Never ask the internet for anything meaningful. Yes it's great for finding Chinese food at midnight or to Wiki a band from the 80's but when it comes to medical issues and matters of the heart... be smarter. The net is made up of billions of voices with their own agendas who may be off their own meds because of similar issues. Maybe not the most stable environment for life advice. Just a thought.
Redditor u/mordor_fire wanted to discuss all the reasons we should all NEVER ask the web for help with love by asking..... Redditors who took terrible advice from r/relationshipadvice? What happened?
SURPRISE!!Kristen Wiig Surprise GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy
One post that stood out for me was a guy asking for advice after finding out his girl was lying to him about where she went one afternoon.
The whole comment section rallied with torches and pitchforks, telling him she's cheating and he should just leave.
Anyway, turned out she lied cause she got him a lovely birthday present (a snake, cause the guy loves snakes) and met up with a breeder that afternoon to sort everything out. Glad the dude didn't listen and just asked her what happened instead.
The Dog Way
I didn't follow the terrible advice that they gave me. I posted there once basically to rant that my girlfriend and her roommates had given a temporal home to a street dog, and now that they had to move the roommates wanted to get rid of the dog (put it to sleep or put it back in the street) because their new apartment didn't accept pets. So I took the dog in my home and I was stressed because it was the first week and the dog was a handful, and the roommates didn't care at all.
Relationship advice? Give the dog to a shelter (because you will never love it) and break up with my gf (because she's a horrible person and you will resent her. A user literally said "this is the beginning of the end of your relationship).
What did I do? Talk with my gf, tell her I felt frustrated and that I really disliked that she and her friends had taken the dog out of the streets without thinking of the future. She told me she understood that and that she was going to pay for everything the dog needed until we (as a couple) could move in together, but that she wasn't going to act like the dog wasn't her responsibility.
2 years later, she has always paid for the food, vet, check ups, everything. And we're moving in together soon and taking the dog with us. So yeah, I'm glad I didn't listed to that terrible advice.
Edit: Apparently you can't mention a dog in reddit without posting pics so here's a picture of my dog https://imgur.com/a/a3O1t7m
All the Hands....
On one hand, they helped me get the courage to leave a legitimately toxic relationship (dude was super controlling and manipulative, and was cheating on me the entire time). Then again, I also consulted with other people in my actual life like my parents and friends.
On the other hand, they also told me to just walk up and kiss, without asking, my best friend whom I had a crush on. I was asking how I should talk to him about my feelings in a way that WASN'T going to be awkward if he didn't feel the same.
Also, asked opinions on if a guy i was talking to was planning on ghosting me. Everyone assumed he was seeing another woman and that i should just let him go. Ended up asking him instead, and turns out he was having trouble with his anxiety and depression, and that he was too afraid to talk about it with me because he didn't want to scare me away, and that he wasn't just neglecting me. He was very appreciative that I asked him what was going on.
I've been the subject of horrible advice there but never posted myself. My ex posted about me on there and then made me read the comments. Basically using this forum to justify his thinking that I was the worst and he was a victim. Like dude you literally made me read hate mail until I cried, you were never the gem you thought you were.
Also, he ended up trying to cheat on me with my best friend. She locked herself in the bathroom until I got home so she could tell me what happened.
A Family Affairsmh GIF Giphy
Saw a kid posting about how he wasn't getting along with his parents (they were making him work or something normal parents do), and Reddit told him he should basically confront them and tell them off. Next update post said that they kicked him out of the house... not positive but I think the Reddit lynch mob dropped the ball on that one.
There was a this guy who went on reddit asking for advice about his wife asking for a divorce. A user suggested he consult with all the lawyers in the area so that there would be some kind of conflict of interest and they would not be able to consult his wife. He ended up getting soooo screwed because his wife's lawyer knew what he was doing and threatened stuff to make him stop. OP ended up divorced iirc....
I once argued with someone there that FIRST the person should speak openly and honestly about what's bothering them before going straight to leaving. They responded "I figure if they're posting for advice on Reddit, they've already taken the logical steps". Oh how wrong you are, my friend, and yet I got downvoted.
I didn't take the advice provided. I asked for help and tips into making a relationship healthy and how to communicate properly, as my parents had a very toxic relationship and I don't have much of an idea of what an actually healthy relationship looks like. I included a bit of my parent's relationship as an example of what I want to avoid. My boyfriend treats me amazingly and he's an absolute precious sweetheart. I made sure to include this in the post to avoid having to deal with some misconceptions.
Well, guess what, I got told over and over to break up and to leave my boyfriend, that if it would be a good relationship I wouldn't have to ask for advice. Some people straight up told me that my parent's relationship is great and I should follow their footsteps...... my father is an abusive alcoholic and my mother a mentally abusive one. No. No freaking thank you.
After about 2O comments telling me to leave this wonderful man and encouraging a lot of the negative behavior shown from my parents, I just deleted the post and took a long long break from that subreddit.
"we need to try to fix this."
I wasn't the one getting advice, my girlfriend was. We had been together 6 years. Honestly, it had been long distance for a year, we were drifting apart, it definitely wouldn't have lasted regardless. But I went to her place for the weekend (again, long distance at that point so that's the only time I'd see her), and she point blank said it was over, there would be no changing her mind, it isn't up for discussion, go home.
It's kinda crazy but I knew she used Reddit but I didn't and didn't know what it was. A couple months later I started using it and found her by random coincidence. She was commenting on a news article directly related to her team at her University and based on the username there's no way it could have been anyone else. I made the mistake of looking at her profile and seeing she was very active in relationship advice and once I learned how that place operates it all made sense.
This was about 6 years ago at this point and it still effects me. After that much time, I feel I was at least owed the honest discussion of "we need to try to fix this." She was such a major part of my life that it really messed me up for a while. I almost lost my job due to constant panic attacks, just generally being super unstable, etc. Again, it never would've lasted anyway, but those a--holes telling her to immediately break all ties with me hurt me worse than anything in my life and it still has lasting effects.
Why Bother?Confused Gwyneth Paltrow GIF Giphy
God i never go on that sub anymore because everyone's solution is just to break up, even if its something small like not getting a haircut. "Well if he doesn't want to cut his hair for you that means he doesn't value you or care about you as a person, break up with him." Like ??? I wasn't even complaining about his long hair though??
The Sob Story
I posted years ago, because my then bf and I had a fight. He was religious, I wasn't and the fight seemed to be about that. Reddit told me to break up, this wouldn't work out.
What I didn't realize was, that we didn't fight about religion but about our expectations of our relationship. Once we got that behind we had a great time. We got married last week, after 6 years together.
In case you wonder if this is just some made-up sob story:
Looking for Redlns209 looking GIF by truTV's Late Night Snack Giphy
I never posted but used to read stories on there all the time. I eventually had to stop because I started getting overly suspicious about my husband. It was ridiculous, I was constantly looking for red flags in our relationship and ended up being the red flag. I haven't been back on there in years.
It wasn't relationship advice but it was another online advice thing called lyf. Basically when I first started seeing my boyfriend I noticed he was paying a little less attention to me (he did have a lot.going on at the time as well, also things get less intense after a bit and I do have a habit of overthinking until I panic). He said he'd come with me to pick up a bike and I was calling and messaging him all day but couldn't get a response and I was starting to run out of time till I had to go. One person just said "you need to end it, he doesn't respect you enough" basically.
He responded just in the nick of time for me to pick him up to get this bike, and immediately when he got in the car and saw how upset I was, he apologized and explained because he had stayed late to help pack up after a big event. (which I know was true because I had stayed to help for a bit too) It ended up going on way longer than expected and, with everything else, he had just been so exhausted he slept through his alarms, my phone calls etc.
It's over a year later now and we're fine, just moved into a house together. We have problems sometimes but we have this fool proof system called "talking about it". Really groundbreaking stuff, pioneered in the last two years, were early adopters.
"cut him off"
I asked for advice on how to handle seeing my ex best friend because he would always try to provoke me or start arguments when I'd see him, and I'd see him often because we have mutual friends.
I mentioned in one line that my husband never liked the friend, and as a result I got 20+ people telling me I'm a horrible wife and I should have cut my friend off as soon as my husband said anything, and I should be focusing on my marriage instead of my friend, and I'm probably having an emotional affair because I'm getting emotionally close to another man and I seem "overly attached" to him. I argued with a few people, but they were all certain my relationship was being destroyed by my actions and my "defensiveness" was a sign I'm just a cheating witch trying to cover it up.
They started discussing in the comments how they felt sorry for my husband being married to someone like me.
So I asked my husband about it. He literally laughed and asked me where I got that idea, then told me I shouldn't take advice from reddit people.
No one gave me any advice for dealing with my friend except "cut him off", which I was already doing.
We like him now....cat boyfriend GIF by Tiffany Giphy
It reminded me that the only opinion that truly matters is mine.
Posted using a throwaway account about how my family doesn't like that my boyfriend isn't like my sister's husband. I'm glad I took the advice to stick to my guns as it turns out my brother in law is a crappy person at times. And I mean its like my sister contemplated divorce levels of bad. My parents realized that my boyfriend isn't that bad after all and they accept him now.
I posted looking for advice regarding a girl I was getting close with but who wasn't ready for a relationship.
The advice was actually pretty decent: -Take care of your own feelings first. -It might not be the right timing for you two. -etc etc...
Well we're not in a relationship and we're not the same kind of close anymore. Oh well, such is life. We're still good friends though so I think it turned out the best way possible.
Granted I had a pretty run of the mill relationship problem and was looking for a place to vent and get some sound advice. So I'd say it served its purpose for me.
I've seen some people get real help there getting a push to run from a toxic partner and that is good but lately I felt like it's not a good place for someone like me who's never sure of their relationships and feelings you might get swayed too easily.
Be Better Redditors....
Oh God, sometimes I lurk there for the free cringe. The Redditors that frequent that sub have some serious issues they need to address. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/family issue? Well, better break up with them, tell them to hit the road, divorce them, or cut them out of your life completely. It's pretty ridiculous. Those people have some deep seeded family or attachment issues, it's pretty sad.
I See You...
Taking the advice of relationship advice, my ex decided to continue to flirt with her co worker and let our 10 year relationship fall apart. Ended up leaving her and meeting a much better partner and she ended up getting a UTI (from said co worker) and is still single 1 year later. Best part was when one savvy Redditor went through her history and saw that she posted about her crush while complaining about her relationship with me. She deleted the post shortly after but long enough for me to see it.
The Execution....tea gossip GIF by Wendy Williams Giphy
I feel like I have never gotten terrible advice but however was terrible at executing the advice therefore ending any chance I had at having the relationship happen. Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.
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People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>
Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>
Being Used<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>
Hiding The Receipts<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>
Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>
How Do You Do This To Someone<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>
Be My Friend And Not Theirs<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>
Victim Time<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>
Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>
Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>
Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional Laws<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>
For the Face Plant Image<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>
A Mammal of Few Words<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>
Baggage<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>
Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>
Not Wrong<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>
Watch the News Before Saying This One<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>
Got a Million of Em<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>
G-Pa With the Physics Humor<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>
A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>
Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedy
to try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?
Wrapped Up<p>Dad had to saran wrap a guy's intestines back into his body once.</p><p>Dude had surgery and pushed too hard on the toilet. Dude was fine, according to Dad, just holding himself together on the toilet while a group of firefighters tried to figure out why the hell they were sent instead of paramedics.</p><p><em>Update</em> When he pushed too hard he opened a scar on his torso/ab area and it all fell out onto his lap. Should have mentioned this when I wrote the post. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko9lq0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">noblemile</a><span></span></p>
Flesh<p>One that stuck with me was a suicide in a bathtub, we couldn't drain the tub, so had to use a coagulant then scoop up the bloody mess into biohazard bags. Same for the toilet. Another was a suicide by gun in a basement full of boxes which was a nightmare to clean as even the smallest bit of flesh had to be found and cleaned up. The smell of the smallest piece of flesh meant the job wasn't done until it was found. </p>
Walk Away<p>Medic here, first responder to a motorcycle collision. Guy who crashed was a friend. He'd been torn in half and almost decapitated.</p><p>Had to walk away from the scene and let my driver and another crew handle it. Think about it daily. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko4y58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sabre-23</a><span></span></p>
All over the House<p>I posted this on another thread so just copy and pasted it but this was one that I had to do</p><p>Clean up after a murder. It was a rehab house for ex cons, 4 bedroom house with communal bathroom and kitchen. Sunday morning and guy A is in his room listening to music pretty loud, guy B is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, B knocks on A's door and tells him to turn it down, there's a small argument and B returns to his breakfast and A turns his music up. So B grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen, kicks in A's door and stabs him through his left shoulder, entering by his collar bone. </p>
"ride-alongs"<p>Not a cleaner, but my brother's best friend is a police officer and I heard all about this horrible experience:</p><p>My brother's friend took him on "ride-alongs," all the time. One day, they were responding to a welfare check. This guy's neighbor saw his apartment door cracked open for several days and called the police. They went to check it out and found a college student (18-19) who had shot himself. </p>
Melt Away<p>When I was a bartender, a couple of clients told me the worst part about the job is cleaning melted bodies.</p><p>I don't know the science behind that, but from what I understand is if a body stays for a while in a certain condition of temperature and humidity, it melts. And those guys have to remove that person's remains in buckets. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknsqfm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaynny</a><span></span></p>
Audrey<p>I had a great uncle who helped clean up the bodies left behind by hurricane Audrey in 1957 and he said that the smell persisted in his nose for weeks after. It got so bad that he went to the doctor to see if they could do anything and they clipped all of his nose hairs and the smell went away. It was explained to him that the smell had soaked into the hair but I don't claim to know the validity of that statement.</p>
Hazard<p>One of my first jobs after moving I did this, and the job that had me walking wasn't even a scene as described. We did all types of hazmat cleans and the worst was actually a couple went on vacation and came back to backed up sceptic. Think about 1 ft thick hard dried out crusty sceptic waste spread throughout the entire 1st floor of a house. Not going further into detail here. Was nasty.</p><p>Septic, not sceptic. On break and mobile, so yeah... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknvzn8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kamenovski</a><span></span></p>
After the Crash...<p>Working for a tow truck driver that get the calls after crashes. The worst one for me was a family of 6 coming back with over 10 pizzas for a baseball team. It was a head on with a tractor trailer (18 wheeler). The ambulance took the bodies away of course, everyone died but one little guy. There was so much blood and vomit, diapers, toy dolls covered in blood, the pizza was everywhere inside of the car like 2" thick on everything and all over the road. </p>
Fresh Meat<p>Friend of mine does this.</p><p>His worst was an elderly woman who died in a bath. Skin falls off like long cooked meat. So he just saw piles of skin/flesh</p><p>God just writing this makes me gag. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknwqwu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlagueDoc22</a><span></span></p>
We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.
What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.