It's time to talk truth.
Humans seem to do all we can to avoid that word.
Nobody wants to be embarrassed or feel weird.
But if we don't ask the hard questions to get to the truth (with finesse) we're just running on assumptions.
And assumptions are the enemy, especially in relationships.
But what a world of difference it would be if you just had a respectful conversation about all the things.
Let's try...
RedditorBatman_1267wanted all of the men out there to share some things they've been dying to talk about, they asked:
"Men of reddit, what's something you've always wanted to ask a woman but thought it would be too embarrassing to ask them?"
I'll go first.
Ladies. Why do you hate heels? Maybe you're not practicing enough.
Now y'all...
Leakage
I Get It Wow GIF by Awkward Daytime TVGiphy"I always assumed periods were a constant stream of blood (like a cut, as another Redditor put it). Apparently this is wrong, so how does it work? Small gushes?"
billionai1
"Very very very slow leaks… slow on day one, a little heavy on the second and third day, slow to none for the next couple days… varies from person to person."
inmyelement
Roll It
"Do you really like it when men roll up their sleeves?"
Bigbird_Elephant
"Yes. Can't really tell you why. Something about the forearms. It's important to note that it's a phenomenon specific to having long sleeves that are rolled up; a shirt with three quarter sleeves does not produce the same effect. (I think it might be linked to giving the appearance that you're ready to knuckle down and work even though you aren't dressed for it. Idk.)"
LJGHunter
Let's Chat...
"What‘s the most neutral and comfortable to start a conversation (maybe at a bar), without being too shy or too aggressive/rude?"
firebullmonkey
"For me commenting on what’s going on around us. If you’ve tried the cocktails before and want to share opinions, if there’s a game on and I’m looking up at the tv, if there’s a couple on a first date nearby, whatever. The really important thing is to get a good read on if the response is polite vs engaged. If I give you a “yeah” with nothing else stop trying lol even if I smiled or whatever."
General_Organa
Basics...
"Other than the obvious (lying, cheating, rude to you or your friends)what’s the quickest way for your S.O, or someone you’re interested in, to lose your respect?"
DanMittaul
"Lack of general manners or hygiene. Please/thank you/excuse me are important. Regularly bathing, washing your hands, trimming your nails, tidy clothes, etc are important. If you don't invest time and care into these basic things, how am I to know that you will invest time and care into our relationship?"
holy__granola
Smooth...
the silence of the lambs hannibal GIFGiphy"How do many of you have such nice skin? I want to be silky smooth too."
I_ate_your_skin
"Your username makes this question… concerning."
Doom_Toon
How do you get skin that soft? I've tried the lotions. Not working.
With a Cracker
String Cheese Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Does offering cheese really work?"
Shardnic
papayaseth
The Wife Way
"If you have a wife, there is no question too embarrassing to ask."
high_dosage_of_life
"Before wife-liness, I was a nurse. We got rid of embarrassing questions right off the bat when we were discussing 'experience.' He had none in the physical relationship department, and neither did I, however, I did have to admit that I had probably seen and handled more penises than he ever had... and come to think of it, more vaginas as well, lol."
DishyPanHands
Stay Together
"What’s the deal with peeing together?"
beetus_gerulaitis
"Safety in numbers. Also we like to reapply make up or have a little gossip by ourselves, sometimes it just nice to go with someone else and continue whatever conversation you were previously having."
DI93
Be Free
"If bras give support then why does it feel good when you take them off? Would it feel good to never wear a bra?"
TinyThrowy
"Have you ever worn really tight jeans? They hold everything in place but the firm contact all day gets a bit much. Not wearing a bra if you have larger breasts can be pretty uncomfortable."
"It hurts your back (bras help a little by holding everything in centre so your gravity isn’t too funky), your breast hurt if you move too much, you get sweat under your boobs where they touch your skin. Not fun for everyone. Also it can be uncomfortable when your nipples rub against your clothes from excess movement."
Extension_Drummer_85
Listen
couple hug GIFGiphy"When you are really upset, how would you like your partner to respond or comfort you?"
Think8437
"Be empathetic, hold her (if she's comfortable with that), listen, and ask if she wants your advice. If she doesn't, just be a good listener and don't make her feel like she's to blame or that her feelings aren't valid."
MelanisticCrow
Postures
"How do you do the math and physics for when you pee outside? Some of my female friends took postures straight out of a yoga book and never made a mess."
LeMiaow51
"Sometimes I lean back on a rock or stump (almost in a 'crab walk' position) so that I am aimed at the ground and not my feet/pants."
BreWanKenobi
Playtime
"Do women play with their own breasts out it boredom? Like randomly squeeze them."
Regera80
"I do and it actually helped me! I was just laying in bed one day, playing with my boobs and I noticed a lump. Eventually went to the doctor and they were like, 'oh, were you doing a self exam when you found it?' And I had to be like, 'well, no…'"
"I ended up getting a biopsy and it was a fibroadenoma (benign common tumor in younger women) but I basically had to skirt around the fact that I found the lump from feeling my boobs in bed. No one ever asked directly, I just avoided being specific when they asked how I found it."
Apozerycki1
Hairy Situations
"How do you shampoo long hair? I've always had short hair, so lather and rinse is pretty easy, but with long hair I feel like it would get complicated quickly."
TheMathNut
"With shampoo you basically get used to massaging it directly on your scalp and the rest of your hair kinda rinses out along with any dirt as you wash away the shampoo. You focus on your scalp because that's where things get greasy and you don't want the bottoms of your hair to get too dry. This is why you also focus the conditioner towards the ends of your hair."
COVID_KISSES
Obsession...
"What is the obsession with murder? The whole serial killer book/podcast industry seems largely female oriented. Ironically many females I know who love this stuff also hate fake violence in fictional movies?"
Yngstr
"I’m taking notes so I don’t make the mistakes they made that got them caught."
"Honestly though, it’s a combination of the psychological aspect (why did they do it, what was going on in their head, what made them the way they are) and the forensic/investigation side of things. I also know some women who watch them in part to learn in some way how not to be the victim of crimes likes those featured."
Glowingrose
In the Books
"In a book/piece of writing, what do you think is the best way to describe a woman in a sexual context without being too crude or cliche or getting into the whole 'she breasted boobily down the stairs' thing?
"I'm a writer but I would feel WAY too awkward asking any of my girl friends this 💀 writing women characters isn't hard for me per se, you just give them goals, development and make them add to the story like anybody else. But I'm always second guessing myself when it comes to writing stuff in an intimate context."
AV8ORboi
'hot guy'
"Have heard what not to do on a date mostly but what are the top things a guy can do on a date? Without coming off as awkward or weird?"
UnKoNoWnDuDe
"Your looks will count for a little more in the beginning because I don't know you very well. But if you come across as decent, charming and confident, looks start to fade into the background."
"My husband is never going to win any 'hot guy' awards. He's a bit overweight, going grey, wears glasses and has more hair on his back than on his head. But I immediately fell in love with his personality; he's everything I've ever wanted in a man on the inside, so I honestly don't care what the outside looks like."
LJGHunter
Give it a try!
"How do you all make those little towel hats when you get out of the shower?"
mw407
"Imagine you have your towel across your back, both ends in each hand, flip you hair forward so you're bent over roughly 90°, being the towel forward so it's completely draped over your head until the edge of the towel that was touching your thighs, is now at the base of your hairline on the back of your neck, the towel is now draped over your head, grab the drape and twist it a few times, then toss it back. Give it a try! You don't even need hair to do it!"
78Carnage
Prepared
Giphy"Does it appear weird that I have pads and stuff ready, even though I don't need any? My mother once said that would be very nice when I have people over and periods just happens. I agreed to that thought, so I have some in the bathroom."
FanStrong3311
A Leg Up
"As far as I can tell, leggings are one of the most universal/flexible pieces of clothing a woman can wear and still remain as casual as jeans, but as comfy as pjs. YET you always manage to look hella good regardless of what top you pair with leggings. What the f**k do you wear with leggings/how do you always seem to pair it correctly? (Correctly being it never looks like something you wouldn’t pair with it)."
Honorzeal
Listening, empathy and cheese. It's always more simple than we make it.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.
