Love is hard work. The fairytales in film, tv, literature and music have been lying to us. There is no happily ever after. After the credits roll life happens and then the love story gets real. I'm being bitter and macabre. Love is also a very beautiful thing. But love is also deeply fragile and it doesn't take much to tarnish and destroy it.
We try to do the best we can but there is a lot more to be aware of. Love tends to be gone before we realize we could've saved it. So listen and maybe you'll save your fairytale.
Redditor u/EntrepreneurAlone118 wanted to discuss all the ways love can sour quickly or slowly, by asking:
What is 1 thing that absolutely kills relationship?
I'm an extremely picky person. Which means I'm a huge pain in the back side. Literally any little thing can change my feelings for a person, even a strong wind. I'm trying to be better.
One Sided
Whatever Shrug GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Lack of investment. When one of the parties won't do anything to help or grow the relationship it will end when the other person becomes exhausted and disillusioned."
no going back...
"Contempt. Relationships can come back from anger, because you can't be really angry at someone you don't care about, and trust that is damaged can be rebuilt, but there's no path from contempt to healthy."
"This is the best answer... I was stuck in a controlling, abusive relationship... But the first time I felt contempt for him... It was over. There was no going back. Took a couple months to arrange a safe way to leave, but I was just counting down the days at that point."
Who Cares?
"Just general apathy. When I no longer got annoyed with my ex because I just didn't care, we didn't argue, I really didn't want to be there any more, I knew it was over. What they say about hate not being the opposite of love is true. It's indifference."
"This is true. Once I lost respect for my ex, I knew there was no looking back and didn't even give a crap."
RUN!
Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM
Giphy
"Murder."
"Lol that was the first thing I thought of."
- userdeleted
Yeah murder changes everything. I'll stand by you for a lot, but if we end up a Netflix documentary, I'm going to be so peeved. And if I give up, it's beyond done.
Health
Normalize Mental Health GIF by mtv
Giphy
"A mental health issue/trauma that is not addressed."
Money Blues
"Financial issues. Not just financial pressure but also having a large gap between what you make/contribute and what your partner makes/contributes. Over time this can cause animosity if you're not both clear with each other about the expectation and long term plan/goals."
The Heft of Life
"Stress. The amount of failed relationships due to people unable to handle the stress of trying to provide in an economy where majority are unable to actually provide is crazy. Nothing is more debilitating than working hard and not making ends meet."
Who are you?
"People change. There comes a point in some relationships when a person is no longer the same person that you fell in love with. I mean, in a sense they ARE literally the same person and that is what makes it so difficult. You begin to live in the past, in love with someone who no longer exists."
People Explain Which Expensive Purchases Paid For Itself In The Long Run | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
A Loan...
"My partner and I were great until we started looking at apartments. He makes a lot of money but it all gets invested back into his profession- I was too understanding. I took all the financial risks- I put down the deposit on both apartments that we looked at, and I loaned him $2,000 for his portion of the initial payment for an apartment."
"3 days before we were supposed to move in he let me know he wouldn't be able to have the money we needed to pay rent- we had to break the lease and I lost the entire deposit. It's been a year and he hasn't paid me back a cent. We were perfect before. Now I'm bitter, angry, considering leaving quite often and I feel betrayed. I don't think he even realizes."
Hard Labor
Happy I Love You GIF by Minnie Mouse
Giphy
"Thinking love is enough. It's not. Relationships need a lot of work. They can end, even though people love each other, if not enough work is put into."
They Gone
"Talking about their ex. If you cant let go of the past then we have no future. There are suppose to be two of us in this relationship - not three... you, me and your ex."
"There is a difference between not letting go of the past, and having a past. I don't try to avoid mentioning my exes. They happened, and that's fine. So did my wife's exes."
Working Hard
"I hate the phrase "relationships needs work". My ex used it a lot , but the truth is we should have ended things a long time before. The relationship was straining and it took more than gave back. In my current relationship I do a lot of work, but I want to do it and I like doing it. So it doesn't feel like work."
- Ellubori
Drugs
"Meth."
"Yeah, that'll definitely do it. When I was in high school my best friend started to complain that her boyfriend had suddenly changed snd was really rude and abusive. I suggested the possibility of drugs. She claimed he was too poor to buy drugs. It ended up being drugs. And then a couple years later the same thing happened to her. She's fine now, but I had to remove her from my life until she wasn't on a indefinite banger anymore."
Move Away
scared home alone GIF
Giphy
"Incompatible sleeping position killed my last relationship. I prefer to sleep on my back. She preferred to sleep with her ex-boyfriend."
ball of hate...
"Selfishness. When the relationship revolves only to a single person, and not between both people, just get out of there. You'd only grow into a ball of hate."
a stamp for life...
"Cheating."
"This is the only correct answer imo. While other answers here do make sense, cheating is a stamp for life. How anyone can forgive a cheating partner is beyond me."
"Interesting comment, I've never felt that cheating is such a bad thing. I'm more upset about the lying and the why part of cheating than the sex with others."
- wcdi_30
Rude and Lazy
"Not having trust in someone even when they believe you're lying when you're telling them the truth... also maybe like household chores or being rude to everyone all the time."
"Chores seems to be a huge point of conflict for many of my friends in long-term relationships."
You gotta indulge...
"An unbalance. You gotta indulge in your partner's wants as frequently as they indulge in yours. Can't make your partner hike with you whenever you want but couldn't be bothered to watch a movie they like at the theatre. And for God sakes no double standards, if you don't want them doing something, don't do it either."
Talk About X
"Lack or absence of overall communication. You will :
- drift apart
- grow apart
- stop understanding each other
- small untold issues, once you are conscious of them become huge issues."
"My wife and I made this one number our priority. We will communicate. Whenever something seems / feels / is wrong, we talk openly about it (I said talk, not argue) and we always solve the issue. This has allowed us to go on for 4 years while never shouting at each other. There are other reasons but whenever I hear that a couple "does not talk about x issue cause maybe it will change on the future", I know it won t and I know it may not last long."
Basic Deceny
"Unhealthy communication. I grew up with a family that loves to pull things out of the closet when they're backed into a proverbial corner in an argument. I really hate that behavior. If me and my fiancé have a fight and resolve it. I will not bring up the mistakes again to gain footing. I also do not believe in belittling my partner when I'm angry. Too many people are just 'ok' with insulting one another when they're mad. I won't stay with someone who cannot maintain basic decency when things get tough."
You Know
"For me its the "you should know what you did" sentiment. No forget that its childish highshcooler bull I'm not a mind reader bit if you. But tell me whats bothering you and I'm always willing to talk and work it out. Plus with my ADHD I can't remember breakfast most days and certainly not Something you thought i said wrong 5 days ago."
Rivals
30 Rock GIF
Giphy
"Her friends and family thinking she can do better combined with male rivals hanging around she won't get rid of despite their obvious interest."
So what have we learned thus far? Love is rough. So you have to take care of it. Are you capable?
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I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
Black Friday Nbc GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
sushi GIFGiphy"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
Janet Jackson Reaction GIFGiphy"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
Happy GIFGiphy"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
Bored Episode 15 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
Circle Of Life Loop GIFGiphy"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
Nbc Im Done GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
customer service waiter GIFGiphy"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
Admit It Tell The Truth GIF by TV LandGiphy"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
move leading GIFGiphy"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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