It can't possibly be easy to be a probation officer. Your job is to routinely check in on previous criminal offenders, make sure they're following their probation guidelines and sticking to their community service and, oh, right, make sure they're not breaking laws anymore. Shouldn't be too difficult, but sometimes the offenders make it difficult. Reddit user, u/madcre, wanted to know about those times when they asked:
When They Don't Do As They're Told[rebelmouse-image 18345132 is_animated_gif=
Probation officers of reddit, whats the dumbest thing that you've seen an offender do while on probation?
...Who?[rebelmouse-image 18358922 is_animated_gif=
Had a kid on probation for your basic teenage offenses (minor vandalism, shoplifting); kid had a rough upbringing and almost no role models so the judge took it easy on him and he got sentenced to community service rather than Big Boy Jail.
Didn't show up.
The kid just didn't go because, according to him, he wasn't about to be seen picking up trash like some lowclass "insert whatever racial slur kid could think of." Well, guess who got to go to Big Boy Jail.
Cheers! You're Going To Jail[rebelmouse-image 18358923 is_animated_gif=
A friend of mine was a probation officer we were out at a bar one night after a softball game and she abruptly said "I need money for 2 shots, I'll tell you why in a minute."
Confused but intrigued I gave her some cash and watched as she went to the bar and ordered 2 shots. She went up to a guy I didn't know and was quite a bit older than our friend circle was. She handed him 1 of the shots, did the cheers salute and took her shot. She said "see you at my office tomorrow" and came back to our table. He just stood there staring at us for a few seconds, took his shot, and left.
She fills me in that the man was on probation and had a scheduled appointment with her the next morning. She was pretty confident that he would be going to jail for being caught in the bar, so she figured she would buy him his last drink.
Steering Into The Chaos[rebelmouse-image 18358924 is_animated_gif=
My old friend who was on probation and on the way to meet his probation officer for a meeting and drug screen. I think he was on probation for writing some bad checks.
Anyway, he forgets to allow enough time for his bag of purchased "clean" pee to sit next to his body to heat to the right temperature. Genius decides to swing by a gas station on his way to meet his officer and throw the piss bag in the microwave. Welp, somehow he lost track of time with this as well and ended up exploding his pee bag in the microwave. Knowing he had no solutions to his now multiple problems, he went back home and partied. He didn't even clean out the microwave.
Turned himself in when the warrant was issued and went to jail for 30-ish days.
Coming Clean[rebelmouse-image 18347917 is_animated_gif=
I was on probation years ago. At the time I had a serious opioid and benzo habit. I had just spent a week in jail over a probation violation for not paying a fine. Got out, started back at it right away, since I didn't use for a week my tolerance went down a bit. I had to see my probation officer in a week from the time I got out.
That whole week was a blur but I remember the night before, I did a few pills, passed out in my car in a grocery store parking lot. I wake up to cops around me. They make me get out, I take a sobriety test where you watch their fingers and such the a breathalyzer, I pass both. I get back in my car, they tell me to get going but leave before I did. I didn't want to drive that messed up, so I didn't and passed out again in the same spot. The same cops come back a few hours later, again they give me the tests and I pass. They tell me to pull my car over to the side of the street where I sleep for the night. The next morning I go to see my PO, I was still completely wasted, though, at the time I didn't realize this. My P.O. knows I am messed up the minute she looks at me. She sends me in the bathroom with this guy to pee in a cup, when coming out of the bathroom I had forgotten to button my pants, they fall down right in front of her, I had underwear on fortunately.
She asks me if I have a drug problem, I tell her no, but I may fail the drug test because of prescriptions. She again asks me if I need to go to rehab, I say no. Looking back on it, she was giving me the option of rehab rather then jail. Anyway, she handcuffs me and takes me to country jail, I was there for 3 months. To top it all off, I had driven to my PO's office. Luckily she didn't site me for the DUI though. They had my car impounded and I never got it back.
This was years ago. I have over 3 years sober now. I was a complete f* up, and am so thankful to be where I am today.
Taking The Easy Way Out[rebelmouse-image 18358925 is_animated_gif=
Former PO... We had to stand in the bathroom and watch as the offenders provided a urine sample. One time, a black male decided to use a "whizzinator" (plastic penis with a tube attached to a plastic bag full of "clean" urine). He didn't think that officers would be in the bathroom watching him and unfortunately for him, he used a white "whizzinator".
Another time, an offender was told that he was being arrested. He panicked and decided to run through the window, that was in his officer's cubicle (1st story). Apparently, not thinking that he was in South Florida, he bounced off of the hurricane proof glass. When he woke up, he was already in handcuffs, ready to go.
Window Cleaners Share The Best Things They've Ever Seen | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Just Come Clean
My former boss was a probation officer. He once told us about an 18 year old on probation for drug use that lived out in the country. He went one night to check on him. He was greeted at the door by the teen's father holding a shotgun as he had assumed my boss was an intruder. After explaining to the father why he was there it turned out that the teen had never told his parents about his arrest or drug use. The man called his son into the doorway and proceeded to force him to apologize to his probation officer.
People Can SEE My Facebook?[rebelmouse-image 18350557 is_animated_gif=
The amount of clients who don't realize their social media pages are public is insane. I had several clients post pictures of themselves smoking or drinking or being places they shouldn't be. Guess who'd get drug tested the next day? I also had a client post pictures of herself with her baby-daddy, who just so happened to be a wanted felon for the past four years. Cue nice big investigation where everyone ended up in jail.
Another fun story: client tests positive for THC one time. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But we have to take the proper steps. So I bring him in to have a conversation with my supervisor about it. We're basically going to tell him "hey, cut it out" and send him on his way. But this guy absolutely loses his mind during the conversation. Ranting and raving and telling us to take him to jail because that's what we want to do anyway. Wrong buddy. Just lay off the weed for six months until you're free. But nope. This guy gets so upset he throws a punch at me and ends up spending the next six months in jail.
TL;DR: make your social media pages private and don't be an overreactive crazy person.
Watching A Compatriot Lose Themselves[rebelmouse-image 18358926 is_animated_gif=
I was on probation at the time. We're in the waiting room, and some kid ( maybe 18-19) pulls out a small one hitter pipe. Everyone looks at him and he just takes a hit of spice in the f-cking waiting room, with everyone there just looking at him
Something Worse Than Cavities[rebelmouse-image 18358928 is_animated_gif=
Was an RA in at Pre-release center a summer while in college. Only time I had to read legal stuff and send someone back to prison was a guy that had used all of his food stamps that was supposed to go to his wife and kid on a bunch of candy. And illegal candy (only certain types were allowed in the center, but I really don't remember what/why).
So a thirty-something YO man was crying that he was going back to prison over some candy.
Incriminating YouTube[rebelmouse-image 18358929 is_animated_gif=
I'm a case manager for offenders placed on probation to help get their stuff together.
Not my client but I know one who narrowly passed his diversion program instead of going to prison, only to go to the probation lobby and a watch a rap video of himself. Waving pistols around. With a sheriff behind him watching it.
He was violated and sent to complete his prison sentence.
Wow, No Resistance Whatsoever[rebelmouse-image 18353697 is_animated_gif=
My dad is a PO when giving a drug test to a "client" the results came back and my dad ask the client if he had anything to tell him. The client then admits he stole his neighbor's Xbox.
Also they think it they unplug the ankle monitor receiver no one will notice.
Just Don't Say Anything...[rebelmouse-image 18345876 is_animated_gif=
At my court hearing, another dude was there because he allegedly got drunk one night and shot a bullet through the wall of his apartment complex. Apparently the cops confiscated a bunch of guns from this dude's apartment (not sure if they were legal or not). From how it sounded, this kid probably shouldn't have possessed any firearms. While he was at the stand, he asked the judge if he could have the guns returned because he still had a few and since they were part of a collection, he wanted them all together.
Complete silence in the courtroom. I watched the lawyer's shoulders tense up. The judge was not impressed. She let him have it for still having guns when he should've given all of them up that night. She told him he needed to turn in the rest of the guns or he'd be violating probation and would go to jail.
He probably kicked himself so hard after that.
But, Was The Puppy Okay??[rebelmouse-image 18358930 is_animated_gif=
An old roommate of mine was on probation for drunk driving and he calls me one day to ask if I can take his dog out for a walk because he won't be home. He rear ended a cop in a parking lot with an open beer in the car. He got an ankle bracelet and I got a new apartment.
I'm not living with someone that stupid.
Yeah, He Probably Got Fired[rebelmouse-image 18348218 is_animated_gif=
Guy showed up to probation reeking of alcohol (a multiple time ovi offender of course) naturally he got selected for a "random" breath test. Dude blew .293 and told me he last had a drink last night.
Now policy was that he could either have someone pick him up or he could stay until he sobered up (jail was overcrowded ).
Now he starts ranting and raving about how he is going to be late to work and he doesn't have anyone to call. I tell him tough, (I'm not letting him go alone to kill someone on the highway).
Eventually he gets desperate and calls his ex girlfriend and the crazy thing is she agrees to come! She shows up pissed as hell. I photo copy her license and hand him over to her. He tells me that he might get fired cause he's going to be late. The ex gives him the side eye I've ever seen and says " you haven't been this early to work in years!"
I laughed my a-- off till I went to bed.
Repetitive Repetition[rebelmouse-image 18358931 is_animated_gif=
Had a client sentenced for transportation fraud, skipped out on cab fare.
Guess how she got to her 1st appointment with me?
Yep, took a cab to my office and skipped out on the fare.
Neighborhood 4th Of July Party[rebelmouse-image 18358932 is_animated_gif=
County sheriffs deputy here, our bomb squad was called out to help with a probation search after agents found a pipe bomb in the felons house while doing a home visit. Blew it up with a robot in the middle of a nice middle class neighborhood.
Dropping Clues[rebelmouse-image 18348620 is_animated_gif=
A family member was on probation, he got pretty lucky but has keep his act together.
Anyways, he was out in the woods with friends (probably smoking weed) and the police show up and they all run.
Okay, great, they got away, except: he left his ID at the scene.
Why was his ID out to begin with!?!?
Does Getting On Reddit Count?[rebelmouse-image 18358933 is_animated_gif=
I missed my probation meeting this morning. I have never missed without calling before. I just messed up my calendar entry.
What do I do? I don't have much experience with this stuff.
Call and leave a message. Make sure to call as soon as the office opens tomorrow. You'll probably have to go pee but if you have always been compliant and the officer is understanding and can tell the mistake was genuine they may be cool about it.
Sooooooo Close...[rebelmouse-image 18348713 is_animated_gif=
Just thought of another one so I will double post. Not a probation officer but a cop.
Two months ago I get called over to a 4 car accident involving injury. Investigating officer says that the driver that caused the accident is acting funny and he isn't sure what is wrong with her. I'm a "DUI expert" in a sense so I head over.
Before I get there the woman is passed out. Initial officer says when he got there she awake but not really responsive, could barely manage to get her wallet out of her purse. Multiple witnesses had been following her prior to the accident and she was all over the road. One witness had been following her for several miles before she got off the freeway. Several witnesses tell us that she tried to flee the accident, but they stopped her and took her keys. The woman then grabbed a water bottle and began to take a series of small sips off of it. It was strange enough that several witnesses mentioned it.
The woman didn't smell like alcohol, pupils are responsive and not pinpoints, heart rate is good. The contents in the water bottle didn't smell like anything. We get a lot of heroin overdoses but this doesn't quite look like one. Will absolutely not wake up, doesn't respond to sternum rubs. Paramedics get there, they aren't sure what is wrong either so they pump her fill of Narcan, still no change. We rush her to the hospital.
Get to the ER and they take her to a normal room. Doctors come in, then more doctors, then more. When presented with ammonia she turns away, so some of the doctors start to think she is faking. More sternum rubs, I start to feel bad because this girl is going to be in a world of hurt when she wakes up. Doctors can't figure out what is wrong, immediately transfer her to trauma I.
They incubate her, X-ray and send her for full imaging. Nothing is showing wrong so they decide to wait for the blood work. Blood comes back normal with no drugs. About 2-3 hours later she finally wakes up. I find out that she is on felony probation for extensive DUI, theft and drug history. I interview her and she denies using drugs. I explained that the hospital blood came back negative, but while she was unconscious I obtained a warrant and drew her blood which would go the state lab for testing. She tells me she was using GHB.
Initially she gives me a BS story that she went to visit a friend at his work who is a known abuser of GHB. She tells me that he had a Gatorade which she took a drink of and it tasted funny. I call bullsh-t, I tell her I saw three bottles in her vehicle on scene and ask if there is anything in those bottles. She recants, tells me that the clear water bottle contains GHB. I get a warrant for the car, get the bottle and send it to the lab. Bottle contains GHB. Learned from the probation guys over at drug court that GHB is commonly abused since it doesn't show up in drug tests. Even hospitals don't check for it in their normal drug panels. I had to send the blood to the sexual assault lab rather than the standard county toxicology lab as they weren't able to test for it either.
When she woke up she was actually a really pleasant, nice person. She had been on drug court for 3 years, was supposed to graduate in 4 weeks when this happened. She put two people in the hospital with her stupidity, damaged 3 cars and totaled one. She didn't have insurance. I rushed the toxicology results to make sure the case got filed before she was released from probation. The judge in drug court immediately remanded her to 180 days, no good time, no early release, no ankle monitor release. This will be her third DUI and because it involved injury there is a good chance she will go to prison for the minimum mandatory of two months then start all over on parole.
So many animals are only dangerous because of their need for survival or hunger.
Humans make the relationship with the animal kingdom worse.
Is there no way to co-exist?
One Redditor wanted to discuss aspects of the animal kingdom.
"Which animal gets undeserving hate?"
Tigers and lions. Have you seen the videos of the tigers and lions who have bonded with their human? It's possible.
Bless Youbat flying GIF by eve_agramGiphy
"Bats. They eat billions of insects. You should be thanking them."
"Vultures, eating dead bodies might seem ugly to some but other animals do the same thing but also murder them so how is just finding something that’s already dead and eating that worse, also eating a carcass removes deadly diseases like botulism from the environment."
"I always show my appreciation to the local goth turkeys."
"Blob Fish... they just get yeeted out of the water and the massive pressure difference makes them look 'strange.' Kinda rude I guess. Like if we get yeeted into space and Aliens would laugh at our disfigured forms and print T-Shirts of it."
"I think I read somewhere that the pressure change causes their cells to explode and that’s why they look so horrific after being pulled out of the water. Dunno how factual that is."
Not the Villain
"Hyenas, partially because a whole generation grew up watching them help kill Mufasa lol."
"I've seen people arguing this before but people hate hated hyenas years before the lion king came out. They were constantly used in folklore as villains and opportunist and were often considered unlucky in most african cultures."Eaglekingoftheskies
Back Upearth skunk GIF by Lil DickyGiphy
"Skunks are cute, man. Just give them space."
Skunks? Um... from afar, they're cute. But stay away...
Geniushomer simpson crow GIFGiphy
"Crows. Yes, I understand the caws can be annoying, but they're far more intelligent than a lot of people give them credit for."
"Possums! They eat pests and won't typically bother you unless rabid or provoked."
"Quick reminder then you need to specify which kind of possum, because not everyone here is from America. There a lots of possums here in Australia but they are completely different from the American kind in temperament! Only annoyance with possums here is if they get into your roof. Meanwhile in New Zealand, possums are ALWAYS a pest."
Bad Movie Vibes
"The guy who wrote Jaws ended up writing another book explaining how misunderstood sharks are. Because the movie Jaws scared everyone, and fishermen began to hunt sharks, making them endangered."
"I was gonna say this! They're not bad guys they are just doing shark stuff! It's the freakin' dolphin types you gotta watch out for. Orcas will kill for fun. A shark is just trying to eat and don't see that well."
"Black Cats.They aren't evil and they don't bring bad luck."
"It's a frequent mistake, but black cats actually bring good luck and blessings from The Void!
"Be sure to tell all your friends. If we work together to insist that black cats are good luck, we can help turn over the discrimination. Also, I have proof that they are good luck - whenever I see a black cat I become happy. Coincidence? I think not!!"
Heroesfrog michigan GIFGiphy
"Frogs. They eat the mosquitoes and other bugs you don’t like."
So many animals need some PR help.
Which ones would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
Has science gotten to a point where we can make mashed potatoes by just adding water to flakes, producing a smooth and consistent texture?
Am I still going to take the extra time to wash, peel, chop, boil, and mash my own potatoes, getting zero textural consistency but maximum deliciousness?
Because sometimes the "old way" is just better, and I'm very serious about my potatoes.
Reddit user Devastator1981 asked:
"What’s one thing you still prefer to do the old-fashioned way—regardless of technology—and why?"
My seriousness about potatoes is, apparently, a passion matched by many...
Board GamesArt Design Game GIF by Scorpion DaggerGiphy
"Physical board games/card games. Most of the app versions of the games I like aren't that great. Plus, it's more fun to play with someone."
"Especially old ones. My friend has a Trivial Pursuit from the 80s. All questions are completly impossible, so we added improv/clues/charades. Funniest boardgame I have ever played."
"Yes! Family game night is a weekly occurrence for us. We have close to 100 board games."
"Great answer. Shuffling and fanning cards just feels so satisfying too"
"I have the original Cluedo board game that used to belong to my grandfather as a boy. Still one of the best board games ever made."
"I print photos and keep them in photo albums. I like to keep the special moments of life as a book and go through it page by page."
"There’s something satisfying and nostalgic about seeing the physical photos. I have my favorites displayed in frames, so I can see them every day. Makes me happy."
"I only have a few photos in a photo album but I love this idea, I need to get a camera that prints out the pictures itself"
"I agree, I took a look at my album with photos from childhood and it was so satisfying to go 15 years back and enjoy those special moments again... I like physical photos because I know they're in a safe place, they will be forever with me and can't disappear unlike the photos on my phone. Also, they look more... realistic. Or is it only my thought?"
"I back all my photos from throughout the years 3 times. One on my PC hard drive, the second on an external hard drive, and 3rd in the cloud system. I'm paranoid that if I had them in just one place, I could lose them forever"
BooksRead Beauty And The Beast GIF by DisneyGiphy
"Read. Love to have a book where I can turn the pages."
"I was the same until my eyesight started to weaken. Reading glasses are a pain. I have several bookcases full of books that I love, and love to reread, but I have rebought many of them on my Kindle. Being able to change the font size was a game changer for me."
"Books over a kindle always"
"I prefer paper, but I listen to audiobooks a lot because of how much I drive for work."
"Books, where you can turn the pages, are so much more relaxing than swiping on a screen all day, plus I love the smell of new books and the sound of the page when I turn it, but those darn paper cuts if you aren't careful."
"Drawing. I never really got the hang of digital art. It's much easier and more satisfying for me to have all of the tactile input from my work. Also, I sew, and along the same lines I prefer to hand-draft patterns."
"I think digital is easier than traditional painting. No buying paint/brushes, no mixing color, no prepping canvas, no varnish, no storing canvas and transporting when selling."
"But traditional drawing and painting also has its pro's like you said :-)"
"One of the things I love about art and artists is that no matter the medium, content, or materials, it is always art and always something to be appreciated."
"I personally use a combination of both. I can make a beautiful sketch and then I transfer it into my drawing tablet, colour and go from there."
"I've also found that I can sketch and get concepts out so much faster by hand than if using a digital medium. Something about being able to easily vary pressure while hand drawing is difficult to replicate digitally. But I do really love the ease of coloring and features available in a digital medium. Pros and cons in both!"
"I love drawing physical art but I definitely want to get into digital so I can touch up my drawings and maybe even move over to that format."
ButtonsPressing Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Physical buttons for climate controls in a car. I refuse to buy a car that only uses a touch screen for everything. Much safer to not have to fiddle with a touch screen while driving."
"Touch screens are a great invention. They’re awesome for so many things. They open up so many possibilities for all sorts of technology."
"But not everything needs a damn touchscreen. Touchscreens on cars are typically a huge distraction and hazard. It might look pretty and shiny but yeah, I’d much rather have a knob I can twist without looking."
"And why do things like dishwashers, washing machines, and refrigerators need touchscreens? I feel like it just drives the price of those things up. If it doesn’t add some sort of functionality I’d rather not have the touchscreen. Touchscreens are dope but they don’t need to be on everything"
"Physical buttons on most things. I understand how touch screens and trackpads are more flexible, but I really enjoy the tactile sensation, the certainty that you definitely pressed the right button, the extra sensation that allows you to more precisely press buttons, and the ability to press buttons with things besides your bare finger (like a gloved finger or your knuckle because you're holding something), and probably a few other things I can't think of right now"
"Physical menus at restaurants. I'm with the boomers on this one"
"Wait some restaurants don't have physical menus? TIL"
"QR menus were really frustrating until I upgraded my phone. Also hate when they don’t render right away."
"same like what if your phone's dead? what do you do then??"
"Use your limited data in a brick building to spend 5 min downloading a huge pdf of the menu that’s fuzzy anyways"
Compact Disccd GIFGiphy
"Buy music. Unfortunately buying cds just isn't as easy as it used to be. But I prefer physical media, and just convert it to digital. I hate streaming music. I don't trust the stuff I love to always be available. I like having ownership of what I listen to."
"I love buying and album and find those deep tracks"
"There was a used CD store in my old neighborhood. I loved going in and buying a pile of the '10 for $20' CDs. So much fun for (comparatively, for me) not too much money: the satisfaction of choosing from the diverse selection, the nice walk there and back, listening to the CDs as I ripped them, and then hearing the 'new music' come up in my playlists!"
"Yes. Omg. Buying CDs is so difficult now!! My car has a CD player which I LOVE, I dread the day when cars no longer have CD players and all my CD are filled with dust."
"Same here. I shouldn't need to be hooked up to the Internet to listen to my tunes. That's why when I hear a song I like, I'll write it down, prowl through the library and rip the CDs that have what I'm looking for."
"Make notes on paper. I will typically use index cards because they are not as easy to "fly away" or get crumpled or lost. But hey.... that's just me!"
"IIRC there's some research that shows that writing things down on paper makes it easier to retain than if you write it down on a computer."
"Had to scroll too far to find this!"
"Index cards are powerful. Flip them, fold in half, tear them. If you keep them in a pocket card deck, the startup cost for study is even lower, in many cases, than a phone index card app, and it’s more intuitive to quickly use color-coding or underlining when making them."
"Plus, they’re easy to sort so that you’re self-quizzing harder topics more."
"I also use mine to make shopping lists. Left one-third: supermarket. Middle one-third: Stuff to get at other shops. Right one-third: Where I'm supposed to go for shopping. I list these and cut one card in thirds! Put those in my pocket and I know just where I'm supposed to go and what I'm supposed to get."
Fireepisode 19 cooking GIFGiphy
"Cooking using firewoods. It gives more aromatic flavor to your food"
"I especially love slow cooking stuff wrapped in foil / leaves / etc in the embers. Best potatoes ever. Apples stuffed with honey cinnamon butter. So many yummy things."
"For some reason, I've always wanted to try that. It seems really cool"
"I read this as fireworks and was so confused for so long."
"Charcoal, too. Not sure why, but whenever you burn straight carbon instead of a hydrocarbon, it just tastes better. That teeny little bit of oxygen makes all the difference."
"Propane is great and very efficient, but you just don’t get the flavor."
CoffeeCoffee Time GIF by Jones Brothers CoffeeGiphy
"Not sure if this counts, but I grind my coffee by hand and use a simple brewing method (either chemex or french press) to make it."
"I think having full control over the process leads to better tasting coffee than I get with any automatic machine. Also, having a ritual that I do every morning and takes a little elbow grease helps kickstart my day."
"French press coffee is good but I hate cleaning them. I just use a funnel and a filter."
"I don't use a machine but I use the sort of coffee where you get a spoonful and put it in a boiling cup of water. :)"
"Glad I'm not the only one. I own an espresso machine and electric grinder specifically for it (grinding 6 shots of espresso by hand takes forever...) but if I just want a cup of coffee French press, chemex, and aeropress (for traveling) are where it's at. The minute to weigh and grind are absolutely worth it for the quality over regular store bought pre-ground drip coffee."
Now that you know what Reddit is still kicking it old school about, it's your turn in the confessional.
What do you do the good old fashioned way?
Not everyone is a renaissance person or jack/jill of all trades.
Certain professions are suited to certain types of people.
So we don't have to bad-mouth the jobs we deem out of our depth or "beneath us."
Maybe let's give a few jobs a try and more props to the people who do them!
Redditor atomicturdburglar wanted to help out a few career paths with some positive chat.
"Which profession unfairly gets a bad rap?"
I've had so many jobs. I'm interested to see what y'all add to this list.
From BehindAwkward Lucille Ball GIFGiphy
"Gastroenterologists get a bad wrap because buttholes are gross and who would want to spend time there, but these guys save lives."
"I was a cleaner. People used to treat me like furniture and assumed all kinds of things about me. That was the best-paying job I ever held, with the best benefits, and most vacation! I went back to school for a more 'dignified' career, and my 'dignified' job sitting at a desk ended up being worse in every way."
"Plumbers. People always assume they’re gross greasy old dudes but really they’re extremely skilled professionals."
"I'm straight up so jealous of my plumber. He's really fit and like movie star handsome, nice and great at his job, an honest professional, just built himself a gorgeous dream home in a great neighborhood. Dude is just slaughtering life."
"Janitors. Give them respect, people, unless you want to empty your own trash and clean your own work or school space. Seriously, being nice to the janitor saved my tail one time when I was locked out of a room that contained some vital work material. The big boss didn't have keys to that room, but guess who did?"
"I’m a teacher and the first people I befriend at the school was the janitors. They keep that place running. I made a point to learn about them, things they like etc. and on Custodian Appreciation Day as well as Christmas I make sure to get them a little something as my way of saying thanks."
Sky PeopleShock Electrocute GIF by Dr. Paul BearerGiphy
"Meteorologists. Lotta jokes along the lines of 'must be nice to be wrong half the time and still keep your job.' Do you know how difficult it is to predict the weather 2-3 days out, let alone a week out?"
I don't understand the weather. So I'll pass.
Tip Accordingly...kitchen dancing GIF by StaatsloterijGiphy
"Was hoping someone wound say this. I miss working in restaurants. Good Pay, good people. Unlimited time off. Physically exhausting and mentally challenging but so worth it."
Full of Thanks
"Embalmers. Thankless job people think they are creepy but who else would do that."
"Embalmer here. Luckily it isn’t always thankless. Surprisingly, in my experience, families do appreciate and understand the care taken with their loved one which makes it all worth it."
The People at the End...
"Morticians. Really don't get why; they're the last ones to ever let you down."
"A lot of them are family owned enterprises passed down through the generations. If you've grown up hearing about that kind of stuff, it doesn't seem weird at all. Most people don't want to acknowledge our mortality, but it's one of those certainties in life; along with that comes job security."
"But people definitely assume we’re creepy/morbid/obsessed with death when they hear embalmer. And while it’s true sometimes, overall we’re a (relatively) normal bunch who have the unique gift of somehow being able to healthily compartmentalise the horrific things we see on a daily basis."
"My job's certainly gross, but there's usually not as much of an emotional component to it. I've got empathy for people but not enough patience to deal with them all day every day. It exhausts me. But spending hours listening to music, chatting with a coworker or two while figuring out exactly what happened, why this person died? That's rewarding to me."
"I've working in coroner/ME systems for a good while, and there's a fair amount of job switching between county morgues and funeral homes. Funeral homes can pay better and may be less busy, but you also have to deal directly with grieving family members, i.e. take money from them during their darkest days. It's a delicate and often thankless job."
"Auditors. Clients are rude to them. Bosses treat them like s**t. And Public just wants them to work like donkeys and find fraud even though it's not their primary responsibility."
"I think I'm pretty nice to the auditors that come into my company."
"Apart from that one year where I had to explain the same thing to a guy three times and then had to teach him some basic accounting principles, like how to deal with prepayments and why we were accruing certain costs. I didn't want to deal with him again after the first day."
Objection!Law Lawyer GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
"Lawyers, when they're/your/lawyer they're good lol. But yeah people often like, don't understand what the job of a lawyer truly is so people are quick to demonize them."
"Yeah there's some that truly are out there abusing loopholes and being scummy, but most lawyers are just doing what they're supposed to. Making sure their client is getting charged fairly. Even if they are guilty, they still are there to ensure a just punishment and not overkill."
These all seem like reasonable jobs. Some difficult but worth the effort.
There is nothing more satisfying than gorging on a dish with the perfect variety of ingredients creating a symphony of flavors for a completely euphoric experience.
Not all culinary creations excel at this. It depends on the individual whose taste preferences may be different from that of others.
All it takes is one ingredient to spoil the party.
Curious to hear from strangers Redditor poetic__ asked:
"What ingredient automatically ruins a dish for you?"
You would never expect these as responses for the assignment.
When The Emperor Lost His Groove
"Poison. Kuzco's poison. The poison for Kuzco."
Doesn't Plate Well
"Spaghetti sauce if it's a plastic dish."
"A bit of water and lemon juice gets the stain right out of plastic."
Someone Swam In Your Soup
"Little black curly hair."
Nope To Beach Picnics
"Sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Now we're getting somewhere.
Finding The Right Balance For It
"Too many cloves. I have had many tooth pains in my lifetime and the taste of clove oil lingers dreadfully in my mind. I do like curry powder and some of my favorite pickle brines include a lot of cloves. The taste just has to be balanced with the other spices and seasonings. If I get any faint hint of it I'm immediately grossed out."
Doesn't Mix Well
"That piece of spices in your stew that you thought it was meat."
"Ginger? Chomping into a piece of ginger when you thought it was meat.... 🎵You'll get the shock of your life."
"I'll never understand why people think stevia is a replacement for sugar. Doesn't taste anything like sugar. Same with Sucralose."
Let's get specific.
"Jello. I have spent FAR too much time in a hospital as a child. according to my mother jello was basically all I could eat. since I got out, it's been my only culinary hate. taste, texture, just, nope."
There's A Time And Place
"Raisins where there should not be raisins."
"Hey alright! Chocolate chip cookies! Don't mind if I do.... oh F'K YOU!!"
"I want to love Indian and Middle Eastern sweets. They look so good, but nope every time it goes in my mouth all I can taste is rose water. Like chewing on the potpourri from grandmas bathroom."
I'm not a shrimp fan, however, I can eat it when it's fried in tempura batter.
My family would periodically order fried rice–which I absolutely love–whenever we ate at Chinese restaurants.
Even though we ordered pork or chicken fried rice, I found that many of the LA Chinese restaurants we ate at threw in surprise shrimp as if to spite me.
I would pick them out and eat the rest. Now, I don't know if it was just me, but I would still taste hints of shrimp juice every time, which ultimately ruins the dish for me. Yeah, it's just me.
Stay in your lane, shrimp!