Rites of passage and simply being your own person are concepts that some parents just don't grasp. This happens in school especially, where parents will sometimes spy on classes or insist that they stay with their kids. It's overprotection to the extreme, and it doesn't do anyone any good.
robo-bonobo asked educators of Reddit: xWhat is the worst case of helicopter parenting you've ever seen?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. Drone parenting.
This is 2nd Grade. I'm in the middle of teaching when one of my students says, "Amy's mom is watching us." I look at the very large window into the hall and see Amy's mom standing in the window, and she is indeed watching us. I only saw her for a brief second though because as soon as I made eye contact, she ducked.
I opened the door, walked out of my room, and Amy's mom was right there squatting on the floor.
Can I help you? No Are you here to volunteer? No Unfortunately, parents are only allowed on campus if they are volunteering, even then, they are required to sign in and get a name badge. Have a nice day!
She remained squatting for the entirety of the conversation.
That's video game parenting with a poor stealth skill. They stayed ducked like that hoping you'd reset so they can pretend it never happened.
14. Billy Madison parenting.
Had a parent want to sit in and observe classes every day for weeks.
It's because they aren't able to re-enroll themselves after dropping out all those years ago. They just want another chance!
Haha that may be true! I've had plenty of parents do their kids' homework for them. "Ma'am, this is brilliant work. I was able to give you an A for the project. Johnny, however, will receive an F, as he did not complete the work."
13. This isn't how independence works.
I work with a program for college students with learning and intellectual disabilities such as autism and down syndrome. We teach the students skills to be independent. They stay in apartments and go to college while working jobs. Obviously the goal is for them to be independent enough to live on their own. Well one student had parents who lived close by, most students are not from the area. These parents came over every weekend and washed his dishes, bought him groceries, and would clean his room. These are all things we teach them to do independently. Should have just saved their money and kept him at home.
My cousin's parents did that for 2 years when he was in uni, his mom was cooking him weekly food and packing them for him every weekend and he was bringing dirty sheets and clothes back every weekend even tho he had a washing machine and a dryer.
Now that I think about it I had some friends my freshman year in college who went home every weekend. Their parents would drive about an hour to pick them up, then an hour pack home. Every weekend without fail. Way to not let your children learn and experience real life,
12. Pride goeth...
I did a placement in a school while studying to be a math teacher. On my very last day at the school, a year 9 girl (Edit: she was probably 15 years old in year 9) in the top class came to class crying. We set up a seat outside for her so she wouldn't be embarrassed while she calmed down.
I thought ohh maybe boy trouble or a fight with a friend since this girl usually had an aura of confidence and was a cool kid/class clown. So I thought I could help her out and get her into class in a short time or give her the lesson outside anyway.
Instead we spent an hour talking about her suicidal depression. I had wondered why she sometimes seemed to get concepts in trigonometry and sometimes didn't. I had been previously been working with her in small groups because she needed the attention. It turns out she'd been guessing or copying from others. She had been doing this so well because she had 3 years of experience in faking how good she was at school.
Despite being in several top classes, she was borderline illiterate. She had no fundamentals and couldn't read the material or understand any explanations. But she could fake it really well or was naturally smart enough to wing it. But it drove her to this breakdown.
So why is this story in a thread about helicopter parenting? This girl told me the only reason she was in any of the higher classes was because her mum insisted the school put her there. Even though the girl struggled in the lower classes, her mum insisted it was because she needed to be in the top classes. Her mum was trying to force her kid to be the top. She even paid for Kip McGrath tutoring (expensive professional tutoring) though this was the most socio-economically disadvantaged school in the city or surrounding areas.
The girl already had all the counselling and tutoring you'd expect but she faked her way out of them.
The girl had missed nearly two whole years of school in year 5 and 6 her mum refused to let her been seen repeating or being in remedial classes.
The delusional thinking and helicoptering of her mum had put impossible pressure on this poor girl. She had driven her daughter to give up on life.
I think my talk with her had settled her a bit and given her some hope. I followed mandatory reporting and was frustrated that the principal only gave solutions tried before but his hands were somewhat tied.
I finished my placement but not my masters of teaching because I ended up getting a call centre job in the Australian public service which tragically has a higher salary and career opportunities than a teacher in state schools. I have no idea what happened to the girl or whether she felt betrayed by my following mandatory reporting.
11. Like a mother bird.
Parent came in every day to feed her 8 year old son his lunch just so he 'wouldn't choke' I had to get the exec involved within a week because it was ridiculous. Apparently it was a new thing that year...
Is this really a thing? I know lots of people who struggle with swallowing pills, but this sounds like an excuse unless this person is also on a liquid-only diet. There's no way he or she is chewing bites of food into bits smaller than a typical pill unless they're eating crumbs one at a time.
10. We have muscles for a reason.
3 year old kid. Mum is totally convinced that if he is allowed to carry his backpack up the stairs to his classroom his spine will be deformed. The backpack weighs about a pound because she won't let him carry his own books. I tried explaining to her that the way muscles get strong is though use and that not letting him use his muscles is much more likely to cause damage. No go. Didn't even bother getting into proprioceptive feedback and the way children use their bodies to regulate their emotions.
Newsflash folks: treating your able-bodied child like they're made of glass will damage them physically, psychologically and socially. Let your damn kid carry his own damn bag.
9. Logical fail.
I had a mother call me because her son made a 96 on a project and she wanted to know why he didn't earn a 100. I told her he did a great job and that's why he made a good grade. She wasn't satisfied and then called out a different student and told me how that kids mom had done the project and made a better grade. So I asked her what grade she wants me to give her son. After she heard that she said "I don't want you to GIVE him a grade". So I respond with "then why did you call?". She absolutely did not expect that retort and said the 96 would be just fine and hung up.
8. Henry got the hint.
Hmmm so many to choose from....admin would probably say this was the worst, but I still think it's the best!
Had a 7th Grade student (Catholic School) who was being bullied constantly by a kid named Henry. Victim's mom wasn't satisfied with the way the principal was handling it, so one day she sneaks over to my classroom, opens the door and yells, "Henry! You touch my kid one more time and I'll cut your damn balls off!" Mom was in big trouble but the bullying stopped.
Had a 4th Grade student one time who was very mediocre—B student, blah personality....her mom's best friend was the mother of a classmate who was a star student in every way, and Mediocre Mom was constantly comparing the two. I'd send home graded work, and it would come back saying that I had made mistakes in my grading and the girl deserved a higher grade.
I finally started photocopying the papers before I sent them home...I knew it was mom changing the answers, not the kid. End-of-the-year Award time arrives which is invitation-only. I did NOT send Miss Mediocre and her family an invitation, and was shocked when they showed up at the event. After the award ceremony, Mediocre Mom approaches the Principal and says that they had received an invitation, and why didn't her child receive an award? Principal calls me over and asks what happened...I insisted that I did not send them an invitation, but the Principal didn't want the child to feel badly now, so asked me to think of an award which would work for the child, and she quickly went and made a certificate for the child. Mom then bad-mouthed me for forgetting that I'd sent the kid an invitation and not having the award ready. What a jerk!
7.. Dictator mom.
I was a middle school English teacher. I had a student who was truly very advanced and a really great kid all around. Her mom asked me to tutor her so she could test out of 9th grade English and go straight to the 10th grade class, which she was definitely capable of.
A few other parents asked, too, so I put together an after-school tutoring group (on my own time, no compensation) and helped them through what they'd need to know.
Well, the first mom came to every session and would sit there correcting me (with incorrect corrections) on everything. I would walk them through analysis of Romeo & Juliet, she'd contradict me. At first I could ignore it but then I told her that the other parents had complained (a lie) and that she had to stop coming. I also subtly told her that if she wanted, she was free to tutor her daughter on her own.
After that she had her daughter bring a digital recorder to the sessions with her, so her daughter could "review them" later. Instead she used the recordings to send me her criticisms of what I'd said. I hope she had an email tracker cuz then she'd have seen that I deleted every email after the first one w/o opening or reading.
The girl did pass the test though, which really was difficult as she had to demonstrate that she had mastered EVERYTHING the curriculum mandated for 9th grade (three out of four of the other kids did, too, without such parental intervention).
She was really embarrassed about how her mom acted. I may or may not have suggested to her to forget to turn on the recorder or that she might consider breaking it.
The mom gave me a plant at the end of it. Gee, thanks. A plant. So useful.
TL;DR - a parent attended every group tutoring session until I lied to her and gave her a reason to stop, then had her daughter record every session and would listen to it and send me some "pointers."
6. Not a kernel of dignity.
Not educator but a classmate's parents transferred him because someone threw a popcorn kernel in his direction. I go to a private school with tuition and they had likely already paid for multiple months
I remember a new kid coming in for his first day at our school and he was paired with basically the biggest ahole bully in the school. I don't know why they did it, I guess because they shared the same schedule. This kid was the most timid tiny little kid and the bully was this tall imposing asshole that got off on f---ing with people. Of course he just messes with the kid the whole day. At gym class we were playing dodge ball with the legit big rubber balls (this was the 90s) and of course bully guy just targets the fuck out of this kid. He absolutely annihilates him with a ball and that's it. Kid can't take anymore. He left early and we never saw him again.
5. Kids belong outside.
My mums a teacher aid said one of the worst cases was that a mother wouldn't allow the kid to go on any excursions of camping trips. Kid doesn't have allergies or special attention and is not poor so no excuse why the kid shouldn't go. Grade 6 comes around and finally able to convince the mother to let the kid go for just one night on a 3 night camp trip (guess it was progress). The kids went rock climbing, fishing, camp fire marshmallows and night trip in the forest. To this day the kid says it was the best day of their life.
4. Sobbing. SOBBING!
As a music student teacher I was asked to select a few kids to do a dance in front of the choir based on how quickly they were catching onto the choreography. Very informal, all they got to do was a few extra dance moves the other kids didn't for one song.
The next day I was informed that one child's mother had called the choreographer (they were friends) sobbing because her daughter wasn't chosen.
This was probably because her daughter had a cast up from her wrist last her elbow. And the dance was the "Hand Jive."
3. What is she, a whale?
I had a fifteen message exchange with a parent last regarding how I will not continuously remind their child to drink water throughout the day. I told them that I have no issue with letting their daughter have water whenever she asked, and the whole class got a water break after recess, and had ample opportunity to drink at snack. But apparently that wasn't good enough and I needed links sent to me about the dangers of dehydration. Suffice it to say, their daughter did not die of dehydration in my class without me pausing my lessons every half hour to ensure she was drinking.
2. Participation trophy parenting.
In NYC, students have to apply to high school the way most kids apply to college. I was asked to fill out a recommendation letter for a student, but it required a writing sample (essay only) from the kid and I didn't have one yet because it was early in the year. The deadline was a month away, so I would get a writing sample during that time. The mom didn't accept this answer no matter how many times I told her. For 2 weeks she harassed me daily through email, phone calls and text. She ended up calling the principal who put me and the kid in his office so he could write an arbitrary essay, and I could write the letter. I missed teaching 2 classes! (They were covered by a sub) Principal philosophically sided with me, but he just wanted her to go away lol.
1. Nope, I'm out.
Had a mom call me on my personal cell phone, which I do not give out, checking to see whether her daughter had homework that day.
It was the first day of school.
She got my number from the principal, who thought it was a great idea. I did not stay a second year.
Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.
Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?
Sadly, this is behavior that is tolerated and yes, normalized in our society.
People were keen to share other observations after Redditor EnoughSandwich_7057 asked the online community,
"What's toxic behavior that's considered socially acceptable?"
"Trying to make people..."
"Trying to make people drink/smoke or drink/smoke more when they have firmly declined the offer."
This is a big one that can have disastrous consequences. I am thankful I got a bunch of terrible nights out drinking out of my system by my early twenties.
Being drunk to the point that you're incoherent is horrible.
"I hate the whole prank thing..."
"I hate the whole prank thing, especially when it's done for likes. Scaring or humiliating people for attention just means you are a bad person."
I don't watch any of those videos and I don't understand what people see in them.
"Overworking yourself and then collectively judging others who don't do the same."
I had a coworker like that once, and she was a (minor) reason why I ended up leaving one job, but still a reason nonetheless.
"Taking your work with you..."
"Taking your work with you on vacation. I mean if you enjoy working then that's your thing, but I get sick of people like going through paperwork and having meetings while on vacation. Like dude, stop."
"Looking down on someone..."
"Looking down on someone because of their job."
When people say things like, "If fast food workers deserve $15 an hour..." that says a lot.
"Deliberately misunderstanding what someone is saying so as to make it easier to argue with them."
"People tend to give drunk people..."
"People tend to give drunk people misbehaving a pass if they regularly do it, 'Oh don't mind Tom, he's just drunk.' That just reinforces that toxic behavior."
You can say that again. How many times have you run into bad behavior like this while out and about, perhaps in a bar? It's not fun.
"The fact that we reward..."
"The fact that we reward customers for being wrong. The number of times my old manager would be so exhausted from arguing over the cost of a carton of milk with a customer that she would just give it to them is appalling."
"It reinforces this mentality because even if the customer KNOWS they're wrong they don't care because they will still win."
Annnnd this is why I don't miss retail. I'm fine where I am.
"Verbally abusing minimum wage employees who don't make the rules. If I could change the laws tomorrow I'd encourage businesses to ban pieces of garbage like these who can't operate in public."
"I'm here to do a job..."
"Toxic workplace behavior needs to be top of the list. I'm here to do a job and go home, not be harassed because you don't like some aspect of my personality. Managers who let this slide should be held personally liable."
When you stop and think about it, you realize we live in an imperfect society. It's astounding that some people just tolerate bad behavior and, in many cases, don't even see anything wrong with it.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.
Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.
However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:
"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."
Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.
Redditor Gooncookies asked:
"What could your parents have done better when raising you?"
Here's some of the ways that these Redditor's parents could have done better.
Rules to maintain purity.
"Would've been nice if my dad hadn't convinced me I had to behave in certain ways to maintain my innocence and purity."
"Catholic? I can relate."
"Nope. He's an atheist. He's actually extremely upset that I practice my (non Christian) religion. He just has some really weird ideas about having female children. Like, if I wore spaghetti straps when I was a child he'd say it was like he was living in a brothel."
Becoming afraid of failure.
"Encourage me to do more. I was never pushed to do anything. I mean, I get why some athletes are like 'my parents pushed me too hard where I hated it.' But I was never encouraged to go out for it try anything new. I played little league baseball and decided I thought it was a good idea to try and be a pitcher. I told my mom, but got the response along the lines of 'That's a hard position, and the whole game kind of rides on you, and if you mess up, everyone is going to blame you.' As a 37 year old I now see how that kind of stuff screwed my self esteem up and why I'm so afraid of failure as an adult."
"Same here. Also when I wanted to try anything new my mom was like 'But that's too hard for you, are you really sure you wanna do this? I don't think that you want nor can.' What's even worse than just forbidding, in this way the kid won't 'protest doing it' and get too low self esteem to do it."
"I'm really happy now that I overcame this after I moved out. I started doing all those things I wanted to do as a kid and I freaking love it (but kinda hate the fact that I haven't started earlier)."
"But even if I have a good relationship to my mom I hide a lot of things I do from her, since she still does the same and tries to convince me that I actually don't wanna do what ever I planned."
"But dear mom, sometimes you just need to try new things. if it wont work out who cares!? Even got a tattoo with 'What if I fall? Honey what if you fly?' to remind me if I should ever forget. (And no, my mum doesn't know about it)."
We're allowed to feel our emotions.
"Allow me to express my emotions, treat me like an actually person, actually interact with me instead of just ignoring me and them just telling me to kill myself."
"Wow. I'm so sorry. I think a lot of parents forget that their children are actually human beings."
"Its okay. I'm trying to work through some of that trauma, its easier said than done."
Interest is nice.
"They could have shown more of an interest in my mental health and education."
"I didn't get help for my anxiety until after college and it's so frustrating to hear my parents acknowledge I was an anxious child yet nothing was done. I can look back and see how many things could have gone better for me."
"I had diagnosed ADHD and my mom thought that the meds made my brother and I zombies and decided she wanted us to just be kids. My parents never looked into any kind of non-medication help for my ADHD."
"I'll always wonder what school would've been like if I had the tools to properly manage it."
"I got an MFA, but I feel my entire life has been a whole lot of masking."
I also have comorbid sleep/circadian rhythm disorder which they also never did anything about. Going to the doctor for anything, physical or mental, was not prioritized. But, my parents definitely weren't well off financially, so I imagine that that was the biggest contributor."
Kids deserve autonomy.
"Taught me to question adults and trust myself."
"They thought they were doing the best thing by teaching my sister and I 'All adults are always right and you obey them no matter what,' but it made me a dysfunctional employee and vulnerable to abusive relationships."
"The good news is it can be unlearned. But I hope this new generation will teach our kids to assert themselves respectfully instead of blind obedience."
Why keep up the charade?
"My parents are great people who did a good job raising me, but there was one weird thing they did that still kind of annoys to this day (and I'm 44.)"
"Once I got old enough to figure out that things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real they still wouldn't admit it for some reason; I think it was more my mom and my dad just went along with her. But even when I became a teenager and all my siblings were teenagers it's like they still thought it was funny and cute to keep pretending that Santa Claus was real. I don't know why."
"They missed the point of that sort of thing. It's a rite of passage for children to eventually get old enough to figure out that this sort of thing isn't real and for the parents to let them in on it. I was denied that and it still bugs me for some reason."
"I could imagine that being infuriating at 14-15 years old. At that age you're wanting to be seen as more of an adult and I can imagine them not acknowledging Santa as a way of not welcoming me into adulthood/making me feel like a little kid."
Yea that's weird. When I got older and looked back I realized that my folks never flat out said Santa was real. My mom would say something like, 'He's only real if you believe in him,' so she never technically lied to me. Maybe it stems from that, they don't want to admit they lied to you?"
"That could be, but I think it was more a matter of my parents (again, my mom especially) thinking that doing the whole Santa Claus thing on Christmas morning, and Easter Bunny thing on Easter was fun and something that she just didn't want to let go of when my sisters and I got older."
Healthy criticism is necessary sometimes.
"They lacked discipline and parental authority which led us to treat them like our friends, disrespect them. We also couldn't be academically successful because they didn't help us develop a healthy studying habit."
"Kids like it when a parent tells them what to do (I mean, parenting is about teaching a kid what to do, if you just leave it like that, it won't learn anything), help them when they can't get through it, never give negative criticism, but constructive criticism when they fail and appreciate them when they succeed."
"Negative criticism: this type only tells them what is wrong. e.g. 'you can't do this,' 'you are doing this badly.'"
"Constructive criticism: this type gives them an insight into what should they do, you can add what is lacking if necessary. e.g. '[...] is not good behaviour, please do [...] next time, then you would succeed,' 'it looks ok (if it is badly done, then don't say this), but if you do [...] it'd be better / [...] is the correct way.'"
Whatever the situation was with your parents or caretakers, there are ways to heal from this trauma.
Psychology Today says we need to process our emotions, especially if we were taught not to when we were children.
It's important that we break these generational curses.
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Breaking up is something that never gets easier.
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.
Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"
But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.
And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.
So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.
That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.
Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:
What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Bigmartin scorsese casino GIFGiphy
"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy
"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copiesmail GIF by RabbidsGiphy
"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
ThievesJoseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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