Major purchases like cars, houses, that bomb $250 pair of Japanese denim jeans that hug your curves and make your thighs feel thick - but not bad thick - good thick, like powerful sexy M'baku thighs. Like you could take the stage as Lady Legasus - them kinda jeans. Yeah, that stuff is all an investment.
We know they're going to last a long time, be there for us, and as long as we're good to them, they are usually well worth the cost. So why don't more people have them?
In the words of the philosopher Todrick Hall, "That sh*t's expensive."
Let's imagine things don't totally suck right now. You have money to invest and you're ready to get the most bang for your buck. So what should you get?
For that we turn to the experts, Reddit:
There are so many things on this list that we never would have thought of. Never really considered myself the kind of girl that needed a backhoe in her life... but I'm clearly wrong about that.
An Old Truck
23 years ago, I bought a used 1991 Toyota 4-cylinder truck. Paid it off early. Its now 29 years old, and refuses to die. Good gas mileage, low insurance. I change the oil myself...
Hell yeah!!! I had an 85 pickup growing up (22R engine), owned a 95 Tacoma for like 10 years and sold it with almost 260k. Then a couple years ago I picked up a 2001 Tacoma with 240k miles on it for $4k. Put a couple grand into it for maintenance and it became my daily driver while the nicer vehicle sits at home. 255k on it now, and I kinda want to put a turbo on it. Freakin' love those trucks.
New windows on our house. Replaced the old single pane metal framed windows. It was like a waterfall of cold air coming off of them and the noise from the street was obnoxious. Heating bill was cut in half.
When I moved back to my home town over a year ago I bought a 27' sailboat to live on because rent here is outrageous. Boat cost $4,500 to buy, and moorage at a decent marina is about $170/month. Rent for a studio apartment or 1br here is $900-$1300; every month I save between $600 and $1100, so the boat paid for itself in 4-9 months.
Lose, Lose, Lose, Lose
Quality cold weather gear.
Not only does it work better and look better, I've had a couple jackets for over 5 years now that see heavy use. Meanwhile I have a couple friends that basically buy and throwaway cheap gear every season. Works like sh!t, looks like sh!t, ends up in a landfill, costs more in the long run. Lose, lose, lose, lose.
Buy A Better Bike
I bought a 500.00 bicycle to use as my main transportation. 500 doesn't sound like a lot but when you're only making 8 an hour, it took some time to save up for it. With public transportation being 2.50 a ride the bike paid for itself in about 3 months. I used that bike for about 3 years. I still have it but i moved so i can't use it for the same purposes.
"I bought a bike..."
I bought a bike that was probably almost $500 after tax. Not really even that expensive for a bike, but pricey when you're making minimum wage. Such a smooth ride compared to the $100 bikes I bought and destroyed from big-box stores. Plus my bike shop will do a quick tune-up every season for free. A good bike is life-changing.
"Not even an expensive one..."
I have a bike. Not even an expensive one, just a regular bike that I use to go to work every day. It's an half hour ride. I no longer use public transportation or a car so I save money on gas or metro tickets. Cycling an hour a day is enough to keep in ok shape so I don't need to go to the gym.
Best money I have ever spent.
When my wife and I first started dating she wanted to learn to cut hair and wanted a pair of scissors that cost $25, which was a lot for us then. She offered that if I bought her the scissors she'd cut my hair for free as long as we were together. She lied. After 25 years she declared that she'd repaid me for the scissors and was going to stop cutting my hair. Still not a bad deal.
A very expensive suit.
This was the late 90s and I was 20 years old getting paid by the hour to do glorified help desk work. I had dropped out of college a couple semesters in because I needed to work. A recruiter called me out of the blue saying they needed someone right away. Could I interview the next day. The employer was the largest privately held company in the US and they had a reputation for being a VERY conservative suit and tie operation.
All I had was a poor fitting sport coat I got when I worked at circuit city. I called my father and he said go to Nordstroms, explain the situation and they'll get one done for you. So that's what I did and $600 later I'd emptied my bank account and was walking out the door with a new suit freshly altered that night.
I did the interview and just hit it out of the park. They offered me $55K starting salary to do app support. Which in the 90s was a crap ton of money for a guy going from making not a lot of money.
The Amazing Backhoe
I have 6 acres of land with a fair amount of trees on it. I spent about 25k for a backhoe that has saved, and will save me tons of back-breaking work.
It's amazing the amount of stuff I can do that would take huge amounts of energy without the backhoe.
Need a tree taken down and the stump removed? Give me an hour. Need a dead horse buried (true story)? Give me about 2 hours. Need a 100 foot long trench dug for water or power? Give me an hour. Need a 15 foot deep hole dug for who knows what nefarious reason? Give me about 2 hours. Need to flip a car? Give me about 2 minutes. Plow something? Completely destroy your yard? Move that dirt? Drag something heavy? Unstick something stuck?
It was a s***ton of money for me, but incredible what I can do.
They Don't Make 'Em Like This Anymore
Kenmore Washer and Dryer purchased new from Sears in 1998. They are still going strong and I guarantee when they do kick the bucket... the new washer and dryer I'll have to get from Lowes will be lucky to last 10 years.
My wife and I have been sorting pictures. We found one of my grandsons first day home from hospital. Our tan Maytag washer dryer is in the back of the photo just delivered days earlier. The same Maytag is still working daily. It does at least a load a day, she just needs a belt every 3 years.
No More Waiting On Strangers
I live in Minnesota and am a single woman. One winter I missed two shifts at work because my car wouldn't start and I didn't have anyone who could jump it and road side assistance couldn't be there for hours. After that, I went out and spent a little over $100 on a portable car starter. It is a small black box that connects to the battery and jumps the car without needing someone else's car. This has saved me so much time and money.
Also being a single girl who at the time worked at night, I didn't have to worry that some stranger stopping to help might have ulterior motives. I feel much safer and always keep it in my purse. Added bonus, I can charge my phone with it too. I've been singing its praises ever since!
"When my wife and I..."
When my wife and I purchased our home about 25 years ago, I had to go oversess for what turned into an extensive trip. When I came back, we had some really nice Danish furniture She had also purchased very expensive mattresses. Since I did pay for all of this, I take a tiny bit of credit, but it was really her good sense! I am lying on that same bed and mattress now, and all of it is still in great shape, even after many moves including a few international ones. She also taught me that spending good money is worthwhile for dress shoes and appliances. That too has always worked out well in the long run.
"You can buy these cheap..."
Straight razor: You can buy these cheap but are better if you buy a vintage one restored or buy an expensive one new. You will never need to buy blades for your razor ever again. Sure Straight razors are expensive to get into and can seem .....intimidating and Murdery.
Gents when you get the technique down it will provide a better shave than anything else youve used. Ladies as a man who has done drag in a miniskirt and learned to use a straight and use it on your legs is easier than the face and you will never feel a smoother pair of legs in your life. you will never clog the blade because it has no safety bar for the hair to clog up so you could shave off your beard and not hav to worry about clogging up the blade.
"Not an expensive item..."
Not an expensive item, but something totally worth having for large dogs who love to play fetch is getting a Chuck-It stick and balls. Its paid for itself 100 times over.
"Almost 20 years ago..."
Almost 20 years ago, I splurged & spent just over $800 on a set of good tires for my T/A. The better handling was nice, but what really convinced me was when I was be-boppin' along a new road one day, probably about 15 or 20 mph faster than I should've been, came over a slight rise & saw that the road made a sudden 90* turn to the left about 75 or 100 yards ahead - & to make matters worse, there was water on the road!
I hit the brakes as hard as I dared, trying to modulate the pressure & keep the brakes right on the edge of locking up (my car was built before antilock brakes), and I was able to bleed off enough speed to make that turn without going onto the concrete... The wet traction capabilities of those tires saved my butt that day. (There was actually a 2nd time that the wet-traction capabilities of those tires kept me out of a wreck, but I don't remember enough of the details anymore to write about that time.)
I have a different performance car as my daily driver these days, & about a month ago I again spent $800 on a quality set of tires - the difference is, THIS time I wasn't second-guessing myself, wondering if it was a frivolous use of money. Spending a bit of good money on tires is cheaper than replacing sheetmetal (& possibly being injured)!!
A decent mountain bike in 2009 to replace a car (commute to work). Car was paid off but still costing £150+ per month for petrol, insurance and parking. Work was less than five miles away.
Bike cost £450 and was used every weekday from 2009 to 2018 when I started working from home. Cost about £50/year to maintain.
Easily saved over £10K over those nearly ten years and that bike is still going strong. Only downside was in 2011 I hit a patch of ice, came off and busted both arms. That was a fun three months.
Another plus side of cycling in all weathers is that any type of weather now doesn't bother me. Except hail.
My laser eye surgery. Granted, I only had it on the 20th of Feb, but it's a whole different world I'm seeing and it should pay itself off in five year's time.
"We've been together..."
A good pair of Brooks Ghost running shoes.
I'd never spent more than $30 on a pair of shoes. The only time I did spend $30 on shoes was for a friend's wedding. So when I got into running (a few times weekly and the occasional 5k) I cried because my new boyfriend (now husband) said I should invest in high priced, quality shoes. I caved and I've never had to replace a pair of running shoes because they crapped out on me, always because 2 - 5 years later there was another pair I liked out there.
We've been together for 8 years now and that first pair is still going.
"A lot of them..."
A weighted blanket. I get a better quality of sleep with it.
Also, I got a bidet attachment for the toilet a couple years ago. It's a good investment, saves on toilet paper. A lot of them aren't even that pricey.
"I used to buy..."
Bluetooth headphones. I used to buy a pair of wired 10$ headphones monthly because each month the wire would break and I couldn't hear anything. One day I paid 30$ for PSYC Wave X1 bluetooth headphones and they fit perfectly on my ears and not only that, they sound great and they offer great sound cancellation. The only complaint I have about them is not the headphones fault, but Windows 10's fault which is pairing issues. Since I bought them like 2 years ago I've saved 240$ and I think I'll be saving even more until I decide to buy another pair since these ones are beginning to wear out. I tried changing headphones to ones specifically made for gaming and they were the absolute worst, so I'll stick to these, because they're the best.
"My shaving setup..."
My shaving setup was about $250 but now I get better than barber shop quality shaves for about 5 cents per shave.
A good pair of boots, specifically Doc Martens, though really any stupidly sturdy boot works. I only ever have one pair of shoes I regularly wear, and I do a lot of heavy lifting, woodworking, etc etc. I used to get a pair of about $90 boots every year/ year and a half, decided to spend like $150 on a pair of Docs and they have lasted me about 4 or 5 years now of constant, heavy use. Only regret is that I didn't get the more expensive boots with the lifetime warranty that they offer.
Also, less of a money investment and more of a time investment, but antique hand tools. A lot of tools aren't made anymore or aren't made well. And even if they are, they're often intended for use with power tools and don't work well with hand tools. You need to go to tons of yard sales to find some of them, but they'll last longer and work better than anything else on the market.
"My idea behind making these videos..."
I bought an expensive tripod and an expensive mic. I like to make some videos as a hobby to document my travels and my life at sea as a sailor. I haven't saved any money as such, but the presentation of my videos (on YouTube) has improved so much. Now the videos are more stable and sound quality has improved too. My idea behind making these videos is that I can look back at them someday, and now thanks to these purchases, the video documentary documentaries will definitely be more watchable.
"I've probably made..."
When I moved into an apartment with a washer/dryer hookup, I went out and found a used pair for ~$350.
Best investment of my life. I've probably made double that back by now from how much I've avoided spending at the laundromat.
"So it worked out."
I bought a duplex in 2016 right before everything got very expensive in my area. I live in one side and rent out the other. My mortgage is $1000 per month and I collect $1060 in rent each month. So it worked out.
"Don't even remember..."
Dyson vacuum. Bagless. Don't even remember the model. $400.
Got it 15 years ago, thing is a beast and with some attachments can do anything, never even needed maintenance.
"We don't need to..."
A $600 electric fireplace. We don't need to run the heat as high or as often because it heats up the area we stay in the most during the day.
"It drives like a dream..."
I bought a 2014 Honda Accord almost brand new. It has been across USA east to West and back, and from NC to Newfoundland Canada and back, taking scenic drives gravel roads, dirt roads, National Parks, nature views.
Two things that had to be replaced in 140k miles. One headlight burned out, replaced both.
A rear wheel bearing went bad, replaced that.
Plus routine maintenance as recommended by the manufacturer.
It drives like a dream and each road trip, which was about ten thousand miles, only cost me about 1100 dollars in gas which isn't bad considering all the slow driving on scenic routes or gravel /dirt roads.
"I shape my own eyebrows..."
Waxing kit. I shape my own eyebrows and wax about once a month and the kit was less than $60 (so not super expensive to begin with). Definitely paid for itself!
"Takes a week to two..."
Hybrid cars are a good example of this.
My family got a hybrid Toyota RAV-4, because it wasn't much more for that than the regular.
Takes a week to two more before needing gas again, because the car uses both an electric motor & battery + gas when a little extra is needed.
"A really good..."
A really good pair of hiking shoes and coats. Costs a lot at the beginning but will last you through harsh winters and even if worn almost daily last for years. By the time they have worn out I probably am paying the same as I would for cheap versions more regularly that wouldn't work half as well.
My parents bought a hair trimmer almost a decade ago for myself to save money on haircuts and I still use it to this day. I can't even imagine how much money we've saved on haircuts. Probably somewhere in the thousands.
"The money I have saved..."
I bought a great travel backpack that I take everywhere instead of a suitcase. The money I have saved when I fly by not paying for a carry-on or checked bag has easily paid for the bag itself many times over.
"I have a very small wardrobe..."
Clothes. I have a very small wardrobe of good quality clothing that costs a bit of money. When people ask where I get my jeans, work pants, shirt, shoes from etc, and I tell them Nordstrom, they are quick to tell me how they would never spend that much money on clothing. Along with an eye roll to let me know how frivolous I am.
But my clothes last forever compared to their clothes. I don't seem to have the wearing out issues other people do with my clothes.
Also, cloth diapers. A wash for one kid but we don't have to buy any diapers for kid two.
"After we had two children..."
A vasectomy. After we had two children we knew that was a good number for us. We both come from huge families and we know how hard it is financially and emotionally to provide for a large number of kids. Wasn't even that expensive either.
"I've made deals..."
Fishing poles. I've made deals on certain fish I caught and some I've cooked myself. Started fishing when I was 6 and started to cook when I was 8. Ain't nothing better than a boat and a pole.
"15 years later..."
My house. 15 years later and it's worth more than 3 times what I paid for it, and my monthly repayments are so low I couldn't rent a single bedroom flat for the same amount.
"If you're a guy..."
Not expensive, but a rice cooker. If you're a guy, it's essentially a required purchase, and it pays for itself tenfold.
"I started with a snake..."
Plumbing tools. I've saved thousands clearing blockages. I started with a snake and moved on to a plunger, that $50 in tools saved me heaps and started me learning how to use other tools. I have my own sanders, drills, chainsaw and hand tools now.
There are some questions that illustrate such vulnerability, such open tragedy on the part of the asker that we fend off tears while we come up with an appropriate answer.
Sometimes the question comes from someone who's been so steeped in struggle that they need help understanding that another possible reality exists.
Sometimes it's a question that cuts right to our own core with startling efficiency.
Whatever form it takes, it stops us in our tracks and we're likely to remember it for quite awhile after.
Curious to hear the saddest examples, Redditor julylovestory asked:
"What question has someone asked you that secretly broke your heart?"
Many Redditors responded by sharing the sad questions uttered by young children.
Kids just have the knack for cutting straight through to the essence of it all.
A Tragic Conscientiousness
"As we passed the toy aisle at the store, 'I know you don't have much money right now, but maybe when you get some we could come back and get a toy?' "
"I was not doing well financially back then and my daughter brought me to tears in the middle of the store."
Puzzled and Sad
"First day of preschool for my three year old son. The first time he would ever be away from Mom & Dad at the same time."
"I brought him to the room and expected a meltdown, but instead he confidently strutted, and I do mean strutted into the classroom."
"Three hours later, I picked him up. He was ok until we got to the car when he said, in quiet sad voice 'l thought you were coming with,' followed by an even sadder quieter 'Why did you leave me?' "
" 'Can I wish for my sister?' - A 10-year-old student of mine whose big sister died 4 years ago. We were working on an activity about dreams and aspirations for their futures."
How Bad Must It Be?
"I was like 22 and it was probably 10pm or so at a Walmart. I was on my way to a party and stopped for beer. The store was fairly empty and as I was in the beer aisle, I see this kid completely by himself."
"He was about 5 and at first I thought it was kind of funny because he was trying to pick up a case of beer. I waited like 30-60 seconds, looking around for this kid's mom/dad to come get him. A couple people walked right by him like it was normal, so then I started getting worried. I picked up my two cases of beer and walked over and kindly asked him if he lost his mom or needed help."
"The kid completely ignored the question and instead was thoroughly impressed that I was strong enough to carry two cases of beer. Eventually an employee noticed and came over as well. I told her everything I knew and she took over and told him that she was going to bring him to find his mom."
"As he was walking away he kept looking back at me and I smiled and said goodbye. The kid stopped and said 'can I just come home with you? I don't like my mom.' "
"I was caught off guard so I just laughed and told him the lady was going to help him. Now I'll never know the full story, or what happened to him but the more I think about it - that kid more than likely had a pretty shi**y childhood."
"I mean, the store wasn't busy and it was late at night on a weekday. It really makes you wonder why he was there in the first place, how he got separated from his mom and why would he ask to go with a complete stranger instead of worrying about where his mom was?"
"It still makes me sad. Hope everything worked out for the little dude."
Others talked about the times when they or somebody else realized just how tragic their own circumstances were.
"My ex asked me what I liked to do with my family growing up."
"Made me realize my family never did anything together and I literally had no answer to such a basic question."
Seeing Another Version
"During college, parents took a friend and I out to dinner. Very normal dinner, chit chatted about whatever. After we left and were walking back to my car, he turns to me and says 'Is that what a normal relationship is like?' "
"We talked more after that, I had met his parents a few times and they seemed strict but never seemed to have a terrible relationship. Turned out apparently his dad had cheated on his mom multiple times, dad had zero respect for any of my friends sisters and essentially expected them to do all the housework while the men did 'guy stuff.' "
"Hunting, training for sports, school, etc. Turned out his childhood was pretty fu**ed, dad was never around and he had to essentially be the father figure in the house. As the oldest child, never really saw a normal loving relationship that he could look up to."
"My friend is a really nice guy, still has some messed up views of relationships though. I never realized how 'abnormal' my very normal family/childhood was."
A Better Place
" 'You've never beaten me or told me I couldn't do something. Is that normal?'
"My first girlfriend told me that. I have never felt such a wave of anger, sadness, and heartbreak wash over me like I did when I heard that"
And some people discussed the time a question destroyed their social confidence.
Worst Teacher Ever
"I have a stutter, when I was a kid I had to read a page of a book to the class. I stuttered, and the teacher said 'can you even read' and that fu**ing broke my 13 year old heart."
"No one takes stuttering seriously."
There's the Answer
"When I was 19, I hung out with a cute girl from my high school that I never got to hang with when we were in school. Had a great day together, and that night she asked, 'can we be like secret friends or something? I don't really hang out with people like you.' "
"Never hung out again."
Comparing and Contrasting
" 'Oh, are you the girl with the hot sister ?' " -- JustehOK
"I worked in a department with two Melissas. One day, I was sitting next to one Melissa when we overheard another coworker say to someone, 'have you seen little Melissa?' "
"The other Melissa got kind of a defeated look in her eye and said, 'oh, I'm big Melissa.' " -- EarhornJones
It's a list that's sad enough to leave one wondering about the questions they've received that struck them as particularly hopeless.
Sometimes, though, that vulnerability can be the start of accepting new realities and new possibilities.
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If you live on this earth and you're fortunate enough to form long-lasting relationships with different people, chances are you'll know the pain of heartbreak. It's an unavoidable fact of life.
We are not guaranteed to stay with one person forever, as we were reminded once Redditor disturbance of mirrors asked the online community,
"People whose long-term relationship faded, what was the final straw that made you realize it was time to call it a day?"
"The last time..."
"When she 'broke up' with me for the 12th time.
We had a long-distance relationship and whenever we had an issue or a disagreement, instead of engaging in a conversation with me about it, she would say we were done and shut me out for two or three days before coming back and manipulating me into groveling for her forgiveness. The last time, I just said no to going back and stuck to it. She freaked out and tried to drive 6 hours to my place at 2:00 a.m... I got a call from her mom saying she had left in the middle of the night as a head's up and, upon finally getting ahold of her when she was just a couple of hours away, I was able to convince her to turn back.
That relationship f***** me up for a while but, once I began dating my now fiancee, it was unbelievable to me how wonderful a real, loving relationship with healthy communication can be."
"Her brother was living with us..."
"Mine was not a slow burn like most seem to be, but a very definitive moment.
Her brother was living with us and this was right when WiFi was becoming available to the general public. We couldn't afford it cuz we were broke kids, so her brother would take my GF's MacBook (it was a gift) and sit on a nearby bus bench and leech off someone's unsecured WiFi.
Well, one day we get a call from her sister and she says we need to get home immediately. Turns out some guys came up and asked him for change for a $20 and when he told them he didn't have it they tried to snatch the Mac and jump in their car.
He knew it wasn't his so he held onto it and tried to get it back but they were too much. He had gotten dragged by the car, kicked in the head, and then had his leg run over. He was in pretty bad shape.
As we turn the corner (didn't know what had happened yet) GF sees cop cars and an ambulance and says "This better not have anything to do with my Mac. We walk in and he's visibly in bad shape and she is just immediately "Did you lose my Mac?" I'll never forget his face. He was so ashamed and felt terrible and just started crying. She however started screaming my computer! My computer! And hitting him. To the point where the cops considered arresting her. It was an instant eye-opener."
"I'd sit in my car..."
"I'd sit in my car after work playing on my phone for like an hour because I just needed a break before going inside and dealing with him."
That would do it.
"I would find any excuse..."
"I would find any excuse to work late or sometimes go sit at a bar by myself just to avoid the misery at home. We divorced."
"He was a workaholic..."
"He was a workaholic to the point that I saw him about 6 days per month."
"Somewhere between giving up on small talk and not looking forward to the weekends anymore."
That's no way to live.
"It really forced us..."
"Honestly it was the pandemic. It really forced us to actually spend time together and I realized we kind of just didn't do much together at all. I had spent years thinking it was cool that we kept our own friends and space but once those distractions were taken away it was just really clear to me that we were more roommates than a couple."
"When I realized..."
"When I realized I was needed and not wanted. Constantly trying to make someone happy who didn't want to be happy."
This one hurts. I've been there myself. (And I have also been that person––I thankfully got help.)
"We lived together..."
"We lived together but lived completely separate lives. Basically a housemate I shared a bed with. Happened twice to me so far."
"I would have moved mountains for him..."
"I knew it was over when I cared more about his wellbeing than he cared about his own wellbeing. I would have moved mountains for him if it made his life easier and he just continuously put himself in shi!ty situations. I eventually just gave up. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about themselves. Thank God that's over."
If you think you might be stuck in a pointless or unhealthy relationship, it's worth evaluating your options. And it's never worth sticking around and risking your emotional and mental health.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below.
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There is always that "one." There is always going to be that person.
That person who you will always remember. And when they are the one who you regret losing most... they are the ghost that will haunt you forever.
I have a few escapees. I'll never know how it would've turned out. But that is part of why I'm haunted. I need to discuss....
Redditor u/AssistantNo1733 wanted to discuss all the times we've lost in love by asking:
Who's the one who got away?
Do we even have a clue that they're the "one" that got away? How long until it sinks in? And how do we not know there isn't another "one" coming behind them? I have no answers. Just asking...
The DraftEpisode 1 Omg GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy
"The girl who summoned up the nerve to ask me out towards the beginning of high school. I was so humiliated by the life my family was living that I stalled until she gave up."
"Betsy, if by some stroke of dumb luck you're reading this... I'm so sorry. It was 25-27 years ago, but I still hate myself for that. You were beautiful, intelligent, a good person, and if I had anything resembling a stable, presentable home I would've said yes in a heartbeat... I had a crush on you since 7th-grade 'intro to drafting.'
I Love Her
"Weird, I was just confiding in my mom about this last night. I'm late but for catharsis's sake I'm going to post. My first girlfriend is a classic case of you don't know what you have until it's gone. She's the complete package. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and so kind. We started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 21."
"For reference I'm 30 now. I was an idiot. I wanted to play the field. I wanted to party and hook up with college girls. It was fun at first but after a while I felt this gnawing hole in my heart. The feeling of doubt crept up slowly and still, a decade later my chest feels tight thinking about it."
"I didn't realize until my later serious relationships that getting along with your SO's family is so important. Her mom and step dad genuinely treated me like a part of their family. It's not a stretch to say I literally grew up with these people. I spent some of my most formative years with them. Birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, you name it. They celebrated me and my accomplishments. They genuinely cared about me. Just amazing, salt of the earth, lovely people."
"Her birthday was in March and I sent her a text and we ended up talking for a bit. She's happily married and stable with a daughter and a second on the way. I'm genuinely so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I just wish I was a part of that. Sitting at work 10 years later I'm tearing up. I numbed myself out to it for years, it's so strange to me that I've been so stuck on her lately. Is this normal?"
15 Years Later
"My very first real love. I was a teenager and I didn't really know how to be comfortable in myself or with myself. I played silly teen girl games and lost him even as a friend. Now 15 years later I still think about R from time to time. I genuinely hope he's happy in his life."
"Edit: Wow this blew up while I was sleeping. Thanks for all the sweet words and to everyone with their "one" congratulations! I suppose I hadn't looked him up on social media because I'm scared, scared he won't respond, scared he will respond, scared he'll think I'm a stalker. I'm in a happy relationship now, but what if... Etc etc etc. But I'll give it a Google."
Missed You Muchrhythm nation dance GIF by Janet JacksonGiphy
A girl I dated in high school. Went on a date one time she took me out parking and I was too stupid to realize it.
"She always talked about moving away as soon as she got finished with high school. I always thought I would stay in a little town the rest of my life. Turns out I was the one who left and move to another state. Later I heard that she had told someone that I knew that she thought that we would be married at some point. Missed it by that much."
Ok... I've been a bit blind to the light. People can be cruel, but also highly creative. Why not just lead with the truth? It'll always hurt more after lies.
Chuck E.Chuck E Cheese Wink GIFGiphy
"Ah the rare AskReddit question I can answer."
"I met a wonderful woman circa 2013-2015. We worked at what I can best describe as an upscaled Chuck E Cheese. Or ghetto Six Flags. Your choice."
"We hit it off instantly, though at the time I was rather romantically inept. Eventually, she says she's leaving to join the Air Force. I tell her I'll miss her, and wished her well. The thought of asking for her number so we could stay in contact didn't even cross my mind."
"Cue the next day, I stop for lunch on my way to work, and as I'm walking to my car I hear my name being called. I turn around, and it's her, running toward me. Universe giving me a second chance, right? Wrong. My dumb butt still didn't ask for her number. She looked a little upset, and I still think about her often. Desiree, I hope you're doing well."
"He was my first and last love. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met. We bounced around like idiots, on again off again, finally got together mid 20s. We both fell into bad habits - drugs and alcohol, more booze for me, more drugs for him. We had some bad things happen that were pretty detrimental to staying sober. We would split, reconcile, get sober, fall off the wagon, split, etc... repeat as necessary. We realized we were very bad for each other unless we could BOTH just get sober for ourselves, and split."
"Ten years later, I was sober for 7 years (still am, going on 18 years end of this month, actually! Woo, go me!) and he was beginning to come back, sober about a year. He contacted me, we met, talked about trying again. He said that once he had been totally clean for a year, we'd do it. That whole "Don't make any changes for a year" thing. I would visit him, tho, things were good."
"He woke up one morning feeling bad, thought he had the flu. (This was pre-now) I stayed around because he was sick, but neither of us thought he was drastically bad, just the flu, right? He got worse and worse, finally we called an ambulance because he got up from a nap and couldn't breathe. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Aortic dissection."
"He got away, but someday I'll see him again. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We just weren't good for each other."
Ce la vie...
"My most serious Ex."
"Don't think I truly understood love until I met her. Loved her more than I ever thought I could love anything. It eventually ended when she told me that, through no fault of my own, she had fallen out of love with me. That was 2 years ago, still hurts to think/talk about."
"Ce la vie..."
"I'm in the middle of trying to avoid that right now actually."
"It's not worth the heartache trust me. I fought to stay in a relationship for an entire year. If I would've just let her go the first time she wanted there would've been a lot less pain. We would've left on good terms. I would've lost a lot less sleep. Rip the band-aid off because once the band-aid starts peeling it's inevitable it'll fall off with time."
Sweet...Kim Tate Eye Roll GIF by EmmerdaleGiphy
Damn man why bring this up.
"My ex and I broke up over 3 years ago. Mutual breakup through a lack of communication on both ends I feel."
"Thought I was over that hill until this week she messaged just to say hey and ask an innocent question. We text for the best part of the day and it's brought up a lot of old feeling. Feeling pretty bitter sweet right now."
Love is a mess. Why even bother trying if you can't be true? It's not hard to just spell out the situation. And if you're the one needing to put together the words... look closer. The dialogue shouldn't be difficult.
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What are the odds you'd click on this link today?
What was the biggest coincidence that made you question the fabric of reality?
There's small coincidences, occurrences so minute that you wouldn't even notice them if you weren't paying attention. However, once someone makes a big deal out of them then there's no other choice but to acknowledge that what just happened was spectacular.
Each Having A Buddy Coming To Town
"My friend and I were on a road trip a few years ago and needed a place to stay. We both told each other we had a friend in the city we were going through, so we figured we'd be able to crash with one of them. Turns out our two friends were roommates and had both been telling each other that they had a friend coming to town soon."
What's That Got To Be? A 1 in 1000 Chance?
"Several years ago I was at a coffee shop with some friends and one of them had an ipad, another friend went to unlock it and asked him what his 4 digit unlock code was, so I just blurted out 4 random digits pretending like I knew it, and it actually worked. I had never unlocked it before or knew of the same numbers being used for anything else, or his phone number, etc."
Both Probably Assumed What The Best Time Was
"I passed out after receiving a flu shot when I was 28. The nurse who helped me up kept asking if I wanted my mom. It seemed like a really weird thing to offer an adult woman - the option to have her mother phoned and brought in - so I was really confused and getting progressively more annoyed at her repeatedly asking...
...until my mom walked up to me. She had the appointment after mine to get vaccinated. The nurses assumed we had come together, but neither of us knew about the other's appointment, and we lived an hour away from each other in different cities."
Living in such a big world can lead you to the conclusion that math is silly and odds are never in your favor. With over seven billion people roaming around, chances of meeting someone of significance?
Less than you think.
A Simultaneous Love Of Traveling
"This guy I went to grade school and high school with, an acquaintance at best. I've seen him in 5 different locations in different countries throughout the last 15 years.
Disney World when I was a kid.
Some beach bar in Thailand.
The Bean in Chicago.
A pub in Budapest.
A library in San Jose, Costa Rica.
We've become friends due our love of traveling, but neither of us post on social media and neither of us communicated with each other our plans to travel. We never talked outside of the random meetings. Now if I see him, its like the world wants us to have a beer together. haha"
"I Mean, The Crash, Yeah, But How Have You Been?"
"My dad lives in a national park here in Australia. It's farmland that's grandfathered in. It's the remnants of a volcano that blew itself up very violently, so it's very hilly terrain.
One day we were sitting out on the deck, when we see a hang-glider come down halfway down the valley, and it didn't look like a nice landing. "Sh-t, we better see if he's alright, they don't land anywhere near here"
So we get in the car, drive for about 10 minutes to reach the spot. We head over to the guy who is standing by a very damaged glider. The pilot is staring at us incredulously, he stammers "F-ck, Jack, is that you?".
My dad, who hasn't seen his childhood friend for 35 years shouts "F-ck, Tim, is that you?".
They both grew up in Greymouth, NZ. Found each other randomly after a glider crash in NSW, Australia."
Takes A Wedding To Bring People Together
"My wife and I were looking to hire a caterer for our wedding and when we met, my wife and her started talking about their lives a bit.
Turns out they had both literally grown up on the same street, in a city of 10 million people, on the other side of the world. Both had left the city around a decade before immigrating to our current country.
They knew the same people, had hung out at the same coffee place, attended the same church. They even used to grab mangoes off the same large tree that hung over the wall of one of the large houses in the neighbourhood.
But they had never met one another until meeting on almost the exact opposite side of the planet, in a small town of about 50,000 people."kor_hookmaster
What we can gain from these experiences is a coincidence will occur more than you think, you just have to have the eyes sharp enough to spot them.
But how would you explain these?
Position Is Key
"I dialed my mum on my mobile when I was on public transport and accidentally swapped two numbers around.
The person I called was on the same carriage."
"Go on, tell us what happened then!"
"So I was listening to my phone and at the exact moment it started the ringing sound I heard a phone start ringing and I thought it was a coincidence but then the phone answered and it wasn't mum.
All I said was "Oh, are you on the Upfield train?" and they said "Yes, who's this?" but I got shy and I hung up.
Poor guy must have been so confused."
Universal Echoes Bringing You Closer Together
"One time, me and my dad were discussing his friend while out driving at night without many other cars on the road. As we were talking, we pulled up to a red light, and the car waiting in front was my dad's friend. He didn't even live close to there."
Extremely Unlucky Odds. Go Buy A Lottery Ticket.
"A couple of years ago I was visiting my hometown and decided to sit on a bench at my favorite park. As I was sitting, I felt something land on my head. Bird poop. After heading home and washing my hair, I went back into town. While I walked around, I watched as a guy got hit with a drop of sky sh-t. As I was laughing about the apparent irritable bowel syndrome of the birds in my town, a bird flying right over me drops a fat sh-t on my head."
There's no magic at play. All of these happenstances can be explained away with simple math and rudimentary probability.
Still, it's fun to live when you're in the moment.