Experiences That Completely Stole Someone's Joy
Life is hard.
The sooner we learn and embrace that fact, the better off we are.
It's going to be complicated most of the time and happiness comes in intervals.
So embrace happiness hard and fast.
Because joy can be sucked out of your life in the blink of an eye.
Not trying to be sour, just truthful.
Redditor Nolan asked about the times people were left with nothing but a frown:
"What stole your joy? Why do you not have the same zest for life that you once did?"
I feel like my joy was taken with age. But I'm a downer.
Evil WinsI Did A Thing GIFGiphy
"Knowing Bad people win. Not like in movies I enjoy watching. Heroes are silenced or killed early on and the scummiest die peacefully getting away with everything."
F the Big C
"Incurable, inoperable brain cancer at 36."
"Edit: diagnosed at 34, not 36."
"Hey Hey, mine was at 30, still here 7 years later... no idea how long its been for you BUT although it was always on my mind pretty constantly for the first 4 years, now I have long periods of time (hours, a day) without really thinking about it (and not because of my brain friend chipping away at my memory)!"
"Chronic illness and chronic pain!"
"8 years ago I ate some bad shrimp and got a 3 day long case of food poisoning... and then never got better."
"I've had an 8 year battle with ME/CFS and lost the majority of my 20s to it."
"The pain of knowing that no matter what I do, no matter what happens now, I can never get these years back, takes something from me that I can't explain in words, and knowing that it's going to take more of them is even worse."
Passion into Work
"I turned my hobby into my profession. Now I don't have a hobby anymore and I enjoy doing what I do less now that I need to do it in order to get money."
"I studied Physics and Astronomy because I had a passion for it as a child. The coursework was extremely difficult, which was okay. The gatekeeping attitude from professors and peers is what killed it for me."
"I was constantly reminded that I was not smart enough to be worth anything in the field. I completed my degree absolutely burnt out and devoid of my initial love. Years later I came back to astronomy as the hobbyist I initially was and accepted that I was much happier not trying to be a professional."
ZappedJames Earl Jones Reaction GIFGiphy
"Upon my husband's death, I learned he lived a double life and had given our savings and my children's college funds to his paramour. Fortunes come and go, but stealing 25 years of my life to live his lies, zapped my joy."
Death really is the worst. I hate death.
PainHeadache I Cant GIF by Solomon RayGiphy
"IIHC. Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension."
"Constant headaches, head pressure, Tinnitus, and vision issues."
"Idiopathic, means they don't know sh*t about anything. Just 'try these meds for 3 months and come back.'"
It broke me...
"Loss... I lost my dad to cancer. This set off a lot of issues with my mom, depression, alcoholism, medicine abuse, and I was in a different city far away doing my master thesis. I was 23 and I don't have any siblings. It broke me. I used to go around with a smile on my face by default, but that disappeared."
"I've found lots of joy afterwards, but it sure was an experience I still suffer from."
"Being blind. Realizing no matter how good I become at something, able bodied people will and are better. Realizing that I can be an amazing something and never get anything more than you are good for a blind person."
"F**k, that hit me hard. I am only half blind, and have mild cerebral palsy, but I've always been utter s**t at any physical activities. I started doing karate, and despite working hard for the past couple of years."
"There's still not a single mildly experienced able-bodied person I can defeat. I've lost all joy in it because I know I'll never be good enough. I'm too tired to even try anymore. And I know it'll be like that with any physical activity I try, which is absolutely crushing as I am a very competitive person by nature."
"Spouse and 3 kids died in an accident. People said it would take time to feel joy again, but it’s been over a decade now without much change."
"I enjoy little things from day to day now, but there’s no larger point anymore. Life is mostly just a chore."
"Halloween made 5 years since my wife and son died. She was 8 months pregnant. He was our first. He died 35 hours later in the NICU. You are absolutely correct. I don't have nor can I find 'big picture' happiness. Just the random day to day uptick that is welcome, but I know it is temporary."
HopelessFrustrated Kill Me GIFGiphy
"The realization that no matter what I do, no matter how many hours I work, I'll still never be able to get ahead. Working just to have little to nothing to show for it doesn't feel great."
Well this is a lot. Why is joy hard? But we're rooting for you and your happiness, dear reader.
Do you have any "joy zaps" to add? Let us know in the comments.
Men Explain Which F**ked Up Things They're Supposed To Be Okay With Because They're Men
Why are men forced to be things they're not?
We are too far along as a society not to let the boys grow and evolve.
A good cry, a good laugh, a song, hug, a dance it out... can help anybody.
Or maybe just watch an episode of 'Grey's Anatomy.'
Redditor 040607AJF wanted all the guys out there to share how they "feel" so they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what is something f**ked up that you're supposed to be okay with because you're a man?"
Gents, it's time to start healing and growing.
Go to sleepSwitch Off Good Night GIF by GunmaunofficialGiphy
"Having sex whenever she's in the mood. And if I say no she thinks something wrong with her so you get pressured into doing it so she won't be mad or feel sad."
"30 year old male from India. Lost my dad 20 days back in an accident Relatives and well wishers spend time talking and pacifying mom/sister and listen to them with patience. To me before they leave- 'Now it's your responsibility to take care of your mom/sister' and nothing else."
"What about my grief of losing a parent? How do I handle it? Who is going to pacify me? Who listens to me? Without support from my wife and my friends, I could have gone insane the way people expect me to treat grief."
"Depression and loneliness, as much as I wish I could say the support gotten better it hasn’t. I see the 'mens mental health awareness month' bulls**t all over social media for a day once a year but then nobody speaks about it. Being depressed or saying you’re lonely can often be seen as a cry for attention or a 'red flag' for partners."
"People on social media think posting some picture of 'We need to support our men in the world!' Is going help, it doesn’t. If you legitimately care about the men in your life’s mental health please reach out to them and ask how they’ve been. Don’t compare to them and don’t undermine them just understand them. It does so much for them."
“figure it out”
"The fact that a lot of men have no guidance and are supposed to just figure s**t out or just know yet people will treat you like s**t for not knowing."
"When I was younger I was always told to 'figure it out' cause I’m a man. Every time I needed help whether it be homework, a flat tire, or something I genuinely needed help with like applying for college/fafsa I was turned away because it was my problem. Now if any family needs my help I’m demonized if I say no. Like wtf man I was taught not to bother y’all why are y’all bothering me?!?"
911Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"You can ask for my help, but I can't ask for yours."
Leave me be...
"Some women should understand that men can be 'not in the mood' as well. I don't know why many people think that men will never say 'no.' I saw many on Twitter, sadly both men and women, thinking that men are these cartoonish wolves that will start salivating and have their eyes turn into hearts when anyone mentions the word 'sex.'"
Out of the Norm
"Getting weird judgment from others for not conforming to the ‘traditional’ male role in a marriage or family. My wife is a highly driven genius, makes a great living, and loves what she does. I’m full time in the arts, and I’m not completely dependent on her, but I don’t have traditional employment or make a lot of money."
"I’ve had people in my life (especially older people) throw shade at me for not being ambitious enough or not having a real career. But together we’re doing much better than okay, and I’m probably gonna be the main caretaker when/if we have kids. I feel that if she were a man and I were a woman, nobody would question it at all."
"We aren't taught how to deal with emotions. (Mental health too)."
"I'm not advocating for men to be super-soft emotional wrecks, or to cry five times a week. But man I wish I knew I wasn't 'wrong' or 'weak' or 'avoiding becoming a man' just because I was sad, depressed, anxious and trying to deal with past events."
"So many women in my lifetime have acted like I’m not a strong guy because I show emotion. I have a big heart and I’m not going to change that for anyone. But I’ve had relationships take an immediate downturn when I showed any kind of sensitive side."
A New LeafBradley Cooper Teacher GIF by Legendary EntertainmentGiphy
"That If I ever finish my AA and teach preschool that I’ll be seen as a threat to children."
"I have known two men attempt to enter the teaching profession. My advice is don't! It really is not worth your time."
Oh gents, we all still have a long way to go.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
When singles finally find a romantic partner after what may have seemed like an eternal love drought, they make sure they put in all the effort it takes to keep that relationship going strong.
However, there are those who are convinced that the love they found is too good to be true–probably because they may feel they don't deserve it or because they have doubts.
That's the thing about those who don't trust a good thing when it happens. Their skepticism can be all-consuming and it can lead to self-sabotaging the relationship.
Curious to hear from those who struggle with the "what ifs" in their relationship, Redditor DinoNuggieVape asked:
"How do you cope with the fear of your partner cheating on you?"
A certain hobby is more likely to prevent wandering eyes.
Commitment To Knitting
"I’ve been cheated on by my only other long term partner beside my wife. I don’t worry about my wife because 1.) I trust her and 2.) having an affair would cut too much into her knitting time. Hell, I feel like 'the other man' when compared to yarn."
"As someone who crochets, I’m sure this is how my partner feels 😂"
"Mine sews. You're said the Perfect comment. I once complained to my wife about being second love. She sewed me a blanket, and it's now my most comfortable possession. Find the right one for you."
Fixating on the possibility is the bigger problem, according to these love experts.
"By coming to terms with the FACT that there is literally nothing you can do to control what another person chooses to do."
Find Your Self-Worth
"Too many people hang on to the idea of 'I can’t live without this person' love."
"Yeah, you can. Realizing you can exist on your own and be fulfilled. After that? You’ll realize you can survive a cheater."
Finding Independence In Love
"I can't live without this person"
"That's not love. It's obsession. Once you realize you don't need the other person to live, you can start to truly love them."
"This. I had two partners (possibly three, not sure on the last one) that cheated on me. The first one I know for sure. It feels absolutely soul wrecking. So I do know how it feels. But I do also know the signs and what to look out for. Investigating phones or emails or listening for hushed conversations aside, the biggest tell tale is in the personality change. It happens 100% of the time. That is at least from talking to other people about it has led me to conclude anyway. You can always tell. And if you suspect, you could well be right."
"I'm not Mr. Paranoid or anything, but the reality is if she's going to cheat on you, then it's going to happen. There is nothing you can do, if it's going to happen, you can't control it. What you can control however is your reaction to it. And mine is very simple. End of relationship, block contact, see you later. The second time it happened to me, I didn't even offer an explanation. Her friend contacted me at some point asking why I had cold cut her out of my life and how it was so f'ked up of me to do so. I simply responded that I knew she was screwing someone behind my back, to which her friend replied, 'Oh you know about that? Well it really doesn't matter, it's you she wants!' I don't think I actually responded, I hung up."
"Getting past that business for the second time was remarkably easy. She had a few things left at my place which went into the bin, hoovered my house, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, threw out the few bits in the fridge as I used to get some food items that she liked but I never used, total clean out. I didn't feel the need to go nail a new girl that instant, instead spent the evening playing some guitar and watched a movie. I was perfectly happy and was done with the whole thing in an evening practically."
The pain cuts deep, but these Redditors learned to move on.
Trust Goes A Long Way
"I’ve been cheated on by every partner I’ve ever had. I just got married 6 months ago to the only person I’ve ever actually trusted. It comes natural which is crazy… i do have moments where i het intrusive thoughts at random like 'what if…' but i snap myself out of it and remind myself how truly trustworthy this man is and how i know he loves me. A lot of commenters seem to not understand that being cheated on can cause a type of ptsd. It’s something you just work through."
"Agree, my ex cheated on me 16 years ago and I think I will always have some doubts. My wife, who I've been with over 12 years, has never once done anything that would make me think she would cheat on me, and I trust her completely, but that trauma from 16 years ago is is still there, rearing it's ugly head from time to time."
I find that being obsessed with the possibility of one cheating on another can manifest in ways that jeopardize a solid relationship.
It's more important to appreciate being in the moment when something is going well, whether it's a relationship or anything else applicable.
Because fixating on the "what ifs" can take up a lot of energy that could be better spent on enjoying a healthy relationship.
While your instincts are usually reliable, always remember that communicating a doubt that is becoming an obsession is vital to sustaining a trusting and respectful relationship.
Doctors And Scientists Break Down The Most Terrifying Diseases People Can Suffer From
Ever since the global pandemic hit in March 2020, we found ourselves becoming a bit more cognizant of protecting ourselves from contagious diseases.
Sadly, masks, face shields, and hand sanitizer can't protect us from everything.
Some diseases are simply in our DNA and will begin wreaking havoc on our bodies without any sort of warning.
Many of these diseases come with symptoms that we'd only thought could be found in horror movies.
"Doctors/biologists of Reddit, what is the most terrifying disease you can get?"
They Can't See As Clearly As They Think
"Anton syndrome: maybe not the scariest but definitely still very strange and distressing."
"Essentially you get bilateral visual cortex strokes (with some parietal cortex damage), so you’re completely blind."
"But you don’t know you’re blind."
"These people will swear on their mother’s grave that they can see, but then walk straight into a wall."
"Imagine going the rest of your life genuinely believing you can see, despite constantly being told otherwise."- Spiritual-Gap3695·
A Living Statue
"Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva."
"Your muscles and tendons slowly turn to bone rendering you immobile, in constant pain due to pinched nerves, and unable to speak or eat."
"You basically just become a fully sentient statue that is in constant agony."- ky1esty1e
Too Many To Choose From...
"fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva."
"Slowly turn into bone."
"Towards the end you have to choose whether you want to be laying down or sitting."
"You can either get the generic kind or the random kind."
"Either way you will never sleep again."
"I’m also partial to Ebola and Prion diseases."
"Shout out also to alien hand syndrome, cotard delusion, capgras delusion, visual agnosia, and koro."
"Also, there is a special kind of hell for Alzheimer’s and Lewy Body dementia."- TheRealDannySugar
Why You Must Stay Up To Date On Vaccines!
"The extreme clenching of every muscle in your body until your teeth shatter, bones break, and your body constricts itself to death."
"We are constantly reminded of this disease, but with vaccination and modern medicine, people are mostly unaware of how horrible it can be outside of historical and medical texts."
It Affects More People Than You Think
'ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease."
"Or any neurodegenerative disease, for that matter."- NuMD97
Thank Goodness For Modern Science
"Despite the fact that we have a vaccine for it, I have been absolutely petrified of diphtheria since reading 'The Cruelest Miles.'"
"Without treatment, the thought of slowly choking to death on mucus membranes covering your lymph nodes... terrifying."- GlowCavern
"I’m gonna go with prion diseases."
"They can hang out in your body for decades before causing symptoms, have no known treatments, and are very difficult to destroy."
"I’m also personally uncomfortable with the idea of proteins in my body misfolding."
"My nightmare scenario is a CWD becoming transmissible to humans."- Mirrorflute88
'Biologist - prion disease is terrifying."
"They're a kind of protein that is the 'wrong way' ( think mirror image) and other proteins they encounter mimic them."
"So a healthy normal protein encounters an abnormally folded prion and re-folds itself the way the prion is folded."
"This creates a chain reaction and results in neurodegeneration and encephalopathy (holes in the brain)."
"Think mad cow disease (aka, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease CJD)."
"It is always fatal and is contracted by eating brain/neural tissue)."
"F*cking terrifying."- ticklewhales
The Dreaded C-Word
"Resident doctor here."
"A terrifying type of illness I haven't seen mentioned yet are head and neck cancers in general."
"They tend to have a terrible quality of life they can have due to masses pushing into their airways or esophagus."
"Had a patient not long ago with a kind of throat cancer caused by HPV which led his bottom teeth needing to be removed and not being able to eat solid food."- Reddit
Hang On To Those Memories
"I would say Alzheimer's."
"Imagine forgetting everything and everyone you loved."
"Imagine slowly forgetting how to do things, how to walk, eat, drink and talk."
"Eventually you die because you forget how to breathe."
"To me that's pretty horrifying, and think of the family members who see them going through that!"- InFiniTeDEATH8
No Known Antidote
"I’m not sure if this is considered a disease but I would say radiation poisoning could be the worst."
"Depending on isotope and the level of exposure radiation can do some absolutely twisted sh*t to the human body."- S0M3D1CK
Only One Thing On the Menu For Them...
"Flesh eating is just as f*cked up as all the rest , you never know if its all cut-out or not until it f*cking eats your leg."- gotbetterbro
Trapped In Your Own Body
'You’re cognitively there, but you cannot move any part of your body."- Softconcrete579
Talk About Skin Crawling
"Surprised no one has mentioned pemphigus."
"It is extremely rare, but it is it an awful way to go."
"Schwarzschild died of it, you know, the guy that calculated the 'Schwarzschild radius'."
"Yeah, turns out you haven't heard of him for anything else in physics was his early, horrifying demise to pemphigus." -Reddit
Depends On The Circumstances
"Without modern medicine: plague making your blood septic and rotten."
"Without knowledge of what is happening: rabies."
"Without the support of others: alzheimers."- cherrycoloredcheeks
Perhaps the most frightening thing about all these bone-chilling diseases and illnesses?
They could happen to literally anyone.
People Reveal The Most Disturbing Piece Of Information They've Learned About Someone They Know
You never know anyone quite as well as you think you do.
Even your closest friends and family members have a way of surprising you upon revealing something about their past, or their interests and hobbies.
Sometimes, however, surprised doesn't even begin to cover how you feel about what you just learned.
Some people are so good at covering up sad, dark, even despicable elements of their lives, that you would never have known had you not somehow found out yourself.
Even if it's debatable whether or not you're better off knowing this information.
"What's the most disturbing piece of information you've found out about someone you've known personally?"
Never Who You Might Expect
"Years ago, I became very close with a manager of mine and we hung out after work pretty often."
"He seemed like a genuinely great guy."
"He moved back to his hometown years later and we kept in touch on Facebook until he just stopped responding."
"Then I went to try to message him again and his profile was gone."
"I decided to google him, half expecting to find an obituary or something but instead I found out he was charged with some sh*t and in jail."
"I never got any kind of weird vibes from him and I'm still shocked."- CocoTandy
"I know a girl from my hometown who would have Skype calls with Ian Watkins (lost prophets) horrific man."
"The Skype calls involved her child."- vapekittenx
Doesn't Make Him Any Less Guilty
"My uncle on my dad's side of the family was an accomplice of a murder in the 80’s."
"He didn’t make the kill, but he helped the murder take place."
"Found out by my mom last year."- X0vel
Old Habits Die Hard
"When I was about 12 my family found out that my dad cheated on my mom, as well as every other ex-wife he had before her."
'Now, years later, women still recognize my mom as the one who was married to that one awful guy."
"One woman met her in a bar and ended up telling her stories about how my dad would stalk her again and again."
"Once she even had to call her own dad to escort him off their property because he wouldn’t leave."
'All of this happened while he was married to my mom."- Ryry_Duppie
There Are No Words...
"He honestly believed he was God's chosen representative on Earth, and therefore, no one was allowed to defy him or God would allow him to punish him."
"As you can guess, he was charged with domestic battery several times, and got into a lot of fights (he usually lost, he was obese, and couldn't move very fast)."
"He was stalking some poor woman, and he showed up at her house and demanded she leave her husband and come with him as God had given her to him as his slave, and he tried to force his way in, and she shot and killed him."
"We're a castle doctrine state, so she didn't get in any trouble."- Local64bithero
"In my teens I knew a guy recently out of prison."
"There was another guy in the neighborhood who everyone hated."
"He would just cruise the block in his car because anytime he stayed anywhere too long, people would confront him."
"Everyone hated this guy."
"Prison guy was in his late teens, guy everyone hated was in his early twenties and dating a girl who I believe was sixteen."
"Not long after getting out prison guy got into it with the guy everyone hated."
"It wasn't difficult, the guy was just incapable of acting in a way that didn't make you want to punch him."
"But he couldn't fight so he'd make himself scarce and then good luck finding him."
"But prison guy wasn't giving up so easily so he kidnapped the other guy's girlfriend."
"Nothing cinematic he just went by her school and got her in a car then told her she wasn't allowed to leave until her boyfriend showed up."
"Boyfriend, not one to back down from a scumbag contest, told her she's on her own."
"In the end the girl ended up dating prison guy."
"I don't even know who the story is about anymore."
"They were all very unique people."- MrFunktasticc
Refused To Believe Her
"My grandfather was a very big/loved name in my local community, and after he died my grandmother revealed that he was very abusive."
"It only became more disturbing when everyone cut her off because they loved him so much they refused to believe her."- MediaGullible282
Gave Away A Little Too Much?
"A random former acquaintance got very drunk in front of me and heavily insinuated that he had gotten away with murder several years earlier as an enforcer in a street gang."- stoplightdrop
Manipulating People's Compassion
"This is probably tame compared to others on here but my ex-best-friend lied about having brain cancer for 2 years."
"She also impersonated drs to verify her story to the people she was lying to."- SpeckledCloud
Why, One Wonders...
"I’ve worked w two people who faked pregnancies."
'One was a guy who said his girlfriend was pregnant and wasn’t dragged that on for months."
"Another was a woman who said she was pregnant and dragged it on for months and months until our employers caught on."- elizscott1977
Currying Favor Doesn't Always Work...
"That a close relative was only being nice to me because they would Inherit my belongings after I died."
"Let's just say that side of the relatives don't exist for me anymore."- No-Power1377
It's truly unsettling how good some people are at hiding their true selves.
Making you wonder if you can really trust anyone...
If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault, help is out there. You can reach the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline by calling 1-800-656-4673, use their Live Chat tool: https://www.rainn.org/get-help, or visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.
In Canada, help is available through the Ending Violence Association of Canada website.
International resources can be found through the Rape Crisis Network Europe website.