Dungeons And Dragons Players Share The Craziest Things Other Players Have Ever Done[rebelmouse-image 18347292 is_animated_gif=
Dungeons and Dragons is a gaming institution. So many youngins' gather in basements for good, clean medieval fun. They rattle away the hours being a goblin or a dragon. And apparently this pastime can last long into adulthood. Who knew? Just kidding, we're here in our questing best.
TIME TRAVEL PLANS CAN BE TRICKY!
I had a player wish for himself to be turned into a stone block. He'd been sent back in time somehow, I forget exactly how as this game happened in 1996, and was trying to find a way back. So he figured he could stand where the party was when he got sent back in time, wish himself to be turned into a stone block with a message chiseled on it reading "Wish for me to be turned into [character name]" His logic was they'd find the stone block waiting on their approach and his character would use his wish to change him back before being sent back in time.
So, I did that. Then I said to him, "Why didn't you just wish to go back to your own time?" He said, "Oh, I didn't think of that." And he was duly laughed at by everyone.
PAULA DEEN CAN'T HELP YOU NOW![rebelmouse-image 18348418 is_animated_gif=
My players tend to do some ridiculous stuff to the point where I could probably fill an entire thread with their shenanigans, but the first and best would probably have to be weaponizing butter.
During the first session the party found themselves in a small town library trying to figure out what's going on. Among other things they found a book with 1001 uses for butter, just as a throwaway detail. They check it out as well and I think nothing of it.
After the session I ask for downtime actions and the party's mad scientist comes to me and says "I want to make explosive butter." I have him roll for it and he aces it. He then posts a picture to our facebook group along the lines of "chicken + stick of butter = [chicken shaped blast shadow] + cooked chicken"
The rest of the group runs with this and it leads to an ever increasing spiral of butter related weaponry and paraphernalia. Buying a cow to secure their own supply and hiding it in their basement. Adding some herbs and spices to the mix and creating the basting grenade. After building a BPG, a different player took a skill specialty in food-based weaponry.
This of course deserved an equally weird response in kind. See, this kind of abuse of butter didn't go unnoticed, namely by the butter deity herself, Paula Deen. She waged a campaign of harassment against the party for infringing on her domain, eventually culminating in summoning a skyscraper-sized sentient corn on the cob to crush them.
In the lore of this world, butter is now a highly controlled substance and the French have become the most formidable military power in the world. Even when telling non-butter related stories from this game, I can only ever refer to it as "Buttergame."
tl;dr: Players weaponize butter, antagonize Paula Deen, propel French to military supremacy
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID BUT IT SOUNDS SUCCESSFUL.[rebelmouse-image 18348419 is_animated_gif=
The entire party was about to die until they rolled to see if a players weasel familiar could remove the cork from a health potion and pour it into the wizards' mouths. He could and they all lived.
THAT SOUNDS WAAAAY TO COMPLICATED.[rebelmouse-image 18348422 is_animated_gif=
They turned the game into SimCity.
PCs are thrown in into a dungeon for witchcraft, get broken out by an agent of the king, who knows they are innocent. Wants them to take down the guy who's going around accusing anyone he considers impure of witchcraft; because he's "cleaning up" the kingdom, he has the support of a lot of nobles who are bigoted fucks. That's why the throne can't act too openly against him, and decides to employ the PCs; if they kill him, everyone will just assume it's out of revenge.
King's agent basically gives them directions to where they can find this guy, but they get caught up on the detail of some of the nobles being in with him, and decide they want more details. They ask for an example, I throw out the name "Lord Hobbes" at random, and now the quest is suddenly "Investigate Lord Hobbes for corruption while completely ignoring the guy who is actually responsible for all of this".
So now I need to make a map of Hobbes' mansion and grounds for them to infiltrate, stat out guards and such, and invent something to happen. Turns out Hobbes is being blackmailed into compliance and isn't that bad a guy, he tries to hire the PCs himself to go after Witchfinder Douchebag so I can get things back on rails, and then just to tie off this plot cul de sac, one of the Witchfinder's agents kills him. PCs finally go after the guy they were supposed to go after, save the day, and as a reward I have the king give them Hobbes' title and mansion so I can reuse the nice map I made as their base, and all seems well. Of course, now they are technically the rulers of a small town.
Immediately this becomes their primary focus, ignoring any and all other plot hooks. They want to improve the town (which I now also need to map in detail), invest money, collect taxes, pass ordinances, improve trade routes, etc. Adventuring is now just a way to acquire funds and defeat threats to the town, which starts growing at an alarming rate. Gaming sessions are now 70% discussions on trade, revenue allocation, and fiddling with the town map.
YAY! PATSY FOR THE WIN![rebelmouse-image 18348424 is_animated_gif=
In one of my campaigns we had a knight who relied on mounted combat to be effective. He told me after creating his character that he had a contingency plan should his horse die, and all the details. His character came with a buff and mute armorer named Patsy and a little squire (whose name as far as anyone knew was squire). I was hesitant to add so many characters, but since one was mute I allowed it.
Eventually his horse is killed and he turns a side eye to me and goes "I activate the contingency plan". All the other players are so confused and dying laughing, as he begins to execute his backup. He pulls a backpack harness out of one of his packs and straps it onto Patsy's back, then climbs in and grabs his lance, and yells "Yah Patsy!" He practically piggybacks the rest of the game in order to get his mounted combat bonus.
One of the other players asked "is Patsy okay with this?" And he responded "Patsy has long dreamed of this day"
ASK GOLDILOCKS ABOUT HE BEARS AND THEN GET BACK TO ME.[rebelmouse-image 18977854 is_animated_gif=
One of the early plot hooks was an excommunicated priest having a vision of an angry bear guarding a cave. They got into a debate reminiscent of the swallow-coconut debate in Monty Python about whether a bear can properly be said to be angry. They eventually decided to look for the bear, not to investigate the vision, but to see what an angry bear looks like.
HOW VERY GAME OF THRONES![rebelmouse-image 18977855 is_animated_gif=
Session 1. First session all of us have ran in.
Save my daughter says the sad villager
OK says the party
Goes through the dungeon.
"I firebolt her"
Me: "what... What?"
The girl was an illusion and the mission was a trick to get the party to unearth an ancient evil. They figured out one half, the girl was a trick. Still unearthed the evil.
But the whole party including myself was very surprised to see the coward sorcerer shoot a firebolt at a child instead of the skeleton boss.
DOORS CAN BE DANGEROUS.[rebelmouse-image 18977856 is_animated_gif=
"I would like to sniff the door handle."
"You don't detect anything unusual."
"I would like to lick the door handle."
A BABOON?[rebelmouse-image 18977857 is_animated_gif=
The party had to fight a powerful Merrow that had a talisman they needed. Instead of fighting him, they tricked him into marrying a baboon that they polymorphed into a beautiful mermaid, getting the talisman in exchange. It was so absurd that I had to go along with it.
THERE ARE NO RULES IN A CAMPAIGN ANYMORE.[rebelmouse-image 18977858 is_animated_gif=
This was far from the most surprising, but it was the most recent.
They'd driven a brother duo of dwarves from town (really duegar in disguise). Then they decided, that instead of following up on my elaborate plans for an Underdark-conspiracy campaign, that would instead fight the city council over the dwarf brothers abandoned forge...so that they could work an elaborate real estate scheme.
I'm trying to figure out which Underdark race would make the best realtors, in an attempt to get the campaign back on track.
EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE.[rebelmouse-image 18977859 is_animated_gif=
Rather than kill some hired thug that attacked them, they subdued him, tied him up, and questioned him. They gave him a name (Jimothy), and let him go, telling him that he was a good strong lad who'd be better-suited to a job in construction than this murdering business.
I threw in a cameo of him later, happy in his new job.
BOW TO THE DM![rebelmouse-image 18977860 is_animated_gif=
Our DM always did custom campaigns. There would be special items made up by him and he would make unique classes for each of us to play. He was really good at it and our group played for years and had some awesome adventures.
One time I was leaning a little to hard into my chaotic evil side and long story short my team sold me to a group of devils from one of the planes of hell. They took me to this ancient relic thing that would transform me into a being of hell (what i got was based on my role from a percentage die so out of 100, 1%-95%being terrible 96%-100% being i might get something good). I had a one time use item where i could pick my roll, some mystic scroll about deciding fates. So i chose 100%. The dm turned me into a fallen archangel. Boys o boys did i knock that campaign off course when i showed back up.
DAMN THE RAVENS!![rebelmouse-image 18977861 is_animated_gif=
Via a combination of spells, alchemy, and teamwork, they enlarged the wizard's raven familiar, shrunk the gnome, glued the gnome to the raven, and had the raven fly along city walls while the gnome lobbed spells at the guards.
NOW THERE IS A NETFLIX IDEA.[rebelmouse-image 18977862 is_animated_gif=
My players once pooled all of their cash at about level 4 to buy a tavern and retire instead of following the plot any further. That was it, campaign over. They decided to play medieval fantasy Its Always Sunny.
SOMETIMES IT'S THE SIMPLE THAT GETS YOU.[rebelmouse-image 18977863 is_animated_gif=
Failed the simplest puzzle I have ever made, instead choosing to trial and error their way across a floor covered in pressure plates.
OK. LET'S DIAL BACK THE CRAZY.[rebelmouse-image 18977864 is_animated_gif=
PLAYER: "I cast Death Spell."
ME: "Great. Do you target the Cultist swinging the golden ritual sickle, or the one holding the screaming baby?"
PLAYER: "I target the baby."
BE NICE. GOBLINS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. RIGHT?[rebelmouse-image 18977865 is_animated_gif=
Recently they were sneaking through a goblin nest when the ranger felt the foot of a sleeping goblin gently rest against her. It was meant to warn the players that the hollows surrounding them were filled with goblins and that they should continue to be careful.
She says "I reach out with both hands and choke it to death".
... wha... what?
A high roll later, the rest of the group see the ranger do this and proceed to pull bone daggers and other small weapons and follow suit. Now they are crawling in and out of dirt holes, murdering sleeping goblins left and right.
Normally their rolls are cursed but not this time. No low rolls, several natural 20s and a few minutes later they have brutally murdered ~50 goblins and are covered from head to toe in blood, high-fiving each other for being the good guys.
DON'T BE SO LOOMY![rebelmouse-image 18977866 is_animated_gif=
They became obsessed with a random loom I threw in as flavortext.
Our sorc crit failed his arcana check on it which convinced him that it was The Loom of Great Portent.
Demonic rites were performed on it to help them make decisions and carted it around everywhere they went.
They started a band called the Loomineers. Their secret society was called the Illoominati. The Fellowship of the Loom to outsiders. Loom puns for days.
BAD REPUTATIONS AND GOOD TIMES[rebelmouse-image 18977867 is_animated_gif=
I gave my players a little more free will than a typical story arc, just to see what would happen. They inevetibly went evil, ransacking every town becoming a roving band of bandits, torturing key NPCs for info. When they got to a major city they couldn't walk through the main gate because of the bad reputation they gained, so they snuck in, took the king hostage, and launched him over the walls from a catapault claiming the city. When they finally met the main antagonist of my story arc instead of killing the Dark Lord, the Dark Lord joined the party because the party gained an incredibly evil reputation.
It was a hilarious story arc.
NEVER TRUST A CLERIC.[rebelmouse-image 18977868 is_animated_gif=
It was only surprising the first time, but I had a friend who always played a cleric.
Every single time, his character would buy the largest mount he could get (an elephant, usually). Then he'd ride it to death, make dry rations from its meat, animate it, fit it with heavy barding and travel around in comfort from inside its (now padded) rib cage.
Basically a cross between an RV and a tank.
The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.