Never ask the internet for anything meaningful. Yes it's great for finding Chinese food at midnight or to Wiki a band from the 80's but when it comes to medical issues and matters of the heart... be smarter. The net is made up of billions of voices with their own agendas who may be off their own meds because of similar issues. Maybe not the most stable environment for life advice. Just a thought.
Redditor u/mordor_fire wanted to discuss all the reasons we should all NEVER ask the web for help with love by asking..... Redditors who took terrible advice from r/relationshipadvice? What happened?
SURPRISE!!
Kristen Wiig Surprise GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyOne post that stood out for me was a guy asking for advice after finding out his girl was lying to him about where she went one afternoon.
The whole comment section rallied with torches and pitchforks, telling him she's cheating and he should just leave.
Anyway, turned out she lied cause she got him a lovely birthday present (a snake, cause the guy loves snakes) and met up with a breeder that afternoon to sort everything out. Glad the dude didn't listen and just asked her what happened instead.
The Dog Way
I didn't follow the terrible advice that they gave me. I posted there once basically to rant that my girlfriend and her roommates had given a temporal home to a street dog, and now that they had to move the roommates wanted to get rid of the dog (put it to sleep or put it back in the street) because their new apartment didn't accept pets. So I took the dog in my home and I was stressed because it was the first week and the dog was a handful, and the roommates didn't care at all.
Relationship advice? Give the dog to a shelter (because you will never love it) and break up with my gf (because she's a horrible person and you will resent her. A user literally said "this is the beginning of the end of your relationship).
What did I do? Talk with my gf, tell her I felt frustrated and that I really disliked that she and her friends had taken the dog out of the streets without thinking of the future. She told me she understood that and that she was going to pay for everything the dog needed until we (as a couple) could move in together, but that she wasn't going to act like the dog wasn't her responsibility.
2 years later, she has always paid for the food, vet, check ups, everything. And we're moving in together soon and taking the dog with us. So yeah, I'm glad I didn't listed to that terrible advice.
Edit: Apparently you can't mention a dog in reddit without posting pics so here's a picture of my dog https://imgur.com/a/a3O1t7m
All the Hands....
On one hand, they helped me get the courage to leave a legitimately toxic relationship (dude was super controlling and manipulative, and was cheating on me the entire time). Then again, I also consulted with other people in my actual life like my parents and friends.
On the other hand, they also told me to just walk up and kiss, without asking, my best friend whom I had a crush on. I was asking how I should talk to him about my feelings in a way that WASN'T going to be awkward if he didn't feel the same.
Also, asked opinions on if a guy i was talking to was planning on ghosting me. Everyone assumed he was seeing another woman and that i should just let him go. Ended up asking him instead, and turns out he was having trouble with his anxiety and depression, and that he was too afraid to talk about it with me because he didn't want to scare me away, and that he wasn't just neglecting me. He was very appreciative that I asked him what was going on.
The Gem
I've been the subject of horrible advice there but never posted myself. My ex posted about me on there and then made me read the comments. Basically using this forum to justify his thinking that I was the worst and he was a victim. Like dude you literally made me read hate mail until I cried, you were never the gem you thought you were.
Also, he ended up trying to cheat on me with my best friend. She locked herself in the bathroom until I got home so she could tell me what happened.
A Family Affair
smh GIFGiphySaw a kid posting about how he wasn't getting along with his parents (they were making him work or something normal parents do), and Reddit told him he should basically confront them and tell them off. Next update post said that they kicked him out of the house... not positive but I think the Reddit lynch mob dropped the ball on that one.
Foolish
There was a this guy who went on reddit asking for advice about his wife asking for a divorce. A user suggested he consult with all the lawyers in the area so that there would be some kind of conflict of interest and they would not be able to consult his wife. He ended up getting soooo screwed because his wife's lawyer knew what he was doing and threatened stuff to make him stop. OP ended up divorced iirc....
The Downvote....
I once argued with someone there that FIRST the person should speak openly and honestly about what's bothering them before going straight to leaving. They responded "I figure if they're posting for advice on Reddit, they've already taken the logical steps". Oh how wrong you are, my friend, and yet I got downvoted.
No thanks....
I didn't take the advice provided. I asked for help and tips into making a relationship healthy and how to communicate properly, as my parents had a very toxic relationship and I don't have much of an idea of what an actually healthy relationship looks like. I included a bit of my parent's relationship as an example of what I want to avoid. My boyfriend treats me amazingly and he's an absolute precious sweetheart. I made sure to include this in the post to avoid having to deal with some misconceptions.
Well, guess what, I got told over and over to break up and to leave my boyfriend, that if it would be a good relationship I wouldn't have to ask for advice. Some people straight up told me that my parent's relationship is great and I should follow their footsteps...... my father is an abusive alcoholic and my mother a mentally abusive one. No. No freaking thank you.
After about 2O comments telling me to leave this wonderful man and encouraging a lot of the negative behavior shown from my parents, I just deleted the post and took a long long break from that subreddit.
"we need to try to fix this."
I wasn't the one getting advice, my girlfriend was. We had been together 6 years. Honestly, it had been long distance for a year, we were drifting apart, it definitely wouldn't have lasted regardless. But I went to her place for the weekend (again, long distance at that point so that's the only time I'd see her), and she point blank said it was over, there would be no changing her mind, it isn't up for discussion, go home.
It's kinda crazy but I knew she used Reddit but I didn't and didn't know what it was. A couple months later I started using it and found her by random coincidence. She was commenting on a news article directly related to her team at her University and based on the username there's no way it could have been anyone else. I made the mistake of looking at her profile and seeing she was very active in relationship advice and once I learned how that place operates it all made sense.
This was about 6 years ago at this point and it still effects me. After that much time, I feel I was at least owed the honest discussion of "we need to try to fix this." She was such a major part of my life that it really messed me up for a while. I almost lost my job due to constant panic attacks, just generally being super unstable, etc. Again, it never would've lasted anyway, but those a--holes telling her to immediately break all ties with me hurt me worse than anything in my life and it still has lasting effects.
Why Bother?
Confused Gwyneth Paltrow GIFGiphyGod i never go on that sub anymore because everyone's solution is just to break up, even if its something small like not getting a haircut. "Well if he doesn't want to cut his hair for you that means he doesn't value you or care about you as a person, break up with him." Like ??? I wasn't even complaining about his long hair though??
The Sob Story
I posted years ago, because my then bf and I had a fight. He was religious, I wasn't and the fight seemed to be about that. Reddit told me to break up, this wouldn't work out.
What I didn't realize was, that we didn't fight about religion but about our expectations of our relationship. Once we got that behind we had a great time. We got married last week, after 6 years together.
In case you wonder if this is just some made-up sob story:
Looking for Red
lns209 looking GIF by truTV's Late Night SnackGiphyI never posted but used to read stories on there all the time. I eventually had to stop because I started getting overly suspicious about my husband. It was ridiculous, I was constantly looking for red flags in our relationship and ended up being the red flag. I haven't been back on there in years.
Let's Chat
It wasn't relationship advice but it was another online advice thing called lyf. Basically when I first started seeing my boyfriend I noticed he was paying a little less attention to me (he did have a lot.going on at the time as well, also things get less intense after a bit and I do have a habit of overthinking until I panic). He said he'd come with me to pick up a bike and I was calling and messaging him all day but couldn't get a response and I was starting to run out of time till I had to go. One person just said "you need to end it, he doesn't respect you enough" basically.
He responded just in the nick of time for me to pick him up to get this bike, and immediately when he got in the car and saw how upset I was, he apologized and explained because he had stayed late to help pack up after a big event. (which I know was true because I had stayed to help for a bit too) It ended up going on way longer than expected and, with everything else, he had just been so exhausted he slept through his alarms, my phone calls etc.
It's over a year later now and we're fine, just moved into a house together. We have problems sometimes but we have this fool proof system called "talking about it". Really groundbreaking stuff, pioneered in the last two years, were early adopters.
"cut him off"
I asked for advice on how to handle seeing my ex best friend because he would always try to provoke me or start arguments when I'd see him, and I'd see him often because we have mutual friends.
I mentioned in one line that my husband never liked the friend, and as a result I got 20+ people telling me I'm a horrible wife and I should have cut my friend off as soon as my husband said anything, and I should be focusing on my marriage instead of my friend, and I'm probably having an emotional affair because I'm getting emotionally close to another man and I seem "overly attached" to him. I argued with a few people, but they were all certain my relationship was being destroyed by my actions and my "defensiveness" was a sign I'm just a cheating witch trying to cover it up.
They started discussing in the comments how they felt sorry for my husband being married to someone like me.
So I asked my husband about it. He literally laughed and asked me where I got that idea, then told me I shouldn't take advice from reddit people.
No one gave me any advice for dealing with my friend except "cut him off", which I was already doing.
We like him now....
cat boyfriend GIF by TiffanyGiphyIt reminded me that the only opinion that truly matters is mine.
Posted using a throwaway account about how my family doesn't like that my boyfriend isn't like my sister's husband. I'm glad I took the advice to stick to my guns as it turns out my brother in law is a crappy person at times. And I mean its like my sister contemplated divorce levels of bad. My parents realized that my boyfriend isn't that bad after all and they accept him now.
You First
I posted looking for advice regarding a girl I was getting close with but who wasn't ready for a relationship.
The advice was actually pretty decent: -Take care of your own feelings first. -It might not be the right timing for you two. -etc etc...
Well we're not in a relationship and we're not the same kind of close anymore. Oh well, such is life. We're still good friends though so I think it turned out the best way possible.
Granted I had a pretty run of the mill relationship problem and was looking for a place to vent and get some sound advice. So I'd say it served its purpose for me.
The Toxicity
I've seen some people get real help there getting a push to run from a toxic partner and that is good but lately I felt like it's not a good place for someone like me who's never sure of their relationships and feelings you might get swayed too easily.
Be Better Redditors....
Oh God, sometimes I lurk there for the free cringe. The Redditors that frequent that sub have some serious issues they need to address. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/family issue? Well, better break up with them, tell them to hit the road, divorce them, or cut them out of your life completely. It's pretty ridiculous. Those people have some deep seeded family or attachment issues, it's pretty sad.
I See You...
Taking the advice of relationship advice, my ex decided to continue to flirt with her co worker and let our 10 year relationship fall apart. Ended up leaving her and meeting a much better partner and she ended up getting a UTI (from said co worker) and is still single 1 year later. Best part was when one savvy Redditor went through her history and saw that she posted about her crush while complaining about her relationship with me. She deleted the post shortly after but long enough for me to see it.
The Execution....
tea gossip GIF by Wendy WilliamsGiphyI feel like I have never gotten terrible advice but however was terrible at executing the advice therefore ending any chance I had at having the relationship happen. Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.