2 Look Away GIF by Anime Crimes DivisionGiphy
"A worker doing stuff on the roof. He fell off. Landed in the 'quad' at lunch. A large piece of machinery fell and squished his head. Like a cartoon, only funny. Like 150 Kids saw this." ~ LordInventus
"The Latin kings gang threatened my cousin and his friends and they had 10 squad cars guarding the whole school and dismissed us the same day early." ~ Terrykrinkle
“it’s gonna blow”
"I had just moved in from Egypt to the states in my senior year of high school. A teacher thought it would be funny to fold a bunch of papers and wrap them in duck tape to make it look like a bomb and threw it my direction and went under his desk saying 'it’s gonna blow.' Everybody started laughing and I was so clueless then I just laughed along. It infuriates me to this day that I didn’t call him out on it or report him." ~ ezzabousaif
"Someone somehow made a bomb threat on a Swedish fish candy. Like one single piece. I don’t know how it happened but he got arrested." ~ ts_13_
"A couple weeks before graduation, this kid hacked into the school system and put a Hitler quote and a Boston bomber reference in the senior quotes for the yearbook. One of the affected parties was a trans girl, and we're still not sure if it was a targeted act because of that."
"Administration didn't find out until the entire senior class had received their books. Some people turned theirs in to get their pages replaced, but some kept it because it was a 'limited edition item' or some stupid sh*t like that. Kid got arrested and charged with cybercrime, since he hacked everyone in our school system's school passwords."
"He was so close to graduating too, but got expelled like two weeks before he could. Looked like a rat too. It was all over the news, and everyone in the state of CT basically knows about this now. Got out on bail for $5000." ~ kocorpsie
Good God!Season 3 What GIF by On My BlockGiphy
"We had a huge fight happen in the girls bathroom."
"Apparently one student brought drugs to school and was selling it to her friends. A completely unrelated student caught on and stole the drugs while everyone else was in class. She was caught snorting the drugs in the bathroom by the group selling the drugs and got the crap beat out of her."
"We also had a recently graduated student murder his parents for insurance money . He hid the bodies in a chicken coop and told everybody they were on vacation. It wasn't until 7 months later the bodies were found by the landlord because the rent was late." ~ randomgenericcow
Enjoy high school, at least try too. Maybe if more kids do that, it wouldn't be so insane.
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