Life is full of double standards and double edged swords. Which of course means that life... is eternally unfair.
Whether it's a sexist issue, a work issue, a race issue, there always seems to be levels of judgement that leave certain parties feeling slighted.
A perfect example is curfews. I can understand having a later curfew when relating to age, but when growing up, several of my female friends had earlier curfews than their younger brothers. Fair? I think not.
Also, parenting is full of double standards. How many times was I told not to curse when half of the adults out there have the mouths of sailors? Mhmmm...
Redditor u/CLHiddenInPlainSight wanted to discuss the most egregious unfairness in life by asking:
What's the WORST double standard?
One of the most stressful and aggravating places for double standards is the workplace. If we all work hard and stay focused we should all be rewarded accordingly. So often that is not the case. Women and people of color and gender expressions are often overlooked in order to promote less productive people. I call BS.
Are you working?
Work Sucks GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"My Boss has brought me into his office repeatedly to tell me I don't do enough work and that we are all swamped right now. My Department is short staffed. Yet he has no issues sitting at his desk watching movies all day long, yet if I sit for five minutes to shoot off an email I am wasting my time."
Wining and Working
"I used to work nights by choice, which meant that occasionally I'd knock off work and decide to have a glass of wine before bed. For me, that was about eight in the morning, when my housemates at the time were getting up to go to their nine-to-fives. The reaction from people was insane."
"For me, it seemed way weirder to sleep during the day, wake up in the late afternoon, then get dressed and go out for dinner and drinks with them, which basically meant that I was having wine for breakfast -- but from their perspective, that made perfect sense. Night work is weird."
Sleep Tight
"My stocking manager at my first job (stocking for a grocery store) didn't teach me any of the techniques or methods for efficiency (yes, there are methods and techniques to stocking shelves as quickly and efficiently as possible), so I was very slow at it for a while. Turns out he never trained me because he was too busy napping in the office during our shifts."
"He would help us unload the truck when it got in, and then disappear to his office for the next 5-6 hours while we stocked so he could sleep. Like I understand helping with the shelves isn't necessarily his job, but not training your new employee and sleeping on the job is super crappy."
Crazy Pops
"My grandfather. He acts like an a**hole then gets upset when he gets called on his bull. He's also very quick to use first amendment rights to try and cover his a**, which gets him yelled at even further. He also makes things political during family gatherings, which nets him plenty of nasty looks from both me and my mother. Unfortunately, chewing him out is the only way to shut him up. I'm sorry for complaining so much, I just really needed to get that out of my system."
Goes Both Ways
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
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"Employers expecting loyalty from employees while provided none in return. Sorry, buddy, loyalty is a two-way street. If you can terminate my employment at a moment's notice, then I reserve the right to leave when I want to."
I knew a ton of these would be work related. As we head back from Covid it's really time to rethink and make adjustments to these situations. Also, grandpa is never changing.
Rationalize This!
angry pegboard nerds GIF by Monstercat
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"That my employer expects me to flawlessly come into work on time every day with no excuses allowed, yet our paychecks being late are met with rationalizations and excuses from the payroll department."
Puff Elsewhere
"Breaks during work. Acceptable for smokers, questionable for non."
"I'm a smoker, and at my last job I smoked 3 cigarettes every day. One at ~10am, another one right after lunch, and the third at ~15. I had 30 minutes lunchbreaks, which I only used 20 of to justify the smoking. And once he said I was smoking too much, and wasted so much time, blah blah. It didn't matter anymore when I told him I'd take my full lunchbreaks from now on, without interruption."
Crazy Historical Events That Sound Fake But Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
lazy days...
"It isn't the worst double standard, far from it, but it's annoying. It's about the workers who start early (and leave early) vs the workers who start late (and leave late). Let's say I start to work at the office at 6am while my coworker starts at 8am. If I leave at 2pm and he leaves at 4pm, we would have accomplished about the same amount of work. For some reason, I'd be the one who's tagged as lazy because I leave the job earlier. It didn't happen to me, but I witnessed it a few times during my career."
Mr. Dad
"When a mom can parent but a dad can only babysit."
"UGH. My kids are 9 and 11 and when they were younger (so not that long ago), my husband would take them grocery shopping or to the park or to the movies, etc. and so often he'd get "oh, how cute, you're babysitting!" He was like "Umm, no, they're my kids. I'm parenting." SMH."
Tools & Toys
Lets Go Ghost GIF by Arrow Video
Giphy
"When I was a kid if I left my toys out and one of my parents stepped on them I got yelled at and in trouble for not putting my toys away. On the other hand, when my dad left his tools out and I stepped on one I got yelled at for not watching where I was stepping."
Blackmail
"I had a friend that worked at a batting cage in high school. The dude that owned the place was super shady and would always pay my friend like 1-2 weeks late. One day my friend had been waiting several days for his paycheck and the owner rolls in to work in a new Lexus. My friend ended up stealing some equipment and keeping it in his car with the threat of reporting the owner if he didn't get paid that day. Lo and behold the owner came up with the money and my friend quit the next day."
BS!
"School administrations will throw a dog-and-pony show about how much they will not tolerate bullying, yet will do nothing when it is taking place within their school. The bullied kid can speak up all they want but nothing will get done without hard evidence or some other BS. What happens when he has had enough and starts hitting back?"
"Suddenly he's the aggressor and now the Principal wants to exact their Zero Tolerance Policy on that kid who justifiably defended himself. If you are a parent and are concerned for your child being a recipient of bullying, empower them to use violence to defend themselves. In some situations violence is the answer."
- TheDoc16
Personal Loss
"Wage theft is larger than all other forms of theft combined, but is not considered a crime. If you steal $100 from the register, you will go to jail, be branded a felon and (potentially) lose your voting rights. If your boss leaves $100 out of your paycheck you can maybe recoup some portion of that after a protracted civil case at significant personal cost."
Louder!
Meme Reaction GIF by reactionseditor
Giphy
"Person 1 yells at Person 2, then gets offended if Person 2 yells back at them."
You're Hired
"That people won't hire you if you don't have experience but how do you get experience if no one hires you??"
"It's a sign of an industry that is perceived to have enough workers. They know that there are experienced people available, and they don't want to train up a green employee because it costs more."
- superkp
You're Fired!
"Companies will fire you without notice but expect a 2 week notice when the employee resigns."
"Honestly I do it more as a courtesy to my colleagues so I can properly transition my ongoing projects to them. I've been fortunate enough to like my coworkers at all of my jobs and I don't want to make their lives harder for little benefit to me. It's not like the new job is going anywhere in that time."
Respect
"Young people have to respect their elders, but then said elders can say and do as they please."
"Yeah. Had this happen to me. My parents raised me to be their equal. Multiple times I'd be dating a woman with "old fashion" parents who expected me to defer to them as though I'm twelve. They didn't like me much."
Sharp Edges
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"You can carry two single-edged knives, but a single double-edged knife is automatically illegal."
Medical Fails
"If you take maternity leave, your job/position is protected and your medical insurance still covers you. You can also use any campus facility at my previous university as you are still "considered a student" and your scholarships can be put on hold. NSERC even pays a stipend."
"Get cancer and need to take some time off? Welp, job's not held, your insurance refuses to cover you as you "aren't working". You'll also lose your scholarships and being "on a medical leave of absence" means you can't use any uni's facility without paying a premium."
- rainfal
Lacking Morales
"Colleges that teach ethics while ripping the students off in every way possible. I believe that ethics should still be about what is right or wrong... not what you can legally get away with."
"As a former college student, I felt this one. I feel like every college views students as walking ATMs and I went to a public college so I kind only imagine how much worse a private school would be."
Oh that dad one got me. Why can you keep your clothes on the floor but I can't? Life doesn't have to be perfect but it can certainly be a bit more fair.
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I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...
Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
The Sting
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
Walk Away...
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed Off
Piano Performing GIFGiphy"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...
Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
Smoked
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"Well, if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it'll be something to fawn over."
Hey Fam...
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!
jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
- Sregge
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"This joke is great because everyone can laugh at it."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."
Lord Farquaad Ok GIF by PeacockTVGiphyCars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paint
lightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
"Also in Cars, when Mack is driving down the highway and wants to pull over into a truck stop to rest, the sign at the truck stop says 'Top Down Truck Stop, All Convertible Waitresses.'"
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
Oh, Ratatouille.
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"
ratatouille flirting GIF by Disney PixarGiphyCoco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
- TerH2
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"Monster House."
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."
Whispering French GIFGiphyChildren's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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