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People Explain Which Problems Can Absolutely Ruin A Relationship

People Explain Which Problems Can Absolutely Ruin A Relationship
Image by Jhonatan_Perez from Pixabay

Love is hard work. The fairytales in film, tv, literature and music have been lying to us. There is no happily ever after. After the credits roll life happens and then the love story gets real. I'm being bitter and macabre. Love is also a very beautiful thing. But love is also deeply fragile and it doesn't take much to tarnish and destroy it.

We try to do the best we can but there is a lot more to be aware of. Love tends to be gone before we realize we could've saved it. So listen and maybe you'll save your fairytale.

Redditoru/EntrepreneurAlone118wanted to discuss all the ways love can sour quickly or slowly, by asking:

What is 1 thing that absolutely kills relationship?

I'm an extremely picky person. Which means I'm a huge pain in the back side. Literally any little thing can change my feelings for a person, even a strong wind. I'm trying to be better.

One Sided

Whatever Shrug GIF by MOODMANGiphy

"Lack of investment. When one of the parties won't do anything to help or grow the relationship it will end when the other person becomes exhausted and disillusioned."

- NZT-48Rules

no going back...

"Contempt. Relationships can come back from anger, because you can't be really angry at someone you don't care about, and trust that is damaged can be rebuilt, but there's no path from contempt to healthy."

- Consistent_Sector_19

"This is the best answer... I was stuck in a controlling, abusive relationship... But the first time I felt contempt for him... It was over. There was no going back. Took a couple months to arrange a safe way to leave, but I was just counting down the days at that point."

- JunkMailSurprise

Who Cares?

"Just general apathy. When I no longer got annoyed with my ex because I just didn't care, we didn't argue, I really didn't want to be there any more, I knew it was over. What they say about hate not being the opposite of love is true. It's indifference."

- Laurajenn

"This is true. Once I lost respect for my ex, I knew there was no looking back and didn't even give a crap."

- SophiesGMA


Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAMGiphy


- RiverHorror

"Lol that was the first thing I thought of."

- userdeleted

Yeah murder changes everything. I'll stand by you for a lot, but if we end up a Netflix documentary, I'm going to be so peeved. And if I give up, it's beyond done.


Normalize Mental Health GIF by mtvGiphy

"A mental health issue/trauma that is not addressed."

- CronkinOn

Money Blues

"Financial issues. Not just financial pressure but also having a large gap between what you make/contribute and what your partner makes/contributes. Over time this can cause animosity if you're not both clear with each other about the expectation and long term plan/goals."


The Heft of Life

"Stress. The amount of failed relationships due to people unable to handle the stress of trying to provide in an economy where majority are unable to actually provide is crazy. Nothing is more debilitating than working hard and not making ends meet."

- Father_OMally

Who are you?

"People change. There comes a point in some relationships when a person is no longer the same person that you fell in love with. I mean, in a sense they ARE literally the same person and that is what makes it so difficult. You begin to live in the past, in love with someone who no longer exists."

- Silver_Tomato

People Explain Which Expensive Purchases Paid For Itself In The Long Run | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

A Loan...

"My partner and I were great until we started looking at apartments. He makes a lot of money but it all gets invested back into his profession- I was too understanding. I took all the financial risks- I put down the deposit on both apartments that we looked at, and I loaned him $2,000 for his portion of the initial payment for an apartment."

"3 days before we were supposed to move in he let me know he wouldn't be able to have the money we needed to pay rent- we had to break the lease and I lost the entire deposit. It's been a year and he hasn't paid me back a cent. We were perfect before. Now I'm bitter, angry, considering leaving quite often and I feel betrayed. I don't think he even realizes."

- susgodtraplord

Hard Labor

Happy I Love You GIF by Minnie MouseGiphy

"Thinking love is enough. It's not. Relationships need a lot of work. They can end, even though people love each other, if not enough work is put into."

- Windshards2

They Gone

"Talking about their ex. If you cant let go of the past then we have no future. There are suppose to be two of us in this relationship - not three... you, me and your ex."

- iseeadollar

"There is a difference between not letting go of the past, and having a past. I don't try to avoid mentioning my exes. They happened, and that's fine. So did my wife's exes."

- stupid_comments_inc

Working Hard

"I hate the phrase "relationships needs work". My ex used it a lot , but the truth is we should have ended things a long time before. The relationship was straining and it took more than gave back. In my current relationship I do a lot of work, but I want to do it and I like doing it. So it doesn't feel like work."

- Ellubori



- MadRollinS

"Yeah, that'll definitely do it. When I was in high school my best friend started to complain that her boyfriend had suddenly changed snd was really rude and abusive. I suggested the possibility of drugs. She claimed he was too poor to buy drugs. It ended up being drugs. And then a couple years later the same thing happened to her. She's fine now, but I had to remove her from my life until she wasn't on a indefinite banger anymore."

- tea-fungus

Move Away

scared home alone GIFGiphy

"Incompatible sleeping position killed my last relationship. I prefer to sleep on my back. She preferred to sleep with her ex-boyfriend."

- 4AcidRayne

ball of hate...

"Selfishness. When the relationship revolves only to a single person, and not between both people, just get out of there. You'd only grow into a ball of hate."

- pepitoshow

a stamp for life...


- stuffofname

"This is the only correct answer imo. While other answers here do make sense, cheating is a stamp for life. How anyone can forgive a cheating partner is beyond me."

- Little_Hobbitt

"Interesting comment, I've never felt that cheating is such a bad thing. I'm more upset about the lying and the why part of cheating than the sex with others."

- wcdi_30

Rude and Lazy

"Not having trust in someone even when they believe you're lying when you're telling them the truth... also maybe like household chores or being rude to everyone all the time."

- KingSpartacus06

"Chores seems to be a huge point of conflict for many of my friends in long-term relationships."

- TheLegendofLior

You gotta indulge...

"An unbalance. You gotta indulge in your partner's wants as frequently as they indulge in yours. Can't make your partner hike with you whenever you want but couldn't be bothered to watch a movie they like at the theatre. And for God sakes no double standards, if you don't want them doing something, don't do it either."

- GodsentSea_Friend

Talk About X

"Lack or absence of overall communication. You will :

  • drift apart
  • grow apart
  • stop understanding each other
  • small untold issues, once you are conscious of them become huge issues."

"My wife and I made this one number our priority. We will communicate. Whenever something seems / feels / is wrong, we talk openly about it (I said talk, not argue) and we always solve the issue. This has allowed us to go on for 4 years while never shouting at each other. There are other reasons but whenever I hear that a couple "does not talk about x issue cause maybe it will change on the future", I know it won t and I know it may not last long."

- I_needabrain_I

Basic Deceny

"Unhealthy communication. I grew up with a family that loves to pull things out of the closet when they're backed into a proverbial corner in an argument. I really hate that behavior. If me and my fiancé have a fight and resolve it. I will not bring up the mistakes again to gain footing. I also do not believe in belittling my partner when I'm angry. Too many people are just 'ok' with insulting one another when they're mad. I won't stay with someone who cannot maintain basic decency when things get tough."

- Nspired_1

You Know

"For me its the "you should know what you did" sentiment. No forget that its childish highshcooler bull I'm not a mind reader bit if you. But tell me whats bothering you and I'm always willing to talk and work it out. Plus with my ADHD I can't remember breakfast most days and certainly not Something you thought i said wrong 5 days ago."

- tiggers08


30 Rock GIFGiphy

"Her friends and family thinking she can do better combined with male rivals hanging around she won't get rid of despite their obvious interest."

- generalsystemsuserna

So what have we learned thus far? Love is rough. So you have to take care of it. Are you capable?

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.