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People Divulge The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Heard Someone Say

People Divulge The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Heard Someone Say
Ospan Ali / Unsplash

I once had a man ask why I would choose to have my period on a Saturday knowing we were supposed to go snorkeling.

Aside from the astonishment that this man thought I could choose the day, I'll be honest and say I expected his concern to be shark-related since ... ya know ... snorkeling.

Fam it was much, much dumber than that.


This man, this adult human male old enough to drink and vote and make children, was upset with me because he believed my super-absorbency tampon would impact the water levels and we couldn't snorkel in the shallow water.

Because the tampon lodged securely inside of me would suck it up.

Reddit user Why_Not_Zoidbergaww asked:

"What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard someone say?"

​Holiday Hours For Emergencies 

Good Night Goodbye GIF by CBCGiphy

" 'Wait hospitals are open on public holidays'?' How the hell do you respond to that?"

- Bo-Cruz

"Yes"

- moo100times

“ 'No, you just die if an accident occurs on holidays.' Merry Christmas everyone is home for the holiday so you’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow stab wound and all. Have a great day"

- Bacnnator

​Foreigner Inception 

"The worst thing about travelling abroad is all the foreigners"

- StonksStink

"Well it’s a pretty true statement, I assume the person who said it didn’t realise they are actually talking about themselves though."

- neers1985

"My ex FIL was exactly like this, he constantly complained about all the foreigners and the foreign food whilst on holiday in a foreign country."

- bertiebastard

Too Cold

Season 9 Reaction GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"My mom, after getting ice cream in the drive through at Dairy Queen:"

"oh! My ice cream is too cold, can you heat it up a little bit?"

- Flounder_guppy

"Omg I used to make warm ice cream soup when I was little!!!!"

"It's delicious :)"

- littlegingerfae

"My grandmother use to blow on her ice cream to warm it up 😂"

- mommysauras

"I understand exactly what she meant tho. Softserve must be soft!"

- YogurtFirm

Eat What Now?

""What is wrong, scientifically, with eating your own poop? Hear me out. I'm serious. It's food that's already been in your body. Yeah, nobody does that. But why, scientifically or medically is it wrong?"

- sovereignsekte

"This person was already doing it and wanted affirmation on their life choices."

- rayEW

"This sounds like something Joe Rogan would say."

- Captain_Hammertoe

Wrong Ungulate

goat eating GIFGiphy

"Friend: 'I don't get it: how the f*ck do goats grow into deer in the wild but stay goats at the farm?' "

"Me: 'Ayo what the f*ck?' "

"Friend: 'I know, right? With a pony, you can at least see how it'll grow up to be a horse but the goats look so different from deer.' "

"... ?"

- Corvus_Manufaktura

"Yeah and a Pony is a pony, it's not going to grow up to be a horse so that just makes the comment even stupider (although a lot of people think a baby horse is called a pony, so that part at least makes some sense)."

- golden_fli

"it’s been 10 minutes and i can’t stop laughing. thank you for this lol"

- robertaasdf

Who's More Dumb

"crows can't be that smart if they can't use sign language"

- Analdragongrip

"Apologies, I clearly must be stupid if I don’t have fingers."

- Toxicity5675

How Bad Was He?

"One of my dumbest friends said this in middle school and I somehow remember it 'was Hitler really that bad?' and it wasn't a joke"

- Lt_Birch

"Well... dude asked 😆💁♀️"

- EquivalentControl972

Reading.

Unimpressed Sea GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"Bro you read, they're just words it's stupid"

"I was just embarrassed for them"

- alittleoverthinker

"just looking at symbols, what a waste if time!"

- hastingsnikcox

"Bruh, why are you so into math? It’s just meaningless symbols assigned value by society"

- Why_Not_Zoidbergaww

Pop-Out Book Astrologyidontdigdinosaurs

"My talking with family: I can't believe (family member age 60+) doesn't know the difference between the sun and the moon"

"Other family member age 30+: isn't the sun a gas giant?"

"Other family member age 40+: isn't the sun just the moon flipped around?"

"9 year old: the sun is a star the moon is just a moon"

"Me and 9 year old looking at each other like how are we related to these people"

"Everyone was dead serious with their answers an did argue with us explaining how they saw it in pop out books"

- dawnface42069

"At least they don’t think that the sun is a planet"

- Why_Not_Zoidbergaww

"To this day I still don't know what they think the sun is lol"

- dawnface42069

"Women I knew thought giraffes ate birds."

- idontdigdinosaurs

"That is so weird . . . I suppose in her mind the long neck is for snatching birds out of trees or the air? Just trying to imagine how she came to such an 'understanding'."

- --VoidHawk--

"Lol my misreading just made that so much dumber (and funnier)... I first read are instead of ate. And was for a second seriously wondering how someone thinks an animal with neither wings nor feathers or beaks and with four legs was a bird xD then I read again and was like oooooh well"

- mycrazyblackcat

"She’s wrong ofc, but not like completely wrong. Sometimes animals like giraffes, horses and deers eat birds or other animals so supplement vitamins they may lack. It’s not at all common, but common enough for there to be photos and videos of it. They’re still herbivores though"

- pestilencerat

Once you're over the headache that all must have given you, meet us in the comments for even more of *gestures vaguely at the stupid* thiiiiiis.

People's Weirdest Experiences They Can't Logically Explain

"Reddit user GifGuyRob asked: 'What is the weirdest thing you have seen that you can’t really explain?'

Every now and again, we might experience something that makes us stop dead in our tracks or gives us the shivers.

More often than not, there is a logical explanation for what happened, often resulting in our laughing about it down the line.

An electrical power surge caused the lights to flicker, that haunting noise we heard was just a nearby car radio, or that unexplained cold blast of air was simply owing to our standing too close to the air conditioning vent.

But sometimes, we experience something we simply cannot explain, and still lie awake at night trying to figure it out.

Redditor GifGuyRob was curious to hear people's mystifying experiences to which they still can't offer an explanation, leading them to ask:

"What is the weirdest thing you have seen that you can’t really explain?"

Card Tricks... Without The Cards.

"I was hanging out on the sidewalk in front of a drugstore when some dude walked by, stopped, looked at me, and asked me to think of a card, any card."

"Then he said 'you’re picturing the five of clubs!'"

"I was amazed."

"That’s the card I was thinking of."

”'Holy sh*t, that’s right!' I said."

"The dude just winked and walked away."

"That’s the best magic trick I’ve ever seen, and it was some rando on the street that I never saw again."

"I have no clue how he did it, other than some form of subliminal planting of the image in my mind, but that’s unreliable."

"It was a card trick that involved no cards at all."

"That was the most inexplicable thing I’ve ever seen."- I_Framed_OJ

Cosmic Injustice...

"In a hospital, the nicer the patient, the worse the prognosis."

"If they work charities and are really polite, definitely aggressive cancer."

"If they are rude a**holes, they will live long no matter how sick they are."- Koorsboom

The Knocks Hospital GIF by feierSunGiphy

Paranormal Activity

"I once saw a clipboard fly off of the hook it hung on and land around 3 feet away."

"The room was totally still beforehand, no breeze or earthquake or anything."

"Just hanging up where it always was, then flung across the room for no reason at all."

"Most boring poltergeist ever."- Reiseoftheginger

Lucky Pennies...

"I was living in my last apartment back in the 90s."

"I walked down the hall, turned to go to the bathroom, and got hit in the back with a penny."

"Nobody else was in the apartment."- kmsc84

Wrong Floor...

"Family was on holiday at a resort in Vietnam."

"My sister and I took an elevator in the hotel and it stopped and opened up on the top floor, where nothing was built."

"Just bricks laying about, a wheelbarrow, no fence or wall around the edge of the building, and there was a single small tree growing out of the ground in front of the elevator doors a few feet out."

"There was also this impenetrable fog that was floating around, obscuring the sight of what would be the rest of the resort below and it was quite windy."

"We both agreed it was weird and looked dangerous to be up here - we clearly weren't meant to have access to the top floor since it wasn't fully constructed."

"We went back down to the ground floor and noticed that it was actually a sunny and clear day all round."

"We wondered where that fog and wind went to."

"So we decided to go back to the unfinished rooftop level to check again, but when we did it was perfectly fine and fully built."

"We couldn't explain it and couldn't find that half-built top floor again afterwards."- lifesnotperfect

Going Up 13Th Floor GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy

Not-So-Little Piggy

"My friends and I flashed a powerful light across a river and saw what appeared to be an absolutely massive boar."

"It then stood up on its hind legs and it simply did not compute."

"Immediate fear everyone ran."

"I was a kid but I have a very good memory and several friends that are positive they saw it as well."

"Idk."- 444jxrdan444

Unexplained Exit

"I went from driving on one highway to another highway in pouring rain."

"Still headed in the right direction, and about 10 miles in total displacement."

"But I consciously chose one and was on it until I saw road signs telling me I was one the other."

"I just went numb."

"No loss of time or any other abnormality."

"If I didn’t have to actually make a distinct effort to choose the route I wanted, I can see how it might have been a simple mistake."

"But I was on the road I chose (geography etc) until I wasn’t."

"Like something picked me up and put me down instantaneously and I didn’t notice until how long?"- Stayvein

Creature Of The Night

"Actually, one that was recently solved thanks to the internet!"

"We used to have parakeets in an outside aviary."

"One night I was woken up by the budgies screaming and there was... some odd animal attacking it."

"It had a pointed, cone shaped head, no visible ears and a long tail that was not foxlike."

"But it wasn't a possum."

"It was thin and moved like a cat -- it jumped and moved lithely."

"I tapped on the sliding glass door and it stopped, cocked its head, and came over to look at me."

"We were looking eye-to-eye and for the life of me I still couldn't figure out a face."

"Now I was really into nature in my area, really into reading books and sh*t because I wanted to be a forest ranger, and I still couldn't identify this animal."

"Everyone who I told said it was a bad dream but it was real."

"Anyway, years later it was still the weirdest thing that happened to me."

"The internet had come along and I finally had my answer: I saw a Fisher!"

"It's a super rare animal in my area -- like 500 left, max."

"Kind of like a weasel, but heavier."

"They do have ears, btw."

"I assume it was hidden by fur."- Z0ooool

Cabin In The Woods

"When I was about 13 or 14 years old myself and two friends found a house in the middle of the woods that just didn't make sense."

"We were all neighbors, and along all three of our houses was a very large wooded area."

"It runs a few miles back and becomes a state forest."

"We had run around these woods plenty of times and even had areas we'd recognize as we went."

"This particular day we followed this ravine that was sometimes a stream, but was dry at this time."

"That part is important, because we followed that same ravine several times after that and never could find the house again."

"When I say the house didn't make sense, I mean it. It was a white trailer."

"I'd say a double-wide."

"There was white underpinning along the bottom."

"It was a poor country area, so that's not uncommon."

"But it was unusually clean."

"Like, brand new, perfectly white."

"But that's still not the weird part."

"It didn't have doors."

"Or windows."

"Or a driveway."

"We were in the middle of the woods."

"The entire walk through the woods is full of bushes, thorns, spiderwebs, bugs, vines, logs."

"Woods stuff."

"But this was a clearing of flat grass like someone mowed this area."

"We weren't afraid or anything while we were there."

"There really wasn't anything remarkable about it, and that's honestly what makes it so weird to think about to this day."

"We just walked around it for a bit, said it was kinda weird, and we went back on our adventure."

"Eventually we all just went home."

"I'm still friends with both of the other kids."

"We're in our 30s and I'm even going to a wedding for one of them this weekend."

"We've talked about it since, and the story still just doesn't add up."

"My parents still live in that house, and we spent years after that day exploring the woods all the time."

"Never found it again."- Lemonbeeee

Horror Home GIF by Knock At The CabinGiphy

Sometimes our eyes might be playing tricks on us.

Other times, we know for certain what we're seeing is real, but simply can't explain what we're seeing.

Either way, there is little more disconcerting in this world than uncertainty.


Several lotto balls lay on a mirrored floor; all the balls are white and black with different numbers except one that is white and blue, with the number 20
Alejandro Garay/Unsplash

Who hasn't, at one time or another, dreamed about hitting the lottery big time?

When you do lotto research (as I frequently have), you learn the best thing for you is anonymity.

Hiding your fortune is one of the best ways to stay alive!

That's not a dramatic statement.

There are horror stories surrounding lotto winners.

Money changes everything, so keep your secrets.

Redditor divorced_dad_670 wanted to hear about how creative people would get to make sure nobody knew they were super rich, so they asked:

"Powerball is currently at 1.4b, if you won, what is your cover story as to why you’ve suddenly gained so much wealth?"

I have thought long and hard about how I'm going to win the lottery and how I will hide it.

I'm clearly not alone as may Redditors have their own plans.

Out West

Farm Workers Food GIF by Denyse®Giphy

"No cover story. I'd tell no one. Then I'd move to a ranch in the middle of nowhere in the Pacific Northwest, and spend the rest of my days riding dirt bikes and gardening."

Clintman

Fists Up

"Keep working for a week or two. Get more and more angry. Get in a fight with someone and get fired, never to be heard from again. No one will miss me."

dr_xenon

"I would totally miss you, dude. I feel like we are kindred spirits, you and I. And I would never let a kindred spirit miss out on a prime business opportunity like the one I am about to tell you."

TigLyon

"Bro, for 10k, I'll start the fight with you, and you can leave because of a hostile work environment. Then in 6 months when you blow it all, you can come back to work and I'll apologize."

spenser1994

Spend Less

"If people have realized I've gained obscene wealth, I've failed already."

thoawaydatrash

"The only way to really tell is if you go straight Hollywood baller route. I remember 50 Cent saying you don't want a house that big. If you think s**t I don't want to walk all the way down there it's too big."

Klashus

"This. I would absolutely not tell anyone, keep working, pay off my house and car (and not tell anyone), (secretly) invest, and keep my mouth shut."

AnAntsyHalfling

Remember

"Bought Bitcoin early. Forgot password. Remembered password."

savethearthdontbirth

"This sort of happened to me. I got tipped $1 in Bitcoin years ago because of some stupid comment here on Reddit. I forgot about it for years until Bitcoin was actually worth something. Sold that little bit for ~$300! Most forgettable comment I’ve ever made on here, but the most profitable!"

Vefantur

Be Gone

"I won the Powerball. I'm disconnecting my number. You won't be able to reach me. If I want to reach you, I'll send a helicopter. Lol, get screwed, nerds."

"Vanishes in a cloud of smoke which cost me $230,000 to have set up!"

d**k_for_hire

A big, splashy peace out "I QUIT" MOMENT can be a lot of fun.

Fools...

Diva Hello GIF by WHOLLY GUACAMOLEGiphy

"I'd tell people I stopped buying avocado toast based on a story on the news - next thing I knew it I had a ton of extra cash."

random-idiom

Making a Family

"I’d immediately start some bogus MLM, and begin soliciting anyone who asked about my money. I know I haven’t seen you since high school, but I’d like to talk to you about an exciting business opportunity. We’re more of a family than a team, really. If you’re a go-getter, you’re exactly who we’re looking for. #Bossbabe #MyownCEO #IDidYouCanToo."

Nwcray

"This is actually genius. People will think you're swimming in debt to sell the idea, when in fact, you're swimming in cash 😂."

69stangrestomod

Florida Issues

"I would say I sold all my crypto. Those who say they didn't know I was in crypto I would say yeah I didn't want to talk about it because too many crypto bros out there ruined talking about it. Florida releases the names of winners 90 days after they claim it. So the lie is not going to work for long. I would have isolated myself by then so it's not like I will need to worry about people showing up where I live and work asking for money."

"Apparently a corporation, trust, non-profit, partnership, or estate can claim lottery winnings in Florida. I was told many years ago that you had to claim it yourself. That's great to know I don't have to claim it myself. I'm still concerned it would get out that I won. That would be a nice worry to have compared to worries I am dealing with."

Orcus424

BOOM!!

"When a colleague who ran our work lottery syndicate decided it was our turn to win, he said we should figure out how we were going to quit."

"His plan was supposedly to blow the south wall off the open plan office all the programmers use, hire a helicopter with some sort of harness arrangement, and the London symphony orchestra to play him away from the car park with Ode to Joy as he disappeared backward on his harness over the city under the helicopter with two fingers up at the building the whole time. I wish he’d won, he was just crazy enough to have possibly done it."

JT_3K

Karma

"I will ask everyone I know if I can borrow money. Every single person will be asked for an amount that will be enough that they don't say yes instantly but not so large they can't afford it. If I barely know you maybe I ask to borrow $40. If you're my parents I ask for $10k. I write down every single person's response. When I am later asked for anything I will reply with that exact answer."

nevetscx1

Simple Plans

signing season 3 GIFGiphy

"No cover story. You call an accountant, a lawyer, and a financial advisor. You move states and claim the ticket after you have moved."

-brokenbones-

Money is fantastic but it can be dangerous.

Lessons learned.

Do you have any fantasies about winning the lotto? Let us know in the comment below.

graves in a cemetery
Waldemar on Unsplash

When someone dies young, people often lament they're "gone too soon."

Death comes for us all eventually, but sometimes it's especially shocking when a person on the cusp of greatness dies—often tragically.

Keep reading...Show less
Vintage toy store window
Nong on Unsplash

It's funny, because depending on our financial management, some of us get really "spend happy" once we have an adult job with adult money.

But others realize instead that they may not need to buy everything they can suddenly afford, but just that one thing they've wanted since childhood.

Curious about others' wish list items, Redditor zydollasiign asked:

"What did you purchase as an adult because you could never have it as a child?"

A Metal Detector

"A metal detector. I always wanted one as a kid, but my dad said I'd use it a handful of times, and then it would sit and collect dust forever."

"I bought myself one, and it turns out that my dad was right."

- AlmostSane67

Just Desserts

"Desserts at restaurants."

- TenderPhoenix

"Yes! And appetizers and a soda. I was only ever allowed to get one thing; I could choose an appetizer, a main dish, OR a dessert. But getting all three and a drink makes me feel so bougie."

- Fun_Acanthisitta1101

Options at the Book Fair

"It's not about what I buy myself but I make sure my kid has plenty of money for the book fair."

- EnvironmentSmart4698

"The parent I dream to be… you’re awesome."

- lmwk4gcc

The Big Pack

"The gigantic pack of Crayola crayons!! Just took me 65 years… lol (laughing out loud)... and I love them!"

- MyCat_SaysThis

"I don’t share my 120-pack, either. I got the variety pack of Sharpie and Flair, too!"

- littlescreechyowl

Proper Clothes

"Clothes that fit."

- dark-medicine

"Ugh, my mother was absolutely DELUSIONAL about what size clothing I wore. I was 18-20 before I realized that you weren't SUPPOSED to buy clothes you could just barely squeeze yourself into, clothes that dug deep red marks into you all day, clothes that caused you physical pain to wear. It was incredible the first time I bought myself a pair of pants that actually fit."

- SharMarali

"Opposite for me. My mom was paranoid about me "growing out" of stuff and it was so embarrassing and uncomfortable. Having so much extra fabric is so uncomfortable and makes it so hard to just function like a normal human."

"Having clothes that were the correct size was life-changing."

- pm_me_your_shaved_ice

"I work somewhere that sells a specialty clothing item for a youth activity (think something like sports jerseys). I frequently have to talk moms out of buying several sizes too big for their teenagers!"

"Yes, when the kid is eight and wearing a medium, I tell mom to get a large or even an XL so it fits for more than six months. But it is shocking to me how many moms want to buy a 2XL for their 15-year-olds who wear a small!"

"They’re not going to keep growing that much! Let them get the one they’ll be comfortable in. It’s like they have no idea when a kid will stop growing, even when the kid is taller than them."

- TheWishingStar

Therapy

"Therapy."

- HeresDave

"I can relate to this so hard, it hurts."

- candid84asoulm8bled

A Gaming System

"All the current gaming consoles. Feels good, man!"

- ImInJeopardy

"And never have time to play anything! My PS5 might as well be a $600 paperweight."

- Agreeable_Pizzy93

"Feel you here. I’m able to buy any game I want now. Have about 300 quality games in my library. Super juiced computer. If I am able to play for a few hours on a Friday night, it’s a win. Adulting is a paradox."

- ask_me_about_my_band

Ice Cream Cake

"Ice Cream Cake."

"My sister was a spring baby. She got ice cream cakes. I never got ice cream cakes because it was hot for my birthday and my mother said they'd melt too quickly."

"Now I get my own d**n ice cream cakes. I don't care if they melt."

- RumandDiabetes

"Growing up, I never got a birthday cake in the flavor that I liked because my mom hated those flavors. Now I don't have to dread having to eat my own birthday cake anymore."

- yodelingllama

High-Speed Internet

"The fastest Internet I could buy in my area."

- Cic3ro

"Same, grew up on Dial-up. It was torture."

- DukeOfJokes

A Comfortable Mattress

"As a teen, I started sleeping on the floor because my childhood mattress was so bad. I remember buying my first new one as an adult. It was one of those memory foam ones that came in a box."

"I ordered it online and paid $600. I felt like I was rich being able to do that. And it was the best mattress I had ever slept on."

- BartenderNichole

A Cat

"A cat."

- kittengoesrawr

"Same here. My mom kept saying she was allergic, but suddenly, now that I'm on my own, she has no issues taking care of him when I leave town. Make it make sense."

- anny_elle17

Comfortable Shoes

"Comfortable shoes! Growing up with flat feet and parents who didn’t want to shell out a lot of money for shoes meant that I wore uncomfortable tennis shoes for years. That’s why as soon as it was warm enough and sometimes not, I would wear flip-flops because they didn’t hurt my feet."

"My husband makes sure my shoes fit comfortably because when we met, my one 'comfortable' pair was falling apart because I was so broke, I couldn’t afford shoes. He took me shoe shopping as a date and bought me comfortable shoes."

- coffeeandjesus1986

"(Crying emoji), what a keeper."

- alley_underland

"Protect that man at all cost."

- No-Panda-8606

Playing Doctor

"I grew up in a home where my parents practiced a religion that said you can’t seek medical help or go to doctors. I always wanted the Operation game and a pretend doctor’s bag like my friends had."

"When I became a parent, my child received a play doctor’s kit and the Operation game for Christmas one year."

- MadMomma85

Basic Privacy

"Privacy."

- Puzzled_Cheetah8390

"Raising my glass to FINALLY knowing 100% no one will rifle through my things and then confront me because they didn’t like what they found and then blame god for telling them to do it."

"No, Mom, no one told you to snoop. You went through my stuff hoping to find something shocking, and got mad because all you learned was that I left my laundry in the dryer without folding it on purpose just to annoy you and that Dad let me have half a beer one night while we watched 'Bubba HoTep' on USA UP All night."

- 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor

"Same! My mom used to go through my things and read my journal. I never understood it, I was a nerd with a small group of friends who didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs, or have a boyfriend for that matter."

"I caught her so many times that she banned me from using the word 'snoop.'"

"Anyway, I understand now, it wasn't about being worried about me, it was about having control over me and me knowing I didn't have a safe space."

"Congrats to all the kids that finally reclaimed their safe place."

- RebelRigantona

Backups

"Aww man. I could name multitudes. I have been very blessed since I got married."

"But the main thing I do now is buy multiples of various grocery items we buy regularly to just keep the house stocked. When we open the last one, I go out and buy two or three more."

"Something about just knowing you have it available is comforting. Growing up we never bought anything unless we were OUT of it."

- No_Property1875

This conversation went from wholesome to anticlimactic to heartbreaking and back again.

There were some basic wants, like privacy, properly-fitting clothing, and appropriate shoes, that everyone should just be able to have. They should be a right rather than a privilege.

But fortunately, there were enjoyable things here, too, like more money for the Book Fair, fuzzy companions, and ice cream cake, that are wonderful to give to ourselves when our parents were unwilling or unable.

Adult money needs to be put toward bills and basic expenses, yes, but it should be put toward joy, too.