Let's talk about sex babies. Don't blush, talk to us. It's healthy to chat about lovemaking. For too long we've all been oppressed about this matter. We're taught to be silent. But this topic is no longer taboo (thank you, Madonna) and as long as we chat respectfully, then there is no harm.
I'm always fascinated to hear about the details leading up to sexytime between strangers or first times between lovers. More often than not it feels like simple dumb luck. Like, sex just fell into your lap. How does that happen? Is it luck, or is there an idiot savant plan in motion? Talk to me...
Redditoru/Residential_Raccoonwanted to know some tricks of the trade that the rest of us may be able to use, by asking:
What's the dumbest way you've managed to get laid?
Sometimes it's just a look. A direct look across the room or a crowded corridor can change the plans for the evening in some fabulous ways. When sex is involved, words aren't always necessary. I can attest.
Check!
Radio Station Checklist GIF by JMattGiphy"I jokingly told my sister's friend she was on my To Do List. She took it seriously and asked if I wanted to cross her off."
Hungry?
"A girl I met in class was lost for her next class. Showed her the way and got her number (you know, if she gets lost again). We parted for the day. She was pretty so I ran the story to my roommate. Roommate decided to play a dumb joke by sending her a message saying that I miss her already. She texted her dorm address. Brought some food but she wanted to do something else. That was it. Lol."
- diesus
Wrong You
"A girl I worked with told my mate that she had a thing for me. Mate told me so on the next night out I approached her with unflappable confidence and we had a good night. Spoke to my mate the next day about it and he told me he got her name wrong, it was another girl who liked me."
"Update: Thanks for the awards! Totally unnecessary but much appreciated. And yes, I did end up having a casual thing with girl 2 a couple of months later."
After 10...;
"Parked in a multi-story carpark while we went on our first date (had some grub). End of the night I offer her a lift home, she accepts. We walk to where I parked. The multi-story carpark is locked after 10pm, I hadn't noticed signs saying this would happen and didn't think it was a freaking thing in the first place. She invites me back to her sofa after I ask for any recommendations on taxi providers. An hour later we're both having the sex of our lives."
OH!
Sports Bar GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I was at a bar and a girl sat down next to me."
"Her: What brings you here?"
"Me: tryna get laid."
"Her: lol, me too."
"Me: (looking around the room). Yeah, there's some good looking people here."
"Her: (says nothing, just stares at me)"
"Me: Oh!"
Now why can't things like that happen to me? Those are movie scenarios. We're all just a pent up bag of sexy explosives. Just laying around waiting for someone to strike a match.
Scrubbed
radio remains GIFGiphy"Spotless bathroom, she told me later she was undecided until she seen my bathroom was spotless."
Club Time
"My friend was at the club and he's the kind of guy that doesn't go to clubs at all. He saw a girl on the dance floor he liked and we all told him he should go talk to her. He went down and 10 min later we see him walking out the club with the girl he liked. We were all shocked he got a girl the first try. The next day we asked what happened and he told us he just complimented how good her belly button looked. We all laughed our butt off."
Seth for the Win!
"A tinder match said I looked like Seth Rogen, she invited me to a hangout. When I got there she told me that "if she could have sex with any celebrity, it would be Seth Rogen"and I laughed, she then introduced me to a couple of her friends, and she asked them "if I could mess with any celebrity, who would it be?" And they both said "Seth Rogen". And I was a close enough second!"
Feet for the Win
"A woman at my job said that my feet were sexy. I was wearing sandals. I said ok, thanks. Before our workday was over she asked if I wanted to go to her place, I was like, sure, thinking this was just a social visit. We get to her place and she says, you need to shower, I was like, ummm ok. I took a shower and she steps in as well and from there on we had lovely sex."
Sexy
new girl schmidt GIF by Vulture.comGiphy"Stared at this woman and when she said, "What!?" I said, "I'm trying to seduce you. I'm just really bad at it." We have three kids now."
Now that was some fun reading. And I def took copious notes. Did y'all? Take a chance, meet a new person... wear sandals.
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Redditor h-gotfred wanted to hear from the over 50 crowd, so they asked:
"To you Redditors aged 50+, what's something you genuinely believe young people haven't realized yet, but could enrich their lives or positively impact their outlook on life?"
There is so much to know about life.
And we have to age to learn it.
So let's chat...
Be Happy
just married love GIFGiphy"Marriage/relationships should be fun, and happy. Life is hard, things get tough. Find someone that makes the tough times easier, not harder."
Inevitable-Mine6466
"Piggybacking off this and saying, even the happiest marriages get into arguments. It's not a reason to leave."
J3sush8sm3
Battles...
"Not everything that you disagree with deserves an argument. Pick your battles and let trivial things slide."
hail2theKingbabee
"To echo this: Not everyone you disagree with is 'wrong.' They are simply operating with different information. You can disagree with someone on an issue and still value the person. Don't let one issue define your entire relationship with another person."
A_Socratic_Argument
The End
"If you die, your employer will have your job posted before you are buried. Remember that when making work/life choices."
Justin9314
"I started my career at corporate headquarters for a large insurance company. I was doing GREAT, but I just didn’t like the industry. I applied for a job at a major university and someone took a chance on me and gave me the position (transitioning from for-profit to non-profit is notoriously hard)."
"I made less money over the course of my career certainly but I wasn’t on poverty wages by any means. But I remember about 5 years in, one of my old VPs was in town and we got together. His comment was 'We miss you, but you look so much happier, the psychic income is showing.' Insightful guy."
Reynyan
The Truth
"2 things I will be eternally grateful to my grandfather for instilling in me..."
"Failure is not an end state unless it is where you choose to stop. He loved to quote that line by Churchill whenever something didn't work out for me, Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
"Honesty is the most powerful tool you can use to define yourself. Admit your mistake, frankly and honestly. The truth always comes out in the end no matter how big or small and it doesn't get better with age. You can give back something you steal, and you can help those you hurt but once they brand you a liar, it's all you will ever be."
iskandar-
Be Quiet
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"Unless you don't mind hearing EEEEEEEEEEEE like all the time day and night, use hearing protection in loud situations. Tinnitus is a bi*ch."
revnhoj
Take care of your ears.
One of life's greatest lessons!!!
Live by the Moon
bart simpson maggie GIFGiphy"Wear sunscreen."
nilecrane
"I just had a quick look at my 50-year-old upper chest, frequently exposed to the sun in my youth, and compared it to my 50-year-old belly, which has always been clothed and covered (I have never liked two-piece swimsuits). What a difference!"
HootieRocker59
Passions
"Take a genuine interest in what other people have to say, ask them follow-up questions about their passions in life. Don’t just talk about yourself, or wait for your turn to talk. That’s how you have a conversation, and build a relationship."
MayIServeYouWell
"Sometimes you gotta be careful with that. Pay attention if the other person is doing that too, it's important for you to share about your life. It can be kind of lonely when you know so much about your friends, but they don't know about you."
jacarelunar
Practice makes Perfect
"Every skill takes determined practice to master. I see my young friends/relatives try and give up on so many things because 'they weren't very good at it.' If you keep doing that, you'll never be very good at anything."
EarhornJonesI
"I love cooking - and find it easy and relaxing. I have hit a point where I can make several dishes that I can honestly say are far superior to what I could get at a restaurant. I love delighting my family and friends with what I cook."
"But the truth is - I've prepared thousands of dishes. I've practiced for 40+ years. I have f**ked up every single type of food there is at least once. I've burnt things. I've undercooked chicken. I failed to emulsify things that should have been emulsified. I forgot to set the timer. I've added too much salt. I chopped when I should have torn. I did all of the wrong things at some point. And because of all of these things, I can walk into any kitchen and make something delicious."
NewSummerOrange
63
"I’d say invest in your health by regularly exercising. My wife got me into running when we were in our twenties, and it has been a big part of our lives ever since (I’m 63). Nothing crazy, no marathons, we don’t time ourselves or follow a strict training plan, we just pick a route, go at our own pace, and have fun. We still go 3-4 miles, 3-4x per week."
"I also started working out at the gym 3x a week with free weights in my 30s, and have been doing it ever since. I’m no Schwarzenegger, believe me, but I can still work around the house, move furniture, shovel snow and have fun tossing a ball around with the kids without injuring or exhausting myself. Between aerobic fitness and weights, I’ve been able to stay remarkably healthy my entire adult life, knock on wood. It’s also been great for my mental health and managing stress."
"You don’t have to go nuts and set unreasonably strict requirements for exercise goals or diet that a normal person can’t possibly maintain - just do the best you can, make exercising a few times per week a habit, eat a reasonable diet (avoid fried stuff, eat fruit and veggies, lay off the sweets), and 40 years later you’ll really thank yourself, believe me!"
lanky_planky
Plan Ahead
Make It Rain Money GIF by yvngswagGiphy"Debt can really ruin your life. If you want to take on a lot of it, make sure you have a good plan and run it by a lot of smart people first."
vanityklaw
Debt. Everyone should learn about avoiding debt as early as possible.
This whole list should be taught in Universities.
