Have you ever had someone prove to you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they have absolutely no effing idea what they're talking about?
Women in particular get comments about their anatomy and reproductive health so often that it's almost commonplace. Those misconceptions can be so prevalent that they even make their way into potential law.
That's how we end up with proposed laws for things like "relocating" ectopic pregnancies when that procedure literally does not exist.
Reddit user ReallyQuiteRude asked:
The lack of understanding of how basic female reproductive health is truly staggering. Maybe we should stop separating children in sexual education classes (and actually teaching those classes with medically accurate information) because this is ... a lot to process.
Choosing The Sex
GiphyMy ex was convinced that he could consciously choose the sex of any children he fathered. He'd heard (presumably in some science class) that the sperm "decides" the sex of a baby, which is cool and all. But he got hung up on that phrasing and wouldn't listen to logic.
A Disease Now
My best friend was having sex with her new boyfriend and unexpectedly got her period. She was embarrassed because they had just started dating, and instead of comforting her his response was to disgustedly say "am I going to get a disease now or something?" he's an ex boyfriend now.
- er_bear
Breaking Up Sooner
My ex asked me how I knew my period was over. He was 21 at the time. Now, that wouldn't have even been that bad, but I started to explain how the flow gets lighter until it eventually stops and he cut me off. Said it was gross and he regretted asking.
He also thought any pubic hair on a woman was gross. I get wanting it tidy, but he thought all women should be shaved/waxed all the time. And no, his pubic area was never hair-free.
My only regret was not breaking up with him sooner.
Missing One Period
My friend's husband thought women knew they were pregnant by missing just one period and that it started again the next month. It gave me a giggle.
Stretch First
GiphyBefore I understood how periods work or what period cramps are, I remember there was a day in middle school PE where the class was running laps but two girls were not participating and instead walking slowly around the outside of the track. When someone asked them why they weren't running they said "we have cramps" and my dumb ass, assuming they both somehow got leg cramps or something from trying to run, said something to the effect of "that's your fault, that's why you need to stretch first!"
Later on after learning some stuff, I remembered the incident and their silent, shocked confusion at my response made perfect sense.
The Exact Moment I Realized
My creepy older boyfriend when I was 18 made a comment (in front of friends) about the first time we hooked up and he went down on me (the only time he actually did that).
He said: "When I hit your g-spot, your legs clamped down on my head like a vice."
I said "You never hit my g-spot. The g-spot is on the inside."
He responded in a condescending tone, "You have more than one g-spot, dear."
If I had to pinpoint the exact moment when I realized I was dating an idiot, it'd be right then.
Reschedule
I once used my period to get out of a date with one guy and he seriously said, "can't you reschedule it or something?"
Anemia Treatment
"Cant you just stop the anemia by injecting your period blood back in?"
Wrong On So Many Levels
He was CONVINCED that it was impossible to have twins, as "the uterus only produces one egg per month". He also thought women could ONLY get pregnant on their period, because "the sperm swims up the blood". When I told him it's the complete opposite, he said "Oh, what does the sperm swim up then. The piss?" I then explained that women do not piss out of their vagina. He then exclaimed "wait, there's two holes???"
I officially lost it when he told me that the vagina is in the same place as a mans penis, you know, "bellow the belly button".
Let's just say I'm glad i never ended up dating this guy.
Immoral Women
Someone once complained about how, "Women are immoral because having a period is equal to having an abortion." Luckily this was a teaching moment and he learned something that day.
Like A Chicken
GiphyI once got asked by my ex if I ever saw the egg cone out during my period
He thought the reason girls had cramps was because they passed an egg like a chicken would or it was at least like passing a kidney stone.
Women Don't Poop
"Stop lying, you don't poop. Men do."
Actual ex boyfriend who was a high school football player who GRADUATED.
When he finally asked his mother (yeah...) he was so disgusted, I thought he was kidding but he really wasn't.
- slampons
Unlocking Your Female Power
"Girls can control their periods and bleed whenever they want to." This fool was the only boy with probably eight girls at the table. It got bad when he INSISTED he was right and got angry as eight other girls repeatedly told him no. He tried to explain how the female body works and how if they tried they would just stop bleeding, like they could just "unlock" this female power inside them. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. Mind you this dude was your typical creepy low IQ rude virgin. (I think, or I hope he was a virgin. He went for the really quiet small freshman and all the other girls warned everyone not to date him. Big ugly rude mass of a dude.) No idea why those girls allowed him to sit at the table. I see him wandering around the mall all the time circling the food court and I always remember this period instance.
Night Pads
I went over to my dad's place, and unexpectedly got my period. I was sitting on the toilet, panicking because I only had a leftover tampon from the last time my sister was here, and I use pads. So I begged my dad (who was about to come home) to please go to the store and pick up "night pads" for me (I always use night time pads because I have a heavy flow), and told him I didn't have any pads at all with me, so I really needed him to buy some.
Well... He came home, I thanked him a lot for picking up the pads, and he said: "Wait, I didn't buy them. They're night pads and it's still daytime. We have time."
I had to explain to him WHY I specifically asked for "night pads".
No Vaseline
My husband /keeps/ telling me that I should use Vaseline as lube and that it was designed for sex.
No no no. No. It's not at all recommended to be used that way. It's petroleum. It takes your body up to a week to get that sticky crud out because your body can't absorb materials like that and it doesn't break down well.
A lot of people use it for anal. Probably because it uh.. moves out more quickly. But it really really doesn't belong in your vagina.
P.S. It also breaks condoms, so don't.
All Boys School
My partner saw a midwife friend on his Facebook post a status about a 'bum breech' baby she had delivered. He thought it meant the baby breaches it's mother's vaginal wall on the way out and ends up being born out of the mum's bumhole. I explained breech birth to him and it made more sense, I think his explanation is pretty funny though (probably not for the mumma in that situation.)
He also thought you could cause injury to your unborn baby in the womb if you have sex while pregnant - as in the cervix and walls were so thin you could poke the baby with your penis. He was therefore adamant if I ever get pregnant I wouldn't be getting any D until the coast is clear. I had to show him an anatomy diagram from Google for that one.
You probably won't be surprised to know that this particular big dummy went to an all boys school. He's my big dummy though.
Pleasurable?
I was talking with a few female friends about tampons and pads and which we prefer (we were sleeping over at a friend's and a few of us were on our period) and my male best friend was shocked that I didn't like using tampons. Turns out he thought that inserting a tampon was "supposed to be pleasurable, just like having sex." I cried with laughter for what felt like ages.
Brain Damage
GiphyGuy here, once knew a guy who thought that any time a guy ejaculated in a woman, the sperm would stay in their body, and eventually swim up to their brain, giving them brain damage.
As such, it was his duty as a man to be willing to commit to taking care of women he slept with because every time they had sex she would become a little bit dumber/less capable of living without him and eventually nothing more than a mindless shell with some holes.
- Aazadan
That's Not What Curves Mean
That having sex makes a girl fully develop. My ex-husband truly believed that if a teenage girl had curves, it was evidence that she was sexually active.
He also believed a pelvic exam and inserting tampons caused arousal.
Phasing Through
My boyfriend thought you could technically get pregnant VIA anal because the sperm would somehow phase thru the intestine lining into the uterus???
He's college educated and not a moron or anything, his health teacher in high school was just awful.
Not From The Vagina
The worst offender was an old coworker (who really liked bringing up sex all the time) because absolutely flabbergasted that pee doesn't come from the vagina. He swore up and down I didn't know WHAT I was talking about, that that's 'the only hole it can come out of' and wouldn't listen to me until I googled a diagram to show him. At which point he was grossed out.
The guy was like, 40, and I was no older than 22 at the time, which I guess is why he thought he knew better, but still guy. Yeesh.
- Perscoot
Condoms And Hymens
It did not happen to me but to many female friends of mine..."When you have sex for the first time, you should not use condom. Otherwise, you cannot break the hymen".
Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At Work
Excited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Average work hours"
- friendofjay
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
- cageygrading
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
- ravenfire47
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
- Pathwil
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
- OnTheGoodSideofLife
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
- Pathwil
Unwanted Hair
"My nose hair."
- HunterRemarkable550
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
- Osborne85
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
- radekvitr
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
- unbridledboredom
Lines For Fun
Episode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Lines at any amusement park."
- TheNonMurderingSort
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
- darkaurora84
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
- cutelyaware
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
- olcrazypete
Personal Height
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
- hdhdhdhdzjursx
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
- Megalon84
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
- Jak_n_Dax
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
- Zymper
"You took the words right out my mouth"
- LateTeenAnubis
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
- kriminellart
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
- ecodrew
"Underrated."
- PM_meyourGradyWhite
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
- souleaterevans626
Rest
Tired Baby GIFGiphy"The amount of time you need to sleep"
- WomenAreNotReal
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
- 1ne3hree
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
- Sad_But_Realistic
Court Appointees
"Supreme court appointments."
- Debasque
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
- DerCatzefragger
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
- slowclicker
NFL
College Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
- sometimesimtoxic
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
- cozyroof
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
- DerCatzefragger
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
- DustinAM
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
- Piemaster113
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
- ryukin631
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
- Mister_McGreg
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
- pamplemouss
New Movies
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
- olnog
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
- ActualTechSupport
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
- rabid-
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
RedditorDangerous_Mobile9188 wanted to discuss what aspects of life still leave confusion.
"What do you genuinely not understand?"
Life is full of quandaries that I give up on trying to figure out.
Everywhere?
Emoji Corona GIF by BallcomGiphy"Why people can't use a public restroom without literally pooping all over the freaking toilet."
Natural-School5690
Around the grooves...
"How a single needle can run through the grooves on a record and produce a fully layered and 'separated' sound. I mean, I get how it works in theory. But like... how TF does it work?"
LandofRy
"I know how it works, and I understand how it works, and I was gleefully trying to convey this knowledge to a friend when I realized that I am not able to explain how it works, which essentially means that I don’t actually get how it works."
smelllikesmoke
Meow Team
"The thought process of a cat trying to jump on a shelf that is clearly filled with stuff and doesn't have space for it to land safely."
Mikrosarvinen
"The opposite, actually... how on earth does my cat jump on a shelf filled with stuff and somehow always land elegantly with all four paws between all the stuff without dropping a single thing? It surprises me every time."
WanderingArtichoke
"50% of cats have a 6th sense to avoid everything and 50% of cats are clumsy as hell. 100% of cats think they have the skill though."
KneeHumper
Clueless
"How consciousness works."
DarthDinDjarin
"I'm shocked no one has replied to this. Because yea. I haven't the slightest clue and i honestly don't think scientists know exactly how either. Such a complex system that turns into our thoughts and feelings, this is one of those things that REALLY made me appreciate the intricacies of our bodies."
r-Newbiedonthurtme
10/10
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Every time my grandmother sees me, I seem to grow taller and more attractive."
JoeyMMuelle
I love grandmas. They understand everything.
S.O.S
Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy"How people can raise a functioning family at the age of 18 or 19? I can't even hold my own life together."
Radioactivocalypse
Staying Put
"Squatter rights! They confuse the hell outta me."
roomtempcoff33
"Right! So you’re telling me, I can get evicted/foreclosed for missing some payments… but you can’t get rid of squatters who declare a house theirs ? I should just become a squatter then haha."
violet-ack
"Squatting is basically the same. It's not that they just get to live there, but the landlord has to use the proper legal mechanism (eviction) to get rid of them. And sometimes, that can take quite some time."
banality_of_ervil
"Steps"
"How crypto mining works... like what exactly are these huge setups doing and why do GPUs matter so much? I've read several articles about it and I still don't get it."
Tripper-Harrison
"This is an oversimplification, but they're trying to solve a math problem. If they get the answer, they get rewarded with crypto. But the math problem is very very hard. There's no 'steps' to find the answer, it's just guess and check."
"So you need to make as many guesses as possible to see if one of your guesses is right. And it just so happens that GPUs are very good at making these guesses. So if 1 GPU can make let's say 22,000 guesses every second, then two GPUs can make 44,000 guesses every second. 10 GPUs can make 220,000 guesses every second, and so on."
PierogiMachine
I'm Lost
"The wave-particle duality."
FishySwede
"This is the one man. For me this is the biggest mystery. Look, I don't care how the universe came to be. I mean I do, but this is much crazier to me. HOW DOES REALITY REACT DIFFERENTLY BASED ON OBSERVATION ALONE I sear this haunts me at night. Do i even exist man."
yungbandido
"Long story short, observing something at the quantum level is not as benign as observing, say, a runner on a racetrack. In observing something so small, the mere act of doing so affects the behavior/outcome. Imagine having to knock the aforementioned runner over in order to know where they are on the track. That's more or less how it was explained to me."
BaronMusclethorpe
Magic
Ross Mcelwee Photography GIF by FilmStruckGiphy"Cameras, I’ve been explained and seen explanations 100 times. It’s still magic to me."
Salty-Director538
Maybe there are just somethings we're not meant to understand.
RedditorBig-Courage-7297 wanted to know what some people really thought when they looked into a mirror.
"How hot do you think you are? Why?"
Depending on the minute and the era, I fluctuate in my response. Oh, and depending on my sodium intake.
Middle of the way...
Mackenzie Ziegler Makeup GIF by Brat TVGiphy"5, am not ugly nor a beauty."
son-of-sumer
"'Perfectly balanced, as all things should be' JK... you probably look great."
math_math99
Alright
"I give myself a solid 'alright for an old guy' out of 10."
TungstenkrillYup.
"Comparing myself to when I was young I feel like a 2. However if I look around at other guys my age, I'm doing pretty great. Simply still having a full head of hair puts me in the top 15%."
sarcasticorange
"Occupying the latter half of the age bracket here too. And while I’ve never considered myself wildly attractive, one of my wife’s work friends once remarked to her, 'you didn’t tell me your husband was a silver fox!' I keep that one in my back pocket for gloomy days."
Ryanbikes2
Mama Said...
"My mom said I'm a 10/10."
gamer25677
"His mom also said I’m a 10/10. Im starting to think she says that about everyone who’s been inside her."
AlwaysMooning
"Don't listen to these jealous haters you be that 10/10 and strut your stuff."
"Learning to love yourself, doesn't mean you don't see your own flaws but know where to improve and where and how you want to grow. Appreciate the goodness within even when it's hard, and work to have your ideal to be reflected on the outside too. Loving and forgiving yourself is the greatest peace you'll know, because everyone else might be gone at the end and you'll be left with you and your memories, make good ones. Spread positivity. 💕"
SevWagoner
Changes with time...
"I think most people's scores fluctuate with age. I like to think I was a solid 8/10 in my early 20s. Then my metabolism crashed and I was working a desk job. I got real fat, got lazy, less effort, dropped to a 4/10. Got my s**t back together, lost the weight, started putting in the effort again, back up to an 8 if not higher in my 30s."
"Then I had a traumatic event in my life and I slipped into a dark place for many years. I put on weight again, stopped putting in the effort, general depression stuff, 5/10. Now I'm in my 40s, working on keeping my weight down, putting in some effort, solid 6/10..."
"But no matter what has happened, how low or high I've been... my wife has always considered me a 10. She's the best woman I've ever met and will always be a 10 to me too."
Bannon9k
Oof...
Freaks And Geeks Photo GIFGiphy"6 or 7 on a good day? 1 when I try to take a picture of myself."
baconpoutine89
God I hated picture day. Still do.
Bad Hair GIF by TV LandBless You
"I have days where I think 'God da*n, look at me. I’m God’s gift,' and then other days where I think 'how does every mirror not break?'"
Conconharni
"Actually though. Part of it is I used to be super athletic but due to an injury now can’t, but go**amn, I could look quite literally like a sculpture of a Greek god or hero, but also a balding baby-faced creep. Also occasionally homeless. More often the two latter than the former"
Walshy231231
Getting Higher
"I think I was a 6 growing up. But now that I've matured into my late 30s I'm a solid 7."
Ok-Type9999
"This is me except as a kid I’d give myself a 3. Long-haired greaseball in my teens but now in my 30s, exercising for the past decade has really helped me out. Solid 7/10."
Fine-Difference-6896
"Man, I went from 4 to 8 to 5 in the span of 20 years. Metabolism is a *itch."
ELL_YAY
Bad Views
"I just remind myself that the me that looks bad in in some pictures/at some angles is the same me that looks good in other pictures/other angles, just a different version. There are some angles and types of lighting and mirrors that for whatever reason, will make just about anybody look bad. There is no such thing as someone who looks good when the phone camera opens itself and shows a view of you from under your chin."
StreetIndependence62
Boy Magnet
ichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy"I was objectively pretty hot when I was younger. Now I am an older hot, which is weird. Younger guys really dig me but I’m like, you weren’t even born when the Challenger blew up and I was at Uni."
dearabby1
We're all beautiful. Just keep saying that. Maybe it'll stick.