20 Cosas que Hacen los Hombres que las Mujeres Probablemente No Saben. La #15 es Asquerosa Pero Muy Cierta.
1. Jalarle al escusado cuando mientras estn orinando y ver quien termina antes.
2. Han tenido fantasas sexuales con sus amigas. Si todas sus amigas.
3. Cuando estoy en la regadera me gusta juntar agua en mis manos, echrmela en el pecho y ver como cae al piso.
4. Cambiar a modo Bestia cuando subes las escaleras solo.
5. En vez de usar plastinudos para cerrar el pan, solo dale vueltas a la parte vaca y mtelo debajo.
6. Han pensado en parar el tiempo y hacer cosas indebidas con la gente.
7. Todo hombre se ha despertado con la famosa tienda de acampar y tenido que inclinarse para poder ir al bao.
8. Checado en lnea si tienen buen tamao.
9. Todos los hombres en algn punto de su vida han hecho el cabeceo a otro hombre por alguna razon o otra. Ese mismo cabeceo se lo han hecho a una mujer solo para recibir una mirada de confusion.
Adicionalmente, nunca les an enseado el cabeceo, simplement ocurree naturalmente.
10. Se han sonado la nariz en la regadera.
11. Han agitado las cobijas de su cama despus de tirarse un pedo.
12. Cuando estn orinando han intentado de cubrir toda el agua con burbujas de orina.
13. Cuando escribo un comentario en el Facebook de alguna mujer lo leo un milln de veces despus de mandarlo para asegurarme que no suene estpido. Y despus suena estpido.
14. Imaginar cmo salvara a la gente de su trabajo, escuela o cualquier lugar de un ataque terrorista.
15. Mirar su popo cuando terminan de ir al bao. A veces toca disfrutar la obra maestra que acabas de crear.
16. Ver comedias romnticas solos. No puede haber nadie ms. Nadie puede saber.
17. Quitarme los calzones y patearlos hacia mi mano para sentirme como un maestro ninja.
18. Borrar su historial.
19. Apuntar a la esquina del escusado cuando estas orinando para evitar que la gente escuche.
20. Ver que tan lejos puedes estar del escusado sin fallar.
Translated by: Jose Mizrahi
There's a lot we don't know about women. Where do they hibernate? How do they keep warm in the winter? When they shed their skin can you make a belt out of it?
Oh, excuse me, I seem to have left open my copy of the Animal Encyclopedia.
There is a bit of a learning curve when you enter into a long-term relationship with a woman, and these men were quick to share their most insightful gains.
Reddit user, Foolu, wanted to know what you now know and can never forget when they asked:
"Guys of Reddit, what is something you learned about girls after getting into a relationship?"
What happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom, unless the internet is involved. Then by all means let us know.
Get The Hanger
"Hair. It gets f-cking everywhere"
justfukinwitchu
"With a wife and a teenage daughter, I could stuff a pillow with all of the hair I pull out of the shower pipes after they've got blocked again."
Scallywagstv2
Warehouse Pricing Is Critical To Survival
"You get through 4 times as much bathroom tissue."
Scallywagstv2
"My dad used to complain about the amount of toilet paper used and we were under strict instructions it was one sheet per toilet trip. Like you expect 3 woman in one house to use one strip of cheap toilet paper every time we go toilet? Ha! Even mum tried to tell him he was being ridiculous."
ngatiara
Only Way To Purify Your Soul
"They shower with lava. At least thats what the water temperature felt like."
Kooky-Experience-923
"Absolutely, the closest temperature to hell is the best to destress in"
distantdreams-0
Is your house ready for your partner to move in? No?
Too bad. It's happening, and what you see will never be the same again.
Never Enough Hanging Solutions
"You don’t have enough hangers"
Sh-tbashGod
"This one got me lol. I had a cloth bag absolutely full of hangers laying my dresser for years. A f-ckton of them just accumulated over time I guess. Anyway I had planned to eventually throw them out but forgot about them. Fast forward to about a month ago when my girlfriend is moving in. It took time for me to realize the situation when she said "I'm gonna need more hangers."
Narapoia
Costs A Lot To Look This Fabulous
"Make up is expensive as f-ck"
sheepboi13
"Bras too. I thought just the higher end ones would be expensive, but assumed the day to day ones costs much less than they do."
TheRetroVideogamers
Like Magic
"Bobbypins are magical items that will materialize out of thin air"
linksflame
"And disappear just as suddenly"
AnnuallySoup
This is the really crucial stuff, the bits you should always keep at the forefront of your mind.
Speak Your Mind Always
"COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING. Seriously, if there's an unanswered question, f-cking mention it and get the answer. Neither men nor women are mind readers. So many things can be avoided by just talking with the other one in the relationship."
"Always assume ignorance over malice. Chances are whatever happened it's because of assumptions made and not because one was trying to actively hurt/annoy the other."
"The only dumb question is the one you don't ask."
lurking_my_@ss_off
You Are Bespoken To Them
"You have to teach someone how to be a good lover to you."
"People don’t magically know how to meet your needs. And they certainly can’t read your mind."
RedditorChristopher
"Basically communication is key. This can be said about every single relationship though, not only about girls specifically"
AhhCaffeine
Just, Absolutely Sucks
"Periods really f-cking suck"
deuslapis
"You ain’t lying. Spend 1/4 of your life trying to save yourself from bleeding and cramping to death to have some old man politician tell you what you can and can’t do with your body... meanwhile, they have never had to deal with a single cycle."
purple_lassy
"What might be a really small thing for me to give her (a gesture, compliment, smile, etc.) can mean a whole lot to her."
heathos33
"This is so underrated. I'm in a new relationship and I know my bf cares for me in his own way but I would give ANYTHING for a few compliments here and there."
AgentTex
"Tell them that. Not that you want one right now, but that you appreciate hearing his feelings about you here and there."
"Communication is the only way to a positive path."
Pazzolupo
Entering into a long-term relationship with anyone will change your life. Be ready to learn and use that info to help the relationship grow.
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We're not all going to think the same thing. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and all that. However, we can recognize when someone has clearly taken the time to focus on their looks, through working out, how they dress, or how they style their hair. This is no judgement, and it's perfectly fine if you want to feel fabulous some days, but there is an unfair stigma that comes with that.
The world thinks a lot of things about you if they find you "conventionally" attractive.
Reddit user, Zestyclose-Detail791, wanted to know what it's like to walk around pretty when they asked:
"What are the dangers of being very attractive/beautiful?"
There's a lot that immediately comes to mind if you're considered traditionally attractive, problems that you'll encounter any time you meet someone new.
What Are My Traits?
"Not knowing if you're actually funny. Or well spoken. Or talented. Or charismatic."
stink3rbelle
"On the opposite end, some attractive people (mostly women) who are really smart aren't taken seriously because people only focus on their looks."
powerlesshero111
No One Knows You're Real Self
"If you’re really attractive and also quiet, people think you’re snobby. Also, you get unwanted comments from creeps a lot."
Appropriate_Day_8721
"I constantly was accused of being stuck up and a prude when I was a teenager while I was most definitely neither. I was always nice to people, but I was super shy because I had painfully low self esteem as a teenager and thought I was hideous and boring."
"My high school self and my grownup ego thank you for this lightbulb moment."
partway-chrysalis
Making All The Heads Turn
"you get a lot more attention than you probably want, lots of staring and sometimes people following you. Tension within your own gender as you’re seen as competition."
CandidGuidance
Social interactions or cues will be the most difficult wall to overcome. People you know and people you don't will assume lots about you, making a simple conversation that much more challenging.
Misinterpreting Signals
"People will often mistake friendliness for flirting"
Immediate-Cow6875
"I work at a hotel front desk, and the other night a man came down to ask for something and said, “every time I passed through here, someone else was hitting on you. Do you deal with that all the time?” Yes, and it’s obnoxious."
faerie03
Never Knowing Where To Draw The Line
"Friendships falling apart when their partner is attracted to you."
Illustrious-Fly9586
"Friendships falling apart when you're genuinely trying to be friends with someone of the opposite sex & they end up falling in love with you:("
Zaiya53
"How much I feel this one. I lost all my male childhood friends because at some point all of them ended up falling for me and made everything uncomfortable or left after being rejected. Specially because well, everyone knew I had a boyfriend anyway (now fiancé, so yeah, a very solid, healthy relationship. Noone else had a chance)."
"Now I began to befriend a really cool guy and just the other day he tolds me "he needs a girlfriend like me" in a pretty evident flirty tone. I joked about "my fiancé finding the limited edition" to make sure he knows I have a partner. He tried to hide his dissapointment but I still saw a bit of it on his face after that."
"I find it so frustrating... I just want a bunch of friends to celebrate the Holidays with and prepare them special meals and surprise birthday parties and plan trips and recomend them songs or movies and send them memes. Not having to deal with unwanted attraction towards me."
Chikizey
You're One Or The Other
"People think you are flirting if you are being anything other than nasty to them. Then if you’re are nasty, you are a b-tch/a--hole. No in-between."
SpikedBubbles
Whatever the case may be, you'll find a lot of people think the worse of you.
Or on a level below that, you'll see that people act the worst when you're around.
Unable To Handle The Switch
"If you become “unattractive” for any reason you may find it difficult to reconcile that you are no longer attractive."
"Examples: car wreck, injury, aging, disease, becoming obese. I’m sure there are more."
"If you’re used to being attractive and you identify as such (consciously or subconsciously) it can be really hard to come to terms with a change in that."
goldensnooch
Too Bad. Not Anymore.
"You cant pick your nose in public anymore with all the people staring at your attractive/beautiful face"
noob_akk
Pain Is Going To Be Involved
"regardless of gender, i think some people would get obsessed with you to the point they'll harm other people to just get your attention"
Independent_Mall_78
"Or themselves."
anniewolfe
Conventional beauty standards are bogus. Be happy with who you are in whatever way you want, so long as you're not hurting anyone.
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A first date is exciting. But it can also be highly unnerving.
You just want it to go so well.
So what do you wear?
What do say?
How little do eat and how much do you drink?
But that ice breaker is important. And the dialogue is imperative.
So what do we talk about?
Inform me...
Redditor AspirinDontWorkOnMe wanted to discuss the best beginners for small talk when on an early romantic excursion. They asked:
"What are some good questions to ask on a first date?"
Are you crazy? That's my first date question. I can always tell by the answer.
LOL
“Who makes you laugh?”
"This was my speed dating question back in the day, and it sorted out the wheat from the chaff VERY quickly."
RiverLover27
The Past
"What unresolved childhood trauma will emerge through maladaptive behaviors as we spend more time together?"
ofsquire
"To be fair anyone who has a legitimate answer to this one is probably already actively working to improve themselves which could be a huge green flag. Unless they're aware and not working on it in which case run."
Glundyn
Ok. So I went on a date with a girl... she unloaded all her past trauma in me... then proceeded to get really drunk and make a move on me."
importedsquid
Raccoons?
"What is their opinion on raccoons? Specifically would they be upset if they found out, the person they were dating was actually several raccoons piloting an elaborate human suit. If the answer is yes, it’s is a red flag and you will need to tell Burt and Larry down in the legs to hoof it out of there as fast as possible. Remember to grab as much trash as you can on the way out. It is why we were there to begin with."
The_Most_Superb
Be Useful
"Ask open-ended, non-threatening questions that get them talking about topics they enjoy. You learn much more about someone when they’re comfortable than when they feel scrutinized. Also, realize that the questions you ASK say as much about you as the answers you give."
"Your fears, hangups, history, empathy, etc. For example, if someone asked me how much I earn or what my parents did for a living, I would reasonably surmise that money and perhaps status is important to them. [That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s a useful piece of information.]"
who_favor_fire
A T-Rex?
"What's your second favorite reptile?"
hellmouth
"My question would be more, what’s your second favourite dinosaur? I work with young children, I have a modest working knowledge of dinosaurs."
Few_Rooster3293
Interesting ideas. If I ever search for love again I may use a few.
A Few Things
"So, you married?"
"Do you slap the bags of rice at the grocery store?"
"Are you a cop?"
"What’s on your bucket list?"
BallPit1p
Win-Win...
"When I was dating, I used to really like asking what people were excited about coming up in their lives. I'm a very optimistic person. I'm highly sensitive to negativity, pessimism, and cynicism. While it's not the ONLY way to get insight into how positive someone is, asking this question gives some insight into their overall mindset. Plus it's a good way to have a conversation about something someone is excited about. Win-win."
Kooky_Finding8516
HIGH
"Wanna see how high I can jump?"
Competitive-Kale-991
"A girl asked 'do you think I can jump this puddle?' I said no but she jumped anyway and slipped back into it so her back was entirely mud. Also, I drove."
JojenCopyPaste
"Look! Look! Look at me! Look what I can do! Look!"
LoneRangersBand
Mammals...
"What is the biggest mammal you could knock out with one punch?"
Zoidfarbb
"The answer to this question is clearly the horse-sized duck. In accordance with the square-cube law, the horse-sized duck's tiny legs would collapse under it's newfound weight, rendering it severely injured if not completely immobile. I'd pretty much win by default."
smala017
FACTS
"Can I get a list of references?"
thecartoonrobot
Ah first dates... will they ever be easy? Shouldn't they be?
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Escape Room Employees Describe The Weirdest Ways Customers Have Tried To Free Themselves
I don't see the appeal of these rooms.
Why would one enjoy being trapped in a room?
When you watch people trapped in a movie you cheer for their release.
But this activity has gotten super popular.
And people have gotten real creative in their escapes.
Redditor CaptainCatButt wanted to hear confessions from the great escapes. They asked:
"Escape Room employees, what's the weirdest way you've seen customers try and solve an escape room?"
I haven't tried these rooms yet. Not sure I want to. Highly claustrophobic. Convince me...
No touching...
"I used to work at one. I can’t tell you how many people thought that power outlets were a prop and tried to stick keys into them. Guys. There was a lamp plugged into it and a 'do not touch, not a part of the game' sticker on it. It’s not a trick, don’t do that."
brasscassette
Shackles
"A friend of mine works for an escape room and he told me one about a puzzle where the key to the next door was shackled to a desk by a combination lock. What you are supposed to do is figure out the combination for the lock from the clues around the room to free the key. What one group decided to do instead was get a guy on each corner and pick up the 150 pound desk and carry it across the room, slide the key into the lock, and then rotate the entire desk to unlock the door."
sharrrper
'Yale'
"I am not an escape room employee but I did a lot of em and talked to the employees often. One of them told me there was a simple lock (opened by a key) that had 'Yale' written on it (the name of the lock company) and a lady (not native English speaker) thought it read 'yell' and legit shouted 'OPEN!!' at it, expecting it to open."
Dorza1
searching the fountain...
"Recently went to an escape room with my co-workers. Before we started, we were explicitly warned not to touch or drink the bright blue water coming out of a fountain because it would turn our skin blue - clearly people had tried searching the fountain as part of the escape room previously and now they have to warn everyone."
babers1987
Voice of God
"I was in an escape room once where one puzzle involved some objects that needed to be manipulated inside a structure that made it very awkward."
"We were all looking at it trying to figure out how to proceed when I said 'Well, the bottom is held on with screws and I have a screwdriver in my purse, but that would probably be cheating.' Instantly the Voice of God came over the intercom 'THAT WOULD BE CHEATING!' So we didn't do that..."
Miss_Speller
Well people really do get creative at this game... don't they?
Reverse
"Had a group of engineers who were familiar with the style of the lock effectively reverse engineer the lock. They showed us how they did it afterwards."
Snowf1ake222
Smoked...
"When I was in one they told us several times that the fire extinguisher is NOT part of the puzzle. They said it so many times, I'm 98% sure someone once used it lol."
Zirael_Swallow
"I always wait to see if they say not to disassemble smoke detectors, if they have that warning, I ask about it, and every time they will always have a story about a dumby who ignored the warning labels and disassembled the smoke detector."
cleverplaydoh
Group of 4
"There was a story on here a while ago about a guy in a group of four who took a broom from the first room because 'it had to be for something.' He said it looked too out of place to not be needed. Well he was half right. It was out of place but that's because it was the broom used by employees to clean the room."
"It was simply forgotten when they cleaned last time. The guys giving hints thought it was hilarious that this guy carried a broom through four rooms expecting it to be the key to their escape at some point. I thought that was funny as hell."
PCCoatings
Damages...
"Take in a screwdriver and dismantling furniture or taking doors off hinges... all the while we specifically tell them not to use force and that furniture is just furniture. Though I don't care cause they gotta pay the damages. Also had some groups press our panic button cause that opens all the doors (for emergency cases)."
"So they can skip puzzles and be faster. Makes zero sense to us cause they are paying for an hour of playtime and to solve puzzles, not like the prize is reduced cause you solved less in fewer minutes. Especially since our prices aren't cheap."
karmasabitterpill
Idiots
"Breaking EVERYTHING. Trying to eat or drink things they should totally not be trying to eat or drink."
Radiant-Comb9058
Even though there are a million ways to escape, I'm still gonna pass. My claustrophobia won't allow it.
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